Acknowledgments
To my loving Father in Heaven, Your word has been a lifeline for me throughout the conception of this book, and I pray that every person who reads this will recognize that
ALL THINGS
come from you.
To my BIG brother, Michael Holmes, you have exceeded my expectations of what a big brother is supposed to represent. I love you, not because of what you do, but because of who you are. Your kindness, compassion, and generosity is what places you above all the rest.
To my FIRST brother, Kalee Evans, biology tells us that we're only cousins, but because of our close relationship, you feel more like a brother. We fight and argue like siblings, but I'm glad to say you are one person I can count on. You are there when I call for help and ready to lend a helping hand. You never forget about me, and for that, I love you.
Roxanne Evans, you have been a shining example to me of what a prayer-driven life looks like. You have passed your Godly wisdom down to me and now I'm trying to share that with the world. Thanks for caring, thanks for driving me to all those church conference meetings, and, most of all, thanks for praying for me.
Shantece, Courtney, and Michael Jr., you three are all a part of me. Your spirit and words are kept in my heart and that pushes me to succeed. Auntie loves you XOXO.
I have to shout out my Philly connection. Special thanks go out to Shelly, Gwen, Kathy, and Dana for being true friends. You ladies don't realize how much a simple phone call or letter from each one of you has meant to me. You have kept my spirits up with your words of encouragement, and I truly appreciate every single word.
Macdonald Taylor, you should be a motivational speaker because I can't count the number of times you've called at just the right time to remind me that I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST.
A special shout out to my friends down in the ATL: LeKisa Blackmon, Dajuan Boyd, Kimberly Flagg, Alfred Giavance, and Tamiko Young/Miller. Holla at your girl.
[email protected] Lil Little, I am thankful to have you as a friend, confidant, and sister in Christ.
Special recognition goes to Tatiana Cody, Monica Fauntleroy, Maurice Lomax, and the entire Evans family. Tatiana's lighthearted wit and humorous critique of the book cover was priceless advice that I couldn't do without. Maurice and Monica, I appreciate your invaluable time that you disposed to me at my convenience. Thanks to my entire family for your support and encouragement. (Janae Gilbert thanks for being my little helper) Hugs and kisses go out to my cousin Leah Long for reading the first three chapters of the book and wanting to read more. I guess I need to put an APB out on Margo Lane Muse because that will be the only way I can get the girl to get in touch with a sistah. (You know I love you from the bottom of my heart.)
To Deborah Mathis, a special friend who extended her help, advice, and expertise. Thank you so much and I hope to work with you again one day.
To Mr. Kenny Johnson, a solider who is overseas defending this country. Stay in prayer, read your bible, and have faith, and before you know it God will be sending you back home to all those who care and love you. You are in my prayers. Love ya.
I need to thank the entire Q-Boro family; from each and every single individual who has read, edited, and touched my book. To those individuals I will be working with in the future. Thanks.
Candace, I once heard a pastor say that angels come to earth as friends and they will bless you at a time when no one else can. I see you as being one of those angels.... I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Our connection was not a chance meeting, but definitely a well-orchestrated plan. Without you, none of this would have been possible. Thanks again.
Last, but definitely not least, Mr. Mark Anthony. You have blessed me with an opportunity that most people only dream of. Thanks for recognizing my talent and being such a versatile visionary that you saw a place for Christian fiction at Q-Boro.
Chapter 1
JUNE 2003
Valencia Benson, a twenty-year-old, mocha-brown knockoutâwhich was how most guys referred to herâstood five feet, three inches tall with a small body frame and ample 38D breasts. Her large bust size drew a lot of attention, which at times could be a problem. Guys would approach her just to stare at her chest. She had seriously considered undergoing a breast reduction, but when it came time for her to meet with the doctor, she lost the nerve. Her bust was probably the only part of her body she wanted to change. Val's body closely resembled an Olympic athlete's; her stomach was tight, her thighs were strong, and her booty was firm. She worked out often and drank plenty of water to keep her body fit.
Val tossed her shoulder-length weave over her shoulder and gazed up at the wooden cross illuminated by light hanging above the pulpit and whispered a silent prayer.
That cross held so much power
, she thought to herself. She had knelt in front of it a zillion times since she was old enough to walk. The cross was a reminder to her that God was her foundation and nothing would break the promise He made to walk with her through life. She often looked to the cross when she was going through bad times, but she was glad to know that God was also there during the good times.
“Here you go, dear. Enjoy the service,” came a soft voice.
A startled Val looked up to see Ms. Young handing her a Sunday program. Ms. Young was a member of the prestigious Seniors Club. There were only a few senior members left in the church. All of the others had gone on to see the Savior, but Ms. Young was still biding her time here on Earth. She was a dedicated member who walked a mile to church every Sunday. She never allowed a foot of snow or a deadly hurricane stand in her way of serving the Lord. Val admired Ms. Young's commitment and love for Jesus.
