“No!” Buck now said the word with the same fervor she had displayed. “I regret that you can’t see, but you have much more than any woman I have ever known. You are perfect,
mi querida.
You are sweet, wonderful, wise beyond your years. It’s me who’s the problem. What I am. I’m not worthy of your touch, much less your kiss. I’ve seen everything, done everything. I’ve no family that claim me. I’ve been in Yuma prison—would be there still if a gut-shot man hadn’t confessed to the crime I was convicted of. I’m what I am, Laura. A man who lives on the edge of decency, accepted only for the service I give.”
“Oh, Buck! Like myself, you can’t go back and
change what’s been done to you. It’s what lies ahead of us that’s important. Let me be with you for this little while. Let me have my memories to store away,” she whispered desperately.
He was silent for the duration of a few heartbeats. Then, with a small sound that came from his throat, he drew her to him and held her tightly against him while he buried his face in her hair.
“You’ve upset my life. You’ve made me feel things I never thought I would feel. But I must tell you how deeply I love you, how I want to protect and cherish you.
Sí, mi querida,
hold me tighter. Pull me into your heart,
mi amor.
You are
mi alma, mi vida.
”
Laura had a sudden soaring sensation inside her, as if joy had come like a dove flying in through an open window, startling and yet so lovely it was breathtaking. One of the things she could remember seeing was birds, and now they danced into her mind like music. She felt so much happiness she was giddy, light-headed, unable to think clearly.
“What did you call me? Oh, Buck! I must know what you called me.”
“My love, my soul, my life,” he whispered as he pushed the strands of long, blond hair from her face and kissed her damp forehead.
“Oh, yes,” she said and brushed the warm hollow of his throat with her lips. “Buck, oh Buck,” she whispered breathlessly. “I don’t have those beautiful words!” Her lips parted and searched for his. “I can only say that I love you so much!”
“They are the most beautiful words I have ever
heard,
mi amor.
” This wondrous feeling of being loved was worth everything else in the world. Every nerve in his body cried out for her, yearned to be united with her. They clung together, covering each other’s faces with tender kisses that grew more intense by the second.
“Buck . . .” she said weakly.
“Don’t talk, my love, just let me hold you.” His voice vibrated with tender emotion. “Oh, my
querida
!”
She pressed her face against his shirt, not wanting him to see the spurt of tears that filled her eyes on hearing his tender words. She was aware of the heavy beat of his heart, and placed her hand over it. He laughed, a soft thrilling sound that came musically to her ears. She clasped her arms around his neck, and her lips found the pulse that beat at the base of his throat. A feeling of faintness seemed to sweep over her. She wanted to cling to him, to give him love, to shield and protect him. His arms tightened around her, and he cuddled her against him. They sat quietly as he stroked her hair.
Laura would have been content to sit there forever. They didn’t talk, and his hands caressing her no longer made her feel shy; it seemed a natural thing to do. She placed her palm against his face, and he pressed his lips into it before he released her and slid down off the rock. He reached for her, and she trustingly gave herself up to him. He stood her on her feet and, with an arm around her, led her back toward the encamped wagons.
“I have a present for you,” he said so softly she wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly.
“A present?” Her attempt to speak was weakened by the depth of her emotion.
“Yes, a present.” Buck laughed and placed her hand on the wheel of the freight wagon. “Wait here.” He climbed into the wagon and brought out the pup. Its stomach was swollen with the meal it had been fed, and it was drowsy with interrupted sleep. “Hold out your arms. Be careful and don’t drop it.”
“What is it? Tell me what it is.” Her whispered voice trembled with excitement.
“It’s a pup. It’ll make us a good sheep dog.”
“A puppy?” Laura held the cuddly pup up to her face and looked as if she would cry. Her lips quivered, and she took a deep shaking breath. “Did you say a sheep dog for
us
?”
“Of course,
querida.
A sheep dog for us. For you and me.”
“Oh, Buck, I wish . . . I wish. . . .”
