Echoes (23 page)

She found her way into the kitchen, where Jessica was grabbing a bottle of salad dressing from the refrigerator. “We’re eating outside,” she said. “I didn’t know if I should disturb you. Were you getting in a little nap?”

“Not really. Just thinking.”

An expression of concern covered Jessica’s face. Her body language said,
I know. I understand
. All she verbalized was, “If
you ever want someone to sit by you while you do your thinking, I invite you to call on me. I used to do my best thinking at the cemetery, all alone. But I know some people are better at thinking when they have a user-friendly shadow.”

“Thanks. I might take you up on your offer. Can I help with anything?”

“No, everything is out there: fresh veggies from our garden and a big salad, and Kyle has some chicken going on the barbecue.”

Lauren followed her out the back door on to a large wooden deck. Three round tables with big canvas umbrellas were positioned across the deck like a European sidewalk cafe. Kyle stood over a huge, built-in brick grill, a long pair of tongs in his hand. Gordon and Teri flanked his sides, offering cooking suggestions.

It was a beautiful August evening. Turquoise blue skies, swept clear by the summer breeze, faded into dusk and then to night. They sat around the table talking until the stars came out. Most of the conversation was about Teri and Gordon’s wedding until Teri asked why Lauren hadn’t been able to come at the last minute. She felt so at ease with these four that she told them her disaster of ending up in Fairbanks. They all laughed, even Lauren.

Thoughts of KC wouldn’t go away. When they finally started to clear the table and go inside, Lauren drew up the courage to ask Kyle if he had a computer.

“Yes. And you might be interested to know I got it from my brother.”

“My brother gave me mine, too,” Lauren said. She wasn’t sure how to ask if she could borrow his computer to send an e-mail letter. Not that she knew yet what she would say to KC. But she needed to know that, if she thought of something, she could send it to him before she went home to Nashville.

“You want to see it?” Kyle asked.

“Sure.” She followed him through the elegantly decorated parlor and into a dark library with bookshelves to the ceiling. He went over to the impressive mahogany desk, snapped on the green banker’s lamp, and lowered himself into a tuck-and-roll burgundy leather chair. Kyle showed her his laptop while rattling off some of the facts about his particular model, which meant nothing to her.

“I mostly use it for e-mail,” he said.

“Me, too,” Lauren agreed. She still didn’t know how to ask if she could use it. Maybe tomorrow, after she had composed a letter in her mind. “This is a fabulous office,” she said, looking around. One book caught her eye. She walked behind the desk and had a closer look. “May I look at this?”

“Sure. That’s Jessie’s. She collects antique books.”

“Really? I do, too.”

“Then you two should talk. She would love to tell you about them. Every book has a different story about where she bought it. I think most of the ones on that shelf she picked up at Oxford.”

“England?”

“She went to school there.”

“Really? Your wife is an amazing woman.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Kyle said with a proud grin.

One of the inset lights in the ceiling suddenly flashed and went out. Kyle went over to the library ladder on wheels and rolled it to the side of the tall bookshelf where the light was located. “I should have guessed this one was about to go,” he said, climbing up toward the light. “I just changed the one next to it last week.” He was on the third rung when the phone rang. He kept climbing as it rang again.

“Can you grab that Lauren? Everyone else is probably outside.”

“Hello?” she said, thinking she should have answered with “The Buchanan Estate” or something impressive.

“Hi, Jessie,” a male voice said. “It’s me. Is your big ugly gorilla home?”

“Uh, just a minute.” She covered the mouthpiece and said to Kyle, “It’s some guy who wants to know if a big ugly gorilla is home.”

“That’s Kenton. Tell him he’s a bum for not coming.”

Lauren hesitated.

“Go ahead. Tell him.”

“Um, Kyle says you’re a bum for not coming.”

“Oh yeah? Well tell him he’s a bum for not calling me back like he said he would.”

“He says you’re a bum for not calling him back.”

Kyle took out the bulb and shook it by his ear, verifying that it was burned out. “Well, you tell him if he wanted to talk to me he should have done it in person.”

She didn’t have the receiver covered that time.

Kenton said, “I heard, I heard. Tell Freddy the Fireman …” He paused and then said, “Why can’t he come to the phone so I can tell him myself?”

Feeling part of the conversation now, Lauren said, “He’s up a ladder at the moment.”

Kenton started to laugh. “That’s sounds about right. Is there a cat in a tree or something?”

“No, he’s changing a light bulb. I may need to call 911 if he electrocutes himself,” she said, watching Kyle balance at the top of the ladder.

“This isn’t Jessica, is it?” Kenton asked.

“Ah, no. I’m a house guest.”

“Oh. You must be the one they were going to try and fix me up with.”

His words halted her.

Kenton’s voice took on a serious tone as he said, “Look, I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, and you sound like you’re a lot of fun and everything, but I’m kind of in a complicated relationship right now, and this whole fixing us up thing wasn’t my idea. That’s part of the reason I didn’t come, if I can be honest with you.”

She couldn’t answer.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you with what I just said. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what they told you about me. But, well …,” he stammered. “I’m … ah, I’m not looking to start anything, and I thought that maybe they thought I should be.”

Lauren still had no response. All she could think was that a complete stranger was rejecting her over the phone.

“Are you still there? Ah, what was your name?”

“Lauren,” she articulated, suddenly finding her voice. “My name is Lauren, and if you’re going to be so arrogant and rude to a person over the phone, you should at least know her name!” She hung up the phone with a bang.

Kyle had descended and stood still before the desk with a look of wonder on his face. Then, tucking the light bulb under one arm, he slowly began to applaud.

