Existing (11 page)

I look away from him as t
he image of Rose in her costume floats through my mind. Her nipples were hard and poking through the fabric of her swimsuit for the majority of the time that we were at the pool. Her toned legs were long and smooth, and I hated the fact that for the briefest seconds I imagined them being wrapped around me.

“Gabriella Knight,” I huff.

Riley grins. “I knew it! I knew I’d seen you looking at her.”

He hasn’t seen me looking at her at all, but whatever.

“Do you want me to set you up?” he enquires.

I nearly spit my beer out. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you to. We’re not thirteen anymore, Riley. If I want to get into her knickers
, then I can do it myself.”

“So, you’re going to?”
he persists.

“What?”

“Try and get in her panties?” he says.

I huff. I have no intention of going anywhere near the school slut, but I nod at him anyway.

“I hear she lets you fuck her like a dog,” he says.

“That’s great,” I s
ay, “if you’re a zoophile.”

“Zoophile?” he repeats, frowning at me. “That some stupid English thing again?”

“No, it’s someone who likes fucking animals.”

Riley laughs and throws another bottle of beer at me. “You’re a funny little fucker at times, Cabe Evans.”

I roll my eyes at him. Why on earth did I choose to sit next to Riley two years ago?

I’m woken the next morning by the rain hammering down hard against my window. I stretch up and realize that it’s only five in the morning. My room is completely black, apart from the faint red glow that comes from the numbers on my electronic alarm clock. I toss and turn for what feels like hours before I finally give up and push my covers off twenty minutes later. I dress quickly and quietly and sneak down to the kitchen.

I open the fridge so I can make myself a hot drink but
realize we’re out of creamer. When I look more carefully at the shelves, I realize we’ve run out of everything. Someone has put the empty carton of eggs back and even the empty juice bottle too. I flip open the bread bin and find one moldy loaf of bread and a half-eaten bagel. I narrow my eyes, knowing full well who would do something so lazy and downright annoying, and try to think what Ava is going to eat for her breakfast.

I reac
h up to the top of the cabinets and pull down an old cookie jar. I find fifty dollars in there that my Father keeps as emergency cash in the house. I peer through the window but can’t see anything other than my tired face reflecting back at me. I pull on my raincoat and head outside.

I spotted the twenty-
four hour Wal-Mart the first day we moved here. It’s only a mile away up the beach, so I lower my head out of the blinding rain and ear-stinging wind and make my way through the dark. I pass a perfectly square, bricked building that is the town’s library and make a mental note to visit it one night this week.

By the time I get home
, it’s already half past six. The sky is still thick with night and the other three people in the house are still lost in the peacefulness of sleep. The rain continued to fall from the sky the whole time I was out and has completely soaked me, so I dump the shopping bags onto the counter and wander into the bathroom, flicking on the shower.

When I re-emerge an hour later
, I’m clean, dry, and dressed, with my hair straightened and a minimum layer of make-up covering my face.

“Did you go shopping this morning?”

I glance up at my Dad, not expecting anyone to be in the kitchen. “Yeah, I did. There wasn’t any food for breakfast.”

I hear a sizzling noise and I
realize he’s got eggs, sausages, and bacon cooking in a frying pan. He walks toward me and kisses me on top of my head. “Thanks, Rose.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I was awake anyway. The rain on my window woke me up early and I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

He nods and sips on his coffee as he looks out of the window. “Yeah, I guess that’s the only negative thing about living on the coast in Oregon; we get lots of rain in the spring and fall.”

I slip o
nto one of the seats at the breakfast table. “I don’t mind the rain as long as we have some sun in the summer.”

He shovels the food onto three plates and calls for
Ava. He hands me two triangles of toast and a plate full of food. “Dig in,” he says, smiling.

Ava
comes walking slowly into the kitchen while rubbing her eyes and yawning as I pick up my silverware.

“Morning,” she says, sounding grumpy.

“Morning,” my Father and I say at the same time. We glance at each other and grin.

I watch
Ava climb onto a seat and pick up her fork and smile. I can’t remember the last time we ate breakfast with my Father, and I can’t remember a time when it was just the three of us. I have a feeling today is going to be a good day.

I step off the bus at the same time that a
shiny black Volkswagen swings into the space directly in front of me, forcing me to jump out of the way before its tires run over my toes. I watch the door fly open and then a set of long legs covered in expensive dark denim emerges slowly. He stands to full height, forcing me to look up into his face. He smiles and I notice another set of gleaming white teeth. What is it about Cannon Beach that makes everyone have perfect smiles? I see my own curious brown eyes staring back at me in the reflection of his aviator style Ray-Ban sunglasses. I shield my eyes from the blinding sun, unable to believe the difference in the weather from just a few hours ago. The boy in front of me smiles and pushes his glasses up his face until they’re wedged in his thick, glossy hair.

“Good morning
, Roisin.”

I roll my eyes.
I hate that I was standing there wondering who this attractive yet annoying guy was. I hate how his deep, smooth English accent makes a fluttering feeling erupt in my belly.

“U
gh, it’s you.” I push past him, pretending I haven’t heard him as I step through the wrought iron gates.

“Hey!” he calls out.

I hear him slam his door shut before the bleep of the locking system sounds out behind me.

“Roisin, wait.”

I ignore him and continue up the path. I hear his deep breathing arrive at my side.