“You wish you could see it,
mi amor
?” A huge knot began to form in his throat. He stared deeply at her stricken face and saw the sparkle of tears come to her eyes.
“Not the dog, Buck. You! I wish I could see you, just one time!” The cry was like the wail of a small wounded animal, and as he watched, tears slid down her face like summer rain.
Tucker watched Laura walk away with Buck. Again she was filled with conflicting emotions. Part of her was glad for the diversion Buck’s company brought to Laura’s life, while the larger part of her was fearful that this taste of male companionship would cause her to be forever dissatisfied with life as a spinster. The image of her face the day she’d mentioned entering the convent floated through Tucker’s mind. It was the sad, haunted look of lost dreams and pitiful resignation. Thrusting aside this memory, Tucker got to her feet. She’d have to talk with Lucas about this problem that troubled her.
She called out greetings as she walked past the wagons. She was by now on friendly terms with all the women, with the exception of Cora Lee. But even though the women accepted her and Laura, there was still something of a barrier there because she’d been hired as a teacher. It separated her from those going to California seeking husbands and, in their minds, elevated her to a certain superior status. This, too, posed a problem for Tucker, who now wished there
was some woman friend with whom she could share her worries about Laura. Though she was not a joiner, nor accustomed to exchanging confidences with anyone other than Laura, she’d been eager for the camaraderie that she’d expected would develop in this isolated society of women with a common goal.
Lottie called out to her and she paused. “Lookin’ fer Laura? She’s all right. She walked off with Buck.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Then why’ve ya got that sour look on yore face? Ain’t nothin’ wrong with Laura a walkin’ off with Buck. She ain’t one of ’em goin’ to a man in Californey. So there ain’t no reason fer ya to git all het up ’bout Buck courtin’ Laura.”
There were times when Lottie’s frankness was downright frustrating. “Buck isn’t courting Laura. They’re friends, and nothing more.”
“Humph! Ain’t no sech thing as friends ’tween a man ’n a woman. All he’s a thinkin’ ’bout is gittin’ ’er in the bed, ’n all she’s a thinkin’ ’bout is gittin’ hitched afore she gits under the blanket.”
“That’s your opinion, Lottie.” Tucker turned to the brown-haired woman holding a small girl. “Is Betsy asleep already, Mrs. Shaffer?”
“She’s tired out. She’s lookin’ forward to the bath in the river tomorrow.”
“We all are,” Tucker said and moved on.
She stopped to speak to Marie Hook and her son, Billy. The woman had loosened up somewhat and now seemed to welcome the few words that passed occasionally between them.
“Are you and Billy having a nice evening?”
“Fine, thank you. Billy has beaten me in two games of chess already.” She smiled warmly at her son. “But there’s another day coming.”
The boy lowered his head and smiled shyly.
“The game is far too complicated for me, Billy. But some evening I’ll play you a game of checkers,” Tucker offered. Billy bent his head even lower in the face of this direct attention.
Marie gave Tucker one of her rare smiles. “I haven’t won a game of checkers against Billy in over a year.”
“Imagine that! He must be good.”
“He is. He has great powers of concentration.”
“Oh, Mama!” Embarrassment brought Billy to his feet, and he disappeared behind the wagon.
“He needs more contact with people. I’m hoping he’ll get that when we get to California.” Marie shifted dark, luminous eyes to Tucker. “He also needs male companionship,” she said sadly.
“Yes, a boy needs a man to teach him certain things.” Tucker’s eyes wandered over the camp. “Is Cora Lee visiting with the new people?”
Marie lifted her shoulders in a noncommittal shrug. “Cora Lee is off and away every night. We don’t pay any attention to her comings and goings.”
“Yes, well, I must be going. Laura will be coming soon and I. . . .”
“It must please you to see how well Laura manages, Miss Houston. You’ve done an admirable job of teaching her to be self-reliant.”
“It was a matter of two orphans trying to survive, that’s all.”
