Down the Shore (30 page)

I inhaled the wonderful aroma, “Perfect."

They both looked at each other and chuckled happily. His mother put on a pot of tea.

As I ate, they sat there looking over at me now and then. I could tell they had something to ask, but I didn't really feel like doing twenty questions. I wanted to eat and get back to Colin.

"Abby, what do you think about the wedding, sooner or later?” they asked.

I thought for a brief second.

"Sooner, I hope.” I looked down and patted my stomach.

I could see the next question coming.

"And your family?"

I couldn't hide my feelings.

"Not sure, yet,” I admitted.

His mother sat close to me. “Don't you worry your pretty head. It'll be grand, I can assure you, love.” She spoke with such tenderness in her voice. She won my heart. “They'll come around. A baby brings so much joy."

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The weeks seemed to fly by, and soon it was the end of October. We had the wedding preparations underway, and I was starting to show. Colin teased me, saying I was barely showing, but I felt huge. My pants were snug and nothing seemed to fit right. My mother was arriving the next morning with Mike, but my father would not be making the trip. She told me he had to work, and could not break away. I knew deep down he was disappointed, but I felt excited to see them. We had spoken several times since I left home, and the conversation usually went the same way. My mother told me she was sad, disappointed, but needed to see me. Colin intended to pick them up the airport, allowing me to sleep in as much as possible. I was a little hesitant to let him go alone, but at this point it was all settled.

They arrived at seven, and I was awake already, dressed and had already eaten. I sat anxiously in the downstairs pub with Maggie. She kept making me drink tea and more tea, to ease the butterflies in my stomach. Mike was the first one to enter, running to hug me. He had grown again, and he was really a good-looking kid.

"The girls must be going crazy,” I joked, holding onto him, tousling his hair.

My mom came in right behind Mike with Colin. She stood in the doorway. Maggie held my hand in hers, holding it tightly. I saw a quick flicker of appreciation Colin had for Maggie in that moment. I'm sure he wanted to be the one holding my hand, easing my fears.

Letting go of Maggie, I went over to my mom.

"Mom, I can't believe you're here.” I held my arms out to meet her. She started crying immediately.

"Abby, you do look wonderful.” She pulled me back to get a good look, “Beautiful.” She held me close, weeping, not able to let go.

"I'm sorry, so sorry about this, Mom. I don't even know what to say anymore.” I was shaking, and this was the first time I had seen her since she dropped me off at school.

"Abby, we can't change what's happened. You know how Daddy and I feel, but I don't want to lose you,” she sighed. “Abby, I just missed you so much. We'll figure this out.” She grabbed me into a bear hug again, squeezing me as tears spilled down her cheeks. I hated myself for making her feel like this.

I had never really asked Colin about the conversations he had with my family. I trusted him and his judgment. Whatever he had done was working. She wasn't mad anymore, and she seemed happy for me. She and Mike were staying for the week.

We planned the wedding, the baby shower, everything all at once. My mother and Colin's mother got along wonderfully, and kept busy with all the preparations that needed to be made. Colin kept my little brother busy, taking him on tours, showing him different pubs, meeting girls. We both wanted to be married before the baby came, so we planned a March wedding in Wicklow. My mom was not too thrilled with this, but we convinced her that it was what we wanted. We had both expressed interest in a small ceremony, but his mother wouldn't hear of it. It was her first child getting married, and a grandchild on the way to boot, so she wanted the entire world to be there.

I imagined how big I would be. A March wedding would only give us two months ‘til the baby was due. After much debate, we decided to give in. We did as much as we could together while my mother was there. We shopped, we talked, we cried. She even shared some stories, telling me all about Colin coming to my rescue. She told me he refused to walk away from our relationship, how we loved each other, and how he gave them the choice to accept it or lose me.

