Extreme Denial (20 page)

“What? But that’s crazy. Why would anybody want to kill me?”

“Exactly.” Esperanza’s dark gaze intensified. “You’re holding something back.”

“Nothing,” Decker insisted. “I’ve told you everything I can think of.”

“Then think about this. Someone drove their vehicle away. Suppose he comes back with another group of men to finish the job.”

“Are you trying to scare me, Sergeant?”

“I’m putting a policeman on guard at your house.”

8

Decker had never felt so naked as when he took off his clothes and stepped into his shower. Not wanting to be outside his house any more than was absolutely necessary, he had abandoned the idea of returning to Beth’s place so he could clean up there. He would have to make do with the cold water coming from his shower, a small discomfort compared with his urgent need to rid himself of the sticky feel of sweat and death that clung to him. Shivering, he washed his hair and body as fast as he could. His muscles were painfully tense.

Quickly, he shaved, the cold water making the razor irritate his face. He put on loafers, khaki pants, and a camel shirt, the colors chosen because they were muted and wouldn’t draw attention to him. Wishing that the police hadn’t confiscated his pistol, regretting that he hadn’t bought two, he picked up a shopping bag of clothes that he had taken from Beth’s bedroom closet after he had made his phone call at her house. He tried not to look at the dried blood on his hallway floor as he carried the bag into his living room, where Officer Sanchez was waiting.

“I need to go to the hospital to visit my friend,” Decker said.

“I’ll drive you.”

The stocky policeman went past the courtyard and into the driveway. After looking around, he gestured that it was all right for Decker to come out and get in the police car. Troubled by a group of curious onlookers who were gathered on the road, pointing toward his house, Decker didn’t feel reassured, but Sanchez’s precaution was better than nothing. If only I had a gun, Decker thought.

He wasn’t fooled by the explanation that Esperanza had given for putting Decker under police guard. Sanchez wasn’t staying with Decker only to provide protection; the policeman’s presence also guaranteed that Decker wouldn’t suddenly leave town before Esperanza got some answers. Six hours, Decker thought. The intelligence official whom Decker had spoken to on the phone had said to call back in six hours. But six hours seemed an eternity.

As Sanchez steered onto St. Michael’s Drive, heading toward the hospital, Decker glanced through the rear window to see if anyone was following.

“Nervous?” Sanchez asked.

“Esperanza has me jumping at shadows. Aren’t
you
nervous? You seem a little heavier than when I first saw you. It looks to me like you’re wearing a bullet-resistant vest under your uniform.”

“We wear these all the time.”

“Sure you do.”

At the hospital, Sanchez avoided the parking lot and stopped at an out-of-the-way door, then scanned the area before saying it was all right to go inside. On the third floor, the heavyset policeman hitched up his gun belt and stood watch outside Beth’s room while Decker went in.

9

“How are you?” Decker studied Beth in the hospital bed; his heart filled with pity and sorrow. Again he blamed himself for having been indirectly responsible for what had happened to her.

Beth managed a smile. “A little better.”

“Well, you look
much
better.” Decker kissed her cheek, trying not to jostle the sling on her right arm, noting that the intravenous line had been removed.

“Liar,” Beth said.

“Really. You look beautiful.”

“You have a great bedside manner.”

Although Beth’s hair remained gritty, the tangles had been combed from it. The pallor had faded from her tan cheeks, as had a lot of the dark areas around her eyes. The blue-gray eyes themselves had regained some of their brightness. Her loveliness was reasserting itself.

“I can’t tell you how worried I was about you.” Decker touched her cheek.

“Hey, I’m tough.”

“That’s an understatement. How’s the pain?”

“It throbs like hell. Did you learn anything? Did the police find out who broke into your house?”

“No.” Decker avoided her gaze.

“Tell me all of it,” Beth insisted.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ve gotten to know you better than you think,” Beth said. “You’re keeping something from me.”

“... This might not be the time to go into this.”

“I’m asking you not to hide things from me.”

Decker exhaled. “The detective in charge of the investigation—his name is Esperanza—feels that this wasn’t a random event, that those men broke in specifically to kill me.” Beth’s eyes widened.

