Duality: Vol 1, Melancholia (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (14 page)

“I really don’t think she’s that focused on it,” I said.  It was entirely too easy to get Kootch all freaked out.  I really didn’t think Jasmine had to consciously think about it.  It came natural for her.

“Well, for someone not focused she sure is good at it.”

“Maybe she likes you,” I said, pretty sure it was a distinct possibility.  Jasmine tried to act mad at Kootch or like she was mocking him, but her defense of him in front of Brody said a lot.

“What?  You’re nuts.  She’s hated me since we were like five.  Kindergarten.  One day we’re best buds playing in the mud and shit and the next … bam.  I’m out and I suck.  No explanation.  I had to play with Richie, the retarded kid down the street, for a whole year.”

I had to laugh.  He sounded so offended.  “She told me
you
stopped playing with
her
.  And that’s not very nice, you know.”

“Ha.  That’s bullshit.  Don’t fall under her spell, Rae.  She’s a liar.  And Richie’s cool.  He was fun.  But he knows he’s retarded.  It’s not like that’s news to anyone.”

I play-frowned at him.  “You don’t really mean that, do you?  About Jasmine being a liar?”  I wasn’t even going to get into it about his complete lack of political correctness.  I had a feeling I’d be wasting my breath.

He looked uncomfortable.  “Maybe not the liar part, but the spell part?  Yeah.  She’s a witch.  Or a voodoo guru.  I’ll bet she probably has about five Kootch dolls at her house, and all of them have pins in the ass.”

“Number thirty-eight!” yelled out an employee standing at the counter with a tray in front of him.

I held up my receipt.  “That’s me.  See you at the table.”  I took the tray with two shakes on it and left Kootch standing at the counter with his conspiracy theories.

Jasmine a witch?  Ha. 
Something told me if that were true, Kootch would have already been turned into a toad.

I glanced back to make sure I hadn’t offended Kootch by just walking away, and noticed Brody and Derek were walking over to join him.  I hesitated halfway to the booth, wondering if I should go back and keep the mood happy between Kootch and Brody, but when I saw Malcolm sitting all by himself over in the corner, I couldn’t
not
go.  Whenever we were alone he ran, so this was my chance to try and talk to him without Kootch constantly interrupting.

I put my tray down on the table and stood at the end of it.  I was going to take the seat across from him, but I had a flash of boldness and sat down next to him, forcing him to slide over.  Now he was trapped into a conversation with me. 
Perfect. 
I smiled, pleased with myself and my slick move.

As our bodies touched on the sides, I instantly felt the warmth from his leg and arm move into me and spread towards my core.  And then I smelled his cologne or maybe it was his deodorant, and it reminded me that he was all-guy.  I breathed in the scent of him and smiled at how all these sensations added up to an absolute thrill, just being able to sit by him.  It struck me for a split second that maybe this is what other people felt when they came near me.  Before my mind could go any farther down that path, Malcolm spoke.

“You can sit over there if you want,” he said, looking across the table.

“You’d rather sit next to Kootch?”  I raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, no.  Good point.”  He gave me a half smile.

I put my straw to my lips, hesitating for a moment before I took a sip.  I swallowed the little bit of ice cream I’d managed to work up the fat straw and said, “So what’s the deal?  Why are you always so anxious to get away from me?” 
There.
  I said it.  I clamped down on the straw again and sucked for all I was worth, trying to distract myself from my boldness with the job of making thick ice cream move.

I had no idea where my sudden bravery or this recklessness was coming from.  Things were somehow making me forget that getting close to people is and always had been dangerous.  I should run.  I should leave this place and my shake behind.  But I wasn’t going to.  Just for now, I was going to go with the flow.  Some weird vibe was telling me to engage, to fight the fear and ignore the feeling that told me this was going to be a bad, bad decision with terrible consequences.  I must be losing my mind.

He scoffed at me.  “Right.  What?  Afraid of you?  You’re nuts.”  He grabbed Jasmine’s straw off the tray and banged the end on the table, forcing the wrapper off.  He put the end of the straw in his mouth and chewed on it, not looking at me.

“No, I’m not.  Look … even now you won’t look at me.”

He huffed out a breath and turned to face me.  “I’m looking at you.  See?  No big deal.”  His face turned pink, and he turned away.

