Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine (69 page)

On the less-good side, Brooks had refused my last four requests for meetings.

We also had no access to her via the Barrier, given the wall of seers she’d put between herself and us. Apparently her anger about what I’d done in Denver hadn’t lessened with time; if anything, it seemed to have gotten worse.

I still thought I’d done the right thing.

But yeah, I understood why she was pissed.

Moreover, from what Talei had been able to find out, Brooks’ people had by now convinced her I’d more or less been responsible for everything that happened in Denver, including Dragon being operational in the first place. And yeah, okay, while they weren’t exactly
wrong
about that, they weren’t completely right, either.

The blackout with Brooks made me nervous, given everything else. I knew they were tracking Dragon via their own seers by then. I also knew they were likely to seriously overreact if they got an opportunity to take him down, especially if nukes were still on the table.

I was fighting to focus my eyes when warm fingers began massaging the back of my neck. Those fingers stroked hard, deliberately, in strong sensual pulls, bleeding light. Flinching, I glanced up, conscious of the heat behind the contact.

I noticed only then that Jorag and Surli had already left the room.

Dalejem and I were alone.

Even so, I shouldered his hand off me.

“You shouldn’t do that here,” I muttered.

He let out a low snort. “Why? Because they might figure out we’re fucking?” His voice held a faint thread of scorn. “Trust me, Alyson. They know. That big bastard with the blue eyes already got in my face about it. So did Chandre. And your ex-lover…the Chinese one.”

I clicked at him, shaking my head in irritation.

Even so, I was surprised. Not about Chan or Jorag, really.

But Surli got in his face? Really?

Dalejem smiled, wrapping a muscular arm around my waist and tugging me coaxingly up against him. Before I could decide whether to push him off a second time, he leaned down, kissing my neck, using light on his lips and tongue even as he coiled more of himself into my belly. The heat from the latter caught my breath.

I felt my resistance slide in spite of myself, right before I melted back into his hard body.

“That Surli was scarier, honestly,” he murmured, squeezing me tighter against his chest. His other hand slid under my shirt, caressing my bare stomach before sliding up to massage my breast. I leaned against his chest as his fingers rubbed me slowly, tugging at me through the thin fabric. I felt him getting hard against the back of my thighs as his light coiled into mine, pulling on me achingly, making my skin flush.

“I think he actually threatened my life,” he said, softer, his hand sliding between my legs. He rubbed me there through my clothes, pressing against me from behind. “…assuming I’m understanding the Lao Hu euphemisms correctly. I may have to fight him later…”

He paused, his fingers tightening in my hair. Pain rose sharply in his light.

“Gaos,”
he said. “Are you almost done in here? If not, I might need to go jerk off. All I can think about is last night…” His arms wrapped around me, stronger as his pain worsened. “I want to do that again,” he murmured against my neck. “That thing that made me come for about twenty fucking minutes when I finally got you there.
Gaos
…”

I winced against the images and pain that he flickered at me, cutting my breath.

Then I turned, pushing him back with a firm palm on his chest.

“Jem.” Clenching my jaw, I stepped away from him, putting more distance between us. “Don’t touch me around them. I mean it. I’ve got enough shit to deal with right now.”

He gave me a wry smile, holding up his hands in a peace gesture.

I watched him, my gaze narrow as he retreated from the room, walking backwards.

“Your place later?” he said. “Or mine?” He smirked. “Or you could just ride my cock during dinner. Maybe it would get you to stay long enough to actually finish a meal…” His grin widened as he looked me over in a flickering glance. “I really don’t think the others would mind, lover, whatever you say. Anyway, you’re loud…it would save them having to listen to you while they’re trying to sleep, at least…”

I grunted, not dignifying that with an answer.

He let out a low laugh as he disappeared the rest of the way through the doorway.

Before he’d gone, he sent a last, dense pulse of heat at me, hitting me again in the lower belly and groin. It held enough pain that I sucked in a sharper breath. Flushing and clicking under my breath, I watched him wink at me, that predatory look rising in his eyes.

Once he was gone, I rubbed my face with a hand, blinking to get my head back on straight.

Five months. It had been five months.

It felt like a lifetime had gone by.

Shoving that out of my mind, I focused back down on the virtual console. I was studying the configuration of lights there, most of them coming from the cluster of infiltrators we had hunting Eddard and Dragon. A lot more of them managed to track some thread of Eddard’s light than Dragon’s. I keyed in an instruction to Maygar, who was closest to the flavor of light most of the others ID’d as Revik’s ex-manservant.

I was looking at the rest of the board again when a voice rose in my headset.

“He’s getting possessive,” it said.

I tensed. Realizing I’d left the line open while Dalejem and I had been talking, I felt my face heat. How the hell had I done that? Seriously?

But I knew the answer to that, too.

Stress. Exhaustion. Too much time hanging over this damned console. Not enough sleep…or food. ‘Dori and I often shared passive channels for this kind of thing, particularly when coordinating multiple infiltration units at the same time. In this case, neither of us had spoken aloud in such a long stretch of minutes, I just forgot.

And yeah. I was really tired.

“Allie,” Balidor said, clicking. “I am not judging. I am trying to talk to you. As a friend.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah.”

“I mean it,” Balidor said. His voice shifted into a harder warning. “You weren’t raised seer. You still…miss things. Particularly in this area for some reason. I am telling you, you need to be careful with Jem. He’s getting possessive.”

