Even Angels Fall (17 page)

“I suppose you’re another person who’s going to tell me she’s a bad influence’? Nathan and Liam too?”

“They aren’t exactly model students but I’m not here to tell you who to be friends with…” Abbey is thrown for a moment. She had been mentally preparing herself for a lecture because anyone would be completely within their rights to have that opinion. They are a bad influence.

In the few months she has known them they have convinced her to skip school, got her grounded and introduced her to the world of hard partying and mild substance abuse. They are at least partly to blame for ‘leading her astray’, but then Abbey also has to accept that she willingly made those choices for herself. Regardless, it doesn’t matter either way, as they understand her better than anyone and are there for her, unconditionally. They are her best friends, and she will always stick up for them, despite other people’s opinions.

“So, why exactly are we having this conversation?” Abbey asks. Something about Mr Harper’s demeanour has stoked her curiosity. He is acting differently, almost as if he is worried about her. More than a teacher would usually worry about a troublesome student.

“When you arrived here we were made aware of what you and your family have been through recently…”

“That’s not really any of your business…” Abbey instantly feels guilty for her abrupt response as she can tell Mr Harper is trying to approach the subject sensitively, but it is her usual knee-jerk reaction. Talking about her family situation with her friends is one thing, but it is a different story altogether talking about it with someone she barely knows. She feels very guarded and strangely protective of Ryan, even still.

“Maybe not, but you skipping class is my business…” He states with a little more authority in his voice, “Look, I understand how something like that happening can give you a new perspective, and school might not be on top of your list of priorities right now; but I don’t want to see you making any decisions that could damage your future, decisions you could end up seriously regretting…” Mr Harper has hit the nail on the head. It has changed her. She does have a new perspective and outlook on life, but for some reason him figuring that out only annoys her further. She doesn’t need him psycho analysing her or sticking his nose into her personal life.

“I don’t think you have any idea how I feel…” She says, bluntly.

“No one can know exactly how you feel except you… but I do get it…” Mr Harper’s voice drops to a whisper and there is a sorrowful look in his eyes, “My brother was killed. He was knocked down by a drunk driver outside his house…” Abbey stares in silence, shocked at his sudden and intimate confession, “For a long, long time, I wasn’t willing to accept that. Why him, you know? His wife told me after the funeral that he left the house a few minutes earlier but he’d forgotten his keys, so he went back… and that one, simple decision cost him his life. He should have been on the other side of the road when that bastard turned the corner and I hated him for that; I became a different person because of it. Started acting out, doing stupid stuff because I didn’t know how else to cope…”

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” Abbey isn’t quite so defensive now. In fact she is fairly sure she is wearing the same sympathetic, pity face that she resents Mr Harper using on her, but she can’t help it. She really feels for him. She knows all too well what that crushing sadness and anger feels like, when the person you are closest to is suddenly gone from your life and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

“You tell me…” He asks, “Is you skipping school out of character?”

“Maybe… I mean, I guess it’s out of character for the person I used to be…”

“That’s understandable…” Mr Harper smiles and Abbey returns it. Who knew his past could so closely mirror her own situation? She sighs and stifles a laugh.

“What are you anyway, a teacher or a shrink?!”

“I’m a teacher who cares. We are rare but trust me we do exist!” He jokes, “Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot and I understand that you’re figuring things out at the moment, but I mean it… I won’t tolerate you missing my lessons without a legitimate reason…”

“Fair enough…” Abbey shrugs in defeat, and she stands, throwing her bag over her shoulder as she turns towards the door. Part of her wants to say something reassuring or helpful to Mr Harper, to make him feel better… but she has nothing. She knows no words can take the pain away.

“I appreciate you not wanting to talk to me today…” He adds, just as she is about to leave, “but if you ever get to the point where you do… you know where I am…”

Abbey nods appreciatively and walks out into the crowded hallway with her head buzzing from all the new information she has just acquired - highly personal information - about her tutor. Is he always so open with his students? There is something about their exchange that doesn’t quite add up but Abbey can’t put her finger on it. She replays the conversation over in her head as she reaches her locker, but she doesn’t have time to dwell on it, as one of the puppets suddenly appears right in front of her.

“Hi Abbey! Did we learning anything fun in lesson today?” Liam talks in a childish, high pitched voice as he makes the puppet move just inches from Abbey’s face. She punches it out of the way and he gasps in mock disgust.

“I worry about you, I really do…”Abbey shakes her head in dismay at Liam and Lucy who are smiling from ear to ear and looking very pleased with themselves.

“You have to admit that was pretty funny!”

“Hilarious…!”

“Where have you been anyway? Lesson finished 10 minutes ago!” Lucy asks.

“Harper wanted a heart to heart…”

“What…?”

“Never mind…” Abbey waves her hand and dismisses her last comment. She feels uncomfortable talking about her conversation with Mr Harper as what they discussed is so private. She quickly decides that it is best to keep this one to herself.

“Yeah never mind about that…” Liam thankfully changes the subject, “What about you and our Alex then, eh?” Or maybe not so thankfully.

“Yeah, we may have heard a few things…” Lucy smiles, innocently, “hence the impromptu puppet show!”

“You couldn’t just ask like normal people?” Abbey frowns.

“Where’s the fun in that?!” Lucy’s tone is so genuine that Abbey can’t help but smile. Everything has to be fun with Lucy; otherwise there’s no point. There is never a dull moment.

“Yeah… puppet animals need to know the gossip too, you know!” Liam resumes his squeaky voice and holds the puppet just inches from Abbey’s face again. She smacks it away, giving him her ‘I’m warning you’ look, but he is too busy pretending to be deeply offended by its mistreatment.