She also tried to explain the situation with my father, as he had not come around as completely as she had, but insisted he would be there to walk me down the aisle. She wanted to be a part of my life and knew this was the only way to go. She wasn't thrilled that it was all coming so early in my life, but realized she couldn't change it. Our living in Ireland would be difficult for her, but she would come over as often as possible, she promised, and we would travel to New Jersey as much as much as we could. She insisted that we come for the two weeks to the shore in the summer, and we agreed happily. I was excited for my child to go there. I had a million memories as a kid growing up there. I wanted him or her to experience similar things as well.

The week came and went quickly, and before they left, I promised I would try to get home for Christmas. I wouldn't be able to fly much later than that. The holidays were right around the corner, and I desperately wanted go home to see my father. Colin agreed. He knew how much pain not seeing my father caused, and the stress wasn't good for me or the baby. I called my mother with the news that we would be coming in for Christmas for a long weekend. She was thrilled. His family was a little disappointed that we weren't staying, but understood. We would be back in time for New Year's Eve.

The flight was smooth, and I was eager to get off the plane. I was hoping my father would be there to pick us up. He wasn't.

Colin sensed how tense I had become when we realized he hadn't come. He gripped my hand tightly, pulling it toward him, kissing it and winked. “No worries."

My mother looked on.

"He's home, waiting. He's going to try,” she assured me.

The drive was painfully long, or at least it seemed that way. It was cold, with a little snow on the ground. I stared out the window the whole time, while Colin and my mother were busy up front talking about all the preparations being made back in my new home. As we pulled up to the house, I gasped. I had expected to see the Christmas lights hanging from the gutters, reindeer on the lawn, decorations galore. There were none, I couldn't believe it. My father was always known as ‘The Clark Griswald’ of the neighborhood. This year there was nothing.

My mother saw that I noticed.

"He didn't have it in him this year, with you gone. The inside looks beautiful. I took care of that,” she promised.

I didn't want to get out of the car, and I didn't want to move. I wanted to go back to Ireland, and not worry about anything. Colin's family had made me feel so comfortable, so safe, so special.

Colin took my hand, helping me out of the back seat, and led me into the house. My father was waiting, playing checkers with Mike. Mike jumped up to greet us quickly, hugging me, glancing back at my dad. He looked up slowly, tears in his eyes.

My dad stood up, and drew me to him.

"I missed you, kiddo,” he sobbed, and then walked away, into the kitchen.

My mother came over, resting her hand on my shoulder.

"Give him some time, he'll come around,” she murmured.

Colin took our things upstairs, my brother showing him to my room. I suddenly remembered as he headed upstairs that I only had a double bed, and it would be uncomfortable sleeping together, as I was getting bigger. I required a lot more space these days. I stayed downstairs for a little while, having tea with my mother. Colin insisted on bringing his Yorkshire Gold teabags with us. Apparently the tea sucks here.

It wasn't long before jet lag took over, and I excused myself to go lie down. I returned a few hours later, fully rested to see them all sitting on the couch watching ‘A Christmas Story.’ I paused at the bottom of the staircase. I couldn't help but wonder how that happened. My father sat there, within two feet of my fiance', whom he detested for taking away his girl.

Colin's head turned when he heard my footsteps coming closer toward the room. He sprang from his seat, grabbed my hand and walked me over to join them.

"Do you need anything?” he asked, pulling the blanket from the couch and placing it on my lap.

I shook my head no. I stared into his eyes, asking without talking. He knew exactly what the question was, and he winked and grinned.

My mother had brought some milk and cookies out for us all to eat. I loved her peanut butter cookies, and she knew I couldn't resist. I sat there eating the entire batch by myself and drank a half gallon of milk in the process. It always amused Colin, and he would just laugh when my appetite took over. He rubbed my stomach softly. I could tell my father noticed us, the way we interacted together, the love we both felt for one another. I could see in his eyes that he was starting not only to appreciate Colin Murphy, but to accept him as well.

By the fourth and last day, even though my life had taken a drastic course other than the one they'd hoped for, he was completely accepted into my family. Christmas was wonderful, and I was glad that we made the trip, happy to leave on a good note. My parents had already booked their flight for the wedding, and I would see them in just over two months. The wedding was being held on March fifth, Colin's twenty-first birthday. They would make another trip in early May, when the baby was due.

