Bad Will. Bad,
bad
Will.
As she followed him into the forest and stood there with her hands on her hips, he wanted to reach over and hug her. “Dani, please, for the last time, you need to leave.”
“Give me one good reason.” She held up one elegant finger. “One.”
He made a face, opened his mouth. She had a point ⦠without knowing it. He couldn't rightly explain without blowing his cover. And without blowing his cover, he couldn't get her to leave.
Besides, what if she was caught hiking out?
Maybe it would be better if he just ⦠hung around or vice versa.
“Promise to listen to me? And to obey me if I tell you to do something?”
She looked at him as if he had turned purple and spoken Russian.
“I know the words
you're not the boss of me
sound childish ⦠but
you're not the boss of me
.” She turned to her new K-9, sitting beside her and eyeing Will like a moldy sirloin. “C'mon, Kirby.”
This time he really did stop her. He put all two hundred pounds between her and her exit and wore a face he hadn't used for quite some time. “You're not going anywhere without me, Dani,” he said slowly and dangerously. “And I
am
the boss of you, starting right now.”
She backed away, tilted her head. “Now you're freaking me out.”
“Good. Please take me very seriously. I know things you don't, and suffice it to say that they are part of my job. So when I say things like, âgo home,' which I realize you won't, trust that they are for your own good. Because I am your friend.”
She swallowed, and suddenly he realized that he didn't want to be her friend. Not at all. In fact, he'd spent the entire morning lying to himself when he said it felt great to be trusted, that the feelings of honor she dredged up were enough.
He wanted more. Now that he'd gotten a taste of what it meant to be around her smile, her laughter, even her confused anger, he wanted more.
Lord, help me be Your man
. He closed his eyes against the image of reaching out and crushing her to his chest, of silencing her arguments with a kiss.
Just friends.
“Will, I know you're my friend,” Dani said haltingly, as if in sync with his thoughts. “But you're sort of scaring me.” He felt her take a step toward him.
Too close. He smelled her soft perfume, the kind that lingers after a shower, and could nearly feel her breath on his cheek. He opened his eyes. She stood only a foot away, so close that if he leaned forward a little â¦
He turned away, blew out a breath. “I'm sorry. I'm not trying to scare you.”
She touched his arm, and he nearly jumped right through his BDUs. “Let's just find this girl, okay?”
He nodded. Find the girl, don't stop, fly to Washington.
And pick up his next set of lies.
He slung his gun over his shoulder as he followed her and Kirby through the forest, nearly shaking with frustration. How was he ever supposed to figure out how to walk God's way when He kept throwing Dani in his path?
Only what if she was part of the answer?
They walked in silence, trailing Kirby who wound a path over logs and downed timber and branches. Birds chirruped and occasionally startled into the sky. Will's skin raised goose-flesh. This felt worse than being in Iraq, waiting for insurgents to mow him down.
“Where did you get the dog?”
“My friend Kelly,” she said and glanced at him. She looked worried. “You going to tell me why you're going off the charts here?”
“No.”
She licked her lips, sighed, turned back to watching her dog. “So, you figured the same thing Sarah and I did.”
“That anyone who was lost would head toward habitation? Yes. Like I said, I'm going to systematically search the cabins here on the south end of the lake. My gut says she's here.”
“Mine too.” She gave a faint smile.
He hated how her smile made his heart leap. “How's Missy?”
“She's good. Sarah's watching out for her.”
“Sarah's a good friend.”
Dani nodded. “Only she doesn't try and tell me what to do.”
He cringed. Yeah, well, Sarah didn't have to keep Dani alive, did she? “Sorry. Like I said, I didn't mean to scare you.”
“You'd scare Jack the Ripper in that getup.”
He scowled, looked at his clothes. Traditional BDUs, boots, and face paint. What was the deal?
“Just don't tell me that this little war thing you have going is a regular event.” She shot him a look. “Or are you going to be gone every weekend, playing terrorist in the woods?”
Every weekend? He couldn't help but smile. “Why? Wanna be the lady terrorist? You'd look good in green face paint.”
