Enforcer: Book Four (Princes of Prophecy) (4 page)

Nancy tells him she has the door, laughing. I give her a finger wave and she laughs more. “Have her home for breakfast!” she yells as he’s walking to the side of the house. He lives two streets over and is heading through the yards to get there.

“Hey!” She’s already closed the door and doesn’t pay me any attention. He slaps my ass and I slap his. “You don’t get to touch my ass unless you...” I stop thinking maybe he does want me to touch his ass.

“I wouldn’t finish that until we talk,” he says slapping me again.

“Stop fuckin’ slapping me! I can walk you know!”

“I am not putting you down until we are at my house where we can talk without kids, ‘rents, or Brothers.”

“Whatever.”

At his house he goes around to the back and sits me on a lounge chair up on the deck. This is fine until he tries to sit behind me and has his hands on my shoulders. I jump up and look at him. “That isn’t going to work for me.”

“Then sit facing me, but fuckin’ sit,” he growls at me and I sit.

He slides the top of his table back and reaches in pulling out two beers. “That’s a cool table. I want one.”

“I’ll make you a fuckin’ table if you stop with all the fuckin’ stall tactics.”

I look at him. He’s mad? “Why are you pissed? I had to work. It’s not like I can take a day off to sit around chatting.”

“You’re from Little Brothers, of course you can take a day off. For you this talk has been a couple of days, for me it’s been a couple of fuckin’ months.”

He’s right, but I was fuckin’ drunk. “It’s not like I knew. You should have said something sooner.”

He takes a deep breath. “You’re right, I should have. So now this is me telling you
again
that I left when you started showing interest in me. Tiny was ready to rip my head off. You were too young and he wasn’t ready to let you go. You’re not too young anymore and I’m fuckin’ tired of waiting.”

He’s tired of waiting? I was too young? He left because of me? “I made you leave?”

“No. I did. I knew you were too young, but I wanted you. Tiny wasn’t letting anyone near you until you were old enough to make the decision yourself. I left before I did anything that would get me killed. When Prez put out the call and you were on the list, I followed you here. I wasn’t taking an HS job that you were on and didn’t want Family, so I opened the garage and run Transport and the Nomads.”

“You followed me?” Why the fuck do I feel like I’m a puppet here?

He looks at me like I’m slow. Probably because I’m talking like I’m slow. “Yeah, Princess. I followed you here. When you got taken, I about lost my fuckin’ mind. The way Taylor was acting I thought you two were together and a no contact order came down making my wait longer.”

“Fuckin’ Princess? I don’t like that, and me and Taylor are like brother and sister. We both have the same problem and tried to work them out together. You saw how that worked out.” I look away thinking he followed me here. He wanted me before he left. I was seventeen.

“He told me.” He turns my head toward him. “You have some shit to work through. I needed you to know so when you’re clear of it you get why I’m here.”

I say that sentence over again in my head. “So this is what, a warning?”

He laughs. “No babe. It’s me telling you that I’m interested and waiting for you to be ready.”

“What if I’m ready now?” What the fuck am I saying? I don’t really like the babe, but leave it alone.

He smiles. “We both know that isn’t true. Your reaction to sitting with me proves that point.”

“It isn’t sitting with you. It’s you behind me. Anything behind me.” Fuck. My eyes are burning.

“Tell me. I want
us
. Trust me to be here for you tomorrow.”

I look away. He’s waiting for me to be ready. He’s waited since I was seventeen. What the fuck did he see in me at seventeen? I was a smart mouthed kid. “That’s how the gang took me.”

He’s quiet for a minute. I look at him wondering if he still wants to wait for me. Since that day, no one will touch me. “You flashback if someone comes from behind?” His voice is low.

I move my hair and look away. “No. Well, no one has ever done it before. I just have nightmares. That was the first time it happened and I lost it.”

“Until me. You moved away, but you didn’t lose it. You stayed right with me and your gun stayed holstered. What was different with the pussy at the range?”

