End of Day (Jack & Jill #1) (17 page)

Jessica smiled in delight that Luke continued with the topic of conversation.

“I’m sure you already know, but if you want me to say I need control, then sure, I need control. But the truth is I’d control any sex position you want to put me in.” Jessica winked as Luke gave her a fleeting glance. “I just don’t want you thinking you have control, even if I know it’s not the case. Pisses me off to see the smirk on a guy’s face when he thinks he has control.”

“Tell me why you need control.” Luke continued with his crossword.

“In bed?”

“Yes.”

“Someone has to have it.”

“Why?”

“Because someone initiates it.”

“So if I initiate sex with you will I have control?”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Jessica wiggled her eyebrows at an ill-humored Luke. “Fine.” She huffed. “So you’re telling me when you have sex you’re not in control?”

“Depends.”

“On what?” She sat up straight with her legs crossed.

“The level of intimacy.”

“Love versus sex?”

“Yes.”

“So you’ve been in love?”

“Have you?”

“Come on, Jones! Answering a question with a question? You can do better than that.”

“
Luke!
And yes, I’ve been in love. Tell me about the men you’ve loved.”

Jessica was once again impressed with his swift and accurate diversion. “I shared the womb with one and was conceived by the other. We’ve never had sex. I bet you’d charge me extra for that added problem.”

Luke tossed the newspaper on the side table along with the pen. “And exactly how much am I charging you now?”

“Thirty pairs of ironed socks, which let’s be honest … who owns thirty pairs of socks? Do you do laundry once a month? And then there was a complete kitchen cleaning. I’m just saying, incest would probably have me on my knees in front of your toilet scrubbing it with a toothbrush.”

He folded his hands in his lap. “That was the longest answer ever for what could have been a simple ‘You’re not charging me anything and I’ve never been in love.’”

“Wow! Are you counting my words now?”

“If I kick you out early, are you going to give me a month’s worth of useful information in under ten minutes on the other side of my door?” He glared at her.

Jessica leapt off the bed. “Real professional, asshole! I can’t believe the Board of Medical Examiners granted you the right to fuck with people’s minds and emotions.”

“I’m not your doctor, Jessica.” Luke held steadfast to his composure.

“Then you’re a shitty friend!” She stomped out of his bedroom.

“I’m not your friend either,” he called after her as she marched toward the front door.

Jessica whipped around as Luke caught up to her. “Then who or what the hell are you?”

Luke shook his head. “I’m nobody … just a guy that wants to see you get better.”

A caustic anger roiled in her chest. “Well I don’t need nobody. I need somebody. I trusted Dr. Jones, and I trust my friends, but you’re neither, so I’m not going to lay my whole fucking world at the feet of
nobody
!”

Luke stepped toward her until her back was pressed to the wall. His blue eyes turned to coal. “Your problem is you don’t trust
anyone
—not me, not your family, and not your friends. Maybe what you need right now is a nobody, a dumping ground for all of your problems, someone who’s not your past nor your future. I won’t feel responsible, or guilty, or judge you. You can make up a hundred pet names for me, plot out my death in fifty different scenarios, and question me about my favorite sex position, but it won’t make you better.”

That was the first time Luke broke Jessica’s heart. She didn’t want him to be a nobody. During the months that they’d been together she’d convinced herself that he would make her better—not his willingness to listen, not his words of wisdom, but
him
.

The first tear surrendered. “There were two of them. One served as the decoy, the other shot us with a tranquilizer gun like we were rabid animals. I wasn’t sure if it was hours or days that we spent coming in and out of consciousness. I remember vomiting on myself at one point and wetting my pants. Then we were dying of dehydration: swollen tongues, confusion, dizziness, heart palpitations. Finally they offered us water out of a shared dog dish. We were almost too weak to even drink. Then they offered us food, actual dog food. I didn’t eat it, but Claire did. Four said he’d cut her if she didn’t.” Each blink released more tears. Her eyes never strayed from Luke’s.

“He never cut you?”

Jessica shook her head.

“Do you know why?”

“Because I wanted him to. I dared him, taunted him, practically begged him. It was like he knew.”

“Knew what?”

Salty tears melted onto her tongue when she sucked in her lips and swallowed back the words that she hadn’t said in almost a decade.