“Do it for fifteen seconds,” I dared him, my breath coming faster.  I didn’t know why this felt so risky.  I was just asking him to look at me.  What’s the harm in staring into each other’s eyes, dreaming of a life where things could be different and I could actually…?

“That’s dumb,” he said, looking down at the table, chewing on the straw like he was planning to ingest it at any second.

“Then do it.”  I lowered my voice.  “Unless you’re afraid.” 
Challenge proposed.

He slowly turned his head to look at me.  “Maybe I am.”  But he held my gaze and drew the straw out of his mouth.

Challenge accepted.

The white and yellow striped plastic slid out of his mouth through his dark red lips.  His tongue came out to lick the tiny droplet of spittle that the straw had left behind.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I started to lean in towards him, not even knowing what the heck I was going to do once I got close.  It was like something else was in control of me, making me forget every risk that ever followed on my heels, every dangerous thing that could happen as a result of letting someone fall under my spell.

Malcolm didn’t move back like I expected him to.  He just stared first into my eyes and then at my lips.  His tongue came out to lick his bottom lip nervously when I was just inches away.

“I haven’t played the death stare game since third grade,” said Jasmine, dropping into the booth across from us.  “Kootch never could win at it.  Too freaked out about people being close to his face.”

I jerked back away from Malcolm, smiling and fake-laughing past the awkward moment.  It is very possible that I might have actually kept going and kissed Malcolm if Jasmine hadn’t come along when she did.  Right in the middle of the McDonald’s. 
What was I thinking?  I’d have to move from this town in less than a week!  A new record of awfulness!

I shook my head, trying to get the mist out of it. 
What in the heck is wrong with me?  Do I have a death wish or something?
  I could turn him into a Rainbow with one touch and screw everything up with everyone.  No more hanging out in gym.  No more trips for milkshakes.  No more anything.  I scooted towards the edge of the seat, trying to be as casual about it as possible. 
He’s trouble.  He’s a death wish.  Stay away from him.

Kootch arrived at the table and took the spot next to Jasmine, dropping the tray down with a clatter, totally oblivious to the tension and fear that was pulsing out of me in waves.  He pushed Jasmine over with his hip, not even looking at her while he did it.

“Here you go,” he said, taking a shake off the tray and putting it in front of Malcolm.  “Chocolate shake for you and Meal Deal for me.”  He hurried to open up his hamburger box.  Lifting out the monstrosity inside, Kootch stared at it for a few seconds, an expression of great anticipation lighting up his face.  “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”  He dove in and took a huge bite.  A combination of ketchup and mustard oozed out around the sides of his mouth, some of it dripping to the white box below.

“Oh, geez, Kootch!  Hello, table manners?  Ever heard of them?”  Jasmine threw a few napkins in his general direction, clearly disgusted.

“Wha?  Whaff’s da probwom?”  A piece of lettuce fell out of his mouth and landed on the edge of the tray.

I giggled at Jasmine’s horror.

“I can
see
in your
mouth
, Kootch,” she nearly growled.  “And trust me … it isn’t pretty.”

He turned to face her and opened his mouth wide, talking and flapping his jaw way more than necessary.  “What?  No, you can’t.  I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.”

She punched him in the leg, and he feigned being in great pain, leaning over and fake-choking.

“Owwww, d’you see that?” he cried, trying to force tears but failing.  “More physical abuse.  Someone call the cops.  That’s assault with a deadly weapon.”

She snorted, going back to her shake.  “What weapon?”

He grabbed her hand from under the table and held it up for our benefit.  “This!  Boney knuckles and a pirate ring!  I’m bruised for life!”  He dropped her hand and rubbed his leg.  “Seriously, keep your kung fu chop suey to yourself.”

“Learn some manners and I will,” she said, smiling at me.  It was the happiest I’ve seen her look since I’d met her this morning.

Kootch frowned but went back to his burger and fries, grumbling under his breath but not loud enough that I could tell what he was saying.

I tried really hard not to laugh, but in the process of doing that I mangled my straw by biting it so hard that I could barely get the shake through until it melted most of the way down.