She sent him a mock glare. “No, Rambo, I'm just wondering if a gal wanted to see you, would she have to understand latitude and longitude and know how to read a map?”
He nearly winced at how accurate she was. He swallowed around a lump of guilt and tried to keep his smile. “Maybe a guy could come to your neck of the woods. Iowa?”
“Know how to drive a tractor? milk a cow?”
He grinned. “I could learn.”
She laughed, nodded. “I'll bet.”
They were coming up on another cabin, and Will grabbed her shoulder, pulling her back into the cover of the trees. “Call Kirby.”
She frowned at him but obeyed. Kirby bounded back and sat next to Dani.
“Stay here,” Will ordered.
He knew it looked way too suspicious for him to sneak away and peek into the cabin, but he wasn't going to let her walk into the open, as if waving her arms and yelling, “Shoot me!” He ignored the burn of her curious gaze on the back of his neck and quickly scouted the perimeter of the lot before approaching the building.
This cabin, much like the last one, had been boarded up for winter. He saw nothing but a couple of mice holes in the foundation. Which a seventeen-year-old girl wasn't going to squeeze through.
Please don't let me be wrong about this hunch
. He ran back to Dani, who was shaking her head. “All clear, tough guy?”
He ignored her. “She's not here. Let's keep going.”
They crossed the lot, worked their way down to the beach, and headed for the next cabin.
“I was only half kidding about the visiting thing,” Dani said, casting him a look.
He saw the vulnerability on her face, and like a punch, it hit him that she might ⦠like him too? Wow. He scrambled to find words. “Me too.”
A slow, sweet smile appeared on Dani's face. Like sunshine after a long, chilly day. “When you can get away from Moose Bend and your job, that is.”
His smile faded. “Yeah, right.” When he got away from Moose Bend, he'd have a new job in a new little town. Far, far away from Dani and Kentville, Iowa.
The sun hovered in the east, and sweat trickled down between Will's shoulder blades. The shoreline looked as if Bigfoot had tossed the forest in his wrath, and Will and Dani picked their way to the next cabin. “Be careful, Dani,” Will said as she climbed over a large broken birch. He saw it rock, and in his mind she'd already fallen and lay in a crumpled mess.
“Were you this bossy when you and Lew were hunting bad guys?”
Her question stopped him cold. “Who told you about Lew?”
She looked at him. “You did. A couple of days ago. You said he joined up with you.”
His heartbeat restarted slowly. Oh yeah. But this time it didn't have to hurt, if he was careful. “Yeah, Lew was my best friend. He and his wife, Bonnie, and I all hung out together in high school. He joined Ranger school when I did, and we served together.”
“You were a Ranger? I thought when you said you were a solider you meant regular army. I didn't expect Special Forces ⦠well, I mean, not really.”
It wasn't a question, and her voice held that little bit of awe he'd come to expect, but from her it felt like respect. Honest, friendly, no-strings-attached respect. He smiled into the warm feelings gathering in his heart.
Even though, no, he'd been more than a Ranger. A Green Beret.
But please don't ask, Dani, and I won't tell
.
“How did he die?” she asked softly. Thankfully, she didn't look at him.
“Lew died in a bombing of a refugee camp in Macedonia three years ago.”
She stopped, turned, and her face paled. “I'm sorry, Will. Were you there?”
He followed her as she resumed walking across the rocks, amazed that yes, this came easier. Except for the next part. “Yes.” What he didn't add was that sometimes he still awoke in the night, bathed in a cold sweat, breathing hard. “Lew died right in front of my eyes.”
Dani stopped again. “Poor Bonnie. Did they have kids?”
“Three little girls. The youngest was only eight months old.”
Grief flashed across her face. “That's horrible.” She stood there for a moment, the wind catching her hair, empathy in her eyes. “Good thing they have you.”
Right, he was a real comfort. He said nothing as she called to her K-9, pulled out a water bowl. “I need to water Kirby. Do you mind?”
Did he mind that she made a great target out here on the beach? He hooked her elbow, moved her closer to the rock. “Nope.”
