Authors: James Runcie
Eventually Krystyna's friends realised that none of them knew where she was. She did not answer to anybody. She had forgotten her father's birthday. No one had seen her.
It had been a month. Hospitals were checked. The Edinburgh flat was searched. Krystyna's bank was asked when and where she had last withdrawn any money.
Friends and colleagues were asked when they had last seen Krystyna and why she might have gone missing. Then one of her friends mentioned Jack. He had been, she told the police, âmost attentive' after Sandy's death.
â“Most attentive”,' the policeman was saying. He was sitting in Jack's kitchen, having refused a cup of tea.
âI wouldn't put it like that.'
âBut that's how it was put. What do you think her friend meant by “most attentive”?'
Jack wondered how many times he was going to repeat the phrase.
âI did have a reason to see her.'
âOf course you did. It was an unfortunate incident. You were very unlucky.'
DI Morrison asked when was the last time Jack had seen Krystyna, what her state of mind was at the time, what clothes she was wearing, whether she was on any medication (antidepressants?), and if she had told him where she was going.
âShe only stayed a few times.'
The policeman asked how long they had known each other, when exactly she had stayed with Jack, and if she had communicated with him since she had left. It could be that he was the last person to have seen her. Had she left anything behind, had he taken any photographs of her, and did either he or she keep a diary?
âWhy do you need to know all this?' Jack asked.
âI'm trying to assess the level of risk.'
DI Morrison asked for a description and Jack realised how unobservant he had been. He could just about manage âcollar-length dark-brown hair, a lightly tanned complexion and green eyes' but he had to think about whether there was colouring in the hair or highlights, if she had any marks, scars, tattoos or distinguishing features. He hesitated over her height and weight, he did not know her shoe size, and it took him a long time to remember that she wore contact lenses. He was pleased that he could say what she had been wearing when she left: the jeans, the lime-green singlet and the cream linen jacket, but he did not know any of the brands or labels and it was only afterwards, when the policeman had gone, that Jack realised that he had failed to mention the birthmark on her arm.
âIs that everything?' the policeman had asked.
âSo many questions.'
âWe need to do everything we can to ensure that your friend is safe.'
Your friend.
âOf course.'
âWas there anything in her state of mind that might lead you to believe she would put herself in danger?'
âI don't think so.'
âHad you had an argument?'
âNot an argument as such.'
âAs such?'
âYou know what I mean. She left.'
âNo, Mr Henderson, I don't know what you mean. What was her state of mind when she left?'
Jack realised that he had yet to define what it had been like. Perhaps Krystyna had been relieved to go.
âI would say resolved.'
âResolved?'
âSad but resolved.'
DI Morrison was confused.
âThey seem a bit different to me. You don't often see people who are sad and resolved at the same time, do you?'
âThat's the only way I can describe it. She likes mystery; people not knowing where she is.'
âDo you know if she's gone missing before?'
âPerhaps.'
âPerhaps?'
âIt seems possible. But I don't know her very well.'
âOh come on, Mr Henderson. If you didn't know her very well then what was she doing in your house?'
âShe needed space, time, a place where she could escape.'
âDo you have any male students to stay or is it just the girls?'
âShe's not one of my students. She's too old. It's not like that.'
DI Morrison noticed the pictures of Maggie and the children on the kitchen dresser.
âIs that your wife?'
âWe're divorced.'
âAnd your children have left home?'
âThey have.'
âThey must be about the same age as Miss Gorski.'
âNo, they're younger.'
âHave they met her?'
âMy whole family have met her. My parents, brothers. Not my wife.'
âOf course,' DI Morrison conceded. âWell, I may have to have a little chat with them. I'll need their addresses.'
âDo they have to know about all this?'
âYou don't seem to understand, Mr Henderson. If your friend is missing, and there are suspicious circumstances, then the whole world is going to know about this. Not just your family.'
âBut there aren't any suspicious circumstances. I'm sure she's just gone away somewhereâ¦'
âWell, if you're sure then there's no need to worry. The only problem is that I need to be sure too. It can'tjust be you that's sure, you see? That isn't quite enough for us.'
Jack could see that DI Morrison was irritated.
âIf we get a response when we put out an appeal then there's no need for any alarm. But if there's no response, and we can't find her, then things may escalate quite a bit.'
âEscalate?'
âWe have to do everything we can. You're not planning on going away anywhere, are you?'
âI don't have any plans.'
âBecause it would be good to let us know if you were going anywhere far. Just in caseâ¦'
âI'll just be here,' said Jack. âI'm always here.'
He was given a more senior officer.
âIt's important that we look at all the possibilities,' Chief Inspector Murray informed him.
âYou don't mind the tape recorder, do you? I know you've seen one of these before.'
âBut not in these circumstances.'
âI'm sure you normally try to avoid them. But these things happen, don't they? How well did you know Sandy Crawford?'
âI thought this was about Krystyna?'
âIt is.'
âI didn't know him at all.'
âThe problem is that I'm not sure we really believe you, sir.'
Previously Jack had been called âMr Henderson'. Now he was âsir'.
âBut why would I have come across him? How could I possibly know him?'
âAnd you never met Miss Gorski before the first incident?'
âOf course not.'
The Chief Inspector started to write in his notebook. It seemed odd, given the fact that he had the tape recorder. Perhaps he didn't trust it.
âWhen did you first sleep with her?'
âI didn't.'
âWhat day of the week was it?'
âI said I didn't.'
âIn the daytime or at night?'
âLookâ¦'
âIndoors or outdoors?'
âI have not slept with her.'
âI find that hard to believe.'
âIt's the truth.'
Chief Inspector Murray leant forward.
âPerhaps you would like me to spell this out. This is what troubles me, Mr Henderson. A young man is hit by your car.'
