Enlightened (Love and Light Series) (29 page)

Loti collapsed face down on the bed, blood and all. She tucked her hands under her chest.
Why did getting close to someone always hurt so muc
h? And she, like an idiot, embraced it. With her family, with her boyfriends, her husband. With Wolf. She was a masochistic optimist—
what’s the definition of crazy
?
Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Flopping her head to the side, she watched Wolf step through the door, her eyes blank. Now he’d apologize, hold her, make love to her. She stuck out her tongue, “Thpppptt” and turned her head the other way, studying the cave wall. This was downright abusive. He oscillated, push back or pull close? She didn’t care anymore.

Not true.

“Argh.” She buried her face in the covers. “How do we live with this? I can’t even be alone in my head.” She shoved herself away from the bed. And under it all, under their thoughts and feelings, was Wolf’s almost constant blood-lust. They got maybe an hour or so of relative peace before it heated up, driving them both nutty.

“Do it already.” She sat back on her heels, one spent hand braced on a thigh, the other holding her forehead. At his mental stiffening, she lashed out. “No. Enough,” she commanded. “No more.” She tittered off-kilter.
It hurts ‘cause you’re fighting it.
Inhaling, she opened her legs in a v-straddle, and leaned forward onto her elbows. Closing her eyes, she used her breath to soften the tense muscles, sinking little by little between her spread legs until her chest rested on the bed, elbows bent like goal posts.

The bed creaked and shifted. Wolf’s hand was like a personal furnace on her back. Little by little, she lengthened and elevated her spine, pulling deep abdominals toward her tailbone for support. Before she was fully upright, Wolf urged her onto her back with his hands and his unfettered needs claimed them both.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A moment of peace. Loti unclipped the quick-connects that held her Thermarest sleeping pad to her backpack. Not a perfect solution, but it would do. She stretched her arms overhead, feeling surprisingly good. The shower helped, and, she suspected, so had the herbal tincture that tasted like mold and peppermint. She sucked her tongue, wrinkling her nose.
Wonder why she put tea tree oil in it?
Or was that eucalyptus?
Nasty
. Wolf was passed out in bed, sleeping fitfully. One more day and night and this would all be over. She pulled a blue, fleece v-neck over her head, snaking her arms through the sleeves and hooking her thumbs in the little holes at the cuffs.

She shook the pixie glass, sniffing it.
Nice
. Tucking the pad under one arm, she trotted to the front door and into the foyer that was black with just a smudge of the muted light from the living room. She closed the door behind her, even though she knew the angle of the stairs and placement of the door prevented sunlight from reaching into the lair. Hurrying, she paused at the trap door, squinting to see the spring latch Wolf showed her earlier. Annoyed with the dark, she felt with one hand, her fingers catching in the gap.
Ah
. She pulled hard and the trap door swung up, the sunlight blinding her. She squeezed her eyes against it, red blobs melting and reforming behind her eyelids. She was a mole emerging from her tunnel at the wrong time of day, but the sun felt so good on her face.

Not in a hurry, she opened her eyes to a clear blue sky guarded by a network of bare branches. They were deep in the mountain forest. Loti grabbed the edge of the door frame to hoist herself up and out into the early morning light.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Inhaling, her breath whispered like the ocean in a conch shell. Her arms reached skyward, her head dipping back and her long hair brushing the tops of her buttocks. She arched her back and opened her arms in languid circles, lifting her heart center higher. Exhaling, her arms brushed by her hips as she sank her torso toward her bent knee like she was moving through water. She flowed through her yoga practice in silence for long minutes. Morning bird calls blended with the cool breezes and the whoosh of her breath. She inhaled gratitude for this moment, the now. She exhaled the judgment and criticism of herself, of Wolf, that welled up. The air leaving her lungs shook with the heaviness and left her lighter, more open, and more grounded. Pausing with emptiness, savoring the stillness, tingles broke out all over her body. A blissful smile spread across her tranquil features. By the time she rested on her back in final relaxation, she felt a whole hell of a lot better.

There you are.

Her eyes flew open. It was
that
voice from the shower. She scrambled to her feet, grabbing her pad and ran for the trap door. Had she wandered beyond the wards? She hadn’t gone that far, just to the rock outcropping where there was a soft bed of moss. She should have stayed under the oak, but she had opted for the patch of unimpeded sunlight. Holding her breath, she searched for the handle buried under the moss.
Where was it? There.
She heaved with all her might.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Once inside the lair with doors locked behind her, she dropped to her knees, heart slamming. Anxiety and fear bunched in her belly. What had she done? Wolf warned her to stay inside, and if she had to go up, not to go too far. She thought he said the outcropping was the boundary; maybe she misunderstood. C
alm down
.
Breathe
. She sucked a deep lung full of air held it for the count of four before letting it whoosh out all at once. When she could breathe, she reached out with that sixth sense, listening for the voice, patting around for the tell-tale magic. She would never forget the ominous and bleak energy that had touched her. She knew that it wasn’t
just
Patrick. It was something—or somebody—wrapped in Patrick’s energy, and she hoped her surrogate grandfather was still alive. She finished her mental scan, satisfied he wasn’t with her anymore.

Maybe she didn’t understand the limits or what she’d been feeling? Sitting on the floor, she leaned against the bottom of the breakfast counter, her head tilted against the wood paneling. When she closed her eyes, two crisscrossing pearlescent tubes of energy appeared. They intersected right in front of her, but when she opened her eyes to get a better look, they were gone. She closed her eyes, focused, and there they were again.

