“Bluntly put, my skills are excellent or I wouldn’t be here,” she said. “But it isn’t your lack of field skills that bothers me, Justin.” Being honest was difficult, but Maggie refused to lie to him. She brushed her shoulder-length blond hair back behind her shoulder. “This will be horribly blunt, and I have no desire to hurt you, but the truth is, I don’t trust you. And I try very hard to never be in a position where I must depend on someone I don’t trust.”
Now he was seriously offended and challenged her. “What exactly have I done to destroy your trust?”
She shrugged.
“Then your rationale escapes me.”
Why did he keep pushing her on this?
Truth dawned and reflected in his eyes. He had put the puzzle pieces into place. “Whose sins am I being punished for, Maggie? Kunz and GRID, or is this about your ex-husband?”
Shame washed through her. She couldn’t meet Justin’s eyes. He knew way too much about her personal situation already. The shame and sadness, the regret that she couldn’t go back and change anything. Not in her marriage, or in her reaction to finding out about Jack and Karen, which was totally and completely humiliating. To be that angry, that out of control…seemed so right. Dr. Morgan Cabot said hers wasn’t an uncommon reaction to discovering adultery with a friend and that Maggie should forgive herself. But she looked at the wedding band on her finger and she just couldn’t do it.
Justin knew most of that, except about Morgan, of course. Why did he keep pressing her?
Her chest went tight. “I don’t know whether it’s fear you’re a double or because of Jack,” she said honestly, feeling more confused than she’d felt since having her first crush on a guy in high school. “Maybe it’s neither, or maybe it’s both.” She risked a glance up into his eyes. “I’m not being a smart-ass, Justin. You confuse me.”
You make me think and feel things I don’t want to feel,
she wanted to say, but didn’t. Something swelled in her throat, threatening to choke off her air. She rubbed at it, hoping it’d go away, knowing it wouldn’t.
And then the reason hit her. He could hurt her. She liked him, and he could hurt her. “Do we have to get into this?”
“Considering my life and those of a hell of lot of others could well be in your hands, damn right we have to get into this. You made a judgment call against me. I deserve to know the basis of it, Maggie. Right now, I’m not comfortable relying on you, either. But I would like to be.”
Her stomach revolting, her lungs air-starved, she set down her fork and laced her hands in her lap. “I’m afraid that the problem between us just hit me.” She stared at him, not quite believing what she was about to say herself. “I—I like you, Justin.”
He smiled. “That’s good news, not a problem.”
“Oh, yes, it is. No, don’t laugh. I’m serious.” She wiped a damp palm on the napkin draped over her lap. “It’s—it’s…” At a loss for words, she waved small circles with her hand.
“It’s worse,” he said. “Because I like you, too.”
“Oh, hell.” She did
not
want to hear that. Her hand on her thigh shook. Well, okay, she did want to hear it, but she damn well shouldn’t. What a mess! The timing was so wrong. Maybe she’d plead for mercy. What else was left? Shame, anger, embarrassment, humiliation, and now this?
Nothing. Nothing was left. In some way, he’d touched something inside her. She didn’t like it. Okay, she did like it, but she shouldn’t like it. And she didn’t want to like it. Definitely, plead for mercy. “Justin, just let this go. Please. I don’t want to create unnecessary tension between us, and I don’t want to lie to you. Nothing will be gained by us hashing through this, so there’s no need and no benefit in pursuing this discussion.”
“No need?” He looked shocked. “There’s every need.”
Maggie stared at him a long moment. He wouldn’t relent. “Okay, then. Fine. But remember that you insisted.” Irritated at being shoved into a corner, she washed down her food with a long drink of cold tea, then set down her glass. Chilled drops slid down its slick side to the table. “During the course of my life, I’ve determined a few things to be true. One you’re familiar with already. Men are very good at deceit and cannot be trusted.”
“A crime committed by one man, for which you’re condemning an entire gender?”
“Not only one man, Justin.” She gave him a pointed look, reminding him of his own infidelity.
His face flushed, but he didn’t acknowledge that he was as guilty as Jack had been. “For you, there’s a lot more going on here than a lack of trust,” Justin speculated. “That can be earned. But you said there were a few things. What are the others?”
Earned. Yes, maybe. But he said it as if it were as easy as picking up a Sunday paper. It wasn’t. It was damned hard. She returned to her topic. “There are two,” she said. “The first is that men make promises and vows to appease women—and they break them the very second women interfere with what they want to do.”