Thinking about that scares me. I never expected that reaction. Nothing registered until he put his hand on mine. “I don’t know. It was the only time it ever happened. I could have shot him and I don’t think I would have remembered. I don’t know why I didn’t pull my gun on you. I knew it was you maybe. Taylor is the only one not afraid to touch me.” I don’t want to do this now. I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. I just want it to be gone.

He watches me. “Taylor is the only person that touches you?” He isn’t mad, but he’s talking softly.

“Yeah. Eliza sometimes hugs me, but she moves away like I’ll break or something. No one but Nancy and Tiny touch me, and here only Taylor will touch my arm or shoulder. Just the regular Brother shit. Even Alex doesn’t hug me.” Fuckin’ tears. I wipe my face and he lifts me up. “What the fuck?”

“Settle down you know I’m not going to hurt you.” He sits me on his lap so my legs are hanging over the side of the chair and pulls my head to his chest. “I hardly ever see you cry. When you cry you need someone to hold you; since Nancy and Tiny aren’t here, I’ll do it.”

I fuckin’ cry. Sonofabitch.

I open my eyes and smile, I’ll be sore as hell, but I’ll be smiling. Moving my arm off her isn’t going to happen so I turn my wrist and look at the time. It’s just past six. I’m not waking her up yet. She fell asleep crying and no one touches her. When she said it I didn’t get it. Thinking about it, I realized people touch me all day long. Brothers shaking hands or slapping my back, Alex hugging me, Trapper taking my arm – but no one touches her. That’s got to be lonely as fuck. That’s when I decided she wasn’t going home. She slept in my arms and only woke once crying out. I tightened my arms and she settled. I’ve had enough waiting, it’s time and she needs to see she’s mine. I’ll give her the time to get her head straight, but it will be with my hands on her. The Brothers took the no contact order too fuckin’ far. 

With a plan starting, I smile. She isn’t going to feel alone anymore. First on my list is Patches then Lily.

She moves and I kiss her head. “Shit!”

I smile. “Not what I was hoping for, but you didn’t pull your gun so I’m good.”

She laughs and I tighten my arms. “My gun isn’t on me and I don’t think I’d shoot you.” She pushes herself up and looks at me. “I slept all night. I only had one beer right?”

“Yeah.” Does that mean she doesn’t sleep unless she’s drunk?

I get a funny look, but she doesn’t say anything. “You want to clean up before we go for breakfast?”

“Oh fuck!” She jumps up.

“What’s wrong?”

“The fuckin’ ‘rents are at my house.”

I laugh and it pisses her off. “You’re not seventeen anymore and if Tiny had a problem with it I wouldn’t be here.” She smiles. “Go clean up and I’ll take you home.”

She starts walking. “I know my way.”

“If you’re going to get shit, it will be with me right there.”

She stops and looks at me. “You just said Tiny would have been here.”

“I can guarantee that’s Nancy’s doing. You aren’t facing him alone and we didn’t do anything for you to get shit over.”

She walks in and I stand up. Shit. I like the idea of doing anything that would cause her to get shit over if my dick had any say here. I think about her losing it at the range. She beat the fuck out of the pussy and doesn’t remember. If I wasn’t there she would have shot him. I wanted to shoot him. I don’t think it would have bothered me so much if she didn’t have tears running down her face or if she would have made a sound. She was silent the whole time. There’s nothing good in that silence. I let it go and walk in without the hard-on. In the kitchen I grab a towel and wash my face then get the coffee going.

When she comes in I hand her a coffee. She looks at it and smiles. “You know my coffee.”

“Yeah.” She’d be surprised what I know about her.

She sits at the table so I do. “My gun?”

“Under the chair cushion. I wasn’t taking chances of you waking up and shooting me.”

She smiles. “Thanks. I slept all night.” She says it with awe in her voice. Fuck.

“You cried out once but went right back to sleep.” I can see that bothers her, but have no idea what to say so I leave it alone. “What time are you off?”

She makes a face. “I have the military group tonight. It’s the first one.” She shrugs.

“Come here after.”

Her eyes narrow. “Ordering me around doesn’t work for me.”