We arrived back in Ireland the day before New Year's Eve, and his sisters had taken it upon themselves to decorate the flat. It looked amazing. They wanted to surprise me. There was a Christmas tree in our bedroom, and greenery wrapped around everything they could find. It was perfect.

I was happy to be home. I felt slightly tired and looked forward to sleeping with Colin's arms around me. He slept on the couch the entire time at my parents’ house, knowing that I needed the space and the sleep. He kissed me goodnight. I nestled my head onto his chest, and he played with the strands of my hair as I drifted off to sleep.

On New Year's Eve, his family decided to throw a huge party down at the pub, inviting everyone and anyone who knew them to celebrate. I think the entire city of Dublin came to see us and wish us well. Of course, I couldn't make it to midnight, so we celebrated in our own way. Nothing made me happier than to be in Colin's arms, making love, our bodies touching each other. That was celebration enough for me, and we were completely content to be ringing in the New Year alone.

January and February went as fast as the previous few months. Colin kept me as busy as my body would let me be, and when he couldn't, someone in his family would entertain me.

With the wedding only a few days away, I felt relieved that my family would be coming soon and I would finally be Mrs. Colin Murphy. I was heartbroken, knowing Makenna couldn't make the wedding, but excited knowing we would see her later in the summer.

I was nervous to put on my dress, and it had to be let out once more before the big day. I wasn't as huge as I thought I would be, but I was big enough and getting uncomfortable. I had only gained eighteen pounds at this point, but it felt like fifty. My mother helped me get ready, dressing me, doing my hair. I insisted on having my hair down, with loose curls. I knew how Colin loved to get lost in my hair, to lose himself in the scent of my shampoo.

Colin had asked me to pack a small bag, a few days worth of clothes, as we were going to London for a long weekend, our honeymoon. He didn't want to take me too far, in case anything happened. I was still two months away, but the doctor said ‘no’ to travelling heavily the last few weeks. I was looking forward to being alone, just the two of us. Lately, someone was always with us.

The wedding was beautiful, crowded, but beautiful. I couldn't help but laugh when I looked out into the church. There were many more people than I had expected. There were white roses and my favorite, white tulips, scattered throughout the church, pew after pew. The aroma filled the room, and I closed my eyes, breathing in the different fragrances. My father held onto my arm tightly as he walked me slowly down the aisle. Colin was breathtaking as usual, standing at the altar waiting for me.

He wore a beautiful black tuxedo. I had never seen him in anything other than jeans and T-shirts. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had his usual perfect grin on his face, but today it seemed happier than I had ever seen. His outstretched hand waited for mine to meet his. My father kissed me one last time before handing me over. As he let go, our hands intertwined instantly.

I closed my eyes, taking a quick breath, and opened them back up. I almost wanted to pinch myself to make sure this was really happening. I couldn't help but chuckle, and Colin looked at me with playful eyes, trying to figure out the reason for the quiet little outburst that only he could hear.

I whispered, “You shaved."

He nodded. “Anything for you, love.” He paused. “Ah, Maggie made me,” he confessed.

I could only focus on Colin's face. Occasionally I heard someone gasp for a quick breath, trying not to cry. It was the most perfect hour of my life. We said our vows. We had decided to make up our own. My mother cried the entire time as she listened to us explain the love that we held for each other.

Colin spoke first.

"You changed my life from the moment I met you, and I knew that I would marry you someday. I had never seen anyone so beautiful, so perfect as you. I've loved you from day one and I will love you until the end, Abigail. It was always you, and it will always be you I love.” He spoke softly, and tears slowly trickled down his face. It was like we were the only two people in the room, and there was no one else around. I was completely focused on him. When it was my turn, I didn't know how to talk, his words were so perfect. As I lifted my eyes to meet his, I took his chin in my hand, making him focus.