Authors: Fay Darbyshire
‘Any chance at all you can break out tonight? x’. She so badly wants to say yes, but deep down she knows it isn’t realistic. Even if she could get out of the house without her mum noticing, how would she get back in? And if she was caught, well, the repercussions aren’t even worth thinking about. The temptation is there, but Abbey isn’t about to go and make life any harder for herself.
‘Afraid not… have fun tonight. x’ Is all she replies. Abbey knows that they have plans to go to a party later as Liam had mentioned it in passing when they had been texting earlier. They will most likely be out with the rest of their friends who Abbey has yet to meet. She had been looking forward to the prospect of expanding her social life and getting to know the group that Lucy, Nathan and Liam talk about constantly. Although the four of them have become incredibly close, there are still times when Abbey doesn’t quite feel included. She is still the new girl and they have known each other for years, plus she doesn’t move in the same circles outside of school as they do. She tries her best to ignore it, whenever she feels left out, but it bothers her. Abbey had hoped that would all change once she finally got to meet the group of friends they speak so highly of. How typical that the opportunity should finally arise when she is locked up against her will.
Just as Abbey is thinking how things can’t possibly get any worse, her bedroom door bursts open and Peter charges into the room with his hands clenched angrily by his sides. His demeanour isn’t subtle and Abbey can tell instantly that he is ready for an argument. She can feel herself shift into defensive mode as he walks forward three paces and stops abruptly.
“Don’t you knock?” She asks, sharply.
“What the hell are you playing at Abbey?”
“Excuse me…?”
“I’ve just been speaking to Mum and…”
“And what…?” Abbey snaps. She looks up at her brother and fumes at the disapproving look on his face. Peter annoys her at the best of times, but she hates him when he patronizes her like a child. When Ryan died and her dad left he suddenly started acting like the newly appointed head of the family. It makes Abbey’s blood boil and she can’t stand his superior attitude, “What the hell has it got to do with you…?” She demands.
“It’s got everything to do with me when I get home and see how much you’ve upset Mum. Seriously, what were you thinking? You’re in your last year at school, you’ve got exams coming up and you’re skipping lessons, hanging around with a bunch of losers?”
“They are not losers…” Abbey seethes, “and you have absolutely no room to talk. You skipped school; you were almost expelled for god sake!” Peter’s mouth snaps shut. Abbey knows it is a different situation entirely, but she can’t resist the satisfaction of wiping the smug look off his face. Peter had fallen in with the ‘wrong’ crowd when he was much younger, around 14 years old. He was never badly behaved and never got into any real trouble, but the one time he had agreed - out of peer pressure more than anything - to skip class, they had been caught. Unfortunately one of them was spray painting graffiti on the side of the school fence at the time and all of them were punished. It was only after an extensive amount of grovelling from their parents that he was allowed a second chance. She knows Peter still feels terrible and that’s why Abbey is so quick to mention it whenever he climbs up on his high horse. He wasn’t always the perfect, golden boy he makes himself out to be.
“I was stupid…” He admits through gritted teeth. “…but luckily I was younger and I learnt from it. If you mess up now during you’re A-levels, you could be paying for it for the rest of your life…” Abbey knows he has a point but her stubbornness makes her reluctant to acknowledge it out loud. She had worked so hard in her first year up until Ryan’s suicide. And then even afterwards - when she had returned to school - she found her studies were a pleasant distraction from the devastating loss she felt. It took her mind away from it all and as a result, even in the immediate aftermath of her twin brother’s death, Abbey’s work didn’t really suffer. To make it through all that trauma and heartache with good grades only to throw it away now doesn’t make a great deal of sense even to her. But things have changed. In fact everything has changed, and her priorities have shifted considerably.
Peter might be incredibly condescending with his advice - if you can even call it that - but it seems as though he genuinely cares about Abbey and doesn’t want her damaging her future prospects. She is still irritated, but her defensive attitude softens slightly due to her brother’s apparent concern. She sighs grudgingly, almost ready to admit defeat, but before she can speak he interrupts her in the same antagonistic tone, “… I’m serious Abbey, how the hell do you think Mum would cope if you messed everything up now?!”
