He unlocked my door and dragged me inside.
„Stay in here. We"re going to the volcano in an hour. Until then, don"t leave your room.
Can you manage that?"
„You can"t just order me around, Lincoln!" I said, ripping my arm out of his hold.
„Actually, I can. Griffin left me in charge. Right now, you have to accept that there are people here who know more that you do, have more experience than you do and might have good reason for not involving you in certain things."
„What? So you want me to pretend I just didn"t hear you talking about launching some kind of army? Stop treating me like a child?"
„Violet, I just caught you spying on a private meeting. If you don"t want to be treated like a child …" he clenched his jaw for a moment, and looked away from me. „Stop acting like one."
I was speechless. He had never spoken to me like that before. Lincoln was understanding, he included me in things, encouraged my opinion. He"d never told me to stay away before, even when it meant I could be in danger. And he"d
never
called me a child. It was almost as if he deliberately said the one thing he knew would upset me the most.
He went back to my room and didn"t turn round to face me when he stopped to say, „Just stay in your room … please."
I wanted to tell him to go jam his head up his ass. I
wanted
to fight back and stand up for myself, but I was so stunned I couldn"t manage anything more than the meek, „Yes," which fell from my lips.
-
After pacing the room for a few minutes, I collapsed onto my bed and put a pillow over my head. I had an hour until we were supposed to meet downstairs.
Of course, the minute I stopped seething about Lincoln and closed my eyes to finally get some rest, I felt the room change, like it had lifted off the ground. I was so tired, my body lethargic, wanting to stay still. This time it was easier for me to break the hold of the spell, but it was also physically draining. I just didn"t have the energy, which wasn"t good, considering I"d already had a visit from Uri. It had to be Nox on his way, distorting my reality to make room for his.
I pushed the pillow off my face and tucked it under my head. Okay, so not the most defensive move, but an improvement.
This time, the sands cascaded down from the walls until Nox appeared, standing beside Steph"s bed.
He looked the same, and yet different. There was the smoothness he always had - the easy look of someone inviting but with an ulterior motive, always working an angel. Then there were his clothes. Unlike Uri he enjoyed the material aspects of humanity and today he was indulging in a to-the-ground slim-fit black tunic that was tapered at the waist and had a raised collar.
Please.
I rolled my eyes.
„It is very Matrix, don"t you think?" he asked, not coming any closer, displaying the same repulsion towards me as Uri had done.
I wondered fleetingly what he"d do if I sneezed on him. Probably run screaming.
„If you"re going to offer me a pill that lets me live in ignorance - I"ll take it."
This earned a smile, though not a very warm one.
„I"m tired, Nox. I"m sure you have something completely messed up to tell me, but honestly, I don"t care.
„You do look below average. Even for you."
I pushed up onto an elbow. He was eyeing off Steph"s bed. „You know what? You suck."
Not my strongest ever comeback.
I could see the same movements in the background behind him as I saw each time he or Uri visited. They were so delicate - translucent forms like jellyfish, but when my eyes focused on one spot they seemed to dissolve and re-form in another place, still moving ad if trying to go somewhere.
Searching.
Nox watched me and followed my gaze. „You see them?" he asked, trying to hide his interest.
I nodded.
„They call to you?"
„I … I don"t know." And yet I did feel a distinctive pull towards them. „What are they?"
„If you are meant to know - you will."
„Like I said, you suck."
He raised a single eyebrow and then motioned to Steph"s bed. I collapsed back onto mine as he slid down onto the other, lying on his back and carefully positioning himself in the middle.
Weirdo.
„I have never been told that before," he said, preoccupied with testing the springs.
„Well, you do. All of you, actually, angels in general - suck. We"d be better off without you."
He laughed lightly and it was a clear warning. I felt his presence terrifyingly close to me, despite the fact that he hadn"t moved an inch.
„Without us, you would be nothing more than lowly beasts. It is only though us that your dim minds have the faculty of higher intelligence. Without is, you would still live in trees until the larger, more territorial creatures wiped you out."