“Ah, I understand now.”
She drank from her glass. “What?”
“The reason Colonel Drake warned you about the rules. I thought that was odd at the time, but now I totally understand why she felt compelled to issue the order.”
Irritated at being this transparent, she bristled. “It’s important to follow the rules, Justin. Rules. Like promises or
vows, when you break them, the result isn’t a hypothetical. It’s real, and too often, real people get hurt.”
He had to be angry. It should be radiating from him, but not a hint of it was evident in his voice. Silky-soft and smooth, it never wavered. “And your third truth?” He encouraged her to go on.
She did, seeing no sense in not saying it all now that most of it was already on the table. “Three. It’s my ironclad policy never to trust a man who cheats.”
“Because you divorced one,” he said.
“Yes.” And it’d damn near killed her. “Your marriage is none of my business, Justin, and I’m first to admit it. But it would be foolish to ignore our histories. As you said, lives depend on the decisions and judgment calls we make.”
“And personal feelings just blur the lines on rules and make things messy.”
“That, too.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. The look in his eyes turned hard and cold. Still his voice stayed velvet-soft. “I’m not shocked, Maggie,” he said. “Maybe a little disappointed in you, but I’m not surprised that when you look at me, all you see is a man who cheated on his wife who might also, despite Colonel Drake’s vouching for me, be one of Kunz’s body doubles.”
“I don’t think you’re a double—not at the moment, anyway.” Confusion inside her created chaos. Was he trying to provoke her or to make her feel guilty? She refused to feel either. Her feelings were her own, valid and forged in the agony that follows betrayal, in the pain of being tossed suddenly from the lifetime expectancy of “us” into “just me” without warning. She’d trudged through months of
depression and hell, wondering if her job had been the cause of their problems. Wondering why, during a time of national crisis, it had been so easy for her husband and best friend to hurt her and lie to her. She’d suffered, and she still suffered because there were no easy answers to these questions and a million more like them that haunted her. Often, there were no answers at all.
No, Justin Crowe wasn’t going to make her second-guess what she knew to be true. She’d lived the victim side of the unfaithful. She’d trusted Jack implicitly, totally and completely. And with no warning, he’d left her broken and devastated in the pile of rubble that once had been her life.
No man would ever have that power over her again. She just couldn’t survive it twice.
The waitress silently poured coffee, clearly picking up on the tension at the table. She cast a covert glance at Maggie’s hand, checking for a wedding band, and seemed reassured on seeing one, then left the table.
“I feel the sadness in you, Maggie.” Justin added cream to his coffee. “I’m sorry you were hurt.”
She swallowed hard, lifted her chin. “No, I’m sorry.” She bit her lip, took responsibility. “I had no right to say any of that to you.”
He rubbed the handle of his cup with his thumb. “I might have gotten more than I wanted, but at least you were honest. I can respect an honest woman.”
What did he mean by that? Clearly there was a message in that comment, but exactly what was it? “Look,” she said. “I really don’t want a war with you. I was serious earlier. You have been helpful here, and we do have to work together. It will be so much easier if we do so on a friendly footing.”
“I don’t want a war, either. But let’s face it, you like me and I like you.” He stopped a second and sadness swept over his face. “The battle lines have been drawn. Between you and me, but even more so, between you and a man I’ve never met, and between me and a woman you’ve never met.” He chewed at his lip. “For what it’s worth, Maggie, I’m sad, too. I guess when we get down to it, we’re both victims of our experience.”
His sadness slid through her protective shield. “I guess we are.” Mutual regret that they suffered hit her hard. Looking at Justin Crowe honestly, she regretted it deeply. She might even resent it.
“Under the circumstances, I feel it’s only fair to tell you that I don’t trust you, either, Maggie.”
That shocked her. She hadn’t lied, hadn’t given him any reason to doubt her personal ethics or her professional abilities. So why did he feel this way? Finally, she steeled herself and worked up the courage to ask. “Why not?”
“I can’t.” He placed his napkin on the table and signaled for the check. “No matter how smart or capable a woman might be, I could never trust a woman who holds so much sadness and bitterness in her heart that she has no room left for understanding or compassion—or even benefit of doubt enough to suspend passing judgment on the past and consider looking at the present.”
Now Maggie was offended. Enormously. “Don’t judge me, Justin.” She had enough trouble with judging herself.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t you judge me?”
She had. But he had cheated on Andrea. Of course, Maggie acknowledged that. What sane woman wouldn’t? “That’s different.”
