I was testing my environment in a tentative fashion by then.
"Ooow! Ooww!" and "Owww!" I said-for how long I am uncertain-when the environment finally responded by sticking a thermometer in my mouth and taking my pulse.
"You awake. Mister Cassidy?" a feminine-to-neuter voice inquired.
"Glab," I replied, bringing the nurse's face into focus and letting it go back out of focus again after I had gotten a good look.
"You are a very lucky man. Mister Cassidy," she said, withdrawing the thermometer. "I am going to get hold of the doctor now. He is quite anxious to talk with you. Lie still. Don't exert yourself."
In that I felt no particular urge to roll over and do pushups, it was not difficult to comply with this last. I did do the focus-trick again, though, and this time everything stayed put. Everything consisted of what appeared to be a private hospital room, with me on the bed by the wall by the window. I lay flat on my back and quickly discovered the extent to which my chest was swathed with gauze and tape. I winced at the thought of the dressings' eventual removal. The unmaimed do not have a monopoly on anticipation.
Moments later, it seemed, a husky young man in the usual white, stethoscope spilling out of his pocket, pushed a smile into the room and brought it near. He transferred a clipboard from one hand to the other and reached toward my own. I thought he was going to take my pulse, but instead he clasped my hand and shook it.
"Mister Cassidy, I'm Doctor Drade," he said. "We met earlier, but you don't remember it. I operated on you. Glad to see that your handshake is that strong. You are a very lucky man."
I coughed and it hurt.
"That's good to know," I said.
He raised the clipboard.
"Since your hand is in such good shape," he said, "may I have your signature on some release forms I have here?"
"Just a minute," I said. "I don't even know what's been done to me. I am not about to okay it at this point."
"Oh, it is not that sort of release," he said. "They'll get that when you are checking out. This just gives me permission to use your medical record and some photos I was fortunate enough to obtain during surgery as part of an article I want to write."
"What sort of article?" I asked.
"One involving the reason I said you are a very lucky man. You were shot in the chest, you know."
"I had sort of figured that out myself."
"Anyone else would probably be dead as a result. But not good old Fred Cassidy. Do you know why not?"
"Tell me."
"Your heart is in the wrong place."
"Oh."
"Have you actually gotten this far along in life without becoming aware of the peculiar anatomy of your circulatory system?"
"Not exactly," I said. "But then, I've never been shot m the chest before either."
"Well, your heart is a mirror image of an average, garden-variety heart. The vena cavae feed from the left and the pulmonary artery receives the blood from your left ventricle. Your pulmonary veins take the fresh blood to the right auricle, and the right ventricle pumps it through an aortic arch that swings over to the right. The right chambers of your heart consequently have the thickwalled development other people have on the left side. Now, anyone else shot in the same place you were would probably have been hit in the left ventricle, or possibly the aorta. In your case, though, the bullet went harmlessly past the inferior vena cava."
I coughed again.
"Well, relatively harmlessly," he amended. "There is still a hole, of course. I've patched it neatly, though. You should be back on your feet in no time."
"Great."
"Now, about the releases .. ."
"Yeah. Okay. Anything for science and progress and all that."
While I was signing the papers and wondering about the angle of the bullet, I asked him, "What were the circumstances involved in my being brought here?"
"You were brought to the emergency room by the police," he said. "They did not inform us as to the nature of the, uh, situation that led to the shootings."
"Shootings? How many of us were there?"
"Well, seven altogether. I am not really supposed to discuss other cases, you know."
I paused in mid-signature.
"Hal Sidmore is my best friend," I said, raising the pen and glancing significantly at the forms, "and his wife's name is Mary."
"They were not seriously injured," he said quickly. "Mister Sidmore has a broken arm and his wife has a few scratches. That is the extent of it. In fact, he has been waiting to see you."
"I want to see him," I said. "I feel up to it."
"I'll send him in shortly."
"Very good."
I finished signing and returned his pen and papers.
"Could I be raised a bit?" I asked.
"I don't see why not."
He adjusted the bed.
"And if I could trouble you for a glass of water. . ."
He poured me one, waited while I drank most of it.
"Okay," he said, "I'll be in to see you later. Would you mind if I brought some interns along to listen to your heart?"
"Not if you promise to send me a copy of your article."
"All right," he said, "I will. Don't do anything strenuous."
"I'll keep that in mind."
He folded his smile and went away and I lay there grimacing at the gnikomS oN sign.
It wasn't too much later, I guess, that Hal wandered in. Another layer of dopiness and confusion had peeled away by then. He was dressed in his street clothes, and his right arm-wait a minute, pardon me-left arm was in a sling. He also had a small bruise on his forehead.
I grinned, to show him that life was beautiful, and since I already knew the answer was all right, I asked, "How's Mary?"
"Great," he said. "Real good. Shook up and scratched, but nothing serious. How about yourself?"
"Feels like a jackass kicked me in the chest," I said. "But the doctor tells me it could have been worse."
"Yes, he said you were very lucky. He's in love with your heart, by the way. If it were mine. I'd be a little uncomfortable-all helpless like that, with him writing the prescriptions..."
"Thanks. I'm sure glad you came by to cheer me up. Are you going to tell me what happened, or do I have to buy a paper?"
"I didn't realize you were in a hurry," he said. "I'll be brief, then. We were all shot."
"I see. Now be less brief."
"All right. You jumped at the man with the gun-"
"Jamie. Yes. Go on."
"He shot you. You fell. Put a check mark next to your name. Then he shot Paul."
"Check."
"But, while Jamie was turned toward you, Paul had gotten partly clear of the junk that had fallen on him. He fired at Jamie at about the same time Jamie fired at him. He hit Jamie."
"So they shot each other. Check."
"I went for the other guy just a little after you lunged at Jamie."
"Zeemeister. Yes."
"He had his gun by then and got off several shots. The first one missed me. Then we wrestled around. He's damn strong, by the way."
"I know that. Who do I check next?"
"I am