I didn"t have a response for that and from the way he said, I was fairly certain one would not be welcome anyway.
„Would you get off my best friend"s bed?" I settled for.
„Did you like my gift?" he taunted, not moving.
„I"m sorry?"
„Oh, I know, it was a shame I could not be there . Uri insisted on taking the first visit this time and I missed my chance to talk to you in the dress, but I watched. I believe I made a significant improvement. Would you really have attacked that girl?" he asked, smiling.
The dress. It was him.
„How…? Josephine arranged the outfit."
„Yes, but coincidence is my speciality. You didn"t really think it was only by chance that the dress you swooned over while in the presence of darkness would not come to show you its favour?"
„I … „ I sat up. He raised his eyebrows, watching how easily I was now able to move in this twisted reality. „What does that mean?" I asked, starting to panic. „Why would darkness favour me?"
He chuckled. „Fear not." He sat up, too. „Remarkably comfortable," he said, marvelling at the bed. I glared at him and he flicked a hand to one side, bored wit giving explanations.
„You are so easy to influence, Violet. Really, it makes working with you so entertaining.
Especially when I have the pleasure of wondering just where that will of yours might take you next. How
was
Phoenix by the way?"
„You think I should go with him?" I whispered, afraid of the answer.
This seemed to bring more joy to Nox than anything.
„The better question is - if you thought it
was
what I wanted you to do, would you do the opposite simply to prove a point?"
„Get out!" I hated the way he twisted everything, made me feel guilty when I hadn"t done anything wrong. Nonetheless, his words struck a chord. I didn"t wan the favour of darkness, nor did I want to walk right into its traps.
„Certainly." He stood in a fluid graceful movement, though, as he did, one of the many small buttons on the front of his jacket popped off. Instinctively, I caught it before it hit me in the face. Nox watched, perplexed by this new imperfection in his outfit, but recovered quickly. „Before I go, I wonder … if you could have something you desire greatly, something that has been denied you … if that were available - would you consider opening the gates of Tartarus yourself?"
„No."
He smiled knowingly and left, the sand melting back into the walls and the indent from his weight on Steph"s bed disappearing completely.
I opened my hand. Just like the grains of sand, the button had stayed behind.
I can keep things
.
Nausea stopped any further thought. I rolled over and closed my eyes but then had to keep going, rolling off the bed. I made it to the bathroom just in time. The combination of fatigue and realm crossings was not kind to my stomach and I felt like there was nothing left of me after the third time I had thrown my head over the toilet.
Eventually, I crawled back to bed, wondering if I should tell someone about these otherworldly visits. But then I remembered the way Lincoln had spoken to me, his orders to stay put, and my stomach lurched again, so I settled my head on the pillow, kicking my shoes off and decided, spitefully, to tell someone.
Later.
„
This place was filled with nameless and unfathomable
activities, and it had terrible, fascinating menace."
Simon Winchester
I sat at the less crowded front end of the boat. I was grateful, for its size, even if it was just another display of excess by Josephine - it made it easy for me to escape from everyone. Well, everyone but Steph, of course. She hadn"t bought my story about just being exhausted, though it was true. Mostly.
Kaitlin and Samuel had seen us off at the Marina and after their initial shock at discovering that Josephine had sent Lincoln and me to an incubus, explained what they knew.
„Irin must have fed on your emotion and energy, which is very dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced incubus," Kaitlin cautioned.
At least I knew that Irin was definitely
not
an amateur.
„Direct contact with them is really dangerous, Violet!" Samuel snapped. „You two should have told us."
I gulped and refrained from sharing the fact that he"d barely touched me. Lincoln had made sure of that.
Had he known? Was that why he stepped in last night?
Lincoln had looked fatigued this morning. Now, sitting on the boat. I tried to look over my shoulder, discreetly, as if taking in the views from the bow. He was talking to Max while leaning against the side railing, as if resting. But when I looked more carefully, I could see he had a white-knuckled grip on the railing and his brow glistened with sweat. He was working hard just to stand. When Josephine beckoned Max over to her and he and walked away. Lincoln"s relaxed face contorted briefly exposing his agony, and his body folded over before he could stop it.
