“I’m kind of afraid for me, too. But you know what?” I lifted his chin with one finger and looked him in the eye.
“What?”
“I’ve got an awfully good fighter to show me the ropes.”
Ull cracked first. “You really want me to teach you?”
“I do. And it doesn’t have to be now. It doesn’t even have to be before the wedding. Just promise me you’ll be the one to give me the tools I need to take care of myself. Because I want us to be together forever, and I don’t need any giants kidnapping me or elves trying to off me again.”
“All right.” Ull closed his eyes. “I will do it. But you have to promise something in return.”
“Okay.”
Ull squeezed my hands and opened his eyes. “Promise you will not throw a fit when we arrange for your bodyguard.”
“My what?” I took a step back and put my hands on my hips.
“Once your identity gets out, the line of creatures waiting to kidnap you will stretch from one end of the cosmos to the other. As the Seer, Odin will require you have twenty-four-hour detail.”
“Absolutely not. No. I don’t want some stranger following me around all the time. I already have you asking about my every vision. I’m covered.” The idea of two overprotective-Ulls was too much.
“Sweetheart.” Ull stepped forward and pulled me into his arms. I softened into him just a smidge, but I kept my hands firmly on my hips. “This is not about me. You are my world, yes. But as our visionary, you are also of tremendous value to Asgard. Odin will not let you roam the realms unsupervised. He is going to require security detail to keep you safe.”
“Well, you’re an assassin, right? Can’t you do it?” I tried to squirm away, but Ull was so strong it was as if I were trying to wrestle a grizzly. I gave up and rested my cheek on his ribcage.
“I will protect you, yes. But at the end of the day, you are still going to need a bodyguard.” He stroked the small of my back and I shivered. Without thinking, I dropped my hands from my hips and wrapped them around his waist.
“And if I promise not to freak out when I get this stalker—”
“Bodyguard,” Ull corrected.
“Whatever. If I don’t freak out, then you’ll teach me to fight?”
“That is my offer, yes.”
“Fine.” I dropped my arms. Ull ran his hands over my hips and kissed the top of my head.
“Thank you, darling,” he murmured into my hair.
“You’re welcome,” I muttered. “But you’d better teach me some really good moves.”
“Oh, I plan to.” His husky voice absolutely dripped with double meaning. I turned beet red.
“That’s settled. Now can we get back to our lesson?” Olaug tapped her foot from across the room, and I buried my face in Ull’s chest.
“Yes.” Ull kissed my forehead and guided me back to the couches. I curled up against him and stroked his palm with the pads of my fingers. He slung his other arm comfortably around my shoulders and pulled me close.
Olaug smoothly steered the conversation toward my duties. “As Ull’s wife you will be Goddess of Winter. As time goes on you may choose to take on additional responsibilities. That shall be at your discretion.”
“But what will be expected of me as a… .” It was still weird to say
goddess
out loud. “As one of you?”
“Not much at first, my dear,” Olaug reassured me. “Everyone wants to see you have an easy transition.” Ull looked up. “I spoke with Sif just before you arrived. She says ‘hello,’ and ‘why don’t you visit more?’”
Ull laughed. “Typical.” His fingertips rubbed soft circles on my arm and a slow burn built on my skin. My pulse spiked, but the proximity of Ull’s grandmother helped ebb the hormones.
“She is very excited for your wedding. She never thought she would see the day,” Olaug teased gently. “Neither did I. We are all so happy you have come along, Kristia. You are the blessing none of us knew to ask for.”
“Agreed.” Ull brushed his lips against my hair.
“Thank you.” I felt the heat race across my cheeks.
“Would you ladies care for tea?” Ull asked.
“Yes, please.” I kissed his bottom lip and Ull headed to the kitchen to make a fresh pot.
“So when are you going to teach me how to, you know, manage my—” I broke off and signed a circle by my ear, the universal sign for “crazy.” I could not wait to have some control over my handicap.
“I am afraid there is not much you can do until after you have been changed,” Olaug responded. “You will not have the strength of Asgard until then. And trying to channel your powers without it would be dangerous. If you were separated from your body in the tenth realm—”
“Olaug!” Ull set the kettle down with a little too much force.