“I can’t imagine a reason anyone would want to kill me,” Decker lied. “But Esperanza thinks that, well, I ought to be careful for a while until he figures out what’s going on. There’s a policeman with me. Outside in the hallway. He drove me here. He’s sort of... I guess you could call him ...”

“What?”

“My bodyguard. And ...”

“Tell me
everything.
”

Decker looked deeply into her eyes. “You mean too much to me. I don’t want to put you in danger a second time. When you’re released from the hospital, I don’t think we should see each other for a while.”

“Shouldn’t see each other?” Beth winced, sitting straighter.

“What if you were struck by another bullet meant for me? It’s too dangerous. We’ve got to stay apart until Esperanza gets the answers he wants, until he says the risk is over.”

“But this is insane.”

Without warning, the door opened. Decker turned sharply, not knowing what to expect, relieved when he saw the short, slight doctor whom he had met when Beth was admitted to the hospital.

“Ah,” the doctor said, adjusting his spectacles. “Mr. Decker. You must be as pleased as I am by Ms. Dwyer’s recovery.”

Decker tried not to reveal the intense emotions his conversation with Beth had produced. “Yes, she’s recovering better than I’d even hoped.”

The doctor walked over to Beth. “In fact, I’m so pleased, I’m going to release you.”

Beth looked as if she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Release me?” She blinked. “Now? Are you serious?”

“Absolutely. Why? You don’t seem happy about—”

“I’m delighted.” Beth glanced meaningfully at Decker.

“It’s just that what happened has been so depressing----”

“Well, now you have some good news,” the doctor said. “Resting in your own bed, with familiar things around you, you’ll be at the top of your form in no time.”

“In no time,” Beth echoed, glancing again at Decker.

“I stopped by your house and brought you some clothes.” Decker gave her the shopping bag he’d been holding. “Nothing fancy. Jeans. A pullover. Tennis shoes and socks. Underwear.” The latter reference made him feel self-conscious. “I’ll have a nurse bring you a wheelchair,” the doctor said. “But I’m able to walk,” Beth said.

The doctor shook his head. “Our insurance won’t let you leave the hospital unless you’re in a wheelchair. After that, you can do as you like.”

“Can I at least dress myself without a nurse watching?”

“With an injured arm. Are you sure you can do it?”

“Yes.” Beth checked that her hospital gown was fastened tightly, then allowed the doctor and Decker to help her out of bed. “There. You see?” Beth stood on her own, looking slightly off balance because of the sling on her right arm. “I can manage.”

“I’ll help with your clothes,” Decker said.

“Steve, I.. “

“What?”

“I’m not feeling very attractive at the moment. In fact, I’m so grungy, I’m embarrassed.” She blushed. “I could use a little privacy.”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. But if you want privacy, sure, I’ll be waiting outside in the hallway. When you’re ready, the policeman will drive us home. If you do need help, though ...”

“You can bet I’ll let you know.”

10

After Sanchez checked the parking lot, Decker nervously guided Beth through the hospital’s side entrance. On guard against any threatening movements in the out-of-the-way area, Decker helped Beth from the wheelchair into the backseat of the police car, then quickly closed the door and got in the front.

“Why aren’t you sitting back here with me?” Beth asked as the police car pulled away.

Decker didn’t answer.

“Oh. “ Her voice dropped as she realized.” You’re keeping a distance between us in case ...”

“I’m having second thoughts about even being in the same car with you,” Decker said. “If Esperanza’s right, there’ll be another attempt against me, and I don’t want to put you at risk. I can’t bear the thought that something might happen to you because of me.” On edge, he kept studying the cars behind him.

“And I can’t bear the thought of being apart from you,” Beth said. “Are you really determined that we shouldn’t see each other until this is over?”

“If I could think of another option that was safe, I’d take it,” Decker said.

“We could run away and hide.”

Sanchez looked back at her. “Sergeant Esperanza wouldn’t appreciate that. In fact, I can guarantee he’d do everything possible to discourage you.”

“That’s part of your job right now, isn’t it?” Decker asked. “To make sure I don’t leave the area?”