“Only because you’re the one doing it.”
The waitress walked over and placed the check on the table.
Maggie swallowed her resentment, anger and that foolish hurt. She’d learned many things from her experience with Jack and Karen. One was that sometimes you just have to accept the inevitable. And what was inevitable here was that, while they liked each other, trust was absent.
And unfortunately, in situations such as this Priority Code Three mission, success often came down to trust, to following a hunch, to noticing some minute detail at subliminal level and having the courage to act on it.
Discriminating against your partner’s judgment could mean the difference between success and failure, life and death.
But the difference wasn’t simply a matter of choosing to go along; Maggie had to believe in what she was doing and in her partner. In those critical seconds where a snap judgment had to be made, Maggie wouldn’t trust Justin’s judgment and he wouldn’t trust hers.
And that frightening truth significantly decreased their already thin odds for success.
“A
h, Maggie.” Will Stanton smiled, then nodded at Justin.
In the security office, they walked over to the marble counter separating the reception area from the desks, and Maggie set her purse down to give her shoulder a break. Everyone on his staff was busy either at the computer or on the phone. Some were on both. “We’ve got that list for you, Will.”
“Great. I’m already getting in a couple confirmations from the owners off the first one we distributed. So far, mostly from the B-stores.”
The smaller stores would be able to comply with the requests more quickly. The A-stores, like Macy’s and Krane’s, needed more time. “Excellent.” Maggie motioned for Justin to pass the list over.
Daniel Barone silently entered the security office behind them. He snagged the list from Will before he had a chance to even glance at it. “Let me see that.”
Barone reviewed the items, slowly and methodically, and then looked over at Maggie. “Our staff will easily be able to handle the majority of your requests, Captain. But am I reading this correctly? You want all employees to wear yellow tomorrow?”
“Actually, from the time the stores close to shoppers tonight until they close tomorrow night.”
Barone’s resistance was palpable. Too bad.
She dredged up a smile, already weary of fighting him on specifics, particularly regarding having medical staff on the premises.
She needed to work around him on that, and put it on her mental to-do list. One way or another, she had to have medical personnel inside the mall. Using undercover shoppers would be easiest, of course, but she’d have no way of placing them specifically and roamers would be inefficient as well as obvious. For a second she debated the value of reminding Barone that she and Justin were here to save his ass, but she might just need that leverage more later. Better save it.
His forehead wrinkled and he crooked his mouth. “Wouldn’t red or green be more appropriate to the holiday?”
“To the holiday, yes, Mr. Barone. But because that’s true, many nonemployees will also be wearing those colors. That renders them ineffective for our purposes.”
“Valid point.” He paused, thoughtfully considered the other items on the list. “Will, we can have attendants in all the rest rooms and in the store’s dressing rooms, can’t we?”
“It’s doable, sir,” he said. “Provided the stores cooperate, of course, and they’ve no logical reason to refuse.”
“Fine.” Barone read on, then came to an abrupt halt. “What’s this? Prepositioning antidote?” He stared at Maggie, clearly verged on refusing.
“That’s not a request.” Justin jumped in. “It’s a mandate, Mr. Barone.”
“A mandate?” His expression turned dark.
“If anything should happen here, you don’t want to have to explain on the ten o’clock news why you refused to position the antidote vials inside the facility.” Justin sent Barone a sincere look. “That could open a devastating Pandora’s box on legal issues and become a PR nightmare.”
Justin had Barone’s attention; he wasn’t refusing or shouting down the roof. Maggie was grateful for both.
“It’s just not worth the risk,” Justin went on. “Not prepositioning the antidote could be perceived by the public as deliberate deception that resulted in reckless endangerment. God forbid anyone should die.” Justin tilted his head. “I’m not sure exactly what your legal standing would be then, but considering anyone can sue for anything…” Justin lifted a hand. “We consider protecting you as much as possible from costly ramifications to be in everyone’s best interests.”
If Santa Bella was attacked, just opening the mall for business could be considered deliberate deception and reckless endangerment, but Maggie didn’t say so. Barone already knew it. Will had mentioned that legal counsel had been at that seven o’clock meeting between Barone and the twenty-six A-stores. Of course, he’d been blunt on liability. That’s why he was there.
Barone pondered a moment, then said, “Prepositioning the antidote is fine, but no medical staff. The shoppers would be unnerved and leave, and that would bankrupt at least a hundred stores.”