It takes a brief moment for Abbey to process his words before anger swells inside her. How could she be so stupid? How could she mistakenly believe that Peter actually gives a damn about her? It is all about Janet. It is
always
about Janet and Abbey is still totally and utterly insignificant. Her life, her pain, her grief… none of it matters to him. He is only there to lay on the guilt. To fight Janet’s corner like he always does. She should have known better.
“Oh what a fucking surprise…!” Abbey slams her hands on her desk and jumps up, shoving her chair out behind her, “I should have seen that one coming…!” The volume of her voice takes Peter by surprise and he rocks back on his heels, “It’s always about her isn’t it? As if the rest of us aren’t suffering too…”
“Can you hear yourself?” His voice is breathless with disbelief, “Mum has enough to deal with right now without you acting like a spoilt little kid! Sort it out…!” Peter storms out of the room and Abbey tries to shout after him but her words get stuck in her throat. She is so angry. How dare he speak to her in such a condescending way… he isn’t her father for god sake, it’s none of his business. What right does he have? What right do any of them have? Both Peter and Janet have spent the last few months practically ignoring her, acting as though she doesn’t even exist - and now they think they can tell her how to behave and dictate her life? It is so hypocritical.
Abbey snatches her phone from her desk and slumps onto her bed. She struggles to hit the buttons as her hands are shaking so badly, but after a few attempts she manages to type out a message to Lucy and without any hesitation, hits send.
‘What time and where tonight? X’
Abbey is genuinely surprised at how easy it is to sneak out of the new house. She goes downstairs in her pyjamas to set up her alibi and make it seem as though she is getting an early night, being careful not to make too much of a show and rouse suspicion. Once she is back in her bedroom, she gets ready as quickly and as quietly as possible - occasionally creeping over to the door to listen out for approaching footsteps while doing her hair and make-up. There are a few brief moments of doubt when her conscience almost gets the better of her, but she is still so angry with Janet and Peter that those moments don’t last long. Her window opens fully and is more than big enough for her to climb out of and her bedroom is thankfully on the side of the house that adjoins to the garage, the roof of which is only a metre and a half below. If that wasn’t the case, her mission might have failed.
Abbey throws her bag as gently as possible into the bushes below, before sitting on the windowsill and swinging her legs round so that she is facing outside. She carefully lowers herself down as far as she possibly can - and with a quick glance back - let’s go of the window frame. There is a dull thud as she lands and she waits a moment, listening intently for any movement inside the house. Satisfied that she hasn’t been heard, she stands on her tiptoes and pushes the window to, so that it is only open an inch. There is a drain pipe next to it that she can use to climb back in, but she will worry about that part later.
Abbey hurries across the garage roof, climbs down onto the garden wall and drops onto the driveway, looking back at the house one last time as she dusts herself off and dashes out into the street. There is still a part of her that can’t believe what she is doing but she won’t turn back now.
Lucy, Nathan and Liam are waiting for her outside the co-op down the road and their expressions flit between shock and admiration as she approaches.
“We didn’t know if you’d make it…!” Lucy shouts, as Abbey crosses the road towards them.
“I said I was coming didn’t I?!” She greets Lucy with a hug; followed by Liam and Nathan - instantly forgetting about her worries and the huge amount of trouble she could potentially be in.
“I got some booze already… you like vodka right?”
“Sure, vodka’s fine…” Abbey isn’t much of a drinker so she can’t really say what alcohol she does like. She had turned 18 in February - two weeks before the move to Leeds - and needless to say there wasn’t much celebration involved. It was a milestone birthday but it was also a stark reminder of what Ryan would never experience. He would never drink, never drive, never vote. He had died 4 days shy of their 17th birthday, so the last two have passed by with no real festivities at all. They have become a more sombre occasion, and in a way Abbey feels as though she is betraying Ryan by getting older, almost as if she is leaving him behind. She is moving forward, while he is frozen… forever sweet sixteen.
After a 15 minute taxi drive through Leeds, past the train station and out towards the bottom end of town, they stop at a modern, high rise building on the outskirts of the city next to the water of the Leeds-Liverpool Canal. They pay the driver and approach the main door, where Liam presses a button for flat 38. There is a pause, then a click.
“Yeah…?”
