Facing Redemption (43 page)

“Thank you.”  Jesse’s voice was raspy.  “I’m sorry.”

She gave him stern look. “I said stop.”  He laughed and he hugged his niece. 

Timothy watched his wife walk down the long hallway and turn around the corner out of distance.  This time his eyes were the ones tearing up. 

Every step felt like her legs were made of cement, as she slowly dragged herself along.  Chastity could feel her heartbeat accelerating with every foot that she got closer to the end of the hallway. 

Once she turned the corner, she was faced with another set of doors that led to the chapel, where her father sat inside.  She took one, two, three steps until she stood right before the doors that would open up the biggest can of worms she’d ever known.

Lord, give me strength.
  She knew she was walking into a chapel, a place of God.  It couldn’t be all that bad.  Chastity lifted her unsteady hand and turned the doorknob.  What she saw wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  A few pews lined either side of the room, with a pulpit at the front and altars on either side. 

She had to fight the urge to pass out.  It felt like the air was being cut off from her lungs, and her heart was beating so loudly she was sure anyone inside could hear it.  That’s when she saw him and all her sensations faded into the background.

She saw what seemed to be a very broken man kneeling at the altar.  His head was buried in his hands, and his shoulders were hunched.  She thought she saw them shaking a bit.

             
Is he crying?  Or praying?  Probably both. 
She decided.

In the first few seconds, Chastity didn’t know what to do.  She couldn’t just approach him.  She didn’t even know him, but seeing him she was overcome by emotions she didn’t know were possible.  She felt pity for him.  She expected anger or apathy, but not pity.  She knew he must be so afraid and for the first time, she ached for her father.   Chastity sat on the pew a few rows behind her dad close enough to hear him but not close enough to alert her presence.

John heard someone walking behind him but gave it no thought.  All he could do was continue to plead with God for Andie’s life. The altar, beneath his face, was already slick from the tears that had cascaded down below.  The fear that his mother’s death was replaying in real time right in front of him terrorized and gripped his heart – and he knew he had to be strong. 

He knew he had to stop pleading in fear to God and start praying in strength.  It’s what Andie would have told him to do, so he would do it for her in hopes that God would really hear him.

             
“Dear Lord, I’m not so good at this.  I know you hear everyone though, according to my wife anyway.  She is an amazing woman,” John’s voice broke.  Chastity couldn’t control her emotion and had to put her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out.

“But God - you already know that.  I know heaven would be a great place with her in it, but I’m not sure I can handle earth here without her.”  John sniffed and continued.  “God, I’m not worthy of anything…not her, not my family, but some day I hope to be.  I hope to be a dad that my girls can look up to.”

             
Chastity’s head popped up at the word ‘girls’.  Her chin started to quiver as she tried to hold back the emotions tearing through her.

             
“I’ve been begging for Andie’s life God.  I want her here…our baby girl needs her here!  But Andie would tell me that you’re in control and I can’t demand anything.  I can tell you that I love her and she makes me a better man!  You know I’m a work in progress.  You know my faith is small so God please just give me stronger faith!” 

John’s voice cracked and this time his shoulders definitely shook.  Chastity sat up on the edge of her seat.  She wanted to comfort him.  She felt a pull in her heart but wasn’t sure.

             
“God please make Andie better!  I am asking for you to please let her stay here with us!  I would be eternally grateful, and I know this is something you can do.  You perform miracles all the time…I know because I hear about miracles that happen every day at church.  Real miracles that happen in real time – not just in the Bible.  I just need a miracle God.”  John sobbed, unsure what else he could do. 

He sat back on his heels and pulled back from the altar, sobbing, when he felt a hand on his back.  John turned his head to see a miracle.  It wasn’t the one he was asking for, but it was an amazing miracle just the same.  He saw his daughter’s eyes, filled with tears, for him and he couldn’t hold back any longer. 

He sobbed harder knowing God had given him an answer to prayer he’d been praying for – for a very long time.  He’d prayed to have Chastity with him in his life, but never imagined it would take a family trauma to make it happen. 

             
Chastity couldn’t hold on to the anger anymore.  All she felt for this man was empathy and sadness for his heart.  She kneeled down next to him and put her hand in his.  Their fingers had the same long gentle shape.  It felt very natural to be holding his hand, and a part of her immediately clicked with recognition and closure, that she didn’t even know she needed.

             
“Can I pray for her - with you?”  Her voice was thick with emotion.

             
John couldn’t even speak.  All he could do was nod and say thank you with his eyes.  Chastity smiled through her tears.

             
“John, it’s going to be okay.  She’s not your mom, and she’s going to make it.  You just have to have faith.”  Chastity reassured him.

             
“I prayed for you.”  He ruggedly whispered.

             
“Thanks.”  She squeaked out between tears.  “I really appreciate that.  I mean it.”

Timothy waited long enough to be respectful but couldn’t wait any longer.  He had to make sure his wife was okay.  He rounded the same corner to peek into the chapel.  What he saw melted his heart for his wife.  She and her dad were knelt in prayer, holding hands.  He saw Chastity slip an arm around her dad’s shoulders, and smiled. 

             
He turned to leave them to their privacy and returned to the waiting room.  Jesse stood up anxious to get a report.  Timothy put his hand out and gave the okay sign.  He nodded for Jesse to sit back down.

             
“They’re praying together.”

             
Jesse sighed in relief.  “Do you think we should join them?”
             
“No, I think we can pray right here. I think Chastity needs this.”

The three of them leaned their heads together and began to pray.  They knew that when two or more came together, that God always answered prayer.  Timothy, Jesse, and Lauri all three joined in faith that Andie would be okay.

