Authors: Diana Quincy
Chapter Six
Rand directed his mount off Queen’s Road and through the high gates leading to the King Street Pensioners’ Hospital, a home for elderly and injured soldiers. Some of his men lived here now and he was of a mind to check in on them.
Riding up to the faded brick building, he alighted and handed the reins to a groom before striding toward the entrance and into the generous vestibule. Walking across clean-swept marble floors, he made his way to the library where his men could often be found. He scanned the space where older residents, veterans of the war in the colonies, and younger soldiers from the Peninsular Wars, sat talking, smoking, playing cards, or reading. Some were missing limbs or bore other signs of debilitating permanent injuries.
Unable to spot his men, he was directed out to the courtyard where he found more than a dozen pensioners, old and young alike, gathered in a circle. Even from a distance, instead of the usual murmur of masculine voices, he heard a familiar lilting feminine laugh rise from the center of the group.
His pulse quickened. “What the devil is Kat doing here?” he said aloud to no one in particular.
“I told her not to come, but she insisted.”
He spun around to find Toby, wearing a relatively muted burgundy tailcoat over a green-and-white striped waistcoat, leaning against a tall marble column. “You brought Lady Katherine here? What were you thinking?”
Toby shrugged. “Once Kat sets her mind to something, she is difficult to deter.”
“This is no place for a gentlewoman.” He looked back at the circle of pensioners. “How does she even know of this place?”
“The ladies were making donation baskets for the pensioners and when she learned I planned to deliver them in person, she insisted upon coming along.”
“For what purpose?” This bleak environment, filled with graphic visual reminders of the vagaries of war, was no place for a maiden.
“To do what the
ton
’s incomparable excels at—to regale them with her wit, charm, and beauty, to flirt and entertain.” Toby pushed off the column and came to stand next to Rand. “To take their minds off their troubles for a little while. At the moment, she is reading to them.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “I trust you will not be so foolish as to bring her here again.”
“I doubt I could stop my cousin. This is her sixth or seventh visit. I accompany her to ensure she comes to no harm.”
Muttering a few foul words, Rand edged closer to the group, which afforded him a view of the lady in question. Kitty sat on a stool wearing a soft blue day dress that brought out the deep sapphire color of her eyes. She read in an animated voice punctured by the occasional laughing smile. The pensioners surrounding her listened with rapt attention, obviously as spellbound by her undeniable aura as the high-born denizens of the
ton
. Kitty had surprised him again. Instead of accepting one of the numerous invitations she must surely receive, the reigning toast chose to pass the afternoon in decidedly unglamorous environs visiting wounded soldiers.
Something akin to pain shifted in his chest. He hadn’t laid eyes on Kitty since their chance meeting in the park three days ago. He still had her canine—the animal had resisted his footman’s attempt to return her—but once he reunited Vera with her mistress, he intended to cease all further contact with Kitty. The undeniable pull between them was too potent and too dangerous to her future for him to risk doing otherwise. Their encounter in Kensington Park demonstrated he remained as susceptible to her charms as he’d ever been. Neither time nor distance had altered the attraction. She was his sun, and when he was in her sphere, he could not resist her life-sustaining vitality.
When the story came to an end, she closed the book with a decisive snap and—appearing in no great hurry to escape the dreary surroundings—continued chatting with the soldiers, demonstrating her mastery of light flirtation.
“May I impose upon you,” Toby said to Rand “to stay with her for a few minutes while I dash up to the ward and look in on an old friend?”
Devil take it. “Be quick about it. I have a pressing engagement and must depart soon.” A lie, but one that would mercifully curtail his time in Kitty’s presence. Soon after Toby’s defection, the pensioners were called in for tea, leaving Rand with no choice but to spend a few minutes with her until her cousin’s return.
“I didn’t anticipate seeing you here,” she said coolly as he approached her. “You’ve been decidedly absent of late.”
“Your cousin has gone up to visit a friend. He asked me to look after you until his return.”
“Shall we walk then?” Not waiting for an answer, she turned and strolled in the direction of the gardens.