What were they? With a disorienting wrench, she was inside the tube, standing at an intersection. It arched around her, bathing her in the milky-pearl glow. A quiet thrumming emanated from the walls as she brushed her fingertips along it. She met a soft resistance that yielded as if she could push her fingers through, so she tried. The wall glopped and sucked as her hand worked its way deeper. The substance melded to her hand.

Loti?

Wolf?
But he was asleep.

I’m awake. Are you okay? Hey, open your eyes.

Disoriented, Loti opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her lips and tongue moved, and she felt the vibration of air over vocal chords, but no sound reached her ears. Closing her mouth, she pondered what to do. How had she gotten here? Where was here? Closing her eyes, a ghost of Wolf’s lair appeared, and as she relaxed into the focus, the image solidified. Wolf squatted in front of her body slumping against the base of the counter, her limbs loose and her face slack. She focused on her body, and with a painful gasp, sat up, struggling as if it was her first breath ever.

“You weren’t breathing, Loti,” Wolf’s eyes were wild. His blood-lust saturated her body, her arms darting around his neck as it faintly registered that she hadn’t felt his feelings in the tube. Now that he wasn’t fighting the urges, the anger was gone, and that was pure relief.

You scared me. What happened?
He breathed into her neck. His reaction to her smell hardened her nipples. He scooped her up and in three giant steps, had her in the bed.

“Wait,” she pulled away from him. “How are you awake? It’s morning.”

The skin crinkled around his eyes and mouth. “It’s night. I just woke up.”

Her jaw unhinged. “I just woke up and went outside in the sunshine. It’s morning.” The night sky full of twinkling stars laughed down at her. Wolf’s hungry eyes loomed close and she touched his clenched jaw. For one split second, she thought about stopping him as he crawled over her. She caught the clench of his lust as his biceps and the inside of her thighs twitched.

They lay in a sweaty heap, the stars winking down at them. Wolf’s warm tongue worked Loti’s neck.

What the hell happened to the day?

“Do you think you passed out?” A drop of worry hung on his voice.

She shook her head. “No, I went somewhere.” She told him about the energy intersection in his lair. He turned to his side, drawing the covers up over their hips as she rolled to face him. Palming the sweat off the back of his neck, he brushed his black hair forward over one shoulder.

“You don’t seem very concerned,” Loti said, running her fingers over his forearm.

He shrugged. “I think a lot of strange things are in store for us.”

“As if all this hasn’t already been strange?” Loti felt his forehead. “Your fever’s breaking. You don’t feel as hot.”

He grunted, grabbed her hand, and pressed the palm to his lips. The moment felt tenuous, like a soap bubble about to burst. She wanted to grab it, hold onto it, but instead she sighed, sinking into the pillow.

“Maybe you were there longer than you thought?” he told her palm.

“It felt like a minute.” She was emphatic. “Hardly time to orient myself.”

He kissed the tips of her fingers, one at time.

“There’s something else I need to tell you.” She told him about going topside and the voice.

Wolf stiffened and anger billowed like a shroud of fog into Loti’s mind.

“I’m sorry. I needed fresh air—to clear my head.” His lecture deflected, he slumped to his back, dropping her hand and rubbing his brow.

“I’m not angry with you.” His eyes screwed up like he had a headache. “I’m sick of being cooped up too. I had a life . . .” he trailed off, but it was in his thoughts.

“Before I came along,” Loti finished. She curled the hand he abandoned to the base of her throat. Abruptly, she sat up and snatched the extra pillow away from him, stuffing it behind her back. When she settled into sitting, she got very busy picking at a hangnail, the covers pooling around her waist. Wolf propped himself up on his elbow. His head fell back, the lines around his eyes blurring.

“So Patrick found you. I wonder how.” He got quiet, and Loti peeked at him. She followed his gaze to the tree branches swaying back and forth in a silent wind over the stars.

“I don’t think it’s Patrick, or at least not just him. I think there’s someone else behind this, and I’m afraid they’ve killed him.” Her voice quivered as she spread her hands over her lap. “There’s no mark on me. He didn’t get to me that way.”

“I think he—or whoever it is—found you by your energy. It’s like a siren’s song . . . a lighthouse beacon calling everyone home.” His voice dropped to a murmur. “Here’s shelter. Here’s everything you need.” When his eyes darted toward her, she cast wet eyes down.

“How he penetrated the wards,” Wolf shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Fingers still picking at each other in her lap, she dared a furtive glance out of the corner of her eye. His lopsided smile stilled her hands and her head. “We couldn’t hide from him forever.”

“What does he want?” Loti flopped her arms to her sides, fingers curled in exasperation.

Wolf sat up onto one hip, the duvet slipping off revealing his mood. She let her gaze linger, wondering if she could risk . . . one more thing. He grinned like a teenage boy, all proud and uncertain.

She granted him a slow smile, full of promises, as he brushed questioning fingertips over her bare nipple. When Loti sucked in a breath, he eased over her, his hands on either side of her hips and feather kissed her bottom lip. Unexpected shyness burned her cheeks as she bit the lip he kissed. She hoped and hoped and hoped. He stopped her thoughts with a humble, supplicant’s kiss, like he thought she had the power to grant him something he wanted. She’d give him whatever he wanted just so he’d kiss her like that again. Slipping a hand to the nape of his neck, she kissed him back, offering him everything she had. Eager hands slid her hips under him.