             
And that’s how the surgeon found them, huddled together in the waiting room with their heads bowed.  It was a sight he never got tired of seeing … family in prayer.  He was a man of prayer himself, and throughout the long but successful surgery he prayed the whole time through.  It was close but he was about to deliver some really good news to a very deserving family.  He waited politely until they’d finished and lifted their heads. 

Jesse said his ‘Amen’ along with the rest of his family.  When he opened his eyes, they rested on the best thing he’d seen in hours… a tired but smiling surgeon.  He was so afraid that the first time he saw anyone from Andie’s medical team that they would have a sober look in their eyes, which meant bad news.

Jesse stood to cross the room with high hopes.  “What the news doc?”

“Andie is resting, comfortably sedated in ICU.  She’s really weak, but her vitals are getting stronger. ICU is just a formality at this point. There was a touch and go moment during surgery, but she’s young and strong.  And I know she was fighting to see that little baby of hers.”

Lauri breathed a sigh of relief along with Timothy.  He’d never met the woman, but he knew she was part of his family now.  Timothy squeezed Lauri’s hand and smiled.

“Where is John?”  The surgeon asked politely.

Jesse pointed toward the chapel hallway.  The surgeon knowingly nodded.

“Then how about I go tell him that the mother of his child will be ok?”

“Can I do it?”  Jesse asked.  “We have a history.  You see our mom died in childbirth, giving birth to John.”

The surgeon’s eyes widened.  “Sure.  You just tell him to call me when he wants the details.  I’m going to go back in to make sure my staff has everything taken care of for Andie and then I’ll be available.  Let him know he can see Andie as soon as she’s out of post-op but it might be a while – so take him back to his baby.  It’ll do them all some good.”

“Thanks so much.”  Jesse ran his hand through his hair.

“Anytime.  I completely understand.”  With that the surgeon left through the double doors leading back to the surgical unit, and Jesse made his way down to the chapel.

Jesse quietly stepped inside to what was obviously a tender moment between father and daughter.  His entire being warmed when he saw the two hugging and pulling apart at the front of the small chapel.  He heard John whisper something to Chastity, which brought a grin to her face.  He knew they were going to be okay.  It might take time for them to have a strong bond, but they were on their way to having a relationship. 

“Excuse me?”  Jesse softly said as he made his way toward them.  John turned expectedly with pure anxiety written across his face.  “You want the good news or the good news first?”

John held his breath.  His chest felt so tight that he didn’t think he could handle much more.  “Have you heard anything?”  His voice was raspy from the tears he’d already shed.  Chastity looked to her uncle with hope.

“The surgeon just came out to the waiting room and gave Andie the green light.  She’s in ICU for now, but they expect her to recover.  Her vitals are getting stronger.  He said she fought through the whole surgery.”  Jesse smiled down at his little brother.  He extended his hand to help him up from the pew.  “Come here little brother.”  He helped John up and wrapped him in a big bear hug. 
             

John couldn’t believe how blessed he was.  All in one moment, he had the love of his brother, Chastity, and news of Andie’s recovery.  Plus he was a new dad! 

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.  Thank you! 
For the first time in his life, he felt whole.  He felt redeemed from his past and he felt grateful instead of having unending guilt.  He was a new man and planned on owning up to all the blessings in his life.  He knew this was God’s plan all along – to show him how much love he could give and receive in life.

As John pulled out from Jesse’s embrace, he clasped his hand down on his shoulder.  “Thank you Jesse.  I was so afraid…that what happened to mom would …” He almost broke down again, but wouldn’t let himself. 
Andie was going to be okay! 

“John, what happened to mom was part of her history – not Andie’s.”

“I know you’re right, but I was the reason …” John’s voice trailed off.

“No, you weren’t the reason.  Mom hemorrhaged.  And the doctors weren’t fast enough or good enough to help.  It just happened.  You were not the reason John.  Get that through your head.  And because she died and you lived does not make you responsible for your entire life.  You know that, don’t you?  And that doesn’t mean Andie was destined to have the same fate.  This was pure coincidence and an entirely different medical issue.  And this time, you had doctors who were fast enough and skilled enough to save her.”

John smiled for the first time in hours and nodded.  “You’re right.  I know it.”

Chastity sat back taking in both men, in awe.  They were so similar in nature and mannerisms.  It was such an odd feeling to finally have a connection to a whole family again.  For the last couple years, she’d convinced herself that Jesse was enough – but having both of them in the room with her was awe-inspiring.  A peace settled deep into her heart and Chastity realized that hole that had been there and ached for so long was gone. 

“So why don’t you tell me more about my little sister?”  Chasity’s soft words immediately pulled both brothers from thoughts of their past.

“I am so ready to see my little girl.  It’s not that I didn’t want to be with her this whole time,” John said gesturing to the chapel around him.  “But I had to be here for Andie first.”

“Of course.”  Jesse consoled John.  He patted him on the back and gently made his way toward the door.  “You can’t see Andie just yet, per doctor’s orders, but he said you can soon.  And I’m more than ready to hold my niece.”
             
“I haven’t even seen her yet.  They rushed me out before she was born because Andie started to go into …” John sighed and shook his head in remembrance.  “I’m so glad she’s gonna make it.”

“So let’s go see her!” Chastity shrugged her shoulders in excitement. 

John nodded, and then paused.  “Hey is Timothy here?  I’d like to meet him too.”

“He’s in the waiting room with Lauri,” Chastity responded slowly.  She wasn’t sure how Timothy would feel about meeting John.  They’d had a lot of history that surrounded her feelings about her dad.  She just hoped he’d cope with it okay.