Endless Obsession (4 page)

I choke on my food, sputtering out a cough that turns to a laugh after I take a swallow of my drink.

“Jesus, can you use your filter while we’re out please?” I look around and see a couple people looking at us in disgust.

“No,” she responds unashamedly. That’s another thing I love about Liv; she comes as she is. If you don’t like her, then she doesn’t have time for you.

“I’m dying to know. I think he’s going to ask me this weekend. I can just feel it. He’s been real secretive lately and all over me.”

I reach across the small table between us and bring her in for a hug. Pulling back, we both have big grins on our faces.

“Okay, so I’m going to go ahead and say it because I want to be the first… I’m so happy for you both!”

“Thanks, Pop. It seems like I’ve been waiting forever for this.”

Liv and Tony have been dating for two years. She claims as soon as she saw him, she knew right away that he was “the one.” The way they both look at each other, you can plainly see they are head over heels in love. And I know for a fact that Tony is asking her this weekend to marry him. He called me a month ago, asking for my opinion on a ring. It’s a simple ring, but holds sentimental value because it’s belonged to his family for generations. I don’t know the details of him popping the question, just that it’s this weekend. It’s been killing me, having this information and not being able to tell her. But I want it to be perfect. And for Liv, I’ll continue the torture.

“So, how did your date go with what’s his face?” Liv asks.

I don’t know why she never uses the guy’s names from the dates I go on. It was her idea for me to join the dating site in the first place. I always give her the details: the guy’s name, where we’ll be at, and what time I’m meeting him. I message her when I leave the house and when I get back. It’s a safety measure we both agreed I should take since I’m going out with strangers. I think it may be because she’s becoming frustrated I haven’t found the right guy.

I throw my napkin on the table and roll my eyes. “Another dud.”

“What was wrong with this one? Did he have some weird sexual fetish? Or maybe a whole baseball team worth of children he doesn’t care for?”

“Nope,” I tell her. “He was married.”

“Fucking prick,” she says around a mouthful of food, not really acting surprised. To be honest, neither was I. My online dating luck sucks ass.

“His wife actually showed up at the restaurant and reamed his ass before she turned on me.”

Her eyes go wide. “Please tell me you let her have it? I’m all for her being upset, but shit, you didn’t know.”

“I ignored her and walked out, right before I dumped my wine in his lap.” That gets a choked laugh out of Liv, and I high five the hand she holds up for me. Our laugh dies down and I continue. “But that’s not the worst part. The asshole had the nerve to follow me home to try and explain.”

“What the hell? Are you serious?” Liv hisses, leaning across the table, her food forgotten.

“Yep. He was practically begging me to give him another chance.” I curl my lip up in disgust at the memory.

“Not just a prick, then. A two-timing-asshole-bastard-triple prick.”

I laugh at her assessment. You gotta love Liv.

“I think I’m about done with this whole online dating thing. I have one more date coming up. After that, no more. Obviously, it’s not working out for me.”

“Yeah, I get it.” She frowns, and I know it’s because she was hoping I would find someone that could make me happy. “It’s just weird how your luck with it’s been so terrible. I’ve heard of several people finding dates that turned out really well for them.”

I shrug, baffled myself, but not really caring anymore.

After we finish lunch, Liv dumps our trash while I put in Mr. Knight’s order. We walk the couple of blocks back to work, talking about this, that, and the other. I spend the rest of the day making sure Mr. Knight has the information he needs for this afternoon’s appointments, fielding calls, confirming upcoming appointments, completing this week’s expense reports, and other menial tasks. By the time five rolls around, I’m exhausted. I’m ready to get home for a nice relaxing soak in the bath, a glass of wine, and maybe an episode or two of
Lost
.

I let Mr. Knight know I’m heading out and ask if he needs anything before I go. Once I have the all clear, I grab my purse and vase of flowers and walk to the elevator. Once in the car, I call and place an order for Chinese. The drive is short and it’s not long before my food is delivered.

While eating, I put on
Lost
. I end up watching three episodes. I throw away the takeout containers, then grab my still half-f glass of wine, phone, and earbuds, and make my way to the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom. Setting the items down on the small shelf next to the tub, I walk back out to the bedroom. I start to undress, but suddenly get a feeling someone is watching me. My head automatically turns to the window. I walk over and pull the sheer curtains to the side, peering out into the darkness. I feel ridiculous being spooked. I have spotlights, so if anyone was out there, they would flash on. Not to mention, it would be difficult for someone to jump the tall privacy fence I have. Even so, I decide to get undressed in the bathroom.

Sinking down in the warm bubbly water, I pop my earbuds in, take a sip of my wine, and pull up the playlist I want. I lay there until I feel myself starting to drift off and the water starts to cool. Quickly finishing my bath, I step out of the tub, dry myself, and forgetting the feeling of being watched earlier, walk out to my bedroom naked. I pull the covers back and slip beneath them. I love feeling the cool silky sheets against my skin. I started sleeping naked when I was nineteen, and if I can help it, I’ll never go back to sleeping with clothes on again.

It’s not long before my mind empties of all thoughts, and I drift off to sleep.