Very nice job, Justin. Well, half a job.
Maggie cleared her throat, then pushed for the second half. “If we have to administer the antidote, we have two minutes to do it. That’s a reminder, Mr. Barone. We have
only
two minutes before we start seeing shoppers become corpses,” she reiterated. “I’ve developed a plan to insert some medical professionals undercover as clerks. People who are trained to react to these types of situations. For all intents and purposes, they’ll appear to be normal sales staff. But if we need them, they’ll be in position, ready to help.” Taking a tip from Justin and his success, she added, “For your protection, this, too, is not negotiable, Mr. Barone.”
He sent her a haughty look. “Everything is negotiable, Captain Holt.”
So he’d defer to Justin but not to her? When she was the one with extensive experience and expertise? Why? Was his reasoning a sexist male thing or just plain stupidity? Regardless, it was time she stopped tiptoeing and spelled out the rules. “No, Mr. Barone, everything is not negotiable.”
He dropped the smile. “Without orders from Homeland Security, your recommendations are no more than suggestions, Captain Holt.”
Maggie gazed up at him, looking down his nose at her. She’d expected him to be reluctant, but she couldn’t have expected he’d be foolish. “Actually, Mr. Barone, I have all the authorization I need to close the mall, to insert medical personnel, or to do whatever I feel I need to do. The
only criteria required to reclassify any decision I choose from a recommendation to a mandate is for me to deem it essential to national security. That is my domain, and my judgment in matters of it here are final. So you see, Mr. Barone, everything is not negotiable. Only what I deem negotiable is negotiable.”
Stuff that, jerk.
“That wasn’t my understanding, Captain Holt.” His jaw tightened and a muscle in his left cheek twitched.
“Your understanding was inaccurate,” she said simply. “I prefer to work together to form mutual decisions rather than to dictate them. But if necessary, I will dictate them. Your goal is to protect your interests. My goal is to assure that wise choices are made for everyone involved. That’s my job, and I’m paid to do it well. Lives depend on my decisions, Mr. Barone. Maybe even yours.” She paused, let what she’d said sink in. When he didn’t respond, she added, “Is having my undercover medical staff work as clerks acceptable to you or not?”
He shifted uneasily, folded his arms over his chest. “Provided the twenty-six agree, yes. But I insist shoppers remain oblivious to them.” He looked across the counter at Will. “Have the A-stores surveyed on this right away.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Excellent.” She turned to Will Stanton. “The new list contains things that need to be addressed before midnight when the Winter Wonderland crew arrives.” The more done that fewer knew about, the better. “We’ll take care of prepositioning the antidote and installing our additional surveillance equipment.”
“What additional surveillance equipment?” Barone asked, clearly annoyed again.
“Mainly entrance cameras,” Maggie said, pivoting her gaze from Will back to Barone. “I want a complete recording of everyone entering and exiting the mall tomorrow during all hours of operation. Your equipment can’t handle the load, so I’m bringing in mine to supplement it.”
Barone didn’t like it. In fact, gauging by his bitter expression, he deeply resented it. Not, she was sure, that he minded the extra protection. It was far more likely that he resented anything associated with him being considered lacking. Maggie stiffened, preparing for round two, but for some reason, Barone held his tongue. That worried her.
Will leaned against the slick marble counter. His security badge reflected in its shiny surface. “The timing will be close, Maggie, but I think we can get it all done before Phil and Harry Jensen bring the Winter Wonderland crew in.”
“If there’s any doubt, we need to have the covert surveillance work done first. Then, if we run short on time, it’s just the general work that will be observed.” Maggie jotted a note down on her personal list. “I’ll bring in a crew to install the monitors.”
Barone’s expression turned grimmer. Changing the topic, he passed the list to Will. “Go ahead with all of this,” Barone said, as if the previous ten minutes of conversation never had taken place.
Even Will Stanton, who had enormous talent for hiding his reactions, failed to sequester his surprise. “Yes, sir.”
Barone turned to look at Maggie. “I’m doing everything possible to act responsibly and reasonably, Captain Holt, but I do insist that shoppers remain unaware of anything unusual going on, and that no activity or action take place without my prior knowledge and consent.”
Maggie bristled but said not a word.
Forced by her silence to further explain, Barone added, “Of course, if Santa Bella should be attacked, the situation will carry enormous legal implications. It’s my job to protect the interests of owners and visitors, and I’m paid well to do it.” He tossed her words back at her.