Tucker couldn’t help but think there was something mysterious about this woman, but she had little time to reflect on it because at that moment Mustang suddenly rounded the wagon with a load of firewood in his arms. He stooped down and dropped the boughs, tossing a piece into the guttering flames.
“Howdy. Had a little extra firewood,” he explained. “You ladies a likin’ bein’ in the fort? It’s just ’bout like bein’ in a town, ain’t it?”
“Well, not quite,” Tucker laughed. “’Night, Mrs. Hook. ’Night, Mustang.”
“If ya be a lookin’ fer Laura, she walked off with Buck,” Mustang called after her.
Tucker gritted her teeth. Did everyone in the whole camp know that Laura walked out with Buck? She headed for the freight wagons and the faint glow of a lamp coming from one of them. The moon had not yet risen, and the buildings that made up the fort were but vague outlines in the darkness of the night. As she approached the wagon, the light went out and a man stepped down.
“Lucas?”
“No,
señorita.
It is I, Chata.”
“Do you know where I can find Mr. Steele?”
“
Sí.
He is with the
soldado.
There.” He lifted his arm toward the dimly lit officer’s building.
Tucker turned to retrace her steps. She was disappointed. She needed to be with Lucas, to feel the
loved, protected feeling a few minutes in his arms could give her.
The restless stamping of the mules captured her attention, and she went to lean against the pole corral and look at the stars. She stifled a sigh and told herself that Lucas would come to her when he could. He had heavy responsibilities, and he would never let his personal preferences override his duty. The warm night, the stars above her, and the companionable sounds coming from the livestock all contributed to lull her into unawareness of anything except her own reveries.
The man approached silently, and when she noticed him she called out the name of the man in her thoughts.
“Lucas?”
The shadow that was the man moved forward and she realized it was too short to be Lucas’s, and that it walked with a bouncing gait that wasn’t Lucas’s walk. Tucker wasn’t alarmed until he walked right up to her. Against the star-studded sky his figure was a dark, menacing silhouette, but there was enough light to let her see the glitter in his eyes. She recognized the scout from the other train, Frank Parcher. He was hatless. A gun was thrust into the top of his trousers.
“I thought you’d never leave them wagons. You picked a right good spot for us to have our talk.” There was a smile on the man’s face as he moved it to within inches of hers.
Tucker backed away. “I’ve got nothing to say to you!”
“Mebbe. But I got a thing or two to say to you,” he answered with a chuckle.
“Nothing you could say would interest me,” she snapped in a cool, lofty tone, and spun on her heel to leave him. His hand lashed out and clamped to her arm.
“Yer goin’ to hear it anyhow. Minute I clapped eyes on you I knowed we’d have things to say . . . ’n do . . . to each other.”
Anger boiled in Tucker. “Get your hands off me, you . . . mangy polecat!” She jerked on her arm and his fingers tightened.
“Out here on the plains, purty gal, we don’t foller rules like they do in town. If’n we want to talk to a gal, we grab ’er ’n talk.”
“Let go of my arm or—I’ll scream my head off!”
“Yer the purtiest thing I ever did see. Got spunk, too. Ya’ll get to likin’ my touch. You ’n me’ll be spendin’ lots of nights all by our lonesome.” His voice was as unconcerned as if he were discussing cattle prices.
“You’re sadly mistaken, mister, if you think I’d ever spend any time with you!”
“I ain’t mistook, Tucker. Tucker.” He repeated her name as though trying to taste it. “You’ll come with me when the time’s right. I ain’t a doubtin’ it. Now, I got no time to be a romancin’ ya or makin’ love talk. You’ll mount up and ride with me when I say so. Ain’t no sense in wastin’ a woman like you on these clabberheads.”
“You’re insane! I’d die before I’d go anywhere
with you. And Lucas Steele would kill you quicker than he would a buzzard if you so much as looked cross-eyed at me or any of the other woman on this train,” she flared, seething with anger.