I want to laugh, but keep a straight face. Ordering her works fine she just doesn’t know it. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’m with Alex and his dogs later, but I’ll be home before you. Come have a beer with me when you’re done. If you’re hungry, I’ll feed you.”

Her eyes soften. “Okay. Maybe I’ll sleep better tonight too.” Again the sleep thing.

“Are your dreams the flashback?”

She looks away, but I see that haunted look in her eyes. “No. They’re Eliza.” Eliza? “She went through shit and I got the pictures stuck in my head. It was fuckin’ brutal.”

She’s a reader? “You got pictures?”

She looks at me. “Dakota was giving them to Prez, I guess they hit me too. It’s never happened before except for Jeremy, but I don’t get shit like they do.”

That’s a fuckin’ relief. “Your dreams are about what happened to Eliza from the pictures and your flashback was you?”

“I guess. It’s too early for this shit I need to get home.” She’s ready to bolt.

I stand up with her and take her cup. She walks out the back door with me following. Lifting the cushion, she picks up the guns and hands me mine. I hold her hand wanting to touch her. “I’m asking so I understand. I get that you don’t and it’s not easy. I’m not trying to hurt you. I want to understand enough to help.”

She nods. “It’s been a long time of not understanding and just living with the nightmares. Now I have fuckin’ reactions that scare the shit out of me. I don’t have answers. I’ve been afraid to ask the questions.” Her honesty floors me.

“Ask them knowing I’m here and willing to work that with you.”

She stops and looks at me. A good thirty seconds pass and she nods then starts walking. I wish I was Dakota right now.

At her house, Tiny growls at me. I take the coffee Nancy’s holding out and follow him to the back deck. “She’s got shit to deal with and doesn’t need you on top of that.”

I wait to make sure he’s done. “You know you and Nancy are the only two that have touched her since she was raped?” He looks shocked. “No one puts a hand on her. Ever. I waited five fuckin’ years Tiny. I’m not fuckin’ it up and she’ll deal with her shit holding my fuckin’ hand. She slept for the first time without getting drunk. I’m still fuckin’ waiting, but this time she knows. If she can sleep or have a hand to hold, that’s what I’m doing. She’s too old for you to be shielding her anymore and I’m not a fuckin’ kid.”

“No one touches her? She gets drunk to sleep?”

“Alex doesn’t even hug her. Everyone giving her space isn’t fuckin’ helping her, and no, I didn’t know until she said it last night.”

“Fuck.”

“Don’t give her shit over this. She’s getting the help she needs starting today.”

He nods and I walk away. Inside Nancy smiles at me. “Thanks for giving me the time last night.” She nods. I put my hand on Sheila’s shoulder and kiss her head. “You’re good and I have to get to work. I have Trapper today and Alex later. I’ll see you when you get home.” When I hit the door I stop and look back. “Your gun is empty.” She nods smiling. She didn’t miss that. She doesn't miss much.

I pick up Trapper and stop at Dunkin’ for breakfast. We do this every week, and every week I wish he was my dad. He’s smart, funny and knows by the sound of your voice when shit is happening. Today is no different. “What’s bothering you?”

“When babies don’t get held they have problems, is it the same for women? Does it make more problems for them if no one touches them, like never puts a hand on them?”

He bobs his head up and down. The move reminds me of Alex. “It does. All people are the same in that. If they had it, then lose it, I would think it’s worse. Your girl is loved by everyone Jax. Why are you worried over this?”

I’m not sure what he knows, but he doesn’t say shit to anyone so I tell him. “She was raped before you got here. No one touches her now. I think they were giving her space or didn’t want to scare her, but it’s been a long time and they still don’t touch her. She said it last night, so it must matter to her.”

He’s bobbing his head again. “Yes, I can see that it would matter. Women aren’t like men. We could go without ever thinking about it, but a woman would notice. Talk to Lily. I bet she’ll tell you that you need to be touching her as much as you can.” He’s smiling. “That wouldn’t be a hardship for you.”