He scanned the shoreline as Kirby drank. No movement, not a glint of light off a gun barrel. Still, his reflexes were on full alert.
The Hayatas were out there; he felt it in the tiny raised hairs on his neck.
“I could never marry a military man.” Dani braced a hand on a huge boulder, ran a handkerchief around her neck. “So much to lose. I hate good-byes. I was never good at them. I couldn't imagine telling my man good-bye, thinking it might be for the last time.”
He kept his expression stoic, scanning the rocky shoreline for any hint of disturbance, but he felt as if she'd just taken out a machete and chopped him off at the knees
. “I could never marry a military man.”
Well, he wasn't exactly in the military, but his job wasn't much betterâin fact, maybe worse. It wasn't like he came home for leave.
“So, has Lew's wife gotten remarried?”
Dani could earn master markswoman with the accuracy of her questions today. He swallowed. “Is the dog nearly finished?”
“Yeah.” She leaned down, picked up the bowl, shook it out.
“Ready?”
She just stared at him as he moved away. Fine, let her be mad. Some things were personal. Hadn't he told her enough?
Only she'd told him her most private nightmares.
And he'd let her believe he was a reporter.
Somehow it didn't feel quite equal.
“Bonnie's getting married this weekend,” he said softly as he climbed a large boulder.
Dani ran to catch up to him. “That's great, right?”
He said nothing.
She caught his arm, tugged. “Isn't that great?”
He couldn't look at her, studied his boots instead. “Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I haven't met the guy.”
Silence.
He closed his eyes, seeing the disappointment in hers. Yes, his best friend's widow and he didn't even know if the guy she was marrying was a scumbag or a saint.
Paul Whoever had better be a saint.
But what was Will going to do about it when he'd walked out of her life without so much as a forwarding address?
“It hurts that bad, huh?” Dani whispered.
He opened his eyes, feeling her words hit him square in the chest. Something about the softness in her eyes, the concern in her expression ⦠for a second he thought he might ⦠well, it hurt more than she could ever know.
Although, maybe she
did
know. Maybe she knew better than anyone. She'd watched her sister die in her arms, just like Lew had died in his. Slowly, Will nodded, realizing that he stood out in the open, not only a sitting target for Hayata but with his heart now on the outside of his body.
Dani stepped closer, put her arms around him, and brought his head down to her shoulder. “I'm so, so sorry, Will.”
She was ⦠hugging him? He heard his breath catch, felt himself weaken. For probably the first time ever in his life, he didn't take it as an invitation. In fact, as he put his arm around herâawkwardly because he still held his gunâhe only wanted to hold her close. To let her gentleness, her friendship balm those still-ragged wounds. He could almost hear her kindness chipping at his walls when he buried his face into her neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, clearing them from a sudden rush of heat. Good grief, he felt like an idiot.
Or, perhaps, just a man who hurt right down to his soul.
Danger sirens blared in his mind as he took a deep breath and pulled away. How had he let Dani this far into his life? into his heart? They were past being just friends, hurtling in a direction he'd never been before, never even scouted. This relationship had blindsided him, and he hadn't a clue at the mission objective, the tactics. Nor any words whatsoever. Nothing but slightly moist eyes and a dazed half smile.
And Dani staring up at him, gentleness in her eyes, his green greasepaint on her face. She touched his cheek. “You know, you should just call Bonnie and tell her that you miss him too. I promise, it'll be okay. I'm sure that if Lew was such a great friend, his wife was a champ too.”
Will nodded and turned away before she could see the shame on his face.
DANI CROUCHED IN the trees outside the clearing, checking her cell-phone signal while Will did his little Rambo routine. She had been only half kidding about his playing war games every weekend. She'd heard stories of men who played soldier in the woods with paint guns and other high-tech devices. Thanks, but that felt too close to the real thing.
She raised her cell phone, turned it. No signal. She sighed and scratched Kirby's fur to encourage him to stay. They'd stopped for lunch a few hours ago, after sneaking up on another cabin as if it might jump them. She figured they had one more hour before she had to go back to the motel.