Down the Shore (16 page)

We started driving home and I knew as we approached Ocean City what I wanted to do. I wanted to spend the night with him.

"Would it be okay if I stayed at your place tonight?” I asked, still a little nervous.

He gave me his impish smile. “You sure?"

"I'm not ready for bed and there is so much I still don't know about you,” I rambled on.

He grinned. “Nothing would make me happier."

We pulled up to his house. There were already a bunch of people partying on the deck. We walked past the crowd and headed straight for his bedroom.

"Yo, Colin, what's up? Nice, man!” someone yelled to him from the crowd. He turned briefly around, and stuck up his middle finger.

"Don't worry about that."

"I wasn't,” I reassured him.

He threw me a T-shirt and a pair of his boxer shorts to change into. “I'll be back in a few, okay?"

I pulled off my clothes and quickly redressed. I pulled his boxers and shirt on to sleep in. I peered around his room, taking every inch of it in before I heard a knock on the door.

"Abigail?"

"Okay,” I yelled out. “You can come in."

He walked in and looked me up and down. His eyes stared nervously at my body.

"Wow, you are sure something to look at.” He walked toward me, taking my hands. “Amazing.” He kissed me with such conviction, such ferocity. I fell back onto his bed and pulled him on top of me. I didn't want it to stop; I didn't want it to end. He must have known what I was feeling, thinking. He grabbed my hand and pulled me slowly off him. I rolled back on top of him quickly. I didn't want there to be any separation.

"There's no rush, love. It doesn't have to be tonight,” he assured me. He kissed me one last time then pulled himself back. I laughed and pulled him down next to me.

"Fine, tell me more about you. We always talk about me, and I don't know anything about you, other than your feelings and how you want me and all,” I teased.

I was relieved he stopped.

He sighed.

"Not much to say. I'm from a little town south of Dublin, called Wicklow. My lads and I were getting into some trouble back home, and my ma thought it would be best for me to get away for the summer. She asked me to come here and take a break from some of me friends back home. I came with Liam, and he got me the job.” He hesitated for a brief moment. “We were up to no good so I agreed to come to the states for the summer with Liam. I'll have to thank my ma for this one.” He paused briefly while he stared into my eyes. “I'm due back before September, I'm enrolled in University.” He pulled my hair through his fingers. “I love the way you smell,” he added, leaning in getting a whiff of my coconut shampoo.

"Thanks.” I was curious about some of the things he told me.

"What kind of trouble were you getting into?” I asked.

He sighed, “Abigail, I'd rather not get into this.” He pressed his lips to mine to help me forget everything we had just spoken about. I laid in his arms, not sure if I would be able to fall asleep.

"Do you have to go back to Ireland?” I asked, sadly.

"Yes, I do. Don't worry, though, we'll figure something out.” He stared through me, knowing all of my fears.

He held me in his arms the entire night. I dreamed again, and I could smell his scent flooding into my senses. Colin looked down on me, and his hand reached out to pick me up. I saw only the shadow of his face, the cross dangling from his neck. “I love you.” His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, not giving me a chance to breathe. His hands took my clothes off—and then suddenly I felt a pain in my right side.

I startled, waking up from the most perfect dream I had ever had. Colin lay quietly on the bed, not even noticing that I had fallen off. He felt like a piece of heaven sent to me. I had never seen anything so perfect in my entire life. I lay back down beside him, gently touching his stomach under the blankets, hearing him sigh in his sleep. I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

I realized that I had slept in when I woke. As he carefully caressed my forearm, I turned over to look at the time. It was already eleven. I had slept so peacefully, aware of the arms that encircled me all night.

"Good morning, darlin'.” He pulled my hand toward his mouth, and kissed every fingertip. I chuckled nervously. Would he still like what he saw? I rolled over and kissed his lips, “Good morning."

"Ahh, just what I expected, even more lovely in the morning', just lovely,” he said.

I shook my head, jumping out of bed, “You're crazy."

