I laugh again, because this is what I want.
I don’t want Trisha to get weird around me. I don’t want her to
pity me. I want her to treat me just like this, just like she
always has.
Then another thought hits me, causing my
laughter to die in my throat. “Dylan isn’t coming back over though,
right?”
Her smile falls, and she eyes me closely. “I
don’t think so, but please don’t tell me he’s been voted off the
island.”
“He won’t understand this, Trisha.”
“You haven’t given him the chance.”
I look at her as if she has completely lost
her mind, because I’m afraid she really has. “What chance should I
give him? The chance to know everything that has happened to me?
Or, maybe the chance to know that my daughter is a product of rape?
Oh, wait, how about the chance for him to completely tear me apart
when he walks away because I can hardly stand to be touched?”
I didn’t realize that my hands had started
to shake right along with my voice as I spoke. Now, Trisha is
looking at me with pity. I really hate that.
“Don’t, Trisha. Don’t look at me like that.
I’m just being realistic. In order to have a relationship I would
have to be open. I really don’t think Dylan is the relationship
type to begin with, let alone under these circumstances.”
Trisha’s face morphs into an angry glare
that causes me to take a step back in shock. I’ve never seen Trisha
with so much as a scowl aimed in my direction. “So what, Raven? Are
you just going to live the rest of your life alone? You turn
eighteen next week. Do you even realize how young that is? Maybe
Dylan isn’t the relationship type, but he won’t hurt you. He’s not
Steven. Not every man is like Steven!”
Her voice is getting louder with each word
she hurls in my direction. “I understand if you need time—if you’re
not ready, and so will Dylan. If you give him the chance. At least
let him know you’re not ready. You don’t have to tell him
everything. You don’t even have to tell him about Harper, but you
should tell him that you’re willing to get to know him better. If
he walks away, then fuck him because you deserve better. How can
you push him away without giving him the choice. Did you ever stop
and think that maybe he likes you for more than that beautiful body
you were blessed with?” Her blue eyes are practically pleading with
me by the time she finishes, and her voice has diminished to a
quiet whisper.
I’m completely speechless, and thankfully, a
knock comes from downstairs saving me from having to respond.
Trisha rolls her eyes as she starts to walk past me but stops and
pulls me into a tight hug instead.
“It’s your call, but I don’t want you
missing out on something great because of something you had no
control over. I love you so much, Raven. I only want you to be
happy.”
I nod, but words are still evading me.
Trisha sighs as she releases me to head downstairs. After I hear
the door close downstairs, I amble to my room. Trisha’s words run
on a loop through my mind. I think I’m more shocked by the fact
that it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. What would Dylan do if I
told him I wanted something with him, but wasn’t ready to be
anything more than friends? Would Dylan be my friend? Are guys like
Dylan even capable of being friends with girls?
I flop down onto my bed, trying to work it
out in my head. Would I be able to be friends with Dylan? I know
I’m not ready to be anything more. If nothing else, this afternoon
proved that to me. Yet, I can’t deny that I am attracted to him.
Could I handle seeing him with someone else? If we were friends, he
could be with whomever he wanted. He could introduce me, and I
would have to be okay with it.
A weight drops into my stomach, and I know I
wouldn’t be okay with that at all. Could I pretend to be okay with
it though? I answer myself with a resounding
doubtful
. I may
not be ready, yet, but I do want him for myself.
How selfish is
that?
I roll my head back and forth over my
comforter as I stare up at my ceiling. I will have to make myself
be okay with it. It wouldn’t be fair to expect him to wait around
for someone who may never be ready to be with him.
A soft knock interrupts my thoughts, and for
a second hope soars through my chest as my pulse hammers excitedly
through me. Then the door cracks open and Uncle Jim steps in. I can
feel the smile on my face fall, and I realize that is not the kind
of reaction reserved for friends. I’m already screwed.
“I’m glad you’re still up, sweetheart.”
Uncle Jim strolls further into the room, and sits down next to me
on the bed causing the mattress to dip slightly under his weight.
“I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” I respond with curiosity clear in my
tone.
