Enchanted and Desired (19 page)

Brandon comes over and lifts Lily off the floor. “Let’s get you home sweet girl. I have some not so sweet plans for you.”

“Thanks for waiting with Jess, bro. I really appreciate it.”

“No worries. These two are impossible to separate once you let them loose in the same room. But I do NEED to get my girl home and get this ridiculously small dress off of her. Later Si.” Lily shouts her goodbyes to both of us as Brandon drags her out the door, desperate to get her alone. I can understand that. All I want to do right now is lose myself in Jess.

“Your place or mine?”

“Let’s go to your place. I like your bed better than mine now.” I have to bite my tongue to refrain from asking her to move in with me after that innocent admission.

“Your wish is my command…now about you rubbing my cock for wishes???” She slaps me in the chest before cuddling into my side as we head out to my car. It’s such an affectionate gesture from her that most people would take for granted, but not me. I know the little things are a big deal for Jess, and I appreciate every indication that she’s trying to move forward with me. I hold her close, silently thanking my fucking lucky stars for her.

JESS

When we arrive back at Simon’s apartment the electrical charge that is always sparking between us is there, but tonight it changes into something softer; something more sensual; something…more. Our usual frenzied tearing at each other’s clothes, fumbling to get to the nearest surface so we can fuck, is replaced by a sensual seduction. Simon silently leads me, to his bedroom, before delicately undressing me. His touch is gentle and calculated, as if I might break if he holds me any tighter in his grasp. Every inch of skin he uncovers is met with a soft kiss from his plump, delicious lips, his tongue darting out to taste me, to tease me, his satisfied hum vibrating against my skin; desire unfurling in my stomach with every touch.

I return the favor, gently removing every item of his clothes, caressing every inch of him with my fingertips. When I flick my tongue over the tip of his rock hard cock, he steps back, lifting me to my feet and placing me on the bed with the utmost care.

“Not just yet baby…later. Right now I want to feel you, to watch you as you come apart beneath me, while I slowly thrust inside you; owning you, claiming you with every deliciously slow rock of my hips; filling you until you can’t take it anymore. I want to watch the look of bliss on your face as I come deep inside you.” His words alone have me wet and ready for him.

He holds my gaze, and the intensity of this one look, so many unsaid words passing between us, has me panting in anticipation. He grasps his beautiful cock, guiding it to my entrance, before slowing, sensually, sliding inside me; one long, torturous thrust until I am completely full with him. His pelvis hits my clit at the perfect angle, spreading a delicious, quiet ripple of sensation throughout my body.

We continue this slow dance together, enjoying every movement of our bodies together as one. I can’t take my eyes off of him, scared I will break the spell and he’ll disappear if I so much as blink. Sex has
never
been like this for me. This is so much more than sex. The eroticism and emotion of this one moment is devastating in its intensity. I’m close to tears as he slowly worships my body, and his tender words are my undoing.

“Tesoro…ti amo.”
[I love you.]

I can’t help the tears that trickle in a constant, silent stream down my cheeks at his tenderness and his whispered words of adoration. As he moves slowly inside me, filling me, claiming me, and loving me; a sob escapes my chest.

“What’s wrong Jess? Did I hurt you?” His face searches mine for a sign. “Please…mia bella fidanzata…talk to me.”
[My beautiful girlfriend]

He stills inside me, our bodies connected in the most profound of ways as the words I’ve held in for so long spill forth.

“No one has ever made love to me before.”

He holds his weight on his elbows, raising his fingers to gently caress the tears from my eyes.

“I love you Jess. You deserve to be loved and adored…and made love to, every single day of your life. You mean so much to me. I’ve been making love to you for a long time now…tonight is just the first time you’ve realized it.”

“I…I never thought I would
ever
feel this way Simon. Not after Gavin.” The full force of Gavin hits me square in the chest; a stark contrast to the man in front of me. The difference between Simon’s love for me and what
he
called ‘love’ is glaringly obvious to me now.

I feel bereft as Simon pulls out of me, breaking contact, but only for a split second before he scoops me up into his arms and nestles me safely against his chest. He moves with me as if I weigh no more than a feather; positioning his back against the headboard of his massive bed, before pulling the covers around us.

“Tell me what happened baby…please…if you can.”

I’ve never told anyone what really happened behind closed doors between Gavin and I. But now, in this moment, I need to relieve myself of the baggage and the burden I’ve been carrying around for far too long. Simon doesn’t push me, or even speak another word; he simply strokes my back as I listen to his steady heartbeat, taking comfort and courage from it; he gives me the time I need to formulate the words I’ve never said to another living soul.

“Gavin didn’t
just
cheat on me.” My voice is small and almost unrecognizable, even to me. “When I met him, I was a naïve girl straight out of high school, in love with the fantasy of my new life at college, and what better way to complete that pretty picture than by dating the most popular, dreamy guy on campus. All the girls loved him. He had a way about him, no matter who he was talking to he made them feel like the only person in the room. When he asked me out on a date I was so excited; every freshman girl wanted to be me.