I lift my head just in time to see Poppy disappear behind the door. I run my hands through my hair and blow out a breath. Seeing her at work and holding on to my professionalism is one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. I torture myself through these times because I know when I watch her without her knowledge, the pleasure of that alone is worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I would drop to my knees and beg and plead for the taste and touch of Poppy, and one day I will, but not today. Not until I’ve had my fill of this…this
addiction
, and am confident she can overcome my invasion of privacy into her life.

This feeling, this need for her is foreign to me. It’s hard to explain because I don’t understand it myself. I’ve never felt this overpowering urge to be near someone, to watch them without them knowing. Normally, I would hate something so uncontrollable—I need control—but when it comes to Poppy, I seem to have no control over my actions. I’ve never, not once, considered ignoring them. The thought alone is unfathomable.

A knock sounds at my door, pulling me from my thoughts of her. I glare at it as I tell the person on the other side to come in.

Eric appears in the doorway. “We still on for later?”

Fuck!

I forgot Eric and I had plans to go over the newest spyware. That means my nightly stalking will be put on hold until later tonight. I grip the edge of my desk to keep myself from throwing something. The number one thing I don’t like is having my plans change when it comes to her. I have a routine, and fuck anyone if they try to deter me from it. At least I know she’s not going on a date tonight. I not only control who she meets from that fucking dating site, but also how often she does.

“Yes,” I tell Eric, barely keeping it from coming out in a hiss.

Silver Technologies specializes in monitoring its client’s networks, implementing security standards, and installing data protection systems so outside forces can’t break in and steal vital information. The security systems we design and use have never been broken into. That’s why we are so well sought-after. Depending on what the client’s budget is, depends on how extensive the service is and the software we provide. Eric has been with me almost since the beginning and has become a close friend. He’s one of my top software designers. Although he’s one of the best, all designs go through me, where I tweak them and make them unhackable.

Yes, I provide protection against people like me. I may protect others against the thieves that hack computers for a living, but that doesn’t keep me from doing it myself. Call me a hypocrite and see if I care. Knowing how people break into computers and learning it at a young age makes me good at what I do. I don’t use the information I uncover for personal gain, or rather, I don’t anymore. I use it to better my business, except in the case of Poppy. I’ll use every damn trick I know to get what I want from her.

I was eight years old when I hacked into my first computer, my school’s computer. My teacher gave me a C in math, and I didn’t like it. I was already good at computers, and after hours of playing around, I broke into their system and changed my C to an A. No one was none the wiser. From there, my curiosity of internet security systems grew, and so did my hacking skills. Before I started Silver Technologies, I was breaking into some of the tightest security systems in the world, and I was never even close to being caught. After years of using others to gain what I wanted, I decided to work from the other side and started designing my own internet security software. I had money from my ill-gotten gains and Silver Technologies was created. Now, after fifteen years, we’re at the top of the ladder in internet security.

I clear my head of my current thoughts and look back to Eric, who’s still standing in my doorway.

“Email me the updated designs and projection reports. Be here in an hour.”

He nods and closes the door behind him, and my thoughts immediately drift back to Poppy. When she told me earlier that she didn’t sleep well the night before, I wanted to ask for more details, but I held back. I’ve never gotten personal with Poppy because I don’t need to. I damn near know everything about her already. To do so now would seem strange. While she sat across from my desk, writing down the tasks I gave her, my eyes kept flickering back to her. She was oblivious to my constant stares, her nose buried in the notepad on her lap. It’s hard to concentrate when she’s around, but in order to keep up the ruse, I force myself, when all I want to do is lay her out on my desk and feast away at her body.

I can tell I make her nervous, something I find highly arousing. She tries to hide it, but I know better. The way her breath hitches a fraction when she’s around me, or how her nipples peek through her top at me when I look at her. She bites her lip when she’s nervous and rubs her pointer finger and thumb together. Sometimes, I’ll look at her and catch her watching me. Her face turns a lovely shade of pink, and seeing that pink blush turns my dick to stone every time. I want to see her entire body flush like that.

My cell phone chirps on my desk, and I glance down at it.
Mom
appears on the screen. I grab the slim device, slide my finger across the screen to accept and put it to my ear.

“Hello, Mom.”

“Asher, honey, how are you?”

I close the program I was using when Poppy knocked to let me know she was leaving and lean back in my chair with both elbows resting on the arms. If I know my mom, I may be here for a while.

“I’m good. Nothing new. How are you and Dad?”

“Your dad and I are fine. I’m putting together a dinner in a few weeks, and I was hoping you could attend. Nothing big, just a few friends.”

I rub my fingers along my temple, feeling a headache coming on. I know what she’s trying to do. She’s been doing it for years now, and each and every time she’s failed.

“Is this another attempt at setting me up?” I ask. I can’t help the irritation in my voice. I love my mom, and I know she means well, but her attempts at marrying me off to some random woman she knows through friends is getting quite tiresome.

“Asher. Please, honey. I know you’ll like this girl. I’ve had lunch with her a few times and she’s very intelligent and sweet. Can you—”

I cut her off before she can start in on why this girl and I would be perfect for each other. I’ve heard it all a hundred times and do not need to hear it again.