“Knew what, Jessica?” Luke cupped her face in his hands.

“I’m hungry.” Her tears dried up as her expression softened to a blank stare.

He nodded, releasing her. “We can be done for tonight.”

She drew in a breath and released it with absolute control, putting away the past in its safe spot and focusing again on the present. “Want to go get something to eat with me?”

“I can’t.” Luke took a step back.

“Are you on a diet?”

He smiled, barely, but it was a smile. “No,
we
can’t be seen together.”

She slipped on her shoes. “Are you famous? Because I’m not and the only people who know both of us are in New York for the next two weeks, so unless we happen to pick the same restaurant as your receptionist, Eve, then I think we’re good.”

Jessica’s area of expertise was risk assessment, but Luke’s overthinking and excessive contemplation made her reserved personality look utterly reckless.

“Never mind.” She slung her purse over her shoulder. “I’ll eat by myself or find
somebody
who might enjoy my company. Don’t sweat it, Luke.”

“Jessica?”

She stopped, inches from shutting the door. He pulled it back open.

“Pizza delivery? We can eat out on my balcony.”

“Is this pity?” She squinted.

“It’s pizza. What kind do you like?”

She stepped back inside and kicked off her shoes. “Are we making out later?”

“No.”

She brushed past him toward the French doors to the balcony. “In that case—red onions, banana peppers, fresh garlic, and pineapple.”

“
Pineapple
?”

“Did I stutter?”

“We’ll go half and half. Thin crust okay?”

“Nope. Thick.” She stepped outside and drew in a shaky breath. Sharing her past felt like an emotional game of Jenga. How many pieces could he extract before she’d completely collapse?

After he ordered the pizza and changed into something more casual, Luke joined her on the balcony. “Beer or wine?” He held up two bottles of Heineken in one hand and a bottle of white wine and a wine glass in the other.

“Wine. Never beer, it tastes like piss.”

Luke shook his head, his usual sign of annoyance. “Wine for you, piss for me.” He sat opposite her at the table and poured her a glass of wine.

“I use beer to drown out the world. Haven’t had it in years. So if you see me drinking beer think of it as an SOS.”

Luke popped the cap off his beer. “I drink wine when I’m trying to impress a woman I really like. So if you see me sipping a glass of Pinot, then try to avoid embarrassing me.” He raised his bottle of Heineken. “To you not needing to drown out the world.”

Jessica grinned and tapped his bottle with her glass. “To you not trying to impress me.” She took a sip of wine. “So if you
wer
e having a glass of Pinot tonight, what would you be sharing about yourself that would sound impressive?”

Luke tapped the mouth of his bottle against his bottom lip, once again contemplating his response. “I’d say I shouldn’t really be drinking wine or eating
thick
crust pizza tonight because my best friend, Gabe, has talked me into training for a triathlon with him and his girlfriend.”

“They asked you?” Jessica’s voice squeaked as her back straightened.

“Gabe did.”

“Huh … Kelly didn’t say anything. Long Beach?”

“Yes.”

“I’m signed up too.”

“I know, that’s why I suggested thin crust.”

She laughed. “Triathlons for me are like a 10K to a marathoner. I ‘train’ so Kelly has a partner. I overdress so she sees me sweat, I fake labored breathing, and I stay three steps behind her when we jog so she thinks she’s setting the pace. Then she heads home and I put in five more miles at double the pace, an hour of sparring with my brother, and an hour of abs. I swim three times a week and bike on Saturdays. But don’t tell her any of that, please.”

Luke set his beer down on the table. “And you call
me
OCD?”

“I’m disciplined, not obsessed.”

“Okay, I’ve failed to impress you with my piss beer or triathlon training. What do you have?”

Jessica’s eyes grew wide. “You want me to try and impress you?”

“Yes.”

“And what I just said didn’t do it?”

“It only explained why you have too much muscle, too little fat, and a personality stuck in overdrive.”

“Overdrive? Hmm … I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Luke shrugged while smothering his smirk that confirmed it was not a compliment.

“Fine, let’s see … when I’m not wearing a skirt or dress, I’m wearing jeans, black boots, a helmet, and riding around town on my motorcycle.”