Irin had said Lincoln was the best source of emotion. I didn"t know why, but he"d fed off him severely.
My shoulders sagged and I groaned. I wanted to be mad with Lincoln for all the things he hadn"t done last night, for the things he"d said last night
and
this morning, but seeing him this way, all I could do was worry for him.
Lost in my thoughts I didn"t realise I was staring until he caught my eye and straightened.
I could tell he was about to come over. I looked away and quickly jumped into conversation with Steph, who"d insisted on staying glued to my hip today. I didn"t look back again and he didn"t come over.
It hurts too much to be close.
And it did. Literally. The pain encompassed my entire body. Maybe I was losing my mind, but I was sure that the sharp spasms I was feeling intensified whenever I was near him.
The boat was an old-style wooden vessel, highly polished so that it gleamed under te morning sunlight. With its three crisp white sails it was perfect and made me want to point it towards the horizon and let it take me wherever it so desired.
I laid back and closed my eyes.
„Are you going to tell me what"s going on?"
I lolled my head to the side and squinted to see Steph, „What do you mean?"
She pushed her sunglasses up onto her head. „Is this the brightest place you have ever been or what?" she asked, looking directly into the sun. she didn"t wait for my response. „I know you didn"t come back to our room until this morning. Max told Salvatore that you got back with Lincoln just after midnight. I get the whole Keeper thing, which is just wrong, by the way." She threw a severe look in Josephine"s direction. „You should"ve told me, you know, but either way you were still missing for a long time. What gives?"
I closed my eyes again and felt the warmth from the sun.
„Nothing gives. I was upset after having to see the Keeper and didn"t realise he had taken so much of my energy. I went up to the rooftop to clear my mind, but I fell asleep.
When I woke up it was already morning and I came back to our room. I see you weren"t alone anyway," I added, raising an eyebrow. I"d noticed the extra pillows and blankets.
„He was on the floor," Steph said false dignity.
I smiled. „Yes. But was he always there?"
Steph elbowed me but then I felt her slump beside me.
„Actually, yes. He was paranoid all night that you"d walk in at any moment and accuse him of stealing your best friend"s honour."
That made me laugh out loud. Steph too.
„Where is your Italian stallion, anyway?" I asked, between snorts.
„Josephine sent him to collect Academy arrivals. A plane is due about now."
„I don"t trust her. There are too many things going on we don"t know about." I cast a worried glance in her direction and then towards Lincoln.
As we neared the volcanic island of Nea Kameni, the boat dropped its sails and everyone moved to get a better view of what at first just looked like a large mound. When you think of a volcano, you expect something dramatic with gigantic peak, but this … this was desolate - ashen, black and rocky, the only signs of life coming from the fine carpet of red moss, bleeding from barren Earth. I shivered at the sight, knowing what secrets lay beneath, and fought the urge to scream at everyone to leave this place.
When I walked past Lincoln, I stopped, pulling out a bottle of Coke from my bag to which I"d already added a few extra spoons of sugar at the hotel. Finding the ginseng had been more challenging, but an accommodating kitchen-hand had gone on a mission and returned with something that smelled about the same. The syrupy coffee in the morning had worked wonders and I"d already had one of my concoctions since then, so was feeling better again.
„Here," I said, holding it out to him.
„No thanks," he said, looking at me strangely. Lincoln didn"t usually drink fizzy drinks.
I pushed it towards him again. „It helps."
He took the bottle and studied the bottom where a clump of sugar hadn"t dissolved.
„What"s in it?"
„Sugar and ginseng." He gave me another odd look from beneath a furrowed brow.
„It works."
„Who told you that?" he asked, his eyes fixed curiously on me.
I froze, trying not to give away my surprise at the question, „Kaitlin," I said, after barely a pause.