“Mom, no.” My tone brooks no argument. Normally, I wouldn’t dare speak to her with such a tone, but this shit has got to stop. You’d think she’d get a clue after the first fifty failed attempts.

“Me and your dad aren’t getting any younger here, Asher. I want grandkids.”

“You’ve got grandkids,” I remind her.

“I do, and I love them dearly, but I want grandkids from all my kids before I go.”

I sigh as I lean up, bringing my elbows down on my desk. Glancing down, I see the monthly bill from Everly’s Flower Shop. I have a standing tab with them that I pay monthly. When Poppy didn’t show at her normal time for work this morning, anxiety started snaking its way into my system. She’s never late—she’s normally early. I’m always the first person here in the mornings and she shows up about forty-five minutes after me. Those times are the hardest because we’re here alone, and she knows I’m here with her. But when she was late this morning, I about tore my office apart. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see her until she wasn’t there to be seen.

I pulled the feed up on my computer and saw her scrambling around her house in a hurry. That alone was what kept me sane, knowing she was okay, just appearing to be running late. My eyes stayed locked on the screen until she finally left the house. I closed the program, immediately pulled up the tracking app I have on my phone for the tracking device I have on her car and watched as the little dot moved across the screen, showing she was on her way here. It was only when she pulled into the garage that the unease started to settle. I like order and I like control. For Poppy’s schedule to change and me not made aware of it beforehand is something I obviously don’t handle well.

“Asher, honey, are you still there?” My mom’s voice pulls me back to the present.

“I’m here. Email me the details and I’ll be there, but you need to either tell this girl not to come or let her know I’m not interested. Enjoy the grandkids you’ve got. I’ll give you some when I find the right person, and not someone you find for me.”

“I just want to see you happy, honey. Your sister’s found hers and so has your brother. The way you’re going, you’ll never get yours.”

“I get it, Mom, I really do, and I love you for wanting that for me, but you’ve got to stop this. I’m happy in my life right now. If and when I find someone, it will be on my terms. It’s me that has to live with that person. Don’t you think I have the right to pick her?” I don’t give her time to answer before I say, “I have to go. Eric should be in any minute to go over a few things. I’ll see you next week.”

“Wait,” she says hurriedly, before I get a chance to hang up. “There’s another reason I called.”

I wait for her to continue. I have a feeling I know what she’s going to ask.

“How is…everything else?” Concern and worry lace her voice.

I blow out a breath and give her what she needs to hear. Fortunately, what I tell her is the truth.

“It’s good and is as it should be. You know I’d let you know if it were different. The results continue to show improvement.”

She releases a sigh of relief over the phone. It’s been very stressful the last few months, and I know it’s taken its toll on my family, especially my parents. I’m lucky to have such loving parents and a brother and sister that would do anything for me, as I would them.

“That’s good. Really good, Asher.” I hear the slight hiccup in her voice, and I wish I was there to pull her into my arms. My family and I have always been close. I live a few hours from them and don’t get to see them as often as I’d like, but I always try to make sure I make it out to them at least twice a month. However, there were several months I wasn’t able to. Instead, they came to me.

“Love you, Mom. Now, I really need to go.”

“Okay, honey. Love you, too. I’ll email you the details about the dinner.”

We hang up and I drop my phone on the desk. Enough time has passed for Poppy to have made it home. I bring up the video feed on my computer and see her sitting down with a container of Chinese and a glass of wine. The angle of the camera shows her from the side. She slips off her heels and curls her feet up onto the couch. The way she’s sitting has her tight skirt pushed up her legs, showing off more of her thighs. My body gives a jolt when I see a peek of her garter belt. Her hair is still in the neat updo she had earlier. I watch as she flips on the TV and settles on something to watch. From this angle, I can’t see what it is, but I bet its
Lost
. It’s her favorite. I know this from the cable company records I hacked into.

I watch her sitting on the couch, eating her food until I hear a knock on my door once again. Feeling irritated, I close the program, bring up the email Eric sent over and bid him entrance, already wishing this meeting was over so I can get in my car, drive over to Poppy’s, and watch through her window as she gets ready for bed.

It doesn’t take me long to get to Poppy’s house. Of course, that may be because I broke a few speeding laws along the way. The need to see her was strong, especially after my plans to be here earlier were thwarted by the meeting with Eric. By the time we were done, I swear my hands were shaking. It’s ridiculous to get that way over seeing someone that won’t even know I’m there, but I learned a long time ago, anything to do with Poppy is out of the norm. My strides to the fence are determined and impatient.

Now I’m standing in front of her window when suddenly, her head turns to face it. I step to the side with my back to the wall of the house. Seconds later, I see her shadow appear as she looks out the window. I’m not worried about her seeing me. I’m in the shadow and the angle isn’t right.

This is the first time she’s sensed me watching her, and I wonder what tipped her off.
Doesn’t matter
. She won’t see me unless I want her to. Even though I’m not ready to give this game up, the thrill of nearly getting caught has my dick growing in my slacks.

Poppy moves away from the window and I wait several more seconds before I peek around the frame, just as she closes the door to her bathroom.