Jessica had learned that Luke wasn’t easily surprised and rarely impressed, but she had captured his attention.

“Surprised? Impressed?”

The doorbell rang. “Yes and a little. I’ll be right back.”

He returned with the pizza and plates. “A motorcycle girl, huh?” The glimmer of curiosity in his eyes compounded everything else she already found irresistibly sexy about him.

“Anything with a motor really. My dad likes to work on cars and motorcycles in his rare moments of free time. He says it’s de-stressing and therapeutic. So at a young age I learned that if I wanted to spend time with my dad, it was going to be under the hood or beneath a car, handing him greasy tools.”

“Your brother too?”

“Jude? No way. Jude didn’t even care to get his driver’s license at sixteen. He’s a computer geek or ‘genius’ in his words. The first car he bought himself was a Jetta … a
Jetta!
Can you believe that?”

“I hear they’re reliable cars.” Luke took a bite of pizza.

“Oh my gosh! You have one, don’t you?”

He shook his head, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “No, I’m just making an observation.”

“Well, don’t.” Jessica rolled her eyes at her brother, knowing that he was somewhere sensing her disapproval.

After a dinner that felt a galaxy away from their doctor-patient relationship, Jessica looked at her watch that read a quarter to eleven.

“Oh crap! I’ve kept you up way too late.” She stood, grabbing her plate and wine glass.

“I’ve got it.” Luke took them from her. “And it’s fine. I’ve …” His face tensed into his signature contemplative look that Jessica had come to recognize.

“You’ve?”

He smiled, but it was almost painful looking. “I’ve had a nice evening … with you.”

Jessica opened the balcony door for him and risked a quick glance. “Me too. Thanks for dinner and
everything
.”

“You’re welcome.” He set the plates on the counter and walked her to the door.

“I’ll see you in a few days.”

Luke nodded, shoving his hands into his back pockets. “Good night, Jessica.”

She stopped before shutting the door. “I gotta know … the socks … that was a game or lesson right? You don’t really iron your socks do you?”

He smirked, but just barely. Leaning down next to her ear until his lips gently brushed it, he whispered, “Good night.” Then he pushed the door the rest of the way closed.

The deadbolt clicked as she stood in the hall, eyes closed, skin tingling with goosebumps, fingers ghosting over her lips that curled into the most smitten smile ever.

Knight

I
n the spirit
of why-the-hell-not, Jillian accepted a working lunch date with Rick Willey, the boss of her most recent Lascivo party hostess. Rick, by any other woman’s standards, was a handsome, successful bachelor. He had a good-ol’-boy look with his ten-dollar haircut, Lee jeans, and boyish smile. Rick ran a multi-million dollar construction business by day and immersed himself in the world of kinky sex toys by night. Enter Jillian.

“Thanks for lunch. I have to admit, I’ve never had a picnic in the back of a pickup before.”

Rick nodded with ignorant pride. “I had to keep an eye on my crew, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have lunch with you. Gina said you’re my soulmate. Thought you might like seeing me in action, you know … dominant and
in control
of my crew.”

The poor attempt at sexual innuendo brought a mini-vomit up Jillian’s throat. She swallowed it back down and held open her front door.

“Uh, yeah … there’s nothing sexier than a guy that knows his way around a walkie-talkie.” She rolled her eyes as he followed her into the house.

“So … how does this work?” He bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.

Jillian fought the grimace that pulled at her face as his eyes roved her body. “Eww …”

“Excuse me?” He leaned closer.

She cleared her throat. “I said
you
need to try the new vibrating pleasure pocket.”

“Oh yeah?” He strutted his neck like a bird.

“Yeah, just a second.” She retrieved the pleasure pocket from her box of toys.

“What if it doesn’t fit?”

Jillian made a quick inspection of his scrawny body. “Sorry, it doesn’t come in a smaller size.”

He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m not talking about it being small … if you know what I mean.”

More bile crept up her throat. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

“Maybe I should try it first. Maybe you could demonstrate it on me.”

There were indeed a lot of maybes, but Jillian’s were more like: Maybe I should be selling you a strap on penis or a magnifying glass to find yours, or maybe I should shove my thumb into your jugular and put us both out of our misery.