Duskfall (33 page)

When her question was met with silence, Cinzia continued.

“If you desire, you may accompany us. We do not have much, as you can see, but you can help us earn what we need to survive. And we could use your talents should things get… violent.” Cinzia refrained from looking at the vampire. Should Knot decide to accompany them, she could only hope that thing would not come with him.

Knot looked down at Winter. It was the first time Cinzia had seen him look at the woman since they had begun the meeting. Winter just stared into the fire, her dark eyes reflecting the flames.

“I’ve got business needs attending, in the north. But Winter and Lian—”

“We’re going with you,” Winter said quietly. “You’re not leaving me again.”

Cinzia did not know what history existed between the two. Their relationship had seemed strange to her since the moment she first saw them together. Cinzia glanced at Lian. The tiellan man probably did not make the equation any simpler.

“They could imprison you. Kill you,” Knot said.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“They’ll notice you eventually. I can’t risk—”

“I’ll wear a hood,” Winter said. “I’m going with you, and you can’t argue that,
husband
. Lian can do as he wishes, but I’m going with you.”

Cinzia tried to mask her surprise. A tiellan and a human,
married
? It was not unheard of, of course. The ritual was technically allowed in the Cantic Denomination. But Cinzia had never known anyone—from either race—actually willing to
do
it.

“I go where she goes,” was all Lian said.

The tiellans were willing to walk into a country whose people, even more so than Khale, hated their entire race so much that they had driven out or killed every last tiellan decades ago.

“You’re going to find out who you were, aren’t you? To find out why you are the way you are?”

Knot nodded.

“Then I’m going to help you.”

When Knot voiced no further objection, Cinzia took a deep breath. “Very well,” she said. Their business was their own; it was not Cinzia’s place to question it. And she doubted they would cause any trouble for her or her sister in Roden. Cinzia was about to turn to Jane and argue against the idea of going to Tinska when a strange feeling came over her.

She felt, oddly, as if she were meeting a close friend for the first time in many years. She no longer felt in control of her own emotions or movements; she seemed to be looking down at her body from above. Something changed, the air around her moved.

Then she saw the fire. The flames that had been glowing a bright orange shifted, first to yellow and then to green. A deep, glowing green, like the vampire’s eyes. The fire flared, flames licking hungrily outward. Cinzia watched herself rise and take a step back.

Everyone else was now staring at the towering green flames. Cinzia watched both herself and the fire. Her head was angled backwards, her neck craned back, eyes closed. Then, with a snap, her head came forward, and her eyes shot open.

“
Lathe, my son, you have chosen rightly
.” It was Cinzia’s own voice, she was sure of it; she could see her lips moving, could hear the words. And yet it was different, louder, more forceful than ever before. “
Make your way to Izet. Roden is important to my plan, as you will all soon learn
.” Cinzia saw that her own eyes were wide, and glowing green, like the fire. She watched those eyes turn to Jane.

“
Jane, you have been a faithful servant, and you will be blessed if you continue as such. I charge you, along with your sister and my guard, to accompany Lathe and his companions. You both have a great work to do.
”

Cinzia watched herself look around at everyone at the fireside. Her face shone in the eerie green light, smiling. “
You are all important instruments in my plan. You are my children; I am your guide and keeper. I am your mother. I will look after you and keep you, until I come again to the Sfaera. So shall it be. Imass.
”

“Imass,” Cinzia whispered, and then she was back inside herself, looking into the dull orange glow of the fire.

She looked around, in a daze.

Knot swore, and Astrid muttered something that Cinzia did not understand. Everyone looked at Cinzia apart from Winter, who scowled into the fire.

“Cinzia,” Jane said, her voice cautious, “what was that?” Her eyes were wide, her face pale in the firelight.

“I do not know,” Cinzia said. Jane looked at her as if she had never seen her before. “Who is Lathe?” Cinzia asked, looking around.

The tiellans both glanced at Knot, who sighed. “Guess that’s me,” he said. “Might be a name I went by, before.”

