We turned a corner. I could smell the smoke now, smoke overlaid with a strong scent of flowers. Perfumed smoke from a Dream London fire.
“They just stood and watched as the rest of Belltower End burned. Honey Peppers turned and spoke to us all: ‘Tell Captain Wedderburn, the Daddio is looking for him.’ And then I ran. Ran to warn you.”
I slowed to a walk again. I was running into a trap, I knew it. Twice Honey Peppers had warned me about going to Angel Tower, and twice I had ignored her. I knew that the Daddio would exact retribution. I would too, in his shoes. That’s how you got respect. I think, in my heart of hearts, I had thought to talk my way out of the situation. Use the old Captain Wedderburn charm. I had obviously misjudged the situation badly. The Daddio’s retribution was swift and fierce.
I slowed to a halt.
“Hold on, Mr Monagan. I need to think.”
We stopped in the deep shadow of an alley. Salamanders stirred in the darkness, crunching on the beetles that scavenged the bins.
“Mr Monagan, is there anything I can achieve by going to Belltower End, apart from getting myself captured by the Quantifiers?”
“But Mister James! The girls! They need you!”
A voice spoke from the shadows.
“Captain Wedderburn. I owe you an apology.”
The night suddenly seemed very deep. The rest of Dream London seemed to recede into the distance. Mr Monagan and I turned towards the alley as a familiar figure stepped forward.
“Luke Pennies,” I said.
Except it wasn’t quite Luke Pennies. Somehow, in the past three days, he had lost weight. He was still fat, he was no longer obese. Something about his manner had changed, too. He was quieter, more confident.
“Were you waiting for me, Luke?” I gasped.
“I saw your orange man go running by to find you. I guessed you’d come back this way.”
I was still trying to regain my breath, I had little to spare for talking.
“What do you want to apologise for?” I asked.
“I accused you of burning down my brothel. I realise now it was nothing to do with you. I’m sorry for trying to kill you.”
“Apology accepted,” I said. “Perhaps you can make amends. Take a walk back to Belltower End. Scout the area. Tell me who’s waiting there.”
In the dim light of the alley, I saw Luke Pennies give a mournful smile.
“I don’t think you understand, Captain. I apologised for the other night. That doesn’t mean I’m on your side.”
His mouth fell open, and two eyes looked out at me from his tongue. Mr Monagan stepped between us, pushing me gently backwards.
“Oh no, Mister James! Be careful, now!”
“Take my advice, Jim,” said Luke. “Angel Tower has established Dream London, but it’s the Daddio who will exploit it. The Cartel will never defeat the ants.”
“Ants?”
“It’s not too late to join the winning team.”
The eyes in Luke’s tongue gazed at me.
Mr Monagan tugged at my arm.
“What should we do, Mister James?”
What should we do? Belltower End was in flames, Honey Peppers and the Quantifiers were waiting for us there. There was no point heading back to my flat. They’d have that covered too. The only place of safety I knew of was the Poison Yews.
“I think we should go now, Mr Monagan,” I said.
“Hold on,” said Luke Pennies. “Take my advice Jim. The Daddio’s already annoyed with you. Go to him now, apologise, he’ll be reasonable. I’m sure of it. Run away again and you’ll just make things worse.”
“I’m not running away, Luke. I just need to attend to things. As soon as I’m done, I’ll be happy to speak to the Daddio.”
Luke laughed.
“Oh, Captain! That sort of thing might work with a child like Honey Peppers. I feel quite insulted that you’d try it on me.”
“What might work on a child like Honey Peppers?”
The little voice piped up from somewhere behind me. A child’s voice, for sure, but full of the malice and bitterness of someone who had festered in the backrooms of places far worse than Belltower End. All the old whores in the attics and cellars, selling themselves at cut price, full of resentment at the world: they had nothing on that voice.
Honey Peppers stood at the entrance to the alley, holding hands with her Nanny. One of the Quantifiers stood behind them. The big man was greedily eating a large sandwich: a loaf of French bread cut lengthwise and filled with meat and cheese and slices of blue egg.
“Honey Peppers!” I said. “I was just coming to see you.”
“Yeah, of course you fucking were.”
“Language, Honey, please!” said her Nanny. “You know how cross you get when you stay up late. Half an hour more, and then it’s bed time. Okay?”
Honey looked up.