Fuckin’ Trapper. I laugh. Not a problem for me. Now that she knows, I want my hands on her all the time. I want her to want them on her for different reasons, but I’ll take what I can get – for now. I need to talk to Lily. I text her asking if she has some time today.

I open the garage and Tim comes in just as I’m pushing the first bike out. I wasn’t sure about him at first, but he’s a good kid who just needs some direction. Taylor brought him to me last year and I’m happy to have him now. We get the ten out front and meet Trapper in the bays. He’s got a bike apart with everything laid out on his table. He’s a good mechanic, but I can’t figure out how he knows shit by sound then where he left each piece right down to clips and screws. He keeps it all separate, but knows right where he left them. “You good?” I smile waiting for it.

“That’s what they say,” he always says the same thing.

I look at my phone and see Lily’s text. She’ll call me at nine. Eliza and Sheila are her Security this morning and she’s in meetings in the afternoon. I have an hour. I pull in a Security bike and start changing the parts out. The new bullet proof skin works on the HS bikes and we started switching the regular Security last month. After this one I just have their spares. Running the garage has been good for me, but I’m not thrilled with the repetitive shit like this. Trapper and Tim help, but they get bored too. This is my week on the shit work so I take it like they do and just get it done.

At nine I call Lily, too impatient to wait for her call. After hellos I get right to it. “I finally talked to her last night and have some concerns. Sheila is never touched. Alex doesn’t even hug her. She drinks to sleep and her nightmares are of Eliza, but the flashback was the rape.”

She takes a minute then answers. “I’m glad you talked and it was a real conversation. She isn’t opening up to anyone but Taylor, and he’s got his own shit to get through.” I nod like she can see me. “I never noticed her not being touched. I’ll watch for that now. She’s always been Badass but the rape may have given people the idea that she doesn’t need their hands on her. It should be just the opposite. Simple touch would give her reassurances that she’s still the same Sheila that everyone loves. This could be the reason she isn’t moving forward from the rape. From what Little Ben said, she was hit with a flashback. The noise from the range is crazy loud so someone coming from behind her, without warning, would scare the shit out of her.”

I’m waiting for the rest. “The nightmares are a little harder. Eliza’s story is hers to share. If Sheila told you about it still causing her nightmares I’m concerned, but I can’t go into those details. It’s been a long time for her to still have the nightmares and drinking to sleep will catch up with her. I’ll ask Dakota about the nightmares. Jeremy dulled memories for Aubrey, maybe Dakota can help with Sheila.”

“I can ask him when I see him today.”

“Okay. All of your concerns are valid Jax. Keep touching her and maybe it will spark a signal for everyone else. I’ll talk with Eliza and Jess to do the same. If you can get her to sleep without drinking do that. You talk to Dakota about the nightmares and I’ll talk to the therapist about the flashback. Just making them aware may give them enough to get something going for her. She’s unraveling right now and I don’t want to see her fall.”

“Yeah. Is there anything I need to stay away from or do besides touching her?”

“Keep talking to her and don’t come up behind her. Keep her from connecting that memory to you. This isn’t going to be easy for her, and pulling those memories forward in therapy may make it worse before it gets better. Watch that you aren’t giving her reason to see you when she’s scared. If you ever say I put her in a conversation with the word scared, I’ll deny it.”

I smile. “Thanks Lily.”

“Call if you have questions or need help. We all love Sheila, she’s been taking care of us forever, it’s nice to have her back for a change.”

I’m glad her girls are with her. “I will. Thanks.”

I sit thinking about what she said. She doesn't know about the no contact order and really, it’s not much more than I had, but it’s something and she’ll get word to the therapist. She doesn’t let shit slide. I think about Dakota. We’re together at the house with dogs today. I text him asking for a few minutes before the dogs. He answers right back. He’ll be there at quarter of. I call Patches and tell him what’s happening and ask what I should do. He’ll email me a list. I’m actually excited I finally get to see this list he’s been sending everyone for years. I’ll take any help I can get.

I take care of a customer and get back to the bays pulling his bike in. Jared comes in and helps making me smile. He’s a fuckin’ wiz at anything he touches. I’m glad he likes touching the bikes.