Embracing the Wolf - Book #2 (Anna Avery) (27 page)

You thought you could overpower me? ME?
I heard the voice again, laced with anger and empowerment.
You threaten my life, my Chante’s? Disgusting parasite.

With the speed of the wind, my wolf lunged, landing on top of Veronica’s screaming body. With one arm, she couldn’t hold back the weight of my wolf. I saw the defeat in her eyes right before she let her arm fall to the floor, and I sunk my teeth into her jugular. With a jerk of my head, Veronica’s screams cut off. My wolf spat out the chunk of flesh and began scanning the cave for Taren. Somehow, we knew he was gone. He had left Veronica behind, knowing if he didn’t, he would pay with his life, too.

Smart, for a bloodsucker
, the voice said.

Who … are you?
I thought and then immediately wondered if I was having a conversation with myself. Adam had told me that my wolf and I were not two separate entities after all. He told me that we were one, and I just hadn’t connected with my animal side yet. Was I connecting with it now? Was this how all werewolves felt while they unleashed their beasts?

I am she. I am you
, the beast replied.
You and I have been destined since the day of your birth. You are destined for greatness—for power yet to be seen—as the ruler of tooth and claw, a Leader to rule them all. Now is the time for embracing your wolf, dear Anna.

Wha—I don’t understand,
I sent the thought to the voice, still feeling slightly crazy for having a conversation with myself.
I don’t want to rule them all.

A soft chuckle floated through my mind.
You will … you will.
That was the last thing my wolf said before I felt myself changing back. The power rushing over my skin subsided into a gentle throb as my human side emerged.

I knelt on all fours, hanging my head as I tried to catch my breath. Digging my fingernails into the dirt, I closed my eyes and fought off the waves of dizziness clouding my head. Something felt different, but I couldn’t identify what it was. I wasn’t even sure how I felt about it. Should I be frightened, excited? Indecision caused my mind to blank as the last effects of my wolf left my body.

I stood on wobbly legs, naked and sweaty. My eyes flicked to Veronica’s dead body. Flaps of bloody skin hung from the hole where my wolf had ripped out her throat. My hand went to my stomach as nausea churned like an angry sea. I lurched forward and covered my mouth with my palm. As I continued staring at Veronica, I noticed the thick pool of blood soaking into the ground beneath her, and that’s when I lost it. I turned, bending over and vomited until I got everything out.

When I was done being sick, a strange calm washed over me. I glanced at Veronica again and wiped the spittle from my mouth. No emotions occurred when I looked at her. My chest rose and fell heavily as a warming sensation climbed through my chest and settled in the spot over my heart. The oddest sense filled me. I wasn’t sure, but it felt like entitlement and pride. Slowly, a smile crept onto my lips, and I headed toward the mouth of the cave.

I walked up the long dirt drive that led to my house. The breeze played along my body, carrying away the heat from my skin. I raised my head and closed my eyes as the sun warmed my face. Birds chirped in the nearby trees and the scent of wild berries and honeysuckle filled my nostrils. I was blissfully happy, fulfilled.

“Anna?”

I opened my eyes to find Chelsea standing in the yard, gawking at me. I smiled and kept walking. I could feel eyes heavy on me, but I didn’t stop to pay them any mind. There was only one pair of eyes I needed to see. Whispers and whistles sounded behind me and as I climbed the steps of the porch, the door swung open. Adam stared at me with surprise, his blue eyes tinged in yellow. My smile grew as I climbed the steps toward him, but when I reached him, he didn’t greet me the way I wanted him to. Instead, he gripped both of my arms and held me away from him. I furrowed my brow, confused, and tried to push forward, but his grip was steel.

“What the hell happened, Anna?” he asked, his voice steely.

I tilted my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“You’re naked,” he said, his eyes taking in my body. “And … what is that?” He nodded toward my chest.