“She is going to find out about it soon enough.”
“The tenth realm? No, there are nine. Asgard, Vanaheim, Alfheim, Svartalfheim, Jotunheim, Nidavellir, Nifhelm, Muspelheim and… oh. Midgard.” I ticked them off by rote. One started paying a
lot
more attention in Professor Carnicke’s mythology class when one found out one’s boyfriend was a living, breathing Norse deity.
Olaug stared at Ull. “Do you want to tell her or should I?”
I watched the vein on Ull’s neck bulge until I was pretty sure it was going to burst. “It’s okay. I can just find out later.”
Ull let out one long breath. He eyed me levelly, as if he were waiting for me to run away.
“Ull? What’s wrong?”
“I do not know how much more I can subject you to,” he admitted. “This is not a small matter.”
“Try me.”
Ull nodded. He set down a silver serving-tray with teacups, milk, sugar and spoons. When he was done, he stared at me with a guarded expression. “There is another plane beyond the nine realms—an alternate reality you can visit to obtain information. A tenth realm.”
“THERE’S AN ALTERNATE REALITY?
Like, a parallel universe?” I squeaked. That sounded absurd. Though, given the origins of my company, I probably should have been beyond surprises.
“It is simply another place you can send a part of your spirit for a term. Another realm that has… . special powers,” Ull explained.
“You can send your spirit to another realm?” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You can separate yourself from your spirit? Actually cut out your soul? Like in a horror movie?”
“No, nothing like that,” Olaug assured me just as Ull nodded.
“Well, which is it?” I croaked.
Ull and Olaug exchanged a look. Ull spoke first. “Yes, you can separate yourself from your spirit. Send it on a journey your physical body cannot make. No, you are not cutting out your soul—the spirit will return to your body, provided you keep it intact in the tenth realm.”
“And no, it is nothing like a horror movie,” Olaug assured me. “It is reasonably painless, or so I’m told. I’ve never actually done it before.”
“You haven’t? And you think I’m going to be able to?” There was no disguising the panic from my voice.
“I
know
you are going to be able to,” Olaug promised. If only I could feel half as confident as she sounded. “Elsker will train you. Extensively. When the time comes, you will be more than ready.”
“You can actually send your spirit to another realm?” There were so many things that could go wrong in that scenario. First of all, how did you get your spirit out of your body? And once it was away from your brain, how did you tell it where to go and what to do? What happened if it decided it wanted its independence and went off on a European cruise, leaving your body spirit-less? This could be a total debacle. What if…
Oh my God
. “What if Elfie finds me? My body lying spiritless, or my spirit off in Never-Never Land? What would happen to me?”
The vein in Ull’s neck bulged. His square jaw worked itself back and forth before setting in a firm line.
“It’s that bad?” My mouth was so dry, my tongue felt like someone had glued it to my teeth.
“I promised I would not let anything bad happen to you, Kristia. But you have to understand that if you choose to do this, if you choose to enter the tenth realm, there is a possibility I will not be able to protect you. If I were to travel with you, your body would be left unattended. And if I stay with your body, I cannot be with your spirit. I cannot protect both parts of you if you separate them from one another. But the thought of not being able to take care of any part of you absolutely terrifies me.”
In that instant I understood why Ull looked so angry. I’d put him in an impossible position. He planned for every possible outcome when it came to my safety: bodyguards and babysitters, and a carefully orchestrated training regimen to guide me into his world. He walked me to school most days, checked to make sure I was in my flat every night before he went to sleep, and just
happened
to show up any time I stayed late at the library. In an ordinary boyfriend it would have been cloying, but there was nothing ordinary about Ull. He’d seen, and dealt, fatal blows to more than one immortal. He knew how very fragile my mortality would make me in his world. But at the same time, every step closer to my becoming a god meant we were a step closer to Ull’s worst fear coming true—having me in a situation he couldn’t control.
And here I was, throwing the thing that terrified him the most right in his face.