He followed. “It isn’t wise, you know, for a young, gently-bred lady to visit a pensioners’ home.”
“I should think you of all people would deem it proper to thank these men for their service.”
“Yes, well, you should be shielded from unpleasantness.”
“There is much unpleasantness from which I have not been shielded,” she said. “This is a trifle in comparison.”
A less than subtle reference to his abandonment of her. The bitter irony of his life was that going to war to win her had created the very reason they must now remain apart. They moved beyond a hedgerow, well into the gardens. Once they were out of the sight of others, she came to an abrupt stop.
“Are we ever going to discuss it?” She crossed her arms under her bosom, the soft flesh he’d caressed not so long ago. “Or is it your custom to paw a lady and then go about your business?”
He stiffened. “Is it an apology you desire? I offer it most profoundly then.”
Her blue eyes sparked. “I don’t want an apology and you know it. You return after many years, proceed to take liberties I have allowed no other man, and now you intend to proceed as though nothing occurred between us?”
Liberties she’d allowed no other man? Satisfaction swelled in him even though it shouldn’t have. “You are betrothed to another man.” He forced the words out through paralyzed lungs. “By all accounts, Sinclair is decent and can be expected to treat you well. Honor dictates that I withdraw, despite my appalling lapse in Kensington.”
She looked stricken. “Laurie is a good man, the best in fact. But I would do him a grave disservice by marrying him when my heart doesn’t belong to him.”
Breath whooshed out of him. She didn’t love Sinclair? “You are speaking without a care for your future. I am not the same man who left you.”
She stepped closer, showering him with the scent of violets, and her voice trembled with uncertainty. “I should hate you. I think a part of me does, but it is of no use.” Her eyes filled. “How can I wed Laurie when he is not the man I love?”
He couldn’t bear being this close and not touching her. He turned to go. “We should return.”
She gripped his arm. “Why do you keep leaving me?” She slid her hand down his arm to interlock her pale, tapered fingers with his. “Am I nothing to you?”
Heat rushed through him at the feel of her soft, delicate hand in his clumsy large one. His meager defenses crumbled. What a poor soldier he was in the battle to save Kitty’s future. “You are everything.”
He pulled her tight into his embrace and buried his face in the fragile turn of her pale neck, soaking up her scent. She sighed, melting into him when his lips sought hers, finding them soft and willing. He kissed her deeply, plunging his tongue into the wet cavern of her mouth with the full force of his passion for her. He explored the satiny softness of her cheek, the sweet womanly taste of her tongue, and immersed himself in the heaven of her feminine essence. Her breasts flattened against his chest, her hips pushing up into him. His arousal swelled hard and heavy against her.
“Forgive me,” he said softly, trailing kisses down her neck, suddenly desperate for her to accept his apology. He could not offer her a lifetime, but she did deserve this much. “I was wrong to leave and never send word. You are the last person in Christendom that I would willingly hurt.”
“I’ll cry off,” she said, breathless. “And then we can be together.”
The words snapped him back to the reality of their situation and his insides went cold. He could never marry her. He couldn’t bear it if she were to witness one of his episodes. She’d likely regard him with a combination of pity, fear, and disgust. It was better that she despise him. He released her and pulled back in one abrupt motion. “You misunderstand.”
“But you just apologized—” Her pink cheeks were luminous against her porcelain complexion, the vivid shade of her eyes glittered in the afternoon sun.
“I do regret my treatment of you,” he said stiffly. “However, I don’t intend to marry anyone. Ever.”
Kitty’s delicate brows drew together. “What is wrong with you? Why do you insist on denying what is between us?”
To save you from me.
He turned to go, walking out of the garden—and away from her—at a fast clip. “Toby will be looking for us. It is for the best to leave things as they are.”
She hastened beside him, keeping up with his strident pace despite her petite stature and much shorter legs. “In the same way leaving me to go fight your war was for the best? I suppose you believe abandoning your music is also for the best.”
“Things in the past cannot be changed.” He stared straight ahead, not daring to look at her. “It is best we move on.”
