Authors: Kimberley Reeves
Nic placed his wine glass next to hers. “I’m not sure giving in to you is such a good idea. It would only encourage you to be even more demanding and who knows where it would end?” He leaned over, teasing her with a kiss that was so brief it could barely be called a kiss at all.
Rachel reached out and ran her hand over his chest in a slow, seductive sweep. “Stop torturing me and give me a proper kiss.”
“You see what I mean? It’s starting already. I wouldn’t be surprised if you insisted that I carry you back to bed and make mad, passionate love to you.”
“No… being so assertive isn’t really my style. As a matter of fact…” her hand glided over his flat belly and slipped beneath the band of his boxers, “I’ll bet I can persuade you to carry me to bed and make love to me without saying another word.”
Nic drew in a ragged breath when Rachel’s slender fingers curled around his growing erection. He was a pillar of strength for all of three minutes before the immense pleasure she was giving him became so volatile his entire body trembled from the strain of holding back. It was too much, and it was not enough; he needed to be inside of her, needed to sheath himself in her incredible warmth and feel her satiny muscles tighten around him. With an animalistic growl, he gripped her wrist and pulled her hand away, putting an end to the delicious torture. Nic shot to his feet, scooped Rachel off the sofa, and made it to the bed in two seconds flat.
He made love to her for hours; loved her until they were both well past the point of physical exhaustion and even then he couldn’t seem to stop kissing her. She fell asleep cradled in his arms, and as he lay there breathing in her soft scent and wishing she was still awake so he could steal one more kiss, Nic finally understood why his great grandfather had never recovered after losing Rochelle. How do you pick up the pieces when the woman who has become your whole world just disappears without a trace?
He couldn’t imagine being without Rachel for even one day, but to go the rest of his life without being able to love her as he’d done tonight? It would break him, just as Nicolo had been broken when he realized Rochelle was never coming back.
***
“I can’t explain it.” Rochelle stopped her restless pacing and dropped down into the chair, watching Estela expertly knead the bread dough for a moment before continuing. “It started a few weeks ago as just…an unsettling feeling that something was wrong. I’ve tried to ignore it and tell myself that I’m just being silly but it’s grown stronger and stronger every day. It’s like I’m racing towards the edge of a cliff. I sense the danger but because I can’t see what lies beyond the edge I just keeping running and can’t seem to stop myself.”
“You are afraid Nicolo will change his mind about marrying you?”
Her stomach fluttered as she recalled how thoroughly he’d kissed her good-bye that morning. “No, I’m as sure of his love for me as I am of my love for him. It has something to do with those horrible cousins of his, though I have nothing solid to base my feelings on. Since that time Nicolo warned them to leave me alone they haven’t come near me but I still don’t trust them and… well, the truth is they terrify me.”
“Then you should tell Nicolo,” Estela said firmly.
“How can I do that? He doesn’t see them for what they really are and I don’t want to make him angry at me by talking badly about them.”
“Do you think they know you are planning to elope tonight?”
“I don’t see how they could, but they must suspect it because they’ve been hanging around the mansion more than usual, and once Nicolo caught Damian creeping down the hallway just outside his bedroom when he had no business being in that wing. I’m sure Damian thought he’d catch me sneaking out of Nicolo’s room but I’d already taken the hidden passageway to my own room.”
Estela placed the dough in a bread pan and looked at Rochelle with genuine concern. “If you believe you are in danger of being harmed, you should tell them who you are. They would not dare touch you then.”
“Not until after we’re married,” she said with a stubborn tilt of her chin. “They won’t be able to contain themselves and after they’ve done their ranting about what a fool he is to have married me when he could have married a princess, Nicolo will see their true colors.”
“Nicolo does not want to see the bad in people, especially in members of his own family. If you won’t tell him for your own sake at least consider the welfare of your child.”
Rochelle’s hand went to her flat belly. “I hope it’s a boy,” she said with a soft smile. “Nicolo would be deliriously happy if I gave him a son.”
“He would be deliriously happy with a girl too but he would be extremely unhappy if he found out you were worried about those cousins of his and didn’t tell him.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Rochelle sighed. “I’ll tell him tonight after we leave.”
***
Nic had watched Rachel picking at her food for the past twenty minutes and was worried that the whole situation with the dreams was just too much of a strain on her. The rational… aka, sane part of his brain, told him that what she was attempting to do was simply ludicrous, and yet he couldn’t dismiss the idea altogether. Initially, Rachel had been excited when he woke her up last night because she’d managed to get Rochelle to confess her fears to Estela.
She’d been confident the same thing would happen tonight when Rochelle met with Nicolo before the unexpected dinner party, though she was a little anxious Nicolo would dismiss Rochelle’s concerns. But as the day wore on, Rachel seemed to retreat further and further into a world of her own, which left Nic feeling alienated and a little hollow inside. It was obvious by the furtive glances Celia kept casting at Rachel that she sensed it too, and after a few futile attempts to draw Rachel into a conversation, Celia gave up and finished her meal in silence.
“Take a walk with me,” he said when Rachel pushed her plate away, insisting she was full.
Rachel hesitated for a moment before deciding what she had to say might be easier if they didn’t go back to the bedroom. It would be too tempting to shove aside the anxiety that had been gnawing at her all day and lose herself in the passion of Nic’s kisses. Slipping her hand into his, she let him lead her out to the gardens just as the last of the day’s sun began to fade. It wasn’t until Nic stopped and gathered her in his arms that she realized how much she needed the comfort of being held in his warm embrace.
“I’m here for you, Rachel,” he said softly.