We all watched Kootch as we finished our shakes.  It was a weird form of entertainment, slightly gross and entirely fascinating.  It’s possible he broke a few records sitting at the table with us that day: one for fastest eater and one for biggest bites taken without choking to death.

He let out a gnarly burp when he was done.  “Buuuurrrrappp!  Oh, man.  That hit the spot.”  He patted his stomach and grinned at all of us.

“Can we go now?” asked Malcolm, clearly not impressed.

I’d been avoiding looking at him since getting caught staring him down and almost kissing him, but I turned my head in his direction, feeling the need to challenge him again.  “Anxious to leave?”

“I have homework to do.”  He didn’t meet my eyes.

Kootch stood, stacking all the cups on his tray.  “Come on, then.  Geneva’s leaving the lot.  Better take your potty break now Malcolm or you’ll miss your ride.”

I got out and stood off to the side, waiting for Malcolm to exit the booth.  He slid to the edge and looked up at Kootch.  “What?  Are you my mother now?”

“No.  But I know you have that bladder problem or whatever, so better hurry up.”

Malcolm frowned as he stood.  “I don’t have a bladder problem.  Who told you that?”

“No one told me, man.  But you spend half your life in there, so I just figured it was something medical.  Ain’t no thang to me.”  He walked away with the tray, headed toward the garbage bin.

“I don’t have a damn bladder problem,” grumbled Malcolm, mostly to himself.

“Just ignore him,” said Jasmine.  “He doesn’t understand that some people might choose to hide from him in a bathroom.  He’d rather blame it on your bladder.”  She walked away to join Kootch at the garbage can.  She must have immediately given him some crap because he started flapping his arms around and making her laugh.

“How does she know that?” asked Malcolm, staring after Jasmine.

“Know what?” I asked.

Malcolm jerked in fright, staring at me like he’d forgotten I was standing there.

“Nothing.”

“That you hide in the bathroom to avoid people?”

He didn’t respond.

My heart started beating furiously.  I couldn’t believe he was doing that - hiding from people. 
Like me.
  Maybe he’s incredibly shy.  Maybe he has a phobia about being around other people too much.  Maybe he can’t stand Kootch and doesn’t want to be mean.  Or maybe …

“I do that too.”  I said it really fast and in a low voice so only he’d hear me.

He stared at me hard, searching my face and eyes.  “Do what?” he finally asked, waiting for my answer, not moving and not looking away.

“Hide in the bathroom.  Away from people.”

“What people?” he asked, almost whispering.

“People who want to get too close,” I whispered back.  My face was flaming red, and my pulse was pounding hard.  I’d never told anyone that before.  The bathroom was my one sanctuary; the only place I could go and hide while also seeming normal to other people.  No matter how badly someone wanted to be with me, they always stopped at the toilet stall door.

Now someone knew my secret.  Malcolm.  Would he follow me in one day, knowing it was a place he’d find me alone?  Did I just sign my own death warrant? 
No.  I can’t believe that about him.  Not Malcolm.  Please don’t let Malcolm be a Rainbow.

“Why would anyone want to do that?  Get too close?” he whispered.

I could tell the answer meant a lot to him, knowing he had no idea how much it meant to me.  I glanced down and noticed that his hand was shaking a little.  My imagination was going a million miles an hour. 
Maybe he’s met someone like me before.  Maybe he knows what my problem is.  Could there be someone else out there like me?  Would it be dangerous for us to be near each other?  Could he be like me?  If he is, why would he ask a question he already knows the answer to?

I opened my mouth to answer, but I never got the chance to say anything.

“Come on,” said Kootch, coming up behind Malcolm and grabbing his arm, pulling him back.  “We’re leaving.  You can chat in the car.”

Malcolm stumble-walked backwards, staring at me the whole time.  I followed slowly in his tracks, never breaking eye contact.  When he got near the front of the restaurant he finally snapped out of his trance or whatever had him so captivated and he turned around, speeding up to pass Kootch out the front door.

I felt empty at the loss of our locked gaze.  It was so rare for me to have a connection like that, to allow one.  Normally they were dangerous.  With Malcolm, they just felt right.

I walked fast to catch up to the others.  Jasmine was already outside, standing on the sidewalk, about to walk out into the parking lot.  She was stubbing out a cigarette in the can next to her.