Read Dragonfly Song Online

Authors: Wendy Orr

Dragonfly Song (18 page)

Winter comes with its icy winds and running noses, and a frightened young swineherd comes to the Hall.

‘My dada fell from a rock yesterday,' he tells Lyra. ‘His leg's broke, and now he's raging as if the gods are after him.'

Cold or not, the wise-women still visit anyone who needs them. Lyra packs a basket with herbs and cloths, checking she has everything she might need.

Roula and Lena are out seeing a family of coughing fishers. ‘You can carry the basket,' Lyra says.

It's the first time Aissa's been allowed on a house call. She tries not to grin as they leave the coolroom.

She wonders if the boy's father could be the swineherd whose boar Luki tried to leap, but the boy turns east at the ancient oak and leads them on a rough trail
through the hills. It's well past noon when they reach a round stone house with a thatched roof, a sty with a sow and four half-grown piglets, and a stone wall encircling it all.

Dogs erupt into barking, teeth bared at the visitors till the boy calls them off. He lifts the gate and the dogs let them pass, watching balefully, as if they think Lyra and Aissa are just waiting for a chance to steal a piglet.

In the house that smells

of smoke and pig,

the swineherd rages nonsense,

forehead burning,

leg red-swollen,

the fleece he lies on soaked with sweat.

The mother has three small

runny-nosed boys

and a round belly ready

to give birth,

a dozing grandfather

and a sad-eyed aunt with a lump in her neck

as if she's swallowed an eagle's egg.

The farm remote enough

they don't know that Aissa

is the bad-luck child,

and they're all too ill

or worried

to notice that she doesn't speak.

Lyra has herbs for the fever,

poultice for the leg,

cloths to strap it

straight to a board.

She feels the mother's belly

with encouraging words,

and the aunt's throat

with a promise to return

with herbs for the lump.

The mother offers hot soup:

a bowl for Lyra

and one for Aissa

to drink like anyone else.

The day is darkening

as they leave;

the sad-eyed aunt

pokes a pine branch into the fire

and gives it to Aissa

when it starts to smoulder,

in case they are still in the hills

at dark.

The boy goes

to see them on their way,

but he is young –

Lyra sends him back,

and the dogs with him.

Then Lyra turns across the hills,

not the way they came:

‘It's a little further,' she says,

‘But we'll meet a trail,

then the road from the fishers –

safer in the dark.'

The hills are rugged

but there will still be light

for a little longer,

and Aissa,

twirling her branch to keep its fire,

feels a strange sort of joy,

a song inside her

though she can't quite hear the words,

so that Lyra stops in her telling

of herbs and illness

and smiles.

‘Happiness in the hills,' she says,

‘is a gift from the goddess.

Every wise-woman feels it.'

Then,

over the next hill,

where sharp-scented bushes

grow grey and thick,

terror strikes –

swooping on Aissa

like a fox on a mouse,

knocking out her breath

like a punch from a twin.

She wants to fall to the ground,

to crawl under

a grey-green bush

but she's frozen,

still as stone.

Lyra staring all around,

grabbing the torch in defiance

of whatever might come –

but nothing is there,

nothing but

a house on the hill,

long deserted,

roof missing

stone walls crumbling.

‘Ah,' says Lyra, slowly guessing.

‘The farm the raiders burned –

and this the place, maybe,

where you lay that night.'

She lays the pine torch across a rock,

and hugs Aissa,

tight as a mother.

‘I will ask Kelya what to do

to cleanse this place,

and you.'

She takes Aissa's hand

and they go on,

making it safely home

before night falls.

In the morning

the wise-women send Aissa

alone

to gather seaweed and mussel shells

for the egg-lump in

the sad aunt's throat.

Aissa has seen

the pile of dried seaweed in the stores

and she knows they want her

out of the way

while they talk about

her terror on the hill.

And if it means

the goddess doesn't want her

even to serve,

then Aissa will be

nothing

again.

Climbing down to the beach –

the far path

where the fishers don't go –

she finds mussel shells first:

‘Not the mussels, just the shells,'

said Lyra,

‘they don't have to be perfect

to be useful:

we'll crush and burn them

into a powder.'

But Aissa chooses the freshest

long-haired kelp

and bright green seaweed,

laying them clean and pure

on top of her shells –

carefully, carefully,

doing everything right

to please the goddess

and the wise-women.

The salt sea air blows through her fears

so when she climbs the cliffs again

Aissa stops at the shrine

to offer the goddess

a bright whorled shell.

Lost in her prayer,

she doesn't hear

Nasta's mother

come up from behind

pushing her hard

towards the edge,

knocking her down

and spilling her basket.

‘Next time,'

Nasta's mother snarls,

‘I'll push you right off.

This shrine is for fishers;

you might serve the wise-women

but you're still a slave.'

With a final spit

Nasta's mother stomps away,

and Aissa, trembling,

picks herself up,

packs up her basket

and replaces

her shell on the shrine.

Now she hardly ever

gets spat at,

she hates it more.

That night Kelya gives her

bitter herbs to drink

before she sleeps.

Aissa dreams of her home

with Mama and Dada,

the house on the hill

when it had a roof

and life.

She dreams of the bush –

the sharp-scented, grey-green bush –

where Mama hid her,

saying, ‘Stay quiet,

still as stone till I come back.'

When she wakes,

blind Kelya looks in her eyes

and sees her dream.

‘You must go back once more,'

she says.

‘It should be me to take you there

as I did before,

but I can't walk so far.

