Exercises in Style (16 page)

efinitional

In a large self-propelled urban public transportation vehicle
designated by the nineteenth letter of the alphabet, a young excentric with a
nickname given to him in Paris in 1942, having that part of the body that
connects the head to the shoulders stretched out over a certain distance and
wearing on the upper extremity of his body a piece of headgear of variable shape
with a thick intertwined ribbon forming a plait around it—this young excentric,
imputing to an individual who was going from one place to another a misdemeanour
consisting of displacing his feet one after the other onto his own, set off to
place himself on a piece of furniture placed in such a way that it could be sat
upon, said piece of furniture recently having become unoccupied.

One hundred and twenty minutes later, I saw him once again in front
of the grouping of buildings and of railroad tracks where the unloading of
merchandise and the loading or unloading of passengers takes place. Another
young excentric with a nickname given to him in Paris in 1942 was furnishing him
with advice on what it is appropriate to do with a round of metal, of horn, of
wood, etc., covered with fabric or not, used to fasten clothing, on this
occasion a garment for men that one wears over top of the others.

anka

The S bus arrives
A behatted dude gets
in
There follows a clash
Later outside Saint-Lazare
There is talk
of a button

Lescurian translation

In the Y, in the Russian housing. A chapelry about thirty-two yeomen
old, felt hauberk with a corduroy instead of a rictus, nectarine too long, as if
someone had been pulling on it. Peradventures getting off. The chapelry in
quickness gets annoyed with one of his neologisms. He accuses him of jostling
him every time anyone goes past. A snivelling tonight which is meant to be
aggressive. When he sees a vacant seclusion he throws himself onto it.

Two housings later, I meet him in the Couture de Röntgen, in front
of the Saint-Leaderette statuary. He is with a frill who says to him: “You ought
to get an extra byblow put on your overdraft.” He shows him where (at the
larcenies) and why.

ipogram

Okay.

At this stop, our bus did stop. Climbing on is a hip young chap with
a collar that was too long, who had on his noggin a cap with a limp ribbon. This
young man attacks both first foot and adjoining foot of an individual of which
bottoms, corns, and calli quickly turn to pulp; and post hoc, jumps for a stall
and sits on a foldaway chair that nobody was occupying.

At a postliminiar position of his watch’s big hand, across from
Saint-Thingy or Saint-You-Know Station, a companion was informing him: “That
button on your topcoat is in too high a location.”

That is all.

eometrical

Within a rectangular parallelepiped moving along the length of a
straight line of equation 84
x
+ S =
y
, a homoid A having a
spherical cap surrounded by two sinusoids, above a cylindrical section with a
length of
l
>
n
, presents a point of osculation with a
trivial homoid B. Demonstrate that this point of osculation is a cusp.

If homoid A comes into contact with homologous homoid C, then the
point of osculation is a disk of radius
r
<
l
. Determine
the height
h
of this point of osculation by comparing it with the
vertical axis of homoid A.

EXERCISES PUBLISHED OUTSIDE
OF EXERCICES DE
STYLE

oq-tale

Ever since the bistros got closed down, we just
have to make do with what we have. That’s why, the other day, I took a pub bus,
at cocktail hour, on the N.R.F. line. No point in telling you that I had a
terribly hard time getting in. I even had a permit, but IT WASN’T ENOUGH. It was
also necessary to have an INVITATION. An invitation. They are doing pretty well,
the R.A.T.P. But I managed. I yelled, “Coming through! I’m an Éditions Julliard
author,” and there I was inside the pub bus. I headed straight for the buffet,
but there was no way to get near it. In front of me, a young man with a long
neck who hadn’t removed the Tyrolean hat with a plait around it that he wore—a
lout, a boor, a caveman, obviously—seemed set on gobbling down every last crumb
that was before him. But I was thirsty. So I whispered in his ear, “You know,
back on the platform, Gaston Gallimard is signing contracts.” And off he ran,
the sucker.

An hour later, I see him in front of the gare Saint-Bottin, in the
midst of devouring the buttons of his overcoat, which he had swapped for some
macarons.

(first published in
Arts
, November 1954)

cience
fiction

On a flying saucer found on Cassiopeia’s Alpha
Line (via Betelgeuse and Aldebaran), I noticed, among my travelling companions,
a young Martian whose too-long neck and plaited head prodigiously irritated me.
That is how Martians are built—sure. But, I don’t know why, this one really
grated on my system—my solar system, naturally. (That’s a little cosmic joke.)
We were really packed in there, on that saucer, which is easily understandable:
if it had only been a plate (another cosmic joke…). And suddenly my young
Martian starts marsing, pardon me, marching on the extrapods of a Moon Man. The
poor Moon Man hardly had time to collect himself than the other—the Martian—had
gone and comfortably sat down in the middle of the saucer… in the teacup…

A light-year later, I see him again—the Martian—doing some
astro-helicoptering over near Sirius. He was in the company of one of his own
species, who was telling him:

“Your vrxtz… you should have it moved higher up, your vrxtz.”

(first published in
Arts
, November 1954)

othing

In the S + 7, in the russet houseboat. A chape
about twenty-six yellows old, felt hatching with a cordoba instead of a riblet,
necromancer too long as if someone had been pulling on it. Peppercorns getting
off. The chape in queue gets annoyed with one of his nematologies. He accuses
him of jostling him every time anyone goes past. A sniveling tonga which is
meant to be aggressive. When he sees a vacant sea urchin he throws himself onto
it.

Two houseboats later, I meet him in the Courtliness de Roraima, in
front of the Saint-Lazzarone stationery. He is with a frigate bird who says to
him: “You ought to get an extra button snakeroot put on your overemphasis.” He
shows him where (at the lappets) and why.

(first published in
Exercices de littérature potentielle
,
Dossier 17, Collège de ‘Pataphysique, 1961)

il

In the S bus, in the scale industry. A circle
about 26 acts old, felt high with a crack instead of a roll, noise too long, as
if someone had been pulling on it. Planes getting off. The circle in reaction
gets annoyed with one of his noses. He accuses him of jostling him every time
anyone goes past. A snivelling train which is meant to be aggressive. When he
sees a vacant sense he throws himself onto it.

Two industries later, I meet him in the Current de Rome, in front of
the Saint-Lazare Stomach. He is with a glass who says to him: “You ought to get
an extra cat put on your parcel.” He shows him where (at the legs) and why.

(first published in
Exercices de littérature potentielle
,
Dossier 17, Collège de ‘Pataphysique, 1961)