“Best for whom, I wonder.”
Emerging from the gardens, it relieved him to see Toby crossing the lawn, heading in their direction. “Ah, here’s Toby now.”
“Coward,” she muttered under her breath.
“Did you enjoy your walk in the gardens?” Toby asked upon reaching them.
“Yes, we had the most delightful time,” Kitty said brightly. “I should like to repeat the experience soon.”
Rand firmed his jaw. “Now that your cousin is returned, I shall take my leave.”
“But there is something of critical importance that we must discuss,” she called after him.
His heart stopped and he turned back to see her amused expression. “I can’t think of what that might be.”
“There is the matter of Vera, of course.”
His pulse returned to almost normal. “Your canine.”
“Yes. Do you mean to keep her?”
“My footman attempted to return her, but it seems she’s grown accustomed to sleeping next to my bed. I trip over her every time I rise at night.”
She tilted her head in contemplation. “Do you awaken often in the night hours?”
Damnation. “Not often,” he lied. “I’ll have the animal brought to you.”
“Perhaps the parting will go easier on Vera if you deliver her yourself,” she said with false innocence. “Mother and I receive on Wednesday afternoons. Will you come and bring her then?”
“You might as well acquiesce,” Toby said. “Kat is decidedly hard-headed when it comes to getting what she desires.”
He forced a response through his tight jaw. “Of course.”
“Brilliant.” She flashed a radiant smile that he felt down to his toes. “I shall look forward it.”
Striding away, he scrubbed both hands down his face. The meaning of that smile was not lost on him. Kitty had just thrown down the gauntlet. She intended to fight for what she wanted and, Lord help them both, she still wanted him.
…
“This is madness.” Fanny shook her head with exasperation as she finished dressing Kat’s hair, readying her to receive callers for their Wednesday at-home. “How can you even contemplate any sort of courtship with the earl after what he’s done to you?”
Kat met her maid’s gaze in the mirror’s reflection. “It’s never really been finished between us. I have to see where this road takes me. If I don’t, I fear I will always regret it.”
Fanny scoffed. “It’ll take you to misery and ruin, mark my words.”
“I don’t believe Edward would hurt me on purpose. He was always a good man.” She’d given the matter a great deal of thought since their encounter at the veterans’ home. “He left because he wanted to make something of himself before we married. He was too honorable to run away to Gretna Green, even though I begged him to.” She ignored Fanny’s shocked inhale. “I don’t know why he didn’t come back for me after the war. There is something he isn’t telling me.”
“Maybe he has good reason for keeping his business to himself.” Fanny tugged a loose tendril into place.
“Ouch!” She rose to keep her hair out of Fanny’s grasp and turned to face her. “You of all people should understand why I must see this through. This time, if it doesn’t work, I shall know it wasn’t meant to be.”
They were interrupted by a knock on the door and a summons from her mother because their first callers had arrived. Kat stifled pangs of guilt when she saw the ever-attentive Laurie was among the first arrivals. Dear, sweet Laurie. Crying off would hurt him deeply, but she truly believed he wouldn’t want to wed her once he discovered her heart didn’t fully belong to him. He deserved a wife who would put his happiness above all others.
The at-home came to an end without Edward making an appearance. Climbing the stairs to her bed chamber, she wasn’t entirely surprised. He’d made it quite clear that he wished to avoid her, although their recent embraces proved he wasn’t unmoved by her. Voices sounded down below in the foyer followed by Vera’s joyful bark. She turned on the stairs and looked down to where Edward stood with a frolicking Vera on a leash. He looked up at her, those dark eyes taking her in.
“Lord Randolph, this is a surprise.” Her mother’s tone was polite, but wary. As an earl, Edward was now deserving of the respect her parents had denied him all those years ago. He bowed low, showing her deference as Kat’s mother. “My lady.”
“Will you join us for refreshment?” Lady Nugent politely suggested, the hesitation in her tone easing. Their at-home having concluded, it would be rude for the earl to accept her invitation, and so he did not.