“I know. I’m sorry for shutting you out, it’s just…” she shook her head, attempting to swallow the enormous boulder that had lodged itself in her throat.
“Talk to me, honey. I promise that whatever it is, we can work it out together.”
“That’s the problem, Nic. I’m not sure we can work it out at all.”
His stomach knotted when she tilted her head back, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Rachel, what is it?”
“I… I’ve been thinking about tonight and will happen if I can get through to Rochelle and change what happened to her. Over the past few weeks it’s gotten easier to guide her into doing things like telling Estela she was afraid, but now I’m not sure I can go through with this and I hate myself for even considering backing off and just… letting her die.”
“I don’t understand. I thought this was what you wanted.”
“It was… is… except now it’s tearing me upside because I don’t think I could live with the guilt if I didn’t try to save her, but I’m not sure I can live with the consequences if it works either.” Rachel’s lips quivered. “Don’t you see? If Rochelle lives then Nicolo will marry her instead of your great grandmother and if that happens, Antonio won’t be born.”
The color leeched from his face. “Which means my father won’t be born and neither will I.”
“How can I do that? How can I justify saving her when I know it means killing you?”
“You wouldn’t be killing me because I would never have been conceived,” Nic said in an effort to comfort her, though he was struggling to keep his own emotions in check.
Rachel hugged herself to him, tears streaming down her face. “But I’d be killing
us
, Nic. We’ll never meet, never fall in love, and the worst part is that I won’t even know what I’ve lost. How can I sacrifice you and what we have together for the sake of a woman I don’t even know?”
Nic’s expression was grim. “You’re right, you didn’t know her and neither did I. But we know Rochelle was pregnant when she was shot and raped. She had to watch while they sealed her inside that room one brick at a time, knowing she was going to die and that her baby would die with her. I can’t even imagine the despair she must have felt at the end, lying there helpless and alone, praying that Nicolo would find her even though she had to have known he’d never come for her.”
“Nic, please…” she sobbed.
“No, you have to hear this. Maybe the blessing is that you and I will never know any of this happened. There won’t be any guilt or remorse if we make it right, but we’ll have a lifetime of it if we don’t even try.”
Rachel choked back her tears. “I know you’re right but I can’t do it, Nic, I just can’t.”
He leaned down and kissed her trembling lips. “You can and you will, because in your heart you know you have to. I love you, Rachel. No matter what happens my love will always be with you.”
The pain was unbearable but somehow she managed a weak smile. “I love you too, Dr. Covelli.”
“Does that mean you’ll do it?”
“Yes… yes, I’ll do it, but I want you to do something for me first. Stay with me tonight.”
“Rachel, you know if I do that you won’t dream.”
“I don’t want to dream. I just want one more night with you, one more chance to make love to you, to feel your arms around me when I fall asleep. Please, Nic, I need you to love me one more time.”
He wiped the tears from her cheeks then cupped her beautiful face in hands and lowered his mouth to hers. It was both the sweetest and most heartbreaking kiss he’d ever known.
Physically, Nic was exhausted, but his mind was racing a thousand miles a minute with no sign of tiring. He’d lost track of the number of times he’d made love to Rachel but was certain he’d be paying for it tomorrow. Not that morning was too far off, he thought after glancing at the clock. He was glad Rachel had asked for one more night together, though he fervently prayed it wasn’t their last, because they’d shared something that went beyond the intimacy of sex. And though he’d reconciled himself to the fact he had to risk giving up his own life, it hurt like hell to think of losing Rachel.
With a heavy sigh, Nic eased his arm from beneath her head and slipped out of bed. He supposed he should have tried to get at least a little sleep but he was too wound up and thought a brisk walk in the cool early morning air would help calm his nerves. Moving around the room as quietly as he could so as not to wake Rachel, he pulled on a pair of jeans and t-shirt then grabbed his shoes and crept out of the room. He made his way downstairs and out into the gardens, absently following the path he and Rachel had taken the evening before.
“You’re the most noble, compassionate man I’ve ever known,” she’d told him last night. “That’s why I love you so much.”
But he didn’t feel noble, not when everything inside him wanted to wrap Rachel in his arms and never let her go, regardless of the consequences for Rochelle and Nicolo or the other members of his family who’d suffered from the ripple effects of that fateful night so long ago. He wondered if he would have given it any consideration at all if Rochelle Beaumont hadn’t looked so much like Rachel. It was the image of a dark haired, green-eyed beauty being brutally attacked and the agonizing slow death afterwards that haunted him and left no choice but to go through with it.
One day, that’s all he had left. One day to spend with the woman who’d become everything to him, one day to show her a lifetime of love. The only hope keeping Nic going now was that his spirit would live on as Rochelle’s had and that somehow he’d find his way back to Rachel.
***
The absence of Nic’s warmth drew Rachel out of a sound sleep just as he was slipping out the door. She wondered if he’d slept at all or if he’d lain awake trying to figure out if there was any way this whole insane situation could possibly have a happy ending for anyone. He’d told her it was a blessing that they wouldn’t have any memory of what happened between them, but she wasn’t as confident as he was that it would work out that way. What if she
did
remember? How could she face each day knowing it was because of her that Nic would never exist? It was too cruel to even contemplate.
No matter what she did, someone was going to suffer for it. If she managed to save Rochelle, she’d destroy any chance Nic had of being born, and if she didn’t try to save Rochelle there was a very good chance she’d kill her relationship with Nic anyway. What choice did she really have? All she could do now was hope that her heart would remember the love he’d given her even if she didn’t remember Nic.