Val loved being a member of First Nazareth A.M.E. Church, where the congregation felt like family. Every Sunday she was always welcomed with a huge smile and a warm hello. Once she entered the church, the Spirit took over and all she could do was sit back and enjoy the ride. The choir shouted praises to the Lord and Reverend Simms jumped for joy at the teachings of God's word.
Although First Nazareth was a small church with less than seventy-five members listed on its church roster, it still ranked high on the list of lying, scheming, backstabbing, and deception that played out among its members.
Mrs. Simms, the pastor's wife, interrupted Val's thoughts when she began to speak before the congregation. “The time has come for us to bring our burdens to the Lord,” she said. “We use this time to tell God what's in our hearts and minds. It's also a time for us to repent to the Lord for the wrong things we've done by thought, word, or deed.” She motioned for Olivia to come to the front of the church.
“Church, our dear, sweet Olivia has an announcement to make.” Mrs. Simms held Olivia's shaking hand tightly. Silence filled the church. All eyes settled on Olivia, waiting on her to speak. Finally, words began to drift from Olivia's mouth.
“Church, I'm a s-s-sinner,” she stammered. “I'm pregnant.”
The announcement stunned Val. She stared at her cousin and tried to understand what she was doing. Val thought everyone in the church was a sinner, so for Olivia to make a public announcement was extreme. The congregation replied with disapproving stares and whispers.
The women in the church ran to her, poured oil over her head, and began to speak in tongues. Others caught the Holy Spirit and ran around the church. The remaining members formed a circle around her and held hands while they prayed. They acted as if they were performing an exorcism on her. Val wanted to console her very passive cousin, but Mrs. Simms lovingly placed her arms around Olivia's shoulders.
“I've spoken to Reverend and Mrs. Simms, and they have shown me the error of my ways,” Olivia continued. “I have repented to the Lord, and I want to apologize to the church for any shame or embarrassment I may have caused.” Olivia wiped her eyes as tears fell down her face.
“Church,” Mrs. Simms yelled above the commotion. “I have assured Olivia that the Lord loves her and no one here would ever judge her. Isn't that right, church?” she asked. Suddenly, amens and hallelujahs exploded throughout the sanctuary. Olivia's announcement had really moved the congregation. The pianist began to play, and members stomped their feet.
Val felt like the church was treating Olivia's confession as a black stain on a pure white wedding dressâlike it was something she was supposed to hide or be ashamed of. When Val looked at Olivia she saw that innocence she had possessed since they were kids. Her light brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail that cascaded down her back. Most people would describe Olivia as plain looking, if not homely. She never wore make-up or any type of revealing clothing that showed off her curves. The only distinctive features she had were her light, hazel eyes and round, full lips.
Val was older than Olivia by seven months, and it was still hard for Val to accept that Olivia was no longer her little cousin. Val remembered the many times she had to fight girls on the playground because Olivia wouldn't stick up for herself. She was always very quiet and kept to herself.
Bryant, whom Val had met a few times, was Olivia's very first boyfriend. Olivia never dated much, so when Olivia began often talking about the things she and Bryant had done together, Val knew he must have been something special. Val was eager to get to know him better, but every time she suggested they go out together, Bryant was always working out of town. It was a surprise for Val to find out that Olivia was having sex. She had always assumed that she would be the first one to have a baby.
The church settled down and refocused its attention on Mrs. Simms and Olivia.
“Olivia has decided to keep the baby,” Mrs. Simms announced. “And the church is going to support her in any way we can.”
Another series of amens and hallelujahs stirred the church. Mrs. Simms hugged Olivia one more time before Olivia returned to her seat next to Val.
Val immediately pounced on her. “Olivia!”
“Val, don't say anything to me. You're going to make me cry.” Olivia took a tissue out of her purse and wiped her eyes.
“Olivia, how could you not share this kind of information with me?” Val whispered.
“I was going to tell you. I could never find the right time.”
“But you found the time to tell the entire church?” Val asked, astonished by her cousin's last comment.
“Val, can we discuss this later?”
“Hell no!”
“Val, we're in church!” Olivia said. She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one had heard her cousin's foul mouth.
“How could you let them coax you into doing that?”
“What . . . what did they do?”
Val hated it when Olivia acted so naïve. She was always trying to please somebody instead of doing what was right for her. Val knew that Olivia was blind to many things that went on around her, but she thought the girl would know when someone was trying to manipulate her.
“They had you crucify yourself as the sacrificial lamb. You put your flaws on public display, when not one of them is any better than you. They ain't nothin' but a bunch of hypocrites.”
“Val, stop it! I won't have you speaking against the church.”
“Olivia, you know I'm telling the truth. Remember how Desiree Carter stole the Sunday School Superintendent position from you?”
“She didn't steal it! The elders appointed her to the position.”