Looking down, I saw the angry red lines of a design positioned over my heart. Dried drips of blood caked my skin around the design. Looking at it upside down, I couldn’t be sure what the mark was.

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I shoved forward again, needing to feel Adam’s arms around me, but he still held me at arm’s length. I glowered at him and slammed my arms down to break his hold.

“What is wrong with you,” I said.

“Me?” Adam said with surprise. “What is wrong with you? You’re not acting like yourself. The last time I heard from you, you said you were leaving the cave. I thought … I thought you were dead. I couldn’t feel you, and you wouldn’t respond to me, and now you show up naked with a strange mark and your eyes—”

“What’s wrong with my eyes?” I snapped.

“They’re bright orange, Anna. What happened in that cave, what did you do?”

I huffed and shoved past him, heading into the house. As soon as I stepped foot into the living room, the wolves stopped moving. They stood still, their eyes widening as they watched me walk through the house. I walked through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bathroom. When my eyes met my reflection, a smile was back on my face. My hair was longer, shinier, and streaked in white. My eyes were indeed orange and bright as though a light was shining from the inside out. I dropped my gaze to the mark over my heart. It still looked a bit messy with the dried blood so I grabbed a washcloth and held it under the faucet, bringing it up to clean it. I could feel Adam’s presence before he shut the door and stepped behind me.

“Anna,” he said in a softer voice. I met his eyes in the mirror. “Please tell me what is going on, Chante.”

I dropped my eyes to the mark and continued washing away the blood. That other voice—my wolf—sounded in my head.

Your destiny awaits.

“It’s true,” I murmured.

“What is?”

My eyes flicked back up to Adam’s. I tried to ignore the worry etched on his face and the … fear in his eyes. It didn’t matter, though; his emotions slammed into me as if they were my own. He was afraid, whether of me or for me was still unclear.

“The myth, it’s true. I am the white wolf.” I brought my eyes back to the mark, now clean of blood and dirt. It was a paw print with a crown hovering over the tips of the claws, but that wasn’t what was odd. A reddish glow seemed to emanate from the tattoo. I trailed my fingertips over the design, and it was hot to the touch.

“Leader of tooth and claw …” I whispered.

“Anna,” Adam breathed, backing away from me. He ran a hand over his face and sat on the side of the tub, resting his head in his hands.

“Why are you frightened?” I asked, turning around. “Do you not think I am deserving?” A bit of anger laced the last part of my sentence.

He looked up, his face almost haggard looking. “I can’t feel you like before,” he said. “All I feel is … I don’t even know how to describe it. It feels like emptiness.”

A jolt of awareness shook me. “What do you mean? You don’t … love me anymore?”

He gave me a sad smile. “No, Chante, I will always love you. I don’t feel
you
. I can’t sense what you’re feeling or thinking. When I try, I just feel … emptiness. How did this happen?” He waved a hand toward me to signal my changes.

“I killed Veronica and two others,” I said. “Taren got away, though.”

His eyebrows rose as his eyes expanded. “That’s it, you killed three vampires and you turned into this?” Again, he signaled toward me as though I was some freak in a carnival sideshow.

“This,” I snapped, “is my destiny. It’s what I was always supposed to be. My wolf told me so.”

Adam’s face contorted into a mixture of surprise and confusion. “Your
wolf
told you?”

I nodded, turning toward the mirror again. I grabbed the brush and began running it through my hair. “It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, Adam. When her voice first sounded in my head, it scared me, but I feel it now.”

Adam stood and walked behind me. “Feel what?”

I met his eyes and smiled. “Power. It’s unbelievable, Adam. It courses through my veins like wildfire, intensifying everything: sounds, touches, scents. Make love to me, I want to feel you inside of me.” I moved toward Adam, but he took a step away from me. That hurt more than I cared to admit. The energy racing through my body demanded that I get angry, but seeing Adam step away from me only made me feel sad.

“I’m still me,” I said. “I am just more powerful now.”