No response.

“It might be a good idea to avoid returning along St. Michael’s Drive,” Decker said. “Take an alternate route so we don’t follow a predictable pattern.”

Sanchez looked strangely at him. “You sound as if this isn’t the first time you thought you were being watched.”

“An alternative route just seemed a logical precaution.” Decker turned to Beth. “We’ll let you off at your house. You told me you had business back east, that you were leaving tomorrow. This is a good time for it. I know you don’t feel like traveling with your arm the way it is, but you’ll be able to rest when you get to New York. In fact, it would be a good idea if you stayed with relatives when your business meetings were over. Make it a long visit. And I think you should leave sooner. This afternoon.”

Beth looked overwhelmed.

“It’s the only sure way,” Decker said. “I still can’t believe Esperanza’s right, but in the event that he is, someone wanting to hurt me could use you as a weapon, maybe kidnap you.”

“
Kidnap
me?”

“It has to be considered as a possibility.”

“Jesus, Steve.”

“We can keep in touch by phone, and the moment Esperanza thinks it’s safe, you can come back.”

“Stay away?”

“Maybe it won’t be for a long time. Maybe it’ll just be a little while.”

They lapsed into an awkward silence as Sanchez pulled into Beth’s driveway and parked the cruiser protectively sideways in front of the gate to her walled courtyard.

Beth winced when Decker helped her out of the backseat.

While Sanchez waited in the police car, they entered the courtyard and paused beneath the shadows of the portal, looking into each other’s eyes.

“This has got to be a mistake.” Beth said. “I feel as if I’m having a nightmare and I’ll wake up in your arms and none of this will have happened.”

Decker shook his head.

“Can you think of
any
reason someone would want to kill you?” Beth asked.

“I’ve asked myself that question a hundred times. A
thousand
times. I can’t think of an answer,” Decker lied. He studied her face intensely. “If I’m not going to see you for a while, I want to make sure I remember every detail of your face.”

He leaned close, kissing her lips, trying to be gentle, to avoid her injured shoulder.

Regardless of her wound, Beth used her free arm to hold him close against her, to kiss him as if trying to possess him, even as she winced from the pressure against her shoulder.

She rested her cheek against his, whispering urgently, “Run away with me.”

“No. I can’t.”

She leaned back, her eyes imploring as fiercely as her voice.
“Please.”

“Sanchez just told you, the police would stop us.”

“If you truly loved me ...”

“It’s
because
I love you that I can’t risk putting you in danger. Suppose we did manage to fool the police and run away. Suppose we were followed by whoever is after me. We’d always be looking over our shoulders. I won’t do that to you. I love you too much to ruin your life.”

“One last time—please, come with me.”

Decker shook his head firmly.

“I’ll miss you more than you know.”

“Just keep reminding yourself, this won’t be forever,” Decker said. “In time—with luck, soon—we’ll be together again. When you get to wherever you’re going, use a pay phone to call me. We’ll work out a way to keep in touch. And...” Decker breathed deeply. “There are so many details to be settled. I’ll ask Esperanza to have a policeman drive you to the airport. Also ...”

Beth put a finger to his lips. “I’m sure you’ll take care of everything.” Reluctantly, she added, “I’ll phone your house when I’ve made flight arrangements.”

“Do you need help getting your suitcases ready?”

“Most of my stuff is already packed.”

Decker kissed her a final time.

“Remember the best day we ever had together,” Beth said. “There’ll be many more.” Decker waited until he had his last glimpse of Beth going into the house. Only after she closed the door did he turn and walk back to the cruiser.

11

“
I want to talk to you.
“ Esperanza was waiting in Decker’s driveway when the cruiser pulled in. His normally relaxed lean features were rigid with fury. “I want to know why you lied to me!”

“Lied?”

Esperanza stared past Decker toward bystanders on the road. “
Inside
.”

“If you’d tell me what’s bothering you.”

“
Inside.
”

Decker lifted his hands in a surrendering motion. “Whatever you say.”

Esperanza slammed the door shut behind them after they entered. They faced each other in the living room.