“You’ve become weirdly attached there Liam…” Lucy jokes.

“They’ll never understand our love…” He turns to the puppet and caresses it’s head.

“You’re such an idiot…” Abbey laughs, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of the situation as Liam starts to back away down the corridor.

“I’m off to get Nathan… we’ll see you at the flat later, or should that be…
lover boys
?!” He swoons, blowing a kiss to Abbey as he flutters his eyelashes.

“Just take your puppet whore and go!” She shouts after him – perhaps a little too loudly – as a group of people nearby turn and stare at them, as Liam sticks his middle finger up, grabbing his crotch with the puppet before disappearing into the crowd.

Abbey and Lucy make their way outside and walk slowly across the playing field, arm in arm. The lunchtime buzz is in the air and they weave in between the mass of students that are sitting on the grass, chatting in the sunshine, laughing, joking and flirting with each other.

Abbey can’t help giggling at Lucy’s excited ramblings and the fact that she hasn’t paused for a breath in about 10 minutes. She is clearly thrilled at the recent developments and is getting more than a little bit carried away, constantly referring to Abbey and Alex’s ‘relationship’, which is probably jumping the gun a bit. The weekend had been wonderful, perfect even, but it is still very early days. Even so, the way she casually says the word ‘relationship’ makes Abbey’s stomach flip. She is so attracted to Alex on every level and she wants nothing more than for it to be true.

Lucy continues to discuss in detail the limitless potential of double dating and Abbey is so amused by the conversation that she has become almost oblivious to her surroundings, completely unaware that they are approaching the end of the playing field. The crowds have thinned considerably and they are almost at the back exit of the school, when out of nowhere someone barges past Abbey, slamming into her shoulder so hard that it knocks the breath out of her.

“Jesus, watch where you’re going!” She snaps, irritated.

“Or what…?!”

Abbey rolls her eyes as she slowly turns around and comes face to face with Natalie. She is flanked by two friends and her expression is twisted into a bitter snarl. With everything that has happened in the last few months, Natalie and her little harem had almost become irrelevant. They backed off once Abbey made friends with Lucy, Nathan and Liam… probably because it is far less fun victimizing someone when they aren’t quite so isolated and vulnerable. That is usually how bullies work.

“Have you got a fucking problem…?” Natalie hisses, rocking back on her heels in anticipation, while waiting for Abbey to respond. There was a time when she first arrived here that Abbey would have been utterly petrified by such a confrontation. She would have panicked, probably cried, and internally debated whether she should run away or try and talk her way out of trouble, but now, she feels nothing. Nothing but anger, intolerance and pity for the horrible, vindictive girl stood in front of her. She has been through too much shit in the last few years to let someone as pathetic as Natalie Alder get to her. She just isn’t worth it.

“Whatever…” Abbey sighs, shaking her head and exchanging a look with Lucy as they turn away and carry on walking.

“God look at you, you think you’re so fucking special don’t you?!” Natalie shouts after them, and Abbey turns to face her again.

“I don’t think that at all, I’m just not pathetic enough to get into an argument with you over nothing…”

“Oh and I am pathetic is that what you’re saying?!”

Abbey simply shrugs and turns back to Lucy once more, but Natalie doesn’t give up. She begins to follow them, shouting louder as her anger builds and she becomes more determined to frighten Abbey, or at least provoke a reaction.

“Everybody knows about you, you know? About your freak show of a family… The teachers were talking about it before you even came here!” Abbey’s pace slows to a stop as she feels her face redden and an overwhelming anger rush through her. She knows she should rise above it and not be drawn in by Natalie’s games, but her patience is severely limited.

“What the fuck did you say?” She snaps.

“Come on let’s just get out of here…” Lucy’s voice momentarily pulls Abbey out of her rage, bringing her back into focus and she takes a long deep breath, trying her hardest to remain calm. ‘She’s not worth it, she’s not worth it’ – she repeats the phrase over and over in her head with every step she takes but Natalie follows behind, reeling from her reaction and goading her even further.

“You heard! It’s a running joke! How your Mum had a nervous breakdown. Who could blame her having you as a daughter? That would drive anyone crazy…”

Abbey keeps her head lowered and puts all her strength and self-control into placing one foot in front of the other. Her pulse has quickened, she can feel her breathing deepen and her fists clench tightly at her sides, as Lucy glances worryingly at her every few seconds. They are almost at the gate, almost off the school grounds, when Natalie shouts out five words that make Abbey stop dead in her tracks.

“No wonder he killed himself…”

It only takes a fraction of a second for the words to register before the pain hits Abbey like a lightning bolt through the stomach. Her blood runs cold and all the anger that was bubbling away beneath the surface moments ago suddenly explodes. Her frustration and her guilt, the heartache of losing Ryan and the anger towards her family… it all completely overwhelms her and she finally lets go. With no conscious thought about what she is doing or of the potential consequences, Abbey runs at Natalie, channelling all her fury as she swings her arm back and punches her hard across the face. As she falls to the floor Abbey doesn’t hesitate, taking advantage of her shocked reaction by quickly striking her again. It takes a moment for Natalie to regain her composure, but when Abbey goes to hit her for a third time, she is ready, and the two of them begin fighting viciously in a tangled heap on the floor, spitting, scratching and lashing out as a crowd of students gather around them, cheering, and chanting loudly.

A
bbey sits perfectly still and stares at a fixed point on the wall, as she waits patiently for Principal Grant to finish reading through Mrs Clarkson’s account of what happened at lunch. She is the unlucky teacher that had come across the fight between Abbey and Natalie and had courageously fought her way through the chanting crowds to separate them, only to have to send another pupil for help when she failed to force them apart.