Cinzia tried to process what had just happened. She had been outside of herself. Some voice had come from her mouth, calling them its children, calling them instruments. The voice had a plan for them, for the entire Sfaera. And Cinzia had felt like she had just been reacquainted with a long-lost friend.

Perhaps she finally had a way to take control of things.

Cinzia looked up. “I think… I think it was a revelation.”

Cinzia and Jane looked at each other for what seemed a very long time. Everyone else around the fire remained silent, as if waiting for one of them to speak.

Then Jane closed her eyes and spoke slowly. “This was different than what I am used to. It was not the way things usually work.”

Cinzia frowned. Jane could have these revelations, but when one came through Cinzia, it was questionable?

“It was Her,” Cinzia said, suddenly. She was not sure that was right, but she did not care. “We have all been chosen. We, here, are all Canta’s servants. It is a great blessing.”

“Blessings of a dead goddess don’t concern me,” Winter said, her voice even.

Cinzia’s first instinct was anger. Cinzia was a Cantic priestess. She had just had a revelation. How could this girl not believe?

But if she doubted her own experience, how could she expect someone else to believe? What had just happened was nothing like the revelations of old. After all that had happened with her family, with Jane… in many ways, the Canta that Cinzia had always known truly did seem dead to her, now.

Cinzia shook her head. She looked at Kovac. Stalwart Kovac, solid as ever at her side. Looking at him gave her strength. It was time she took action.

“Canta has commanded us to go to Roden,” Cinzia said. The idea was insane. Wandering into Roden with a pair of tiellans was true madness. But Knot and his company were going there, anyway. And, deep down, Cinzia wondered: was there a greater plan? A reason for it all, for them all meeting together in Navone, like this?

“You said we have work to do,” Cinzia said to Jane. “Can we do it in Roden?”

“I suppose we can, on the road,” Jane said finally. “It will not be easy, but I believe it is possible. Assuming we can cross the border.”

Cinzia looked to Knot. Now the real question. “You obviously planned on getting into Roden somehow. Perhaps Canta wills us to accompany you.”

Knot shook his head. “Ain’t no way in Oblivion—”

“We shall go to Roden anyway, even without you,” Cinzia said quickly. “Why not travel together? We can help one another. I carry the influence of the Cantic Denomination. I could get you into places that might otherwise be impossible. Would you then return the favor?”

Knot glanced down at Winter. He took a deep breath, shaking his head. This time, however, the gesture seemed one of resignation rather than refusal. “Ain’t no guarantee we’ll return through Navone. You may have to come back alone, either way.”

The subtext was not lost on Cinzia.
You mean you are not sure you will come back at all.

“We will find our way home,” Jane said.

Cinzia’s eyebrows rose; she had not expected Jane’s support.

“We are about Canta’s will; nothing can stop us save the Goddess Herself,” Jane said, placing her hand on Cinzia’s arm.

Knot looked down at Winter again, placing his hand on her shoulder. “You all right with this?”

“Of course not,” the woman said, standing. “But you’ve all already made up your minds. Do whatever you want.” She walked off towards the small side room where she had been sleeping.

Knot watched Winter go. Cinzia thought, just for a moment, that she was beginning to see what Kovac saw in this man. Despite her initial impression, he might have some good in him after all.

Knot sighed. “She has some issues with the Denomination. Daresay we all do. We won’t be preached to, and you won’t try to save us. We clear on that?”

Cinzia nodded. “Of course.” The conversion of souls to Canta’s cause was the last thing on her mind.

“Then we leave tomorrow night. Be ready shortly after dusk; we’ll be crossing the border at midnight.”

For a moment, no one spoke. Then the group dispersed, leaving only Cinzia and Jane. Jane was gazing towards Winter’s quarters.

“What is it?” Cinzia asked.

“I… I do not know,” Jane said, her voice sounding far away. “There is something about that girl. Something I do not understand.”

Cinzia did not know what Jane was talking about, but she suspected Jane was trying to avoid talking about what had just happened. So be it.

At least Cinzia had a direction, a tangible task. For now, that would have to be enough.