I quickly dolloped some toothpaste onto my fingers and rubbed them frantically back and forth. I ran my fingers through my hair so I could run back in to be with him. I didn't care what we did. As long as were together, it was fine. If we just lay there staring at each other, no problem. I was happy, and I knew this was the kind of love that I wanted, that I needed. I fluttered at the thought, and looked at myself one last time in the mirror.

He insisted on walking me home. I was a little hesitant with Nick living above, and Makenna not knowing where I had spent the night. I was afraid Nick was waiting, and that some kind of fight would break out. As we approached the house, my nerves rattled and I opened the door. I couldn't tell if he felt my anxiety. I strolled toward the back of the house.

"I'll just be a minute, okay?” I ran into the bathroom to have a girl-moment to myself. A few minutes later, I heard talking out in the kitchen, and I was eager to talk with Makenna about my new relationship with Colin. What would she think? She had a relationship with Anthony, Nick's friend. That was easier to hang out together. This wouldn't allow for any double-dating. I slowly approached, trying to overhear the conversation.

"Hey, Colin! What are you doing here?” She sounded surprised.

"It's not what you think, lass, we just spent the night talking. It's really none of your business.” He was protecting me. “If she wants you to know, she'll tell ya."

"Just as long as Abby's fine, that's okay with me.” She paused. “She did tell you about Nick, right?"

I quickly picked up my pace.

I interrupted, “Makenna, did you have a good night?"

"Apparently not as good as yours, but mine was fine.” She looked over at me, like she was judging me, obviously confused as to how this all went down. I shot her a quick look, asking her to stop pressing me about everything right now.

I turned back to Colin, having hoped to spend the day with him.

"Do you want to go to the beach today?"

"Wish I could, love, but I have some things to attend to before work."

He grabbed my chin, kissed my lips in his soft gentle way. He had such tenderness in each kiss, it never felt rushed. He lingered there for a few seconds, and I was back in heaven.

He turned to Makenna. “Makenna,” he gestured, waving so-long with his hand.

He left. I glanced back at Makenna. I couldn't imagine what was going through her head.

"What's your problem?” I asked.

"I don't have a problem, I just thought you were with Nick, that's all."

"Well, I'm not,” I insisted. “I already told you that."

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting...Colin, although maybe I should have. Everyone at Clancy's is talking about the two of you. Let's not forget the kiss at The WindDrift.” She furrowed her brow.

"What?” I looked at her intently.

"Yeah, he's pretty much an open book when it comes to you.” She hesitated. “Maddy's not too thrilled. She liked him."

"I know, but I can't control that and he's in love with me....not her. I mean that's what he told me.” I was excited to tell her all the private information he and I shared.

"Back up—he told you that he loved you?"

I smiled. “He did. Oh, my God, Mac, he's so amazing. I can't even begin to explain him, but I love him too."

"If you're happy, that's all that matters,” she said, reaching over and hugging me.

She was my best friend and I wanted her to like him. We sat for what seemed all afternoon, me telling her everything, her listening. She didn't judge me; she understood that Nick and I were over. She didn't care. She was happy for me, exactly how I would feel for her if she asked me to.

We decided to head down to the beach, do a little swimming and just completely relax for the day together, just the two of us. We placed our towels carefully down in our usual spot. The breeze felt strong. It was hard to get the towels to lay straight. We had to help each other, and the towels blew around so fast by the time we got one side down, the other flipped back up.

Not so long after, Nick, Bill and Anthony appeared and stood right over us, peering down. I hadn't seen Nick since I made plans to watch the fireworks with him. I wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation, but I was also aware of Makenna watching me.

"Ladies,” Anthony said. They threw their towels down next to ours, and turned the radio on.

I was uncomfortable. I didn't want him lying next to me. I stood up, unsure of myself and what to do next, and just looked down at them.

"I'm going for a swim."

"Want some company?” Nick asked.

