Once they were alone, he took her hand, leaned down, and kissed her cheek. “How are you feeling today?” he whispered meaningfully.
She blushed. “Oh…a little sore, but I’ve never been happier in my whole life.”
“Me neither.” He smiled and gestured toward the sofa. “Shall we sit?”
She nodded, and they did.
“Now close your eyes,” he said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Just do it,” he said, and smiling, she obeyed.
He took out the little velvet box in which the ring sat. “Open them.”
When she lifted her lashes, she drew in a sharp breath. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she met his gaze, wide-eyed.
“I know the matter is already settled, but I thought I’d better make it official.” He paused. “Will you do me the honor, Miss Carvel, of being my wife?”
She looked breathlessly at him and then at the diamond. Leaning close, she pressed a tremulous kiss to his lips. “Yes, a thousand times, forever,” she whispered.
When she ended the kiss, tears glistened in her eyes, but she peeled off her gloves at his gentle urging and let him slide the ring onto her finger.
The band was a little loose, but that could be fixed.
“It’s perfect, Jason.” She stared at it glittering on her finger, then looked at him adoringly. “
You’re
perfect.”
“Oh, far from it.”
“Well, you make
me
perfectly happy.” She took his face between her hands and kissed him with a fervent tenderness that stole his breath away.
Eyes closed, Jason quivered at the bliss of her mouth on his. He never wanted this moment to end.
Especially when the next one was sure to be so much more difficult.
Deep down, he knew it was very wrong of him to have made love to her and to have ensured that he had the ring on her finger before sharing the information he was about to reveal. But he needed her too much. He couldn’t take the chance of her backing out on him, abandoning him. She simply
had
to be his wife. Besides, he had
tried
to tell her on multiple occasions before, but something always kept them from the conversation.
“Darling,” Jason whispered, “there’s something I have to tell you.”
“So serious,” she murmured in surprise. Obviously feeling very fond of him at the moment, she snuggled close to his side, cupping his hand between her own.
He hesitated. She seemed so happy. Should he wait? But if he waited, someone else might tell her about the children before he could, and that would be even more of a disaster.
“Did your club take you back? It seems like Society is happy for us, doesn’t it? I’m so excited! Where do you want to get married? Where shall we go on our honeymoon? We’re going to have so much fun togeth—”
“Felicity, please listen.”
Her face fell and her brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m trying to tell you something very important. And…you’re probably not going to like it.”
“Oh.” She tilted her head and stared at him for a second. “There
was
something else you wanted to tell me last night, as I recall. But we got…distracted.”
She grinned, but his smile was more guarded. She hadn’t wanted to hear it last night, and he had not insisted on making her listen when, perhaps, looking at it now in the bright light of day, he should have.
“Very well.” Her posture straightened. She withdrew her hands and folded them in her lap, obediently waiting.
Jason’s heart pounded. He was terrified of her reaction, but the moment of truth had come.
“Felicity—” He gulped, fell silent, wavered, then decided to just get it over with, and the words tumbled out all in a rush. “I’m a father. I have two children. By former mistresses. My son, Simon, he’s four years old, and my daughter, Annabelle, she just turned two.”
Her jaw dropped.
“I’m sorry I never told you till now. I was embarrassed, and it didn’t seem proper to speak of one’s…one’s by-blows with a lady, anyway. And frankly, you and I haven’t been that close for the past few years. Your brother knows,” he added haltingly.
Felicity gaped at him, speechless.
“The children live with their mothers north of Town,” he added. “I go and see them once a week. That…is what I wanted to tell you.”
“Oh…” she forced out slowly at last, sounding a bit as though the wind had been knocked out of her. “I…see.”
She nodded as the information gradually sank in, but then fell silent, her downcast gaze fixed on her hands, her fingers tensely knotted and her face pale.
“They’re…very sweet,” he offered, on tenterhooks, “though I’m not my son’s favorite person.”
He stopped himself from rambling out of nervousness.
She just looked at him.
“Please—say something.” His heartbeat slammed in the quiet. He held perfectly still, holding his breath. Waiting to hear his fate.
She started to speak, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. “So…when do I get to meet them?”
Jason blinked in astonishment. “W-we could go right now, if you wish.”
Felicity shot to her feet and stood a little unsteadily. “Yes. Let’s,” she said, walking toward the drawing room door with jerky strides.
He stood up uneasily, rather baffled.
No yelling? No tears?
Not even any discussion of this monumental revelation?
“Felicity, I’m sorry.”
She stopped halfway across the room but did not turn to him.
He stared at the graceful line of her back. “Are you…not angry?”
Though she did not turn to him, he saw her spine straighten, saw her square her delicate shoulders and lift her chin. “Jason, I love you,” she said firmly to the wall. “What happened in your life before we…fell in love…well, it’s not my place to judge you. I know you’ve had many women. Everyone knows that. I never thought about it, but it only makes sense that children would be the natural result.”
She turned around and gazed at him from across the room, her eyes looking slightly glassy with shock. “I’m not happy about it, of course. But these children are a part of you,” she said resolutely, “so I know I’ll love them, too.”
He stared at her, incredulous.
He breathed her name and started toward her in amazement. Awash with stunned gratitude, he meant to take her in his arms, but she stepped away before he reached her, stiffening.
Despite her answer, he could see the hurt in her sea-green eyes. It stabbed him through the heart, even though he deserved it.
He dropped his gaze.
Of course.
“Thank you,” he forced out in a low tone.
She granted him a slight nod, seeming every inch a duchess, then marched on to the door, obviously determined to take it in her stride as best she could. “Take me to them.”
He followed her, not knowing what to say. But he hoped to God the tots were in good humor.
Maybe they could charm her. Because it was clear that the future Duchess of Netherford was not happy with him at all.