We started dating and for the first few months my life was close to perfect. We’d said ‘I love you’, we made love, and everything about him drew me in; made me believe he was ‘the one’. As time went on, he started to change; he wasn’t quite so attentive, and I would notice him looking at other girls, not even trying to hide it. Then he started asking for things in the bedroom that I just didn’t want to do. At first he just sulked about it, was nasty to me, or just plain ignored me for a few days. Then…”

The words start to choke me, the memories suffocating me as I gasp for air. I can feel Simon’s heart hammering in his chest as he tries to give me the space and time I need to continue. “It’s ok baby, I’m right here.” His words give me the strength to continue.

“Then…one night, I caught him kissing another girl. He chased after me, professing his love for me and telling me it was all a big mistake. I wanted
so
badly to believe him, so I let him take me home, but when he tried to kiss me, I burst into tears, so hurt by his betrayal. The look in his eyes was pure disgust as he watched my heart break in front of him.”

I take a deep breath before I continue.

“That was the first night he hit me.”

Simon’s grip on me tightens, his whole body rigid, his toned muscles corded and ready to fight.

“The slaps became punches, and the punches turned into beatings; never where anyone would notice; he was too smart for that. He stopped even
trying
to hide the fact that he was making out with other girls, and by that point I’d started to believe his bullshit lies that it was all my fault - I was too emotional, too frigid, too uptight. If I just did the things he wanted he wouldn’t need to find other willing girls. He started asking for anal sex, which never really appealed to me, but I was desperate to keep him and make him love me again. The night I finally gave in to his demand, it wasn’t a request by that point, I thought things would get better between us; back to the way they were when we first met. It was one of the worst nights of my life.

I could have been anyone; he didn’t care how I felt or how rough he was being with me, slamming into me with no warning, no build up. It was…excruciating…and humiliating. He pinned me to the bed, rutting into me like a rabid dog, over and over and over; so harsh and punishing; pushing my face down into the pillow to muffle my sobs. When he was done…he beat me pretty badly, telling me I better not fucking cry the next time. I was bleeding, sore and torn from how rough he’d been. I was used to the other bruises – ribs, arms and legs; they barely even registered with me at the time.

He took me that way on a number of occasions, every time leaving me broken and bruised, but I still wasn’t enough for him. I walked in on him in bed with another girl. I had convinced myself that he was just fooling around with other girls, and that he would NEVER sleep with them, especially after I gave him what he wanted. It was the last straw for me to see him naked and bucking wildly inside another girl…I took my final beating that night when he caught up to me. It was the worst beating of them all; I ended up in the ER, alone and too ashamed to call Lily or my family. A week later, after I had recovered, I filed a restraining order against him. I didn’t tell the police about the attack, I didn’t have to. I had enough evidence in texts and threatening voice messages to have the order enforced with immediate effect. I haven’t seen him since.”

The silence is deafening as Simon’s body vibrates against my own, and when he finally speaks, his voice is a low whisper, hoarse; more menacing that I’ve ever heard him.

“He fucking raped and beat you.” I can hear the pity in his voice, and see it in his eyes. He thinks I’m completely broken.

“He didn’t rape me…I…I let him do those things to me.”

He stops me; his tone stern.

“He sexually assaulted you. You didn’t want it, he knew that, and he did it anyway. And then he fucking beat the shit out of you. Fucking hell…I need a minute. I’m so sorry Jess.”

I knew he would pull away when he realized just how damaged and fucked up I am. My heart shatters into a million tiny shards in my chest. “I understand. I’ll go.” I move to find my clothes and leave the safety of his apartment, unable to stand the way he’s looking at me.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. I can’t stand to see the pity in your eyes.”

“Fucking PITY? Are you shitting me right now? I only asked for a minute to process everything you’ve just told me, to stay calm for you, and you want to run away…AGAIN? It’s not pity you see Jess, it’s fucking seething rage, it’s fucking undying love…I
love
you…so hard it hurts to take a fucking breath. The idea of anyone hurting you is disgusting and nauseating to me Jess, can’t you understand that? I…LOVE…YOU…JESS…I’m so fucking in love with you.”

His words are a balm to my broken soul; soothing me, healing me, giving me the strength to speak the words I need to say.

“I…I love you too Simon. I’m
in love
with you, but I’m terrified of that feeling.”

“So am I Tesoro. So am I. But I’m
more
terrified of losing you, of losing what we have. Please…trust me. I won’t
ever
hurt you like that. I
promise
.” He cups my face in his warm callused hands, entreating me with his gorgeous brown gaze. “Trust me. Let me help to make this better for you, claim you back from him. You’re mine now Jess. Let me love you the way you deserve; the way I know you
want
to be loved.” I can only nod my acceptance; I’m at a loss for words. Nothing I could say would possibly be enough to express how I feel for this man.

“Wrap your legs around me Jess.” I do as he asks, our naked flesh flush against one another, my breasts tight to his hard muscled chest.

“I want to show you what it can feel like, to be claimed…everywhere.” I understand what he’s asking, and his face is telling me it’s completely my call, he won’t push me.

“Do you trust me Jess? I’ve wanted to do this with you for a long time, but now, it seems so inconsequential to me. I don’t need it to be happy with you. I won’t think of you any differently if you don’t want to do it. But I DO want you to feel that every part of your body is
yours
. Not marred by anyone else. Every inch of you is beautiful Tesoro…inside and out. I want to help you claim that back, for
you
, for
us
.”