Cut a lock of my hair,

and know I go with you.'

Aissa wonders

how she can ever be brave enough

to go alone

and what it is she must do,

but Lyra

and Lena and Roula,

are ready

with baskets of herbs and wine

and the mussel shells

ground and burned for the sad-eyed aunt.

They bathe at the Source,

come steaming out

into the bright cool day,

to follow the creek

across the hills

just as Kelya carried the baby

twelve years ago.

At the ruined house

Lena and Roula

scatter herbs to cleanse.

Lyra pours wine for the goddess

and Aissa offers tears

for dead Dada,

Gaggie, Poppa and Brown Dog,

and for stolen Mama,

Tattie and Zufi.

Her tears are still flowing

when Lyra leads her

to the fear-soaked bush

for another offering

of herbs and wine,

and Aissa buries

the lock of Kelya's hair,

and a curl of her own,

where she'd lain

that long cruel night.

Then in a circle, joining hands

they dance fast and wild

around the bush

and the wise-women sing

praise and thanks

for lifting the curse.

And then Aissa does too.

No words to her song,

a wild high keening

not the
lu-lu-lu
-ing of grieving mourners

but as if the Lady herself

was singing

the curse to rise

and be gone,

so the others stop

and Aissa sings alone

until she hears it

and sees her own wonder

on their faces –

she'd never quite believed

that it was her

who'd sung the snake

away from Luki,

but this time

she knows.

They lie in the grass,

panting,

wondering,

wrapped in their cloaks,

Aissa's wolf fur like a hunter's,

until Lyra and Roula

turn one way

with the healing herbs for the swineherd family

and Lena takes Aissa

back to Kelya,

who holds Aissa's face in her hands,

saying,

‘Tell me.'

And just for a moment,

Aissa thinks that she can,

but when she opens her mouth

Mama's voice is still in her head

and no sound comes out.

As the days grow shorter, the wise-women spend more time together in their chamber and storerooms, checking that seeds and herbs aren't going mouldy, grinding and mixing preparations. They sing and tell stories as they work. Some of the stories are about healing and some about history, knowledge passed on from wise-woman to wise-woman through the ages.

One night Kelya tells the tale of a hunter trying to catch the moon. ‘On a night when the gods were young,' she begins solemnly, as if it's sacred lore they need to learn, and goes on to tell the rudest, funniest story Aissa has ever heard.

Lyra and Lena gasp with laughter; Roula actually falls off her stool. Aissa is too shocked to breathe.

‘Aren't you listening, little one?' Kelya asks, and tells the whole story again.

This time, when Kelya describes the hunter tumbling off the moon with his tunic around his ears, Aissa sees the whole crazy, ridiculous picture in her head. Warmth bubbles up inside her till it explodes out through her mouth, and she falls off her stool too, rolling on the ground beside Roula, which makes everyone else laugh even harder.

Everyone except Kelya. She is simply beaming, tears in her blind eyes: Aissa is laughing.

But she still can't make a sound when she tries. And she does try, even against Mama's voice in her head, because the wise-women tried to lift the curse and it's her fault that they failed. She's failed them.

One afternoon when the others are out – winter is a busy season for seeing the sick – Kelya calls Aissa to come and sit by her knee.

‘It's time for you to know your story. It's not an easy one, but it's yours. The servants banned you for calling the dragonflies; we've all seen how the cats come to you, and Lena and Lyra have told me of your singing. You must have guessed enough that it's best to know.'

She reaches for Aissa's hands and gently rubs the tiny scars on the wrists.

‘Sometimes in the Lady's family, a baby is born with an extra thumb. For a boy or younger girl, it's not a problem. But for a firstborn daughter: does it mean that she's not perfect? How can we know what is perfect in the eyes of the gods? If a Lady grows up to have a crooked nose, or walks with a limp, is she still fit to rule?

‘No one knows the answers. This time the Lady thought one thing and the chief another. The Lady wanted the chief to be right, you must remember that. So the chief cut off the baby's extra thumbs, thinking to please the goddess – and the sea gods took him the next day. It seemed a sign that the baby must go.'

‘But the midwife whose job it was couldn't take the baby to the cliff. What if the gods weren't angry
because the chief had tried to trick them – but because he had wounded a child who was perfect as she was?

‘So the midwife took the baby to a good woman to raise as her own. That woman had been grieving for a baby; now she was happy, though the Lady grieved so hard for the girl she believed had died that the midwife feared she might die too. But she could never tell her the truth.

‘Then the raiders took that family.' Kelya strokes Aissa's shoulder, trying to soften the words. ‘But the goddess spared you – and you ended up back at the Hall. Humans can never outrun the fate the gods have planned.

‘I hoped that your voice would return when the curse was lifted from the place of those terrors – but I was wrong. All I know is that the goddess has her reasons. I just hope I live long enough to see them.'

Stories aren't only for the wise-women's chamber. The year wheels around to midwinter and the celebration of the shortest day. The Lady offers the goddess wine and a goat to ensure that she'll bring sun and spring again – gods love nothing better than the smoke of barbecued meat. The feasting in the Hall goes late into that long dark night, as people offer their songs or the endless, chanted stories of their ancestors. One of the fishers can make his harp sing as if it were alive. A farmer has such a fine clear voice that no one cares if her songs are clumsy. The oldest guard tells stories as so many different characters it's hard to believe he's only one person. And Kelya adds hers – a
wise one and two funny ones, but not the rude one that made Aissa laugh. That's just for them.

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