* * *

That night, as Cinzia approached the small room she had been sharing with Jane, she hesitated. Lamplight shone from the doorway. Jane was awake. Cinzia was not ready to have that conversation. Instead, she turned around, walking back towards the large cavern, where embers from the fire still burned dully. Then Cinzia heard a voice from the darkness.

“We need to talk, darlin’.”

She turned sharply, and Knot emerged from the shadows. Cinzia’s first instinct was to run, to get as far away from this man as fast as she could. She wanted to scream for help.

Instead she looked the man in the eyes. “Very well,” she said.

“What happened, earlier?” Knot was perhaps two rods away from her, his face only partially lit. The rest of his body was still cloaked in shadow.

Cinzia thought about repeating what she had said earlier; that it was a vision, a revelation from Canta. It was not exactly a lie.

Instead, she told him the truth.

“I do not know.”

“You don’t know?”

“One minute I was looking into the fire, and the next, it was as if I were… outside of myself. Observing what happened, just like all of you. I do know it was not me who spoke those words.”

“You knew my name. A name you shouldn’t have been able to know.”

Cinzia shrugged. “That is all I can tell you.”

Knot nodded. “You’re telling the truth.” It was not a question.

“I am,” Cinzia said. Why could she tell this man, this stranger, the truth, when she could not tell her own family?

“All right then,” Knot said.

Cinzia was about to say she needed to get some rest when Knot spoke again.

“I’m not takin’ you because of what happened,” he said. “I’m takin’ you because it makes sense to travel together. Fancy fire tricks and voices of goddesses ain’t particularly meaningful to me. You’re coming with us because it’s safer all around, and the moment necessity steps in and tells us to part ways, we will.”

“I understand.”

“Good.”

“Why are you going?” Cinzia asked. “Why Roden? What is there for you?”

“I… lost myself. Need to get what little there is left back.”

“You are not the only one,” Cinzia whispered. She was not sure whether he heard her.

“Roden is a dangerous place,” he said. “You may not survive.”

Cinzia nodded. “I know it is. I do not want to go. And yet…”

“And yet?”

“A part of me thinks it is the right thing. I cannot explain why. There seem to be two conflicting parts of me, two factions vying for dominance. I do not know which is right.”

Knot nodded. “I understand,” he said.

Cinzia looked down. She did not know how, but she knew he did.

“You’re honest,” he said.

“So are you,” she said.

“I appreciate that.”

“So do I.”

“All right then,” Knot said again.

Another moment of silence. Then Cinzia looked back up. “I hope you find what you are looking for,” she said.

But he was already gone.

W
INTER LAY ON HER
cot, staring at the rock ceiling above her. She shifted in her blankets, her body aching. She could move around, at least, and the sharp piercing in her head had reduced to a muted ache.

Truth be told, she didn’t care about the pain. Not the physical part. The pain she feared was rooted in something deeper.

Winter shivered, despite the blankets. It seemed that night was worse than day. No people to keep her company. Even if she never spoke to them, at least they were there.

At night, she was alone. At night, her daemons came.

Murderer
. The voice still whispered to her.

Winter shut her eyes tightly, fighting the terror that threatened to consume her. The moment it won, Winter would be back in the Circle Square. She would relive it all. But she had so little left to fight with. Her father was gone. She had found Knot, but he refused to sleep in the same room.

He had come to her, after the meeting in the cavern, but the encounter had been awkward. He’d sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing his shoulder.

“Still bother you?” She knew his shoulder flared up often, ever since they found him in the Gulf of Nahl.

“Still bothers me.”

They’d sat in silence, and Winter hadn’t known what to say.

Thanks for leaving me.

I’m glad I found you.

I murdered dozens of people yesterday.

“I don’t want you to come with me,” Knot had said.

“You don’t have a choice.” If Knot thought he could leave her twice, he was insane. “I’m coming with you, and so is Lian. And, apparently, so is that priestess and her Goddessguard, and her sister, and that vampire girl you’ve recruited. We’ll all have a wonderful time, I’m sure.”

“Didn’t know this would turn into a Goddess-damned caravan,” Knot had mumbled.