Sex night #3, which had actually been a night and a day: Cody.
Shawn remembered having hopes for that one. He’d met Cody at another bar. They’d spent the night fucking in Cody’s apartment and it was good. Not as mind-blowing as Roscoe, but Shawn had come to terms with never matching that again. Cody had been fun. He might have turned into more of a fuck buddy than anything. But then he’d learned about the drag, and things had cooled. He wasn’t into it, and had a mental glitch about it, so what could have been nice ended abruptly.
Since then, Shawn barely tried. He simply wasn’t interested in one night stands, and none of the men he met impressed him beyond the superfi cial. He’d even given some thought to dating a woman again, but his current lifestyle left him with even fewer options in that arena. Most of the women he met these days were far more excited that he was gay. So, yes, he was aware of the strangeness that had become his life in the last year.
Okay, so Roscoe was right. That didn’t make him a white knight to swoop in and make great changes in Shawn’s life. If Shawn wanted out, Shawn would get
himself
out. He didn’t need Roscoe to bail him out.
He went to work the next night with renewed vigor, determined to prove Roscoe wrong. He put on a new blue dress with a sexy swipe of sequins along the open leg. He took special ENCORE! ENCORE!
31
care with his makeup and donned a new wig that gave him curly blond hair down past his ass. He was determined not to mind the extra padding to give him breasts and hips, and he vowed not to curse the stiletto heels that he’d fi nally learned to manage. It lasted through his fi rst set but he was struggling by the second.
The act that had become routine now just seemed awful, and he knew he was off because of it.
He blamed Roscoe.
“How’d it go with Mr. Director Man?” Ms. Tyken asked him after his second set. She was almost sedately dressed tonight in a simple black sheathe and a long Cher wig. The makeup was caked on, of course, but the colors were more subdued than usual.
“Oh him? Fine.” Shawn hung his gown up on the rack. Unlike most of the others, he kept his costumes in the dressing room.
The others were paranoid that their precious gowns could get swiped. Shawn saw now that his ambivalence about that should have been a sign to him earlier.
“I hear you got in a cab with him when you left.”
“How’d you hear that?”
Ms. Tyken eased herself into the straight-backed chair in front of the makeup mirror then reached down to pull off a high heeled pump. “You know I know everything that happens in or around my club.”
True, that. “He wanted to talk some more.”
“Just talk?” She rubbed the arch of her foot.
Shawn shrugged, pulling padding from the hips of his nylons.
“I also heard that you were offered a part in a play?” He tossed the pads into his duffel bag. “Yep.”
“You were going to tell me this, when?” He slipped hands into the waistband of his nylons to start easing them off. “I’m not taking the part.”
“What?”
32 Mykles ~ Much Ado
He dropped onto the springy, lumpy couch that took up most of one wall so he could lift his feet to fi nish removing the nylons.
“I’m not going to do it.”
“Did I hear right that it’s playing Beatrice in
Much Ado
at the Bard’s Festival upstate?”
“Yep.”
“And you’re not taking it why?”
Shawn stood, now dressed only in the gaff that tucked his junk away. Surprisingly, he didn’t mind that so much, but then he’d liked dressing up in skirts before the drag thing. “I’m not interested in his charity.”
Ms. Tyken was quiet as Shawn got naked, quiet until he’d donned his boxer briefs.
“How is it charity, exactly?”
Shawn stepped into his jeans. “He hates what I’m doing now.
He thinks it’s beneath me.”
“So he offers you a starring role in an Equity show to get you away from here?” She waved a beringed hand to indicate the bar as a whole.
Shawn dropped into the chair beside her, and opened his makeup case. “Yes.”
“Mmmm.” She propped her chin on her palm, elbow on the table beside Shawn and watched as Shawn started to slather cold cream on his face. “I still don’t see how this is a bad thing.” Shawn froze. “Huh?”
She waited until Shawn twisted his neck to face her. Smiled.
“Shawn, honey, I adore you, but you and I know you don’t belong here.”
“What?”
“Princess, you’re gorgeous, but you’re heart isn’t in this. I know it. You know it, even if you may not want to admit it.” Shawn scowled, turning back to his cold cream. “That’s not true.”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
33
“It is true. I haven’t said anything, because I like having you here. You’re popular and you’re responsible and you’re a sweetheart to boot. But I knew it wouldn’t last. Cute little things like you never stick around.”