# # #
Felicity was reeling, though determined to be as supportive and understanding as she could manage. She could barely even remember what excuse she had given Mrs. Brown about why they had to dash off.
Wedding business. A meeting with the priest. Of all the lies to have told! It was the only thing she could think of at the moment. She’d reveal the truth later.
She kept telling herself that she had known what she was getting into from the start with Naughty Netherford, a legend among rakehells. It
was
only logical, given his previous mode of life, that unplanned pregnancies would have occurred. It was hardly uncommon among men of their class, though it was never discussed in polite society.
But as she sat in the carriage, stunned and staring into space, she could hardly absorb the reality of it. How like him to make her head spin this way!
Her deflowering last night, their engagement today. It had barely sunk in that she was about to become his duchess when he sprang this news on her. Could he not let her just be happy for one day?
Sometimes she thought the man was the very devil.
Why had she never heard about these children until now? Even her brother could easily have told her. He had long known of her interest in anything having to do with Jason. But such was the two chums’ loyalty to each other.
Well, she thought, her jaw tightening, these little by-blows of the lusty Duke of Scandal were, no doubt, part of the reason why her brother had wanted to keep them apart.
Oh, but it was awful to think of Jason hiding these two innocent youngsters away like they were a source of shame.
On the other hand, now that she understood what sex truly was, she felt herself getting angrier and angrier about his liaisons as the carriage rolled along.
What he had done with her last night, he had done God only knew how many times in the past with other women. That was the only way the children could have resulted, obviously! The bloody stork hadn’t brought them.
Maybe they weren’t really his, she wondered in dismay. A vain hope, no doubt. She shook her head at herself, ignoring her fiancé’s guilty, anxious gaze, which had been fixed on her for a while now.
She could feel irrationality building in her and tried to contain it. It was unlike her.
Of course, she was perfectly content to meet the tots, but facing their mothers was another story. She already hated them on some instinctual level with a jealous rage. They were sure to be very beautiful. The best bedmates money could buy…
She clenched her jaw tighter. Despite the fact that Felicity knew she was the one Jason loved, the one he’d marry, it made her ill to realize that because of the children, these past concubines of his would have to be tolerated, lurking around the outskirts of their future family for the rest of their married lives.
For that, she was furious at him. For his foolish lack of foresight. For his selfishness. For his overlong period of spoiled immaturity, sowing his wild oats.
She could only hope that Peter would have addressed these faults with him, since he was the only one Jason ever listened to. Not that her brother was much better, if she was honest. After all, Naughty Netherford hadn’t always gone to those brothels alone, to be sure. She wasn’t the most worldly woman, but she wasn’t blind, either. Suffice to say she had noticed that a soldier liked to spend his leave with the ladies, too.
No wonder the two blackguards got along so well…
Feeling ever colder toward her too-handsome, too-experienced, too-seductive fiancé, she said not a word all the way to Islington, the neat, tidy, out-of-the-way neighborhood north of Town where gentlemen of means apparently kept their mistresses. Out of sight, out of mind. How could these women stand to be treated this way?
Meanwhile, Jason kept looking at her nervously. It was bad of her, but angry as she was, she rather enjoyed his mounting worry. She still did not even want to look at him.
How could you do this? Have you no respect for yourself?
And, worst of all, after all the women he’d bedded, did last night with her really even mean anything to him?
A pang wrenched her heart with that thought, though she knew she was going too far. Jason loved her. He did…in his own hapless way, one step forward and two steps back. The bed sport was his forte, not dealing in affairs of the heart. She was well aware of that. And she would help him get better at confronting emotional matters…just as soon as she got over her own fury.
At last, she allowed herself to look over at him. He was gazing hopefully at her, his chocolate-brown eyes full of vulnerability—for once. He did not speak, but the distraught look on his face hinted that, inside, he was desperately willing her to make good on her magnanimous words back at his house. Her brow puckered in resentment of her own noble answer back there. She knew she had said the right and proper thing in the moment—the thing a true duchess ought to say—but she wasn’t feeling quite so generous just now.
Mere moments after hearing his secret, perhaps she had been too much in shock even to
know
what she felt. She still wasn’t sure.
Did he think he could kiss her and give her a diamond and everything would instantly be all better between them?
She just shook her head at him and looked away, refusing to be melted by his obvious distress.
What am I going to do with you?
Was it even safe to soften toward him when he clearly knew so well how to play her? She was well aware he had waited until he got what he’d wanted before breaking the news to her about his children.
She clenched her jaw and stared out the window until the carriage stopped in front of a quaint, roomy cottage.
“Whom are we meeting first?” she asked crisply.
“Simon. Annabelle will still be down for her nap.”
She managed a nod, pained to realize the man she loved had this whole other side of his life that she had known nothing about. She felt bereft.
“And who is the mother, please?” she asked as they got out of the coach. “So I might brace myself.”
“Er, her name is Chloe Moore.”
Her eyes widened as she turned to him. “The actress?”
Oh hell,
flashed through his dark eyes. “You know who she is?”
She nodded and turned away, feeling ill. “Everybody knows who she is, Jason. Your son must be a very handsome boy.”
Her heart pounding, her stomach in knots, Felicity was momentarily mesmerized by the terrible whispers of self-doubt in her head.
I can’t compete with that. I’m just an ordinary woman. She’s a star of the stage. Famous, talented, gorgeous—albeit a walking scandal. Oh, what a perfect couple those two must have been…
Jason grasped her chin gently and lifted her face to meet his gaze. “There is nothing between us, Felicity, except the boy. It was nearly five years ago, and we were bored of each other within a month. She wanted my money; I was only looking for a bit of fun. That’s
all
it was ever meant to be. We had both moved on when she found out she was with child. The timing told her it was mine. Not that there’s any doubt, once you see him.”