"No, thanks. I'd rather be alone.” I walked off into the water. I didn't look back, and I didn't see his face. Was he mad, I wondered? I didn't care. The water was cold, the kind of cold that makes your toes go numb. I wanted to get out and lie in the hot sun, but I didn't dare. I stayed in and let my body adjust to the temperature. I looked around. There were plenty of kids swimming, and very few adults. It always made me laugh, because kids were so tolerant when it came to the coldness of water. They could swim for hours and never complain. I started to float so I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face and body. It felt nice, but my body still felt cold. I had to get out and face him, and I couldn't take the water temperature anymore.

I lay back down, not saying a word, just biding my time. It wasn't long before he reached over, and touched my leg.

"Nick, don't,” I scolded.

"What's the matter?” he asked. “What happened to you last night, I came down at exactly nine like you said?"

"Can we talk about this another time?” I didn't want to break up with him in front of everyone. Makenna quickly noticed how uncomfortable I was getting.

"Anthony, Bill, let's go for a swim,” she suggested.

I saw Nick giving them the go ahead with his eyes. They all jumped up quickly and were gone, running into the water.

Two seconds later, Nick started in on me. “All right, Abby, you're up. What's wrong?” He looked confused, and it made me chuckle quietly. Was he that much of an idiot that he didn't see this coming?

"Okay, Nick, if this is the way you want it, fine! I don't want to see you anymore, not in that way at least. It's just not working out for me."

"You're kidding, right?” he asked, shocked, as he rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

"No, I'm sorry. It's over.” I pushed his hands away. I grabbed my towel, stood up and stormed off the beach. I felt a sense of relief. It was over. It was the first time I'd had to end a relationship, and it was easier than I thought. I felt a little bad for Nick, but we were all wrong from the beginning. I felt so happy, so free of that doomed relationship. He was the first real guy I was interested in, and I was glad he wasn't going to be my last. Colin Murphy was the only person I could see in my head, in my future. Once back home, I spent the rest of the day sitting on the porch with a good book and a glass of lemonade, casually day-dreaming about my future.

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The next week went by fast. I spent all my time with Colin or at work. We were getting closer every day, never leaving each other's side, except for brief moments. We spent many of those nights at the pub in Atlantic City. It made him feel like he was closer to home. He felt a little homesick and missed his family, and I sensed his rising excitement to be heading back to see them soon. He teased me constantly that he was going to steal me. He didn't want to leave me behind.

We always ended up back at my apartment, as his was crowded and constantly loud. We stayed in my room, talking, enjoying each other, yet he never once pressured me to do anything I didn't want to do. He was a breath of fresh air compared to Nick. This is what love was meant to be like.

It was late, after midnight. It had been nine blissful days of dating. Colin was out for the night, and I was alone. His friends had been ragging him out for not hanging with them more, and since our shifts were different that day, I told him to go out and spend some time with them. He obliged, telling me he would call later in the evening.

The moon wasn't bright enough to light the sky, making it dark on the beach. The clouds covered most of the stars. It was quiet and peaceful. I sat back on the dunes, feeling the cold sand as I wedged my feet underneath. I had been down the shore for over four weeks and had fallen madly in love. So much had happened in such a short period, and I was so new to all of it. I didn't think it could be possible that he was holding onto my heart so completely. I had never met anyone who could make me feel the way that he made me feel. If somehow I spent the rest of my life in Colin Murphy's arms, that would be fine with me. There were a few obstacles to overcome, however, such as college, lifestyle and the most important, geography.

Then again maybe this was it. Only to enjoy him for one brief summer. I wanted to make the most of it, but was painfully afraid to keep going. My heart had never felt this kind of love and despair all at once. It was a struggle. My heart wanted to be with him, but my brain said something else. I didn't think I would be able to take seeing him walk away.

Ireland was far away, too far to make it last. As much as he loved me, he had to go back. He had one more year of college, his family, his entire life. I wanted to beg him to stay, to hold me forever, to never let me go, but I knew I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. We would try to figure out a way to be together if not now, soon enough, as he promised. I was lost in thought, my head in a far away place, daydreaming about my future.