For the first time, I wondered if I’d made a mistake. Maybe going through with this wasn’t the right thing to do. If severing my soul, even to stop Ragnarok, would cause Ull this much worry, then maybe I wasn’t looking out for him at all. Maybe I was being selfish. But what choice did I have? If I didn’t do the job The Fates had unwittingly assigned me, Ragnarok would mark the end of our worlds. It wasn’t like we had a whole lot of options.
I’d asked what would happen if Elfie found my body or my spirit alone. Ull’s reaction had given me my answer. But at the end of the day, the question was moot. Ull had become my entire reason for being. He was so concerned with taking care of me that he didn’t realize that I was set on doing the same for him. Not even the very real likelihood of my death would stop me from doing everything I could do to protect him from Ragnarok.
I crossed the room in quick strides. My fingers grazed the taut muscles of Ull’s chest as I rested my head on his torso. Strong arms wrapped around my lower back, pulling me into the embrace I knew I could never live without. “I’m sorry. I really am. If there were another way to do this, you know I would. But there’s a lot riding on my pulling this off. Our realms need me—”
“I need you,” Ull growled.
“I need you too.” My lips moved against his bicep. “More than you’ll ever know. And I promise I’m not going to leave you. Ever. No matter what I have to do as this Seer person. You’re stuck with me. You have to believe in this; in us.”
“I want to.” Ull looked haunted.
“That’s good enough for now.” I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Now this spirit-splitting trick—is it a god thing?” Surely no mortal had ever done something so magical.
“No.” Ull went back to preparing the tea. “Humans could visit the tenth realm, with proper training. But few have the necessary discipline to do it safely.”
“So it’s something I could do now? Before you change me?” My desperation to get some kind of control over my mental handicap crawled over my concern for Ull’s feelings like the feral squirrel that lived behind the Nehalem General Store. That thing was vicious.
“Absolutely not. Sending your spirit to the plane is risky enough for a mortal, but for someone of your abilities… . Kristia, if our enemies got wind that the Seer sent her unprotected spirit—” Ull exhaled sharply. “They could kidnap that part of you. You would be incomplete, and they would have control over your powers. I do not want to think about what they could do to you.”
“But Ull, if there’s anything I can do to help your family…”
Ull gripped the handle of the teapot so tightly his knuckles cracked.
“Kristia,” Olaug interrupted gently. “It isn’t a good idea for you to try anything of this magnitude while you are mortal. You are too valuable to the realm to take that risk. Much is resting on you.”
“There has to be
something
I can do now. I feel so helpless.”
“Well, it would fall strictly under Elsker’s purview,” Olaug hesitated. “But maybe she and I could at least explain to you how the visions will work once you have access to the alternate realm. Now, I don’t want you attempting to separate from your body, understand that. But we can give you a bit of an overview of how the process will work, so you can mentally prepare yourself.”
“That would be great.”
Anything to quell this feeling of being totally useless in the face of an impending apocalypse
. “Thanks.”
The sound of grinding teeth came from my betrothed.
“I promised I would prepare her, Ull. You must allow me to do the job you asked me to do,” Olaug pointed out.
“I know,” Ull grunted. “But I get to be here when you work.”
“Oh, no. I cannot adequately prepare her with you glaring over my shoulder.” Olaug planted a hand on her waist. I eyed Ull warily. He was definitely glaring. Was there any way to circumvent his overprotective nature and let Olaug work in peace?
I rubbed at my temples as a barrage of needles pounded inside my head. As quickly as it had come the pain passed, but in the interim I’d had an insight. Lovely. If I tried to force the visions, I got a migraine.
No matter. I pushed through the discomfort. “Okay. Ull is going to start taking long walks alone to think about Ragnarok. He won’t want me to see how worried he is, so he’ll go off by himself for about an hour every week.”
“Why are you talking about me as if I am not here?” Ull crossed his arms.
“How do you know this?” Olaug ignored the irritated idol behind her.
I tapped my head. “I had another vision.”
“Oh, all right. I will speak with Elsker. If she approves then the three of us shall talk—talk only, Kristia—about your visions when Ull takes his walks.”
“I am not planning to take any walks,” Ull declared.
“You will.”