“Nanny, will you please hold your tongue? You know that I’ll be staying up late tonight. I’m going to take Captain Wedderburn to the zoo to be fucked by the manatees.”
“But...”
“Don’t argue with me, Nanny!”
Honey Peppers took a deep breath and shuddered. She turned back to me and smiled.
“Now, Captain Wedderburn, I think it’s time for your punishment. Come along.”
I reached into my pockets and pulled out both my knife and pistol.
“Run!” I called to Mr Monagan, who was gazing at me stupidly. The orange man immediately erupted into a flapping run that carried him away with surprising speed. Luke Pennies grabbed at me; I slashed at his arm with the knife and followed Mr Monagan. The pair of us plunged down the alleyway. The far end opened out into the inferno of Belltower End. Two black shadows eclipsed the flames, and the remaining two Quantifiers stepped into view, blocking our escape.
“Mister James! This way!”
Mr Monagan was kicking off his black shoes, going nowhere. The two Quantifiers advanced towards us.
I watched in amazement as Mr Monagan leant forward and pressed his hands, then his feet onto the dirty surface of the brick wall and began to climb, slowly at first, and then faster and faster until he was running up the side like a salamander. He paused thirty feet up, turning to see why I wasn’t following.
“Mr James! Come on!”
A hand took hold of my shoulder and I slashed at it with my knife, to no avail. Someone gripped my hand and squeezed hard.
“Don’t damage him!” called Honey Peppers.
The grip eased and the knife fell from my numb hand. Someone took the pistol.
“Mister James!” called Mr Monagan from somewhere above.
“Don’t come back!” I called. “Run!”
I
WAS DRAGGED
through the warm evening streets of Dream London. One Quantifier held my wrist, and I found myself pulled away from the excitement of the heat and the flames and out into the twilight peace of the better class areas of the city. I smelt the green of the trees above me, their feeling of evening calm completely at odds with the knot of fear in my stomach. In the distance I could hear the whoop and growl and roar of animals.
“We’re going to the zoo, are we?” I said.
“I don’t think I should tell you that,” said the reluctant Quantifier.
“Please yourself.” His grip on my arm was like a manacle. I’d given up trying to shake it off. We walked at a brisk pace, the streets widening and becoming cleaner. I saw a grey-suited nanny in the distance, and I looked for Honey Peppers, but this was another woman, taking two little boys dressed in checked coats home to bed.
We turned a corner, and there, ahead of us, was the entrance: a large metal arch set in the middle of the tall pointed bars that enclosed the zoo. The metal railings had grown so tall, twice the size of the Dream London plane trees that stood before them, their bark dappled in yellow and gold. The words
Dream London Zoo
were written on the arch in curly script. I gazed up at them as we passed beneath and the sounds and smell of the zoo enfolded me. The excited chatter of apes, the shriek of birds, the howl of wolves, the trumpeting of elephants, the buzzing of insects. And the smells: the tang of salt water, the green of jungles, the sweet smell of excrement, the spice of musk. So much musk. There were flowers and animals in here, and I could smell the excitement.
“Honey Peppers wasn’t serious, was she?” I said, the first stirrings of real fear inside me.
“I wouldn’t like to say anything about that,” said the reluctant Quantifier.
The animals in Dream London Zoo had changed just like the rest of the city. We passed three bears that walked on their hind legs, paws clasped behind their backs. Two dolphins perched on a wall, looking down at us with a hard expression. Blue monkeys walked the zoo, taunting their caged brethren. Ahead of me I heard the gabble of voices, and I realised we were heading towards some sort of arena, a place for patrons to sit and watch the animals perform. The banked seats of the arena were filled with people, men and women, dressed in their Sunday best, all come to see the show. A group of drummers were playing nearby, banging on the bongos and the tom toms in mismatched wild rhythms that overlapped each other in typical Dream London fashion.
The crowd let off a huge cheer as they saw me being dragged into the arena. It was a sound to make you empty your bowels, to make you want to burst into desperate tears. A hateful, catcalling, jeering cheer. As the noise rose, the scent of flowers thickened, the sickly perfume cloying in the air.
The arena was set out like a theatre: a semicircle of seats facing onto a large pool, half covered in boards. There were two people waiting for me there, standing on the boards over the water. A woman dressed in grey and a small girl with golden curls. Honey Peppers.