âHe threw himself in front of me.'
Chief Inspector Murray appeared to be changing facts that had already been accepted.
âA young man was hit by your car. It looks like suicide but perhaps we have been a bit hasty in thinking like that. Perhaps it wasn't suicide at all?'
âHasty? This is ridiculous.'
âLet me go back to the beginning, Mr Henderson. A young man was hit by your car. His girlfriend is seen with you shortly afterwards.'
âAt the funeral. It wasn't “shortly afterwards”.'
âThere may have been other times.'
âThere were not.'
âI don't know that though, do I?' Chief Inspector Murray continued. âAs I said, you were seen with her shortly afterwards. If you knew her before, perhaps the young man found out about it. Perhaps he was jealous. Perhaps they had a row. Whatever happens he finds himself under
your car.
Perhaps you and the girl needed him out of the way.'
âThis is absurd.'
âThe girl comes to live at your house.'
âShe was just staying with me temporarily, that's all.'
âStaying or living? It doesn't make much difference, does it? Like many things in this case, it's all kept a bit of a secret, isn't it?'
âNot really. My family knew.'
âThat's as may be. The fact is that her family did not. She doesn't tell anyone, as far as we can gather. Her father in Poland begins to worry because she doesn't return his phone calls. In fact he worries so much that he calls his daughter's friends and then they call us. Then, and what makes this even more strange, the girl really does go missing. No one knows where she is. And your story is a bit, well, shall we say, “hazy”? Would that be the right word?'
âI've told you everything I can.'
âYes, but each time you remember a little bit more. And now I've begun to outline some of the possibilities, I hope you realise that we might need to keep having these little chats. Perhaps you can see why it doesn't look very good for you, Mr Henderson? Perhaps
you can understand why your memory needs to improve and why, perhaps, you might need a lawyer?'
âI'm as worried about Krystyna as everyone,' Jack said.
âWe're all worried about her, Mr Henderson. That's why I'm here. That's why we're all here. And that's also why we are going to have to search your house. And, I'm afraid, your garden.'
Jack was surprised by the numbers. The search team began inside the house with an open-door investigation, inspecting cupboards and wardrobes, the loft and cellar. They looked under beds and behind furniture, pulling out clothes, crockery and Christmas decorations, looking for hiding places, signs of Krystyna, evidence of crime.
Outside, and within what the Police Search Adviser called âthe curtilage' of the home, men with dogs fanned out in a spiral, first in the garden and then outside its walls, looking down on to the ground, picking up objects and inspecting them in gloved hands before discarding, tagging and bagging.
They found a pair of flip-flops, a plastic water bottle and a lipstick-stained cigarette end.
Jack was asked to wait on the terrace. He remembered Krystyna bringing him a drink in the early evening after one of their swims.
Nothing can add beauty to light.
Chief Inspector Murray came out to ask, âIs this hairbrush Miss Gorski's or does it belong to one of your daughters?'
âKrystyna may have used it. I don't know.'
âAnd the toothbrush?'
âIt's mine.'
âYou use a pink toothbrush?'
âI didn't think about the colour.'
âWell, I suppose you've got more important things to think about than toothbrushes.'
Jack called Tessa for legal advice and asked her not to tell his father. The request was ignored.
Ian Henderson telephoned immediately.
âWhat the hell is going on, Jack? Why didn't you tell me about this?'
âThere's nothing much to say.'
âWhere is she?'
âIf I knew then everything would be all right.'
Jack could hear his father's breathing become theatrical: the slow intake and the infuriated exhalation.
âI don't know. First your brother Douglas deliberately throws away his marriageâ¦'
âHe's told you then?'
âNo, of course he didn't. Emma told us. We haven't seen him for weeks. But that's not the point. That's not why I'm ringingâ¦'
âI know. I'm sorry.'
âWhat happened? Your mother was always worried Krystyna was too youngâ¦'
âIt wasn't like that.'
âDid you have a row?'
âNo. I don't think so.'
âYou don't think so? It's so hard to get a straight answer from any of you.'
Jack tried to listen to his father.
âWhat am I supposed to say then?'
âTell them the truth, of course. Provided you've got nothing to hide.'
âOf course I haven't.'
Ian sighed. Jack could tell that he did not want to get into an argument.
âYou'll just have to keep ringing her until she answers.'
âI don't think there's much chance of that. She's probably thrown her phone away.'
âI thought young people were on the telephone all the time?'
âNot Krystyna. She's different.'
âShe's certainly that. Sometimes I wish you'd all just stuck to the relationships you started with. Only Angus seems to have managed to do that.'
âWe don't do it deliberately, Father.'
âI know you don't. But it's so upsetting.'
âYes,' said Jack. âThat's what people keep telling me.'
Ian wanted to make his position clear, summing up his own phone call.
âYou must inform the police about everything. Are you sure Krystyna hasn't done herself harm?'
âI don't think that's likely.'
âAnything's possible.'
âI know ⦠but not Krystyna. She's too wilfulâ¦'
âYou think you know her well enough to be sure?'
âYes,' said Jack, âI think I do.'
âWell, I hope you're right. Let me know if there's anything I can do. I don't want any more of your silences. Tessa can always sort out the legal sideâ¦'
Jack wished everyone would leave him alone. He should try to work, he decided, even if he could not concentrate:
Praeterea pro parte sua, quodcumque alit auget, redditur.
For every benefit requital must be given.
He kept stopping, unable to find his rhythm:
Ut noscas splendore novo res semper egereâ¦
He thought of each word in turn:
You may see things need light ever new. Things for ever need renewal of shining.
The phrases did not fall as he wanted them. Perhaps he needed to be less literal.