Earth Angel (The Kamlyn Paige Novels) (2 page)

“Honey, no
matter what you do we will always love you. Your father and I will help you
through this. Don’t worry.”

I smiled back at
her as she kissed me on the forehead. I guess they just needed some time to take
in the life altering news of becoming grandparents at the age of forty. From
that day on, my parents fussed over me night and day. They never left me alone,
which for most eighteen year olds would be a nightmare, but I knew it was how
they showed their love and approval for me and the baby. My mom drove me to
every doctor’s appointment, and my dad was willing to run to the store at all
hours for any cravings I had. As my belly expanded, they became more and more
excited to meet their grandbaby.

During my
seventh month, my parents finally showed their trust in me again. They went out
on a movie date together for the first time since I told them I was pregnant,
promising to bring me back some leftovers from the snack bar. I loved when my
parents kissed and held hands before their dates. They had been married for
twenty years and I still saw the love they had for each other. I hoped one day
I could have that as well. As they were walking out the door, my mother turned to
me.

“Are you sure
you don’t need us to stay?” she asked with a concerned look on her face.

After I
reassured her several times that there was no need to stay, they were out the
door. I sat on the couch alone that night, eating popcorn out of a bowl that rested
on my enormous stomach. As I watched old reruns of ‘Gilmore Girls’ and snacked,
I thought about what kind of mother I was going to be. Everyone says they won’t
be the kind of parents
their
parents were, but I had always gotten along
with mine. I really appreciated everything they had done for me. Turning out
like them wouldn’t be so bad. I sat engrossed in thought of my life in the very
near future for over an hour when the doorbell rang. I struggled to get off the
couch and waddled over to the door where two policemen stood with grim faces.

“Are you Kamlyn
Page?” the taller officer asked.

He was exactly
what I pictured when I thought of the word ‘cop’. He had short, dark hair
hidden under the black uniform hat and a matching dark mustache. His hands were
placed on his belt as if at any moment he might decide to hike up his pants and
question my attitude.

“Am I in some
sort of trouble?” I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows from confusion.

I hadn’t done
anything to get myself into trouble with the law my entire life. Well, Rob and
I had gone skinny dipping in Lake Michigan once not too far from home, but that
was ages ago. How would they even know about that?

“I’m sorry,
Miss. Your parents were in an accident tonight.” My eyes grew wider in fear as
he continued to speak. “They were hit by a driver who fell asleep at the
wheel.”

He waited for my
reaction, but when it became obvious I didn’t fully understand what had
happened, the second officer, who was a shorter man with red hair and a
sympathetic face, put his hand on my shoulder.

“They didn’t
make it, Miss. I’m so sorry.”

The next few
minutes were a blur of hysteria. My lips quivered and tears streamed down my
cheeks. I thought my knees were going to give out, and they probably would have
if the red-headed officer hadn’t taken hold of me. He hugged me and rubbed my
back, trying his best to consol me away from having a panic attack. Once I
calmed down enough to breathe normally, they sat down on the couch with me and
proceeded with the details. I didn’t say a word. I just stared absently as they
explained everything again.

After they were
done and I appeared to be calm, I assured them I would be okay as I walked them
to the door. Before I had the time to work myself up into more tears after they
left, the doorbell rang again. Cara stood on the doorstep. She wore pink
pajamas with pictures of sweet treats all over them and her golden blonde hair
was pulled back into a messy ponytail.

“I waited till
the cops left to come over. Is everything okay?”

A tear slid down
my cheek as I explained what had happened to my parents. Cara’s soft, brown
eyes began to cloud as well. She pulled me in for one of her patented
‘Everything will be alright, just let Cara fix it’ hugs as I wept. We had been
friends since the first grade and she knew my parents as well as her own thanks
to over a decade of sleepovers. I knew hearing the news wasn’t easy for her
either, but she put on a brave face for me.

“Kamlyn, I am so
sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

She led me to
the couch and sat close to me. We stared in silence for what seemed like
forever. I knew she was wondering how I could be so calm. Inside I felt like my
heart was breaking. The numbness of being in shock was the only thing keeping
me together. Images began to crowd my head, the next one more horrible than the
last. I wondered if my parents saw the crash coming, if they suffered, if they
felt horrible pain before they died. I wondered if they had thought about me
and the baby before they were taken.

“Well, I guess
the only thing to do now is to have me move in,” Cara said, shattering the
silence.

I was grateful
to have such a caring friend. Her parents had raised her with the heavy hand of
the bible and even though I wasn’t anything close to being a religious person,
I could always appreciate her desire to help others. I told her I would love to
have her move in as soon as she could. I knew the minute I was alone, I would
break down again. I would cry till it felt like my eyes were going to float
away in a river of tears, scream till my throat was hoarse, and throw things to
release my pent up rage at the cruel hand I was dealt. But I had to be strong,
though, if not for me then for my baby. Over the next week we moved all of
Cara’s belongings into my old room and I moved into my parent’s room. It still
felt wrong to be in there without their permission, as every child feels when
entering their parents’ personal space.

Everything was
left exactly as it had been when my mother and father was there; a pile of
star-studded magazines sat on one night stand while a pair of glasses and book
sat on the other. I stared at their belongings for a half hour, unsure of how I
was supposed to pack away their life and replace it with my own. I sat on the
edge of their bed and let the tears flow down my cheeks as I put the boxes
together. I knew my parents would want me to continue to live my life to the
fullest and not let their passing break me down. Knowing this didn’t make what
I had to do any easier, though. Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to do
it, I wouldn’t be able to pack their things away for storage, Cara came into
the room. She rested her hand on my shoulder, letting me cry as long as I
wanted.