This is the first real conversation we’ve
had since we talked to Trisha, and pretending I’m not nervous would
be pointless. So, I study him silently and wait for him to
continue.
“I know that I probably should have talked
to you first, but I felt it was necessary so when I got the go
ahead, I ran with it...” He trails off while rubbing a hand over
his freshly shaved jaw.
I squint at him quizzically. “I am so
confused right now.”
He chuckles, moving to run a hand through my
hair. “I enrolled Harper in a private pre-school academy.” He holds
his hands up to stop me from speaking even though I am rendered
speechless. “Again, I realize I should have talked to you first,
but as I’m sure you’ve probably noticed, Harper is a little bit
behind in her speech development. I had been talking to your mother
about this over the phone for some time now, and she had been
willing to let me pay for Harper’s schooling. So, I filed the
application a while back. I got the call that she was accepted a
little while ago.”
He stops, looking at me with stress and
worry written all over his guilty face. A grin breaks out across my
lips. It’s the only warning he gets before I throw myself into his
arms. His whole body relaxes under me, and he squeezes me back
tightly.
“Thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome, Raven. I have
always tried to take care of you girls. That’s why I gave your
mother so much money.”
I pause, my chest tight as I lean back to
look him in the eye. “What money?”
His dark brows pull down into a frown. “I
was giving your mother a hefty monthly payment. I knew she was
wasting some of it on herself, but I didn’t realize she was using
again . . .” He trails off as sadness overtakes his features.
“I thought she was using the money from
Social Security that she got when Dad died.”
Uncle Jim sighs, running tired hands over
his handsome face. “She was probably using both.” He drops his arms
to hang between his knees before turning his attention back to me.
“I should have never left you with her.”
I shake my head, feeling angry that he is
doing exactly what I knew he would. He’s blaming himself. “This is
no more your fault then mine. We can play the what-if game, or the
wish-I-would-have game, but the end result is still the same. We
just have to learn to accept it.”
A small grin tugs at the corner of his
mouth. “When did you get so wise?”
I just shrug on a small smile as he leans
over to place a kiss to my head before standing.
“I’m so glad you’re both here.” He says
softly.
“Me too.”
“I love you, sweetheart.” Uncle Jim says as
he walks to my bedroom door.
“I love you too.”
With a soft click of the door, I am alone
again, but now I realize how exhausted I am. My limbs feel heavy,
my eyes gritty, and my breathing has changed. So, I allow my eyes
to fall closed and my body to relax into the best night’s sleep I
have had in years.
Chapter Fourteen
Dylan
I knew it was
risky business crashing at Mom’s house. June is a live-in nurse,
which means she was in a room close by when I flopped down onto the
sofa and fell asleep last night. I half expected to wake up with my
jeans around my ankles and my dick in her mouth, but surprisingly
enough, I wake up to the amazing smell of bacon.
My stomach is growling, my mouth watering,
and I can hear the
hiss
and
pop
of grease before I
even open my eyes. I allow myself to wake up fully before I sit up,
running my hand through my messy bed head.
“Morning, handsome. You hungry?”
I lift my head to look across the room, and
have to swallow back a curse at the view before me. June is making
breakfast all right. She is standing in the kitchen wearing the
t-shirt I discarded before I’d gone to bed—and nothing else. I
mean, she may be wearing panties, but if she is I cannot fucking
tell. Fuck.
I should not be getting hard right now. My
dick needs to learn about the lines it can’t cross. “Nice shirt.” I
respond dryly.
She grins around a mouthful of sparkling
teeth. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. It seems that without it you
would probably be hospitalized with grease burns in places you
really don’t want grease burns. So, clearly you need it more than I
do.”
She turns back to cooking the bacon as she
speaks over her shoulder. “I’ll change before you leave. Come have
some breakfast.”
As if in agreement, my stomach releases a
sound that closely resembles a street fight between alley cats. I’m
starving. I stand and walk to the table. Spread out on the solid
oak surface are pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, and orange
juice. Fuck, it looks good. I think the food might be more of a
turn on than the company. I bend over and grab a piece of bacon,
quickly shoving it in my mouth before moaning in ecstasy at the
flavor of it.