“Captain Wedderburn,” she said.
“Ms Peppers.”
“The Daddio isn’t pleased with you,” said Honey Peppers.
“Really? Why ever not?”
She stamped her foot.
“Don’t you dare try and play your games with me, Captain Wedderburn! You were told not to disappear again last night, and you did!”
“What do you mean, disappear? I knew where I was...”
“BE QUIET!”
She was shaking with anger, her voice becoming shrill.
“YOU WERE TOLD TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CARTEL, AND YET TODAY THIS QUANTIFIER SAW YOU COMING OUT OF ANGEL TOWER!”
“Well...” I began.
“If you speak again out of turn, I’ll have to hurt you,” said the Quantifier. “Don’t think that I won’t enjoy it.”
I looked up into his piggy eyes and I knew he meant it. I held my tongue. The Quantifier’s tongue popped out just to see if I’d got the message.
Honey Peppers seemed to regain control of herself.
“Well, Captain Wedderburn, I warned you! I told you, if you disobeyed again, I’d have you brought here to be fucked by the manatees, and that’s what’s about to happen... what is it, Nanny?”
The child looked up impatiently at the grey-suited woman who had leant forward to whisper in her ear.
“Yes, yes, I know!” said Honey Peppers. “I know that it’s the mandrills that are actually going to fuck him, but the manatee tank is just underneath us, isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?”
“Well, yes,” said the Nanny, hesitantly.
“So he’ll be fucked right by the manatees? Honestly! Don’t embarrass me, Nanny!”
“Actually dear, he’s going to be more
on
the tank than
beside
it...”
Honey Peppers inhaled deeply. She was shaking as she spoke.
“Nanny, I swear, if you don’t shut up, I’ll have you seen to by the manatees even if it means getting one of the Quantifiers to hold you under the water whilst they do it.”
“Sorry, dear.”
Honey Peppers took another deep breath, and calmed herself.
“Very well, Captain. Let’s begin.”
She signalled across the arena. The drummers took up their random, unsynchronised beating once more. Something was wheeled towards us. A cage, covered in a white sheet. Inside it I could hear the shrieks and whoops of the cage’s occupants. The cage halted before me and, as the sound of drumming intensified, the cover was pulled away. Three faces pushed their way through the bars, white snouts, striped in red, little eyes looking down from above. Mandrills. You’ll know what mandrills look like; they’re the largest species of monkey, the ones with the big purple bottoms. These ones were even bigger than normal, almost my height. They gazed through the bars with a sly, knowing sort of intelligence. I felt like throwing up. I think Honey Peppers saw it in my eyes, because she grinned at that point.
“Okay, Quantifier. Throw him in the cage.”
“Hold it!” I said. “Just a moment.”
“What is it?” asked Honey Peppers. Behind her, I saw the crowd, standing up on the benches, their tongues sticking out to get a better view.
“Okay,” I said. “The Daddio is upset. He thinks a punishment is due. Okay. But not this. Not here. You realise this will ruin my reputation? What use will I be to the Daddio then?”
Honey Peppers smiled so sweetly.
“Ruin your reputation? But what do you mean, Captain Wedderburn?” To the side of me, I heard the impatient whoops of the mandrills. A hand reached out to grab at me, and I slapped it away.
“Whip me,” I said. “Make it physical punishment. But not this!”
“But that’s exactly the point,” said Honey Peppers. “Don’t you think the Daddio realises that? If you were to be beaten, that would only add to your mystique. I’m sure you could take the punishment in silence, and the myth would grow, about how Captain Wedderburn can take whatever is thrown at him. The Daddio knows that, Captain. That’s why he has brought all these people here to watch you being fucked by the mandrills. Because after that, people won’t speak in awe of you behind your back. They’ll pity you. They’ll laugh at you. They won’t fear you so much.”
She held her hands beneath her armpits in imitation of a monkey. “Ook ook eek” she said.
I was terrified, I don’t mind admitting it. She was right. I could take pain. What I couldn’t take was the humiliation.
“Okay, Honey Peppers. I understand. The Daddio has made his point. I won’t do it again.”
“Oh, Captain. Can’t you take your punishment like a man?”
The crowd laughed at that.
“Honey...”
“Honestly Captain, what’s the problem? This is what happens to your whores every day, and you make money off them as a result. Well, you’ll be just doing the same as them!”