Shawn’s fi ngers slowed in their task. It was too much. Ms.
Tyken thought so too?
A sympathetic hand patted his shoulder. “There’s more to it than that, isn’t there sweetie?”
Shawn nodded, staring into the tub of cold cream.
“Wanna tell me?”
No.
He grimaced. “I think I’m still in love with him.”
“I’ve seen him. I don’t blame you.”
He heaved a breath. “He’s terrifi c. And he wants me back.”
“This is a problem, how?”
He stared the smooth white stuff on his fi ngers. Ms. Tyken waited.
“When I’m with him, I’m not exactly sure who I am anymore.
I’m just a part of him.”
“Ah. Well. Maybe that’s not so bad. Maybe when the two of you are together, you should be a part of each other.” Shawn shook his head. “I don’t do anything for him.”
“Oh sugar, I seriously doubt that.”
“I don’t mean sex.”
“Neither do I. Besides, he wants to put you up in front of everyone. Seems to me, he wants to let you shine.”
“Under his direction.”
“Maybe that’s not so bad.”
Shawn sighed, swallowing the niggling doubts that plagued his belly. “I don’t know.”
“Well, you should think on it.” Ms. Tyken put her shoe back on. “I think you should take the part, with my blessing.”
34 Mykles ~ Much Ado
“It’ll leave you short a set.”
“I’ll survive. I’m more worried about losing one of my bartenders.”
Chuckling, Shawn lifted his head. Ms. Tyken now stood behind him. Their eyes met in the refl ection.
She winked. “Danny’s shift is over in ten.”
“I’ll be down.”
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Truth be told, Shawn liked tending bar more than he liked doing his act. He wouldn’t have admitted that before tonight, but Roscoe’s appearance the previous night seemed to have sparked a whole string of revelations. He was used to the patrons kidding him that he didn’t look old enough to drink, and he’d gotten good at fl irting without promising.
“You’re not wearing a skirt.”
“Nope,” he answered, keeping his tone light, “not tonight.” Shawn kept drying glasses and putting them away, not quite ignoring Joshua but not giving him much attention either. It was late on a quiet week night and the overhead music after the shows wasn’t as loud as when a girl was on stage. Other than Joshua, there were only about a dozen people in the club, and he was only one of three who sat at the bar.
“Why did you wear one last night?”
The question was odd enough to get Shawn to glance over his shoulder. “Huh?”
Joshua wasn’t what you would call a bad looking man. Shawn preferred his guys tall and slim, and although Joshua was tall, his meaty muscles were on the much side. His hair was dark but so short that Shawn couldn’t tell if it was black or brown. His blue eyes were riveted on Shawn, the hungry gleam emphasized by the alcoholic buzz. “Last night you wore a skirt after your set. You’ve never done that before.”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
35
Shawn looked down at his jeans, worn under a plain blue polo. “Sure I have.”
Joshua shook his head emphatically. “No. You haven’t.” He thought about it. He used to do it all the time, back when he’d fi rst started at Ms. Tyken’s. Back when wearing skirts was more fun than work. He hadn’t so much lately, preferring to make the break from female to male after he’d fi nished his sets. But, then, Joshua had only become a regular in the last few months.
Shawn laughed, making light. “Huh. Well, I guess I haven’t.” He shrugged.
“You should. You looked great.”
He suppressed a fl irtatious
“I don’t now?”
and simply settled for a “Thank you,” before turning back to his glasses. They were all clean and dry, but he needed something to do. It was almost closing time and he’d cleared up almost everything else.
The dozen patrons dwindled to six when a party of fi ve took their leave and one of the guys at the bar paid his tab, then scuffl ed toward the door.
If Joshua noticed, he showed no sign. Shawn did a quick tally, thinking the big man hadn’t drunk that much. Maybe four beers? He’d come in after Shawn’s shift had started so no one else had served him. Four beers wasn’t enough to get a guy as big as Joshua drunk, not unless he’d had some before he’d come in. He seemed steady enough as he watched Shawn. “You should wear them all the time. Skirts. You’ve got the most beautiful body I’ve ever seen.”