Liam leans forward, putting his mouth right up to the speaker as he shouts in a stupid voice.
“EASY BRUVVAAAA…!” Whoever’s on the other end of the intercom responds in exactly the same way, and the buzzer sounds, releasing the door. Lucy rolls her eyes as the four of them make their way inside.
They ride the elevator up to the 9
th
floor and walk down a long narrow corridor that is painted and carpeted in neutral colours. Various pieces of modern art hang on the walls and large free standing vases are placed sporadically along the passage way.
“Wow, this is really nice…” Abbey wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t something this up market.
“Yeah, Alex has a pretty high paying job…” Liam laughs and the three of them glance at each other as if sharing a private joke. Once again Abbey feels a little left out, but at least she is here with them. They have included her by bringing her along tonight and she reminds herself that she should be grateful for that. As the four friends approach the very end of the hallway and flat number 38, Lucy reaches up to knock, but before she has a chance, the handle turns and the door swings open unexpectedly. Abbey stares, wide eyed and breathless, as everything around her fades into the back ground. Time seems to stand still and in that fraction of a second, her whole entire universe shifts. “What time do you call this…?!” The man standing in the doorway asks his question in a deep Irish accent that flows so beautifully, it is almost surreal. He is tall, with dark brown hair that is styled into a slight quiff at the front. He is wearing faded jeans, a grey v neck t-shirt and a set of silver rosary beads that hang just past his chest. He is incredibly lean and toned, with the muscles in his arms standing out in stark contrast to his slender frame. He has incredibly chiselled features with a few days’ worth of stubble and the most piercing, electric blue eyes that Abbey has ever seen.
“We’re not that late! We just had to go pick Abbey up…!” Lucy kisses him on the cheek as she enters the flat and Abbey follows behind, smiling timidly. Her heart is beating so fast it feels as though it is going to explode out of her rib cage. She had never really given any thought to what Alex or the others looked like… she had never asked. So it is a complete shock seeing first-hand how unbelievably good looking he is.
Liam enters the flat and Alex shakes his hand, slapping him on the back in greeting. Abbey can’t resist glancing back over her shoulder but she quickly looks away when she sees that he is still watching her. He greets Nathan in exactly the same manner, before shutting the door without once taking his eyes from Abbey’s face. She begins to feel uncomfortable under his constant stare and turns away shyly, desperately trying to control her blushing.
“Lucy! You’re here!” An incredibly attractive, glamorous looking girl bursts into the room and dashes over to Lucy, hugging her tightly. Following calmly behind her is another girl of a similar age. She has strawberry blonde hair and freckles, and is very pretty in a much more natural, girl next door sort of way.
“Guys this is Abbey… Abbey this is Gemma Sanders and Sophie Richardson…”
“Hi Abbey, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Gemma, the first and more flamboyant of the two, hugs Abbey in greeting and passes her a drink, “We’ve heard a lot about you…”
“Thanks. All good I hope?!”
“Of course all good…!” Lucy smiles encouragingly.
“Yeah, she’s alright is our Abs…!” Liam winks, cracking open a can of lager and casually draping his arm around Abbey’s shoulders, “Where are tweedle dum and tweedle dee?!”
“I thought that was you and Nathan?!” Gemma teases, but before Liam has chance to retaliate two more men enter the room.
“EASY BRUV! Took your time didn’t you… you sort me out?!” The first makes a bee line straight for Liam and they slap hands. He has a broad build, short dark spikey hair and is obviously from London, as he speaks in a strong cockney accent.
“Yeah mate, your beers are in the fridge. This is Abbey. Abbey this is Tom…” Tom nods and winks as he steps forward, pulling Abbey into a huge bear hug.
“You alright darlin’? It’s good to meet you…!”
“Yeah, you too…!” Abbey smiles back. He has a cheeky, mischievous look about him and comes across as extremely approachable. She likes him instantly. Lucy skips excitedly across the room, pulling on the hand of the other man who Abbey has yet to meet. He has long shoulder length brown hair and a full sleeve tattoo on both arms. It instantly becomes apparent that this is Lucy’s brother, Darren, as they look scarily alike. She introduces them in her usual flamboyant manner and Abbey holds out her hand.