Lauren slumped into the chair and buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. You gave him exactly what he needed and exactly what he deserved. And that is why I applaud you.” He kept clapping.

“No, don’t,” Lauren said, looking up and holding out her hands, motioning him to stop. “I don’t like what I just did. I’m sure he was trying to be as considerate as he could. I overreacted.”

The phone rang.

“I think you had better answer it this time,” Lauren said, excusing herself and returning to the kitchen.

Jessica stood over the dishwasher, pouring in the detergent.

“Can I do anything to help?” Lauren asked.

“It’s all done.”

“Where are Gordon and Teri?”

“They went for a walk. How are you doing?”

“Well, for starters, I yelled at your brother-in-law over the phone and hung up on him.”

“You did?” Jessica’s eyes grew wide as Lauren explained what had happened. “He’s really a nice person,” Jessica said. “I like him a lot. I’m sure he was trying to be considerate of your feelings even though it came out in an awkward way. He’s usually very articulate.”

“He was articulate, all right. The problem was me. I felt he was rejecting me, and I couldn’t handle it. I mean, the guy doesn’t even know me, and he was rejecting me.”

“I can see how you might feel that way,” Jessica said. “I wonder …” Her thoughts trailed off.

“What?”

“Well, I was thinking about what we were talking about this afternoon. It seems that the thing we resent happening to us becomes the thing we end up doing to someone else, unless we face our own pain head on and stop the cycle of hurt.”

“Or the hurt runs you over,” Lauren said.

“That can happen. But I don’t think it has to.” Jessica reached over to the window sill above the kitchen sink and picked up a stack of cards. “These are the promises I go back to. They’re what keep me from being run over, I guess.”

“May I see them?” Lauren flipped through the handwritten verses on the cards.

The first one read, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5.” And the others: “I have called you by your name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1.” “Wait for the Lord; be strong
and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14.” “The Lord has been mindful of us; he will bless us. Psalm 115:12.” “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. Psalm 27:10.”

“I keep a few in my purse and a few by our bed,” Jessica said. “Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed, I find a piece of God’s Word to cling to. I never thought of it this way before, but these are sort of like safety air bags for me. Sometimes I do get hit head-on with past hurts, but these verses keep me from being destroyed. I still get bumped around, but I’m not demolished.”

Lauren didn’t know if she had ever admired anyone as much as she admired Jessica at this moment. “That’s a great idea.”

“On a couple of them, I wrote on the back what the verse means to me. Here.” She reached for the top card, flipped it over, and read aloud, “God, my heavenly Father, has promised that he will never leave me, or ignore me, or pretend I don’t exist. Even if no one else ever loves me or cares about me, God does.”

Lauren smiled.

“And this one,” Jessica flipped to the next card with the verse, “I have called you by your name, you are mine.” She turned it over and read her paraphrased promise. “Every single time you play Red Rover, Red Rover, I will call out your name, Jessica. I will call out, ‘Red Rover, Red Rover, send Jessica right over!’ I will always do this because I want you on my team every time we play.”

Lauren felt a lump in her throat. Jessica smiled and handed her the stack of cards. “Would you like these?”

“I couldn’t take them. They’re yours,” Lauren said.

“I don’t mind sharing.”

“Maybe I could copy down the verses and think through
for myself what the promises mean.”

“Some index cards are in the top drawer over there,” Jessica said. “Please feel free.”

“Thanks,” Lauren said. “I do feel free here.”

Kyle entered the kitchen and said, “Lauren, would you mind picking up the phone? Kenton wants to talk to you.”

She gave Jessica a glance, let out her breath, and said, “Okay.”

“There’s a phone here, or if you would like you can use the one in the library.”

“This one’s fine.” She picked up the phone and said, “Before you say anything, I’d like to apologize for overreacting. I’m sorry.”

He seemed caught off guard. “Hey, I was the one who was out of line. I apologize.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Well, good night then,” Kenton said.

“Good night.” She hung up the phone and turned around. Kyle and Jessica had slipped out of the kitchen. In the quietness she could hear Gordon and Teri’s laughter floating in from the swing on the front porch.

She picked up the stack of verse cards she had left on the counter and read through them once again. They all reflected a loving, patient, and kind God who wanted to have a close relationship with her.

She thought of how KC had said he was a patient man. Would her deserting him at Multnomah Falls have a fatal effect on his long-suffering?

T
eri and Gordon’s wedding reception began at noon on Saturday and lasted far into the night. It seemed to Lauren that every Glenbrooke resident came, and each of them brought a gift. Teri and Gordon spent more than two hours seated in a white wicker love seat under a shady elm tree opening the gifts. Each item seemed to have been selected as a special expression of love for the couple. Lauren met dozens of warm, wonderful people, including a Mr. McGregor who was the school principal. He said he would be delighted to keep Lauren’s resume on file in case they ever needed another English teacher.

Teri had said at dinner the night before that she loved Maui and couldn’t wait to return there with Gordon, but at the same time, a part of her would always remain here, in Glenbrooke. Now Lauren knew why. The people of this town loved Teri, and they had no problem showing an equal amount of love for Gordon. He comfortably rolled through the day, taking everything in stride. Lauren could see why Teri loved him and why
they were so good for each other.

Sometime during the evening Kyle started a campfire in a pit out back in a wide clearing. A group of teens from the youth group had gathered around the fire to roast marshmallows and sing. Lauren felt compelled to join them even though she wasn’t a teen. Something about the words they sang drew her to the group; the thoughts were so pure and right. She felt a spiritual responsiveness stir inside her that she hadn’t experienced since her high school days.