Adam released a breath through his mouth that sounded like an exasperated snort. “Don’t you even care that I’ve been searching the mountain for caves all day, that some groups are still out there searching? Doesn’t it bother you that I can’t feel you anymore? How can you stand there and act like everything is okay? Nothing about this is okay, Anna.”

“Why,” I shouted, “because I’m not helpless anymore? Are you really so insecure that a powerful woman frightens you? This damsel is no longer in distress, Adam.”

Sadness consumed his features. His eyes softened, and his lips parted slightly. He began to reach an arm out to me, but dropped it before he touched me.

“I never thought of you that way,” he said. “You have never been weak in my eyes, but this … it’s driving a wedge between us. What I don’t like is that you don’t seem to notice it.”

Something splashed onto my cheek. I brought my fingertips up to find tears were falling from my eyes. This both confused and awakened me. With each teardrop that fell, I started to feel more like myself. It was like a veil had been covering my eyes and, ever so slowly, it was lifting. The rush of power was still strong, but not as overpowering as before. I blinked away the tears and felt that calming sensation wash through me.

“I’m still me,” I said, but I wasn’t sure if I was telling Adam or myself. I repeated those words in my head over and over.

I’m still me. I’m still me. I’m still me.

“I can’t undo what’s been done,” I continued. “I have a purpose, and I can’t shut my eyes to it, Adam, but,” I stepped away from the sink and moved toward him. He didn’t back away this time, and the butterflies swirling in my stomach did a happy dance. I wound my arms around his waist and rested my face against his chest. “I will try to not let it pull me away from you.” I looked up at him. “I am still and always will be yours, until you no longer want me.”

They will
all
want you.
A voice remarked in my head. This time, I tried to ignore it instead of relish in the power behind its words.

“That will never happen,” Adam said. “We’ll research this, and see if there’s a way to—”

“What?” I said, stepping away from him. “Get rid of it? If you love me, you will love every part of me. This is not something I can get rid of. I was meant to be this, the Leader of tooth and claw.”

“Leader of tooth and claw,” Adam said with exasperation. “What does that mean, that you’re going to rule all the werewolves?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I said, “but I do know that there is no cure for
this
.” I signaled to myself as Adam had done. “Just this once, be on my side. Support me and my new path.”

Adam gave a humorless laugh. “I’ve
always
been on your side, but I will not let this … mark … change the Anna I know and love. You said you’re still yourself, but it scares me how much you’re not. You look like my Anna, but you don’t feel like her.”

We stared at each other wordlessly, the silence louder than any words spoken. My heart jumped in my chest beneath my new tattoo, and while I felt all-powerful and entitled, seeing how tormented Adam was caused all that empowerment to wane. My heart raced not out of anger, but heartache. An internal battled waged inside my head, one side screaming that I do whatever Adam wanted and find a way to fix this, and the other side resenting him for turning this monumental moment in my life into something bad. It didn’t feel bad. It didn’t even feel wrong. I wasn’t drunk with the power or on a rampage to make all the wolves cower at my feet. Why couldn’t he see that the transformation I’d gone through as a good thing? Nobody would ever look at me and mutter that horrible four-letter word again—mutt. I was no longer just a dirty blood or a made wolf; I had been chosen for a coveted spot in our rankings, a ruler among the children of the moon. As my mate, shouldn’t he be proud of me?

“I can leave,” I finally said.

Adam snorted again and shook his head as though disgusted with me. The butterflies in my stomach dropped dead with his reaction.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” he said. “Could you really leave me so easily, walk away from all of this?”

“Can you stand to live with me, to love me as though everything is normal?”

“Everything isn’t normal, Anna,” Adam shouted. “I want the old you back.”

I was quiet for a moment while I gathered my thoughts. On my walk back to the house I had envisioned our reunion, and thought of all the ways we would kiss and embrace each other. Seeing his reaction now left me stunned and pissed. It didn’t just hurt—it crushed me.