Clicking softly, I shook my head, even though I knew he wouldn’t see it without the visuals. “He’s not interested in me,” I reminded him. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Not when it comes to
Jem
of all people.”

I felt Balidor’s skepticism through the line.

“I disagree,” he said only.

Rolling my eyes, I exhaled, then decided fuck it, I would have the conversation. It was the first time anyone bothered to ask me about it directly, so I should honor the fact that Balidor had the decency to do that much at least. Maybe it would stop some of the stares and murmurs I’d been forced to endure for the past however-many weeks.

Or maybe not. But at least it would be out in the open.

“Look,” I said, exhaling again. “‘Dori, I get how this all must seem. And I get how that probably sounded just now. But Jem’s not interested in me. He’s openly admitted to me that he’s in love with Revik. He’s
admitted
it. More than once––”

“That may be,” Balidor cut in. “But I am telling you, I know Jem. I’ve known him for years, Alyson. I trained with him in the Pamir…I’ve seen him in other relationships.”

“So?” I said, flipping a hand sideways over the console.

“So,” Balidor said, his voice harder. “I know what he is like when he’s taking something lightly. I’ve seen him in those types of relationships…many, if you want the truth. He was more or less known for those types of relationships when I knew him. I have seen it when a particular liaison went on for weeks…months, even…like this thing has with the two of you. I have seen it when the sexual component was intense…”

“So?” I said again, unimpressed. “He likes to fuck around. So do a lot of seers. What does it matter, ‘Dori?”

“I’m saying, that is
not
how this looks,” Balidor cut in, exasperated. “Not to me. Not from here. Not at all. And incidentally…” he added, his voice holding more of an edge. “He was not like this with your husband.”

I felt my jaw harden. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said,” Balidor said, clicking in annoyance. “I am not speaking
code,
Alyson. I am telling you, he was not like this with Nenzi. He was completely different with him. Like a different person entirely.”

“Well…yeah.” Making an annoyed sound, I bit my lip. “Did you miss the part about how he’s
in love
with Revik, ‘Dor? That tends to make people behave a little differently than when they’re just––”

“That’s not what I mean.” Exhaling, Balidor seemed to be thinking as he next spoke. “How he was with Nenzi is more how I think of Jem in general, I guess. He’s always had a lot of casual sex…but Jem is also soft-hearted. He is one who has been teased for bringing in strays. There was some of this with Jem and your husband, too. Nenzi was a different man at the time, and not a very happy one. I think Jem knew that, and––”

“‘Dor, stop.” For the first time, I was genuinely angry. “That is
none
of my business. Do you get that? Neither one of them has shared
anything
about their relationship with me. And frankly, I don’t think I should be hearing it from you.”

“Allie,” Balidor said, his voice harder. “I am not trying to disclose private moments between your husband and Jem. I am saying Jem is
different
with you. With Nenzi, he was not so territorial. Or aggressive. Or fucking
sexual,
Allie. It might sound strange, but he was actually…softer. He was possessive, yes, but not at all like this. His reactions to you strike me as more…” He hesitated, and I could almost see him scanning through words, trying to find the one he wanted. “…Volatile.”

“Volatile?” I said.

My voice held disbelief, but honestly I was more annoyed.

I knew exactly what he was driving at. I knew it came from a place of concern, I didn’t sense any ulterior motives, but somehow that only irritated me more.

“Are you saying he’s fixated?” I said, exhaling my annoyance. “Because, honestly? I’m a little sick of how often that accusation gets thrown around in relation to the men in my life––”

“And I think you vastly underestimate the effect your light has on other seers,” Balidor cut in, his voice verging on angry. “Despite how often me and your husband and whoever else try to caution you about that very thing.” Pausing, maybe to give me time to hear his words, he made his voice blunt. “Are you sharing light with him? Jem?”

I felt my jaw harden more. “Getting kind of personal there, aren’t you, brother?”

“I’m trying to look out for you!” Balidor snapped. “Are you sharing light with him, or not? Are you really not going to tell me that?”

Clicking under my breath, I gave in, throwing up a hand.

“No,” I said, blunt. “I’m not, ‘Dor…not like it would matter if I was. It’s just sex. Jem likes playing games, but that doesn’t mean––”

“I’m telling you, you are
wrong
about that, Allie,” Balidor said, his voice angrier. “And about him. Has he asked you for an agreement of any kind?”

“No.” I exhaled again. Glancing at the door in reflex, I switched to sub-vocals when I added, “‘Dori, I’m married.” Pain returned to my chest as I said it, even as I forced my light back, clenching my jaw. Shrugging, I added flatly, “Maybe not in Revik’s mind anymore, but in my mind, I am. So I appreciate your concern, I do…but no matter how things look to you, there isn’t going to be any ‘agreement.’ Not between me and Jem. Not between me and anyone. And Jem would never ask me for that, anyway…”

Feeling the argument building in the Adhipan seer’s light, I cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I said, still using the sub-vocals. “Jem’s a big boy. I’ve been crystal clear about where my loyalties lie. He has, too. I think you’re worrying for nothing, honestly.”

“You know Revik will kill him,” Balidor said, his voice cutting. “He’ll fucking
kill
him, Allie…whatever you tell yourself. Or hadn’t that occurred to you?”

I felt his words in my chest.

For an instant, pain overwhelmed my light.