“You’re welcome.” June whispers softly close
to my ear.
“Thanks, that’s really good.” I grab up
another piece and pop it into my mouth as June adds more to the
plate. “I’m heading out of town for a while. Make sure Mom gets
outside some.”
“I will, but we both know it will make no
difference.” Junes stands across from me and doesn’t even attempt
to hide the fact she’s checking me out as she speaks.
Blue eyes roam over my chest, down to my
waist, and zero in on the part of my anatomy I’m not in control of
at the moment. This is my queue to leave. I grab up a few more
pieces of bacon and a piece of toast.
“I’ve got to head out. You can keep the
shirt.” I do a half-assed salute while holding the bacon before I
turn and head out the front door.
I half expect her to run out after me and
try to convince me to give in and fuck her, but she doesn’t. I’m
extremely relieved, because it probably would have worked. Not
because I’m even slightly interested in her, but because I haven’t
fucked anyone since the night after I met Raven. It’s really
starting to get to me if breakfast food has become a turn-on.
By the time I reach the apartment, I’ve
finished off the last of my breakfast. As soon as I walk in, I
glance at the clock above my stove. Seven fifty-three. Well shit. I
yank my cell from my jeans and call Ethan.
He answers on the second ring with a groggy
hello.
“Wake up, princess. Your Pops is going to
kill us for being late.”
“Shit!” I hear as he shuffles around at a
frantic pace on the other end of the line. “I’ll be there in five
minutes, tops, and you better be ready.”
He hangs up. I wish that I had time for a
damn shower. I throw on a fresh shirt that is just as wrinkled as
the one I wore yesterday, slip on my black combat boots, and search
for my extra gun. I pack up some joints, cash, and extra clothes in
my bag. I’m hoping this will be over fairly quick, but you just
never know.
I’ve just finished brushing my teeth when a
loud horn blares outside. I wipe off my face, grab up my bag, and
stumble out the front door. Ethan looks just as frantic as he
sounded on the phone. His hair is a disaster, and for Ethan that
says a lot. I climb in, feeling a huge grin grow on my lips.
His car smells like sex, perfume, and weed.
Either this is where he and Trisha decided to have sex last night,
or Ethan is regretting not having time to shower as much as I
do.
He whips out of the parking spot and speeds
toward the warehouse. When we pull up outside Troy, Kaci, Ardon,
and Ronan are all standing around waiting for us, and when we climb
out of the car Ardon’s gaze narrows on Ethan.
“Damn, boy. You could have at least given
yourself time to clean up if you were going to be late.”
I burst out laughing. I mean, full on belly
shaking laughs. I don’t know why I find this so funny. Maybe
because I know that not looking his best really bothers Ethan, but
thankfully, Troy is laughing just as hard as I am.
“Fuck off, both of you.” Ethan grabs his bag
from his backseat, pops his trunk, and tosses it inside. “We’ll
take my car. I’m not getting crushed in the backseat of that thing,
and Dylan’s lanky ass won’t fit.”
“Shotgun!” I shout a little too loudly,
which garners curious looks from everyone around me. I don’t care
though. I’m pretty sure Ethan fucked Trisha in that back seat just
a few hours ago, I don’t want to be the one to accidently sit in
his spunk.
I’ll leave that to Troy. After all, what are
friends for?
Troy leans down and captures Kaci’s lips.
Not caring at all that her dad is standing right beside them, he
takes her mouth like a man laying claim. As if that’s not enough to
throw in her pop’s face, he presses up against her and groans.
That’s all it takes for Ronan to place his
hand on Troy’s shoulder and shove. “Now, that ye’ve thoroughly said
ye goodbyes. Ye need to get on the road.”
Troy smirks at him before looking back at
Kaci. “Keep that baby in until I get back.”
Kaci’s smile is bright and beautiful. It’s
so easy to see why Troy fell so hard for her. “I’ll do my
best.”