If protecting shoppers and owners was uppermost in his mind, Barone would shut down the damn mall. But Maggie had said all she could say on that matter. The owners had voted. Yet she refused to make anyone a promise she couldn’t keep, so she remained quiet, letting her silence encourage Barone to continue.
A little boy about seven chased a ball into the security office and bumped into Barone’s leg. Barone pulled back, caught himself, and gave the boy’s shoulder a stilted pat. “Watch where you’re going, son,” he ordered. “And play with that ball outside.”
The boy recoiled from Barone’s touch, ducked out of his reach and scooped up his ball, then ran out of the office.
His expression struck Maggie as strange. It had been odd; not afraid, but more like the boy had been forced to swallow a pound of spinach.
Barone turned back to Maggie. “Remember, Captain. Prior notice on all actions or activities.”
“I’ll attempt to honor your request,” Maggie said. But her first responsibility was to the public and she would first protect it. If Santa Bella was attacked, waiting for Barone to preapprove her actions could range from unwise to impossible.
“Captain, I’m not asking for this, I’m demanding it.” Barone lifted an eyebrow. “This facility is ultimately my
responsibility, and I won’t accept that responsibility if you act without my knowledge. Either you consult with me prior to taking any action, or you take full responsibility for this facility. One or the other.”
And with that smiling remark, Barone had set her up as his scapegoat. Unfortunately for her, there was nothing she could do about it. The bottom line was if the need arose, she’d act. “I understand your position.”
He gave her a curt nod and then told Will, “I’ll be in my office.” Barone left without another word.
Maggie watched him go, then glanced at Will, catching him in an unguarded moment. His annoyance and dislike for Barone was written in every line on his face. “Is the copy of the plans back from the architect’s office yet?”
Will reached under the counter, then passed her the tube. “Here you go.” He reached again, then withdrew three large, brown manila envelopes and passed them over. “Photos of all mall employees,” he said, nodding at the envelopes. “It was, um, on your list.”
“Thanks, Will.” Maggie gave him a smile, knowing damn well there had been no request for any of this on her list. But she did have a good idea where the requests had originated. “The mall closes to shoppers at ten tonight, right?”
“Everything except DMV Drugs. It’s open until midnight.”
“Terrific.” Maggie nodded. “Dr. Crowe and I are going to gather equipment and coordinate some things. We’ll be back in plenty of time to monitor the camera installations. Whatever comes up, just follow your instincts. If you need me before I get back, here’s my cell number.” She passed him a business card.
“How long will the installations take?”
Maggie thought a second. All entrances, key locations she and Justin had pinpointed as blind spots, the administration wing, which oddly had no equipment in it whatsoever…The snow crew came in at midnight…“Three hours,” she estimated.
“Sounds realistic.”
She had to get assistance from Providence Air Force Base to make the schedule happen. That meant requesting help from Colonel Gray, which would no doubt ignite another battle in the Gray/Drake pissing contest. Colonel Drake wouldn’t appreciate needing Gray’s assistance, and Maggie certainly wasn’t looking forward to asking for it, but some things just couldn’t be avoided.
“Before we go, Maggie,” Justin said. “What do you think of Security setting up a command post on each level? We could disguise it as a customer service perk for the shoppers. Maybe offer free blood pressure checks, or something?”
Standing across from her, Will smiled. “Excellent idea, Doc. Shoppers will know these people are legitimate medical personnel.”
Justin smiled. “I have my moments.”
This was a good moment. A very good moment. “Will, what are our odds that Barone will authorize it?” Maggie asked.
“Give me a few minutes to see what I can do.” He snagged a phone and in short order came back to the counter. “Done.”
Surprised, Maggie asked, “Barone went for it?”
“Turns out, he authorized it two months ago.” Will hiked
both eyebrows, looking pretty pleased with himself. “According to Linda Diel, his personal assistant, the Red Cross scheduled this event back in October.”
“So Linda is helping us get medical staff into position?”
“Of course not, Doc.” Will frowned. “Linda’s just doing her job, tracking normal commitments.”
Recognizing the twinkle in Will’s eye, Maggie put a restraining hand on Justin’s forearm to stop any more questions. If caught inserting this onto the mall calendar of events, Linda would be fired. “Finally, a lucky break. Thanks, Will.”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
Maggie led Justin out of the security office, then out of the building and into the crammed parking lot to her red Jeep. She held off making any remarks until they were seated in the car with the doors closed.