 If it wasn’t
for Cara, I never would have been able to get the ball rolling on turning their
room into my own. I probably would have crawled under the sheets in their bed,
pretending they would be home soon. I would have stayed there for days, forgetting
my responsibilities to my baby and Cara and the house, sinking deeper into my
sorrowful depression. But Cara picked up the boxes I had put together and
headed over to the dresser underneath the window, opening the drawer and
looking back at me for reassurance she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries by
touching my parents’ things. I nodded through my tears and the reality of
packing away the life I used to know and love began.

For the last two
months of my pregnancy, Cara and I started new. With the baby coming soon, I
focused on getting the nursery ready and getting myself ready as well. It was
very possible that I had read every parenting book ever written. Cara had even
read a few of them to prepare herself as well. She was a very simple person
when it came to what she wanted in life. She never had any plans to go to
college. She was content working at the fifties diner in town and being there
for me and the baby. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any talents or ambitions;
just that she was content being a simple person, with a simple life.

The only silver
lining to the tragedy of the last few months was that my parents had made some
wise investments in my schooling, even grad school if I had wanted to go. Even
the house was completely paid off and left to me so we were guaranteed a place
to live. They had taken my baby’s needs into consideration and set up funds for
schooling, any money necessary for him to pursue any education he could dream
of; private pre-school, private school, prep-school, college (Ivy league or
not), grad school, anything he could fathom. That combined with both of their substantial
life insurance policies had set me up with a nice financial nest. In fact, it
was more than a nest. If I lived simply in the way I always had, I would never
need to work again, or at least until I was middle-aged. Of course, I would
want to dedicate my life to something worthwhile and make a career out of it,
but it was nice to know I could afford to be a stay at home mom for my baby for
a few years without having to worry about how to support my little family. I
read that the bonding experience of the first few years of the new baby’s life
is something that can never be replaced or recreated down the road. I wanted to
be the best mom I could be.

Cara was there
for me while the lawyers discussed my inheritance from my parents and asked
many questions. I had thought of most of the questions beforehand and was sure
of myself to keep composure, not realizing that during the process my mind
would be drawing a blank. I should have wrote everything down, but since I had
been able to keep steady in public the past week or so, I thought I would be
able to with the lawyers as well. But from the moment I shook the woman’s hand,
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over the
brim. My throat closed up as I choked down my overwhelming sadness. I don’t
know how I would have gotten through any of it if it wasn’t for Cara and her
positive attitude. Afterwards, during our daily breakfast, she sat at the
kitchen table twirling her honey golden hair in between sips of coffee. This
routine continued every morning. She would assure me that things would get
better and she was right. As I lay in the hospital bed with my new baby boy in
my arms, I knew everything was going to be different. I brushed my cheek
against Danny’s and breathed in his wonderful powdered smell. I stared into his
rosy face and knew it was the first time I had ever felt true love.

*

Time flew by so
fast once Danny came into my life. The first year of motherhood was tiresome
and trying, but it had its unforgettable moments. As Danny and I practiced
standing up on the floor of his sunny yellow nursery, he smiled up at me and
giggled. I knew he was excited to try new things and explore new places, just
like his mommy had been.

I scooted away
slowly and let go of Danny’s tiny hands. He looked down with his brilliant blue
eyes and then back into mine with a surprised, elated smile. He had never stood
that long all on his own and he knew that was something to be proud of. He
picked one foot up and stomped it down in front of the other. As he rejoiced in
giggles at his accomplishment, his curly blonde hair bounced all around. I
danced around, clapping over my son’s success, when Danny’s face turned to
surprise. He waved his arms around to catch his balance. Just when he thought
he had steadied himself, he fell backwards. His butt plopped onto the crème
colored carpet with a soft thud.

“Don’t worry,
little one. It still counts,” I said with an overly exaggerated grin on my
face.

Danny responded
with a toothy smile and a silly giggle before he pushed himself off the floor
to try again. That kid had determination.

*

Year five proved
to be the hardest year for me, though. They always say it is the terrible twos
parents should fear the most, but Danny had always been a mother’s dream; quiet,
respectful, curious. I spent five years doting on him and caring for my
handsome little man. I spent every minute making sure he was safe and happy,
but those days were behind us.

It was Danny’s
first day of kindergarten. This was the first time my baby boy had ever been
away from me. I knew there were supposed to be some tears on the first day of
school, but I was blubbering. I hugged Danny tight, silently letting the tears
roll down my face as he fit his tiny arms around my neck. He looked all grown
up in his button down blue plaid shirt and little brown corduroys, but to me it
still felt like I had just brought him home from the hospital. How was I
supposed to send my baby away to spend the whole day being watched by strangers?
My brave boy backed away from me, wiped the tears from my face with his soft,
little hands, and spoke softly to me.

“It’s okay, Mommy.
You don’t have to worry about me.”

Without control,
a grin pulled at the corners of my mouth. I’d never expected to raise such a
wonderful son, but there he was. He was so full of confidence and love,
something I had appreciated in his father when we were together. I usually only
saw what
I
gave my son through parenting and dedication, but he still
had bits of Rob in him, making me cherish him all the more.

I stood up,
pulling my hair into a ponytail. Danny waved goodbye enthusiastically as he
walked into the chaotic classroom of screaming children. One last tear rolled
down my cheek as I watched the doors close behind him. The hardest part was over.
I wiped my face and took a deep breath before heading back to my old pickup
truck, knowing my little man would be okay without me.