“Yeah, right. She played you for months, stealing all your ideas for the Sunday School.” Val laid her hand down on the Bible. “You told her all the plans you had, and she pretended to be your friend, telling you that you would be perfect as Sunday School Superintendent. Then when the announcement was made, Desiree acted surprised when her name was called.
“Her husband made a three thousand dollar donation to help the church get a new roof,” Val continued. “Then the following week an announcement was made that she had accepted the position of Sunday School Superintendent. They never even held the required elections like they were supposed to.”
Olivia tried to ignore Val by opening her Bible.
“Val, what does that have to do with anything?” she asked anxiously.
“It bothers me that you told the entire congregation personal information, when you couldn't even tell me, and we're cousins.”
“Val, I needed to talk to someone. I spoke with Mrs. Simms about it and she suggested I tell the church. She said I would feel a lot better if I confessed my sins.”
“Yeah, confess your sins to the Lord, not to the whole damn church!”
“Val, stop cursing in church!”
“I can't help it. I'm so mad. I don't believe they did this.” Val tried to calm down.
Focusing back on the service, the pastor asked everyone to open their Bibles to John 8:7. “My sermon this morning is entitled, âLet thee without sin, cast the first stone.'”
“What a coincidence,” Val sarcastically mumbled.
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Elise, Val's Bible Study facilitator and mentor, walked through the church gathering Bibles. Val followed behind her ranting and raving about what had happened to Olivia on Sunday. Elise believed in giving direction and spiritual guidance to each one of the young adults in her Bible Study class. She listened to their problems and gave advice on how to lead a righteous life, but it wasn't always easy trying to nurture a young adult's mind.
“Elise, are you listening to me?”
“Val, I'm listening to you. I was there.”
“I know. That's why I don't understand why you didn't do anything.” Val took the Bibles out of her hand.
“What was I supposed to do?” Elise ran her fingers through her Halle Berry haircut.
“They used her!” Val said boldly.
“Are you cold?” Elise asked, trying to change the subject. She walked over to the thermostat. “They didn't use her. They just helped her realize the wrong she had done,” Elise finally commented.
“So, you agree with what they did?”
“Val, Olivia committed a major sin. This sin is going to follow her for the rest of her life. Perhaps Mrs. Simms thought that if Olivia acknowledged her sin then others wouldn't make the same mistake. The pastor's wife did say that the church was going to support her in any way they could.”
“Elise, you were the one who taught us that a sin is a sin, that it doesn't matter how big or small you may think it is. It's all sin,” Val said.
Again, Val stared at the wooden cross that hung in the front of the church. She was determined to get her point across. “Listen to this.” She sat in one of the pews. “Olivia never actually admitted to doing anything wrong. She just announced she was pregnant.”
“The last time I checked, sex outside of marriage was a sin,” Elise replied.
“Yeah, but pregnancy outside of marriage isn't.”
Elise looked at her strangely. “Val, what are you talking about?”
“The Virgin Mary wasn't married when she got pregnant with Jesus. She wasn't considered a sinner, so why should Olivia?” Val replied with a smirk on her face.
“You always have to have the last word, don't you?”
Val smiled brighter.
Suddenly, the church doors swung open and Julian Pennington, Val's boyfriend, strolled down the church aisle flashing his pearly whites.
Val and Julian had been together since their freshman year in high school. They had endured their share of ups and downs like every couple, but their love for one another always pulled them through.
Most of the girls at Philly High School described Julian as a pretty boy with a baby face. He was often told he resembled the R&B singer, Usher. Julian was considered a good catch, not just because of his handsome good looks, but also because of his determination to be successful.
Obsessed with the dream of one day becoming a basketball star, Julian perfected his basketball skills by spending all his spare time in the gym. Ultimately, it paid off, securing him a spot on the varsity team. The coach recognized his talent and appointed him co-captain of the team his freshman year.
Despite Julian's arrogant attitude and boastful behavior, Val's love for Julian was rare. He was her first love and she dedicated her life to making him happy. She would do just about anything he asked. Whether she had to stay up all night writing a paper for him or finishing his homework before her next class, Val was the kind of woman who stood by her man through the good and the bad.
Julian's feelings were mutual for her. He knew how lucky he was to have Val in his life. The love they shared was special and hard to describe. Their bond was strong and they refused to let outsiders interfere with their love. Their decision to wait until after marriage to have sex seemed to strengthen their relationship.
Julian finished his sophomore year at the University of Kentucky, and after several debates with his parents, he decided to forfeit the remaining two years of his scholarship and enter the National Basketball Association.
With his six feet, two inch, 210-pound frame, Julian bent down to kiss Val on her lips. “Valencia, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.” Julian always used Val's full name. He loved the way her name rolled off his lips.
Elise shot Val a look that asked the question, “Were we finished?”
“No, honey you didn't interrupt anything,” Val responded. “Where have you been?”
“I went to get a haircut and then I went to the gym.” He thrust his arms into the air and bulged his biceps, mimicking Popeye. “I'm trying to get in shape. Is it working?”