“Why are you ignoring me?”
he asks.

I stop and turn quickly to face him. “You nearly ran over my foot!”

“I didn’t mean to,” he says softly as his eyes trail over my face. “I turned my car into the parking lot and then there you were. I didn’t see you. Honest.”

“You w
ere turning in too fast to stop,” I say quickly.

His mouth pulls up at the side. Is he mocking me?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”

I shake my head
, trying to dislodge the brightness of the sun from my vision. “You should be more careful, Cabe.”

He smiles his easy, confident smile at me and sighs. “I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t see you
, Rose.”

“Okay. Fine,” I say
, continuing up the path to the doors. “Just forget it then.”

I sense that he’s stopped behind me and find my feet halting in their step. Students push past me as if I wasn’t there. I don’t turn around but instead try to figure out what it is that Cabe wants from me. If it’s true what Charlotte says and he’s rebuffed every other girl
, then why does he seem so intent on befriending me? When I finally turn to look at him, he’s standing with his head cocked to one side. His piercing grey eyes look brighter today in the light and flow down my entire body, making goose bumps explode all over my skin.

He grins. “Just so you know
, I let you win at swimming yesterday.”

“Oh really?”
I say smiling, as I try to ignore the other students that walk past us.

“Yes,” h
e says, stepping slowly forward until he’s close enough to me that I can feel his cool breath wash over my face. He smells like the ocean and the air after it has just rained. “Only because it was your birthday, but I think I deserve a chance to reclaim my title.”

“
Shh,” I say, quickly looking around me. “How did you know about my birthday anyway?”

He taps the side of his nose playfully. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

I watch him pull his sunglasses back down over his eyes before he grins and walks away. I can feel myself frowning as I stare at his t-shirt and the way that it clings to his long, strong back. What is it exactly that Cabe Evans knows and why is he acting like he cares anyway?

“Damn, that boy is mighty fine and oh my god, that accent! I could listen to him talk all day long.
”

I stare open-
mouthed at Ashley and quickly look around to see if anyone has heard him.

“No one
heard,” he says, waving his hand at me. “He is a sexy piece of work though, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “well, at least all the other girls seem to think so.”

Ashley chuckles.

“What’s funny?”

He grins. “Nothing. See you later, girl.”

I’m still smiling as he hops down the stairs. I can’t for the life of me figure out if he’s joking or not about being gay. I mean,
I’m keeping it a secret for him so if he thought I’d tell the whole school then I’m calling his bluff, but I genuinely don’t understand why he’s decided to make me his new best friend.  I turn and walk into the school when I hear my name being called again. I’m certainly popular this morning, I think to myself.

“Roisin?”

I turn to see Charlotte carrying two bags up the steps.

“Hi,” I smile. “What are you doing?”

She huffs and puffs until I take one of the bags from her. “It’s beach wear.”

“Beach
wear? What for?”

She rolls her eyes.
“Duh, the party on Friday. What do you think it’s for?”

“Oh.” I follow her through the halls to her locker. “I didn’t
realize we had to wear beach clothes.”

She laughs and unlocks her locker using a small key that she keeps on a thin chain under her top. “What on earth did you think you would be we
aring to a party at a house on the beach?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I guess I hadn’t really thought
about it.”

She pulls out a tiny
, black triangle bikini and holds it up against me. “You are coming on Friday, aren’t you?”

I beam at her. “Yes, I asked my Dad last night.”

“Cool,” she says. “It’ll be tons of fun.” She gently leans in toward me, making me shuffle to the side. “Cabe will be there.”

I look to the floor and lean back into her. “That’s nice for him.”

She giggles and slams her locker closed. “Come on, Miss I’m-going-to-tell-everyone-I-don’t-like-Cabe-Evans-even-though-I-do.”

“I don’t,” I say, as I follow her toward
Math class.

As we walk down the hallway,
I spot the boy that laughed at me in the cafeteria on my first day. He’s leaning into the wall with one hand around the back of a girl’s head, while the other hand seems to be freely wandering over her chest. I can’t stop myself from staring at them.

“That’s Riley Morgan,” Charlotte informs me.

“You know him?” I ask.

Charlotte shrugs and nods at the same time. “Yeah, I know Riley.”

The way she says it makes me think there’s something about him that she’s not telling me, but I don’t feel like I can ask her about it. Not yet anyway. “Is he Cabe’s best friend?”

She nods. “Yeah, but I’ll never understand why.”

“How come?”

“Well,” she sighs, “Cabe is Cabe. He’s not exactly quiet, but he’s quiet compared
to Riley. Cabe is really smart, polite, and can sometimes be helpful and kind. I’ve never seen him with a girl, like I’ve already said, but Riley is the complete opposite of all that. He’s rude, annoying, loud, mean, and he’s pretty much slept with every girl in our year and is slowly making his way through the year above.”

I quickly glance at him again and his mane of black hair that seems to stick out from his head in every direction. He’s attractive, in a wrestler sort of way. I can see why girls are attracted to him though. They seem to like the
good-looking, overly-confident, and cocky guys. Even when they’re the ones who are likely to break their hearts.

I follow her as she moves towards the table that Cora and
Hannah are sitting at. She’s wearing a tight-fitting, short dress that clings to her curves, leaving nothing to my imagination. It finishes in the middle of her thigh, but her thick black tights mean there’s nothing else to see.