Ice shot down Shawn’s spine. The same words had come from Roscoe’s mouth many times in the past, but the reaction was entirely different. He schooled his panic. Nothing had happened, Joshua was just fi nally making his move. Shawn knew it’d just been a matter of time, he’d had to have been blind not to see Joshua had a thing for him. He turned and made himself give the man a simple smile. “Thank you.” No warmth, no encouragement, just being nice.
36 Mykles ~ Much Ado
The guy in the corner left, taking the patron count down to fi ve. Nick—Ms. Tyken’s alter ego—emerged from the back and sat down with a friend of his at another table. One of the brighter overhead lights came on.
“Last call,” Shawn announced to no one in particular.
Joshua glanced up then focused back on Shawn. His mouth opened, then closed, his fi ngers twiddling against the sides of his half-empty beer bottle. Shawn took a moment to help the other guy at the bar close his tab. Joshua was still there when he was done. He seemed to be a little bit more controlled, his fi ngers still on the bar top.
“Who was that guy last night?”
Shawn started buttoning things up for the night. “Which one?”
“The one you were talking to. The director.” So Joshua knew who he was. “A friend of mine.”
“A boyfriend?”
“Once.”
“No more?”
“No.”
“You went home with him.”
Startled, Shawn turned to face him. “Huh?” Joshua’s gaze was steady, his lips drawn down into a slight frown. “I saw you get into a cab with him.”
“Jeez, does everyone know?” He covered his own nerves by grabbing a rag to wipe down the bar. “It’s no biggie. We dated for two years, after all, and he was my teacher before that.” He caught himself babbling. “We just shared a ride.”
“Are you getting back together?”
“I don’t think so.” Despite the fact that just thinking about the sex last night made his knees wobbly.
“But he wants to.”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
37
“Yeah.”
“I can’t blame him. Why’d he ever let you go in the fi rst place?”
“I walked out. He couldn’t accept who I am.” And I’m talking too much, he warned himself.
“What an ass. I’d never do that to you.” A hand clamped down on his wrist. Shawn jumped. When the hell had Joshua moved from his stool, and how had Shawn missed it?
“Shawna… Shawn, I’d… can I take you out to dinner?” It was a bad sign when you were dressed as a man and they talked to your fem side, at least in Shawn’s experience. He twisted his wrist, trying to free it. “Y’know, Joshua, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please?” He glanced at his hold on Shawn, something in his look apologetic although he didn’t let up. “I think about you all the time. I want to get to know you better.” Shawn wanted to ask if it was him or his alter ego Joshua wanted to know. Not that it mattered. “I said no.” He yanked at his arm but couldn’t free himself. “Let go.”
“Why?” The fi ngers tightened to bruising strength and dark brows crowded down over glittering blue eyes. “Is it that director guy? Did I wait too long? I’ve been meaning to ask you but—”
“No, that’s not it. I just…” He fi nally succeeded in freeing himself and took a prudent step backward. “I don’t really want to date anyone right now.”
Joshua was standing now, leaning into the edge of the bar.
His face looked demonic in the neon cast from the lights behind Shawn. “Then we don’t date. Just let me spend time with you.
Alone.”
Was that supposed to make him feel better? He couldn’t help giving the man wide, disbelieving eyes. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
38 Mykles ~ Much Ado
“Please?”
Life was almost normal yesterday. Roscoe’s arrival back into his life had just thrown everything all haywire. “No.” An ugly scowl darkened the other man’s features. “You’re not going off with
him
again, are you? I saw you arguing. I’ll be better for you than him.”
“Hey, Shawn.” Paul, one of Ms. Tyken’s bouncers, sidled up a seat away from Joshua and rested one beefy arm on the bar.
“You okay?”
Joshua snarled when he turned to the bouncer. “He’s fi ne.” Paul barely glanced at him, raising one brow over the dark eyes fi xed on Shawn.
Shawn glanced at Joshua, then back at Paul. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”
Paul nodded and stood. “Right.” He landed one paw on Joshua’s shoulder. “C’mon, buddy, time to go.”
“What? No, wait. Shawn! Wait—”
By the time Paul had dragged the protesting Joshua to the door, Nick and his friend Jeff were at the bar to fi nd out what happened. Shawn told them, trying to keep calm.
“I’d been worried about that one,” Nick sighed, his unmade face showing little sign of his fl ashier other persona. But the tenor and infl ection of his voice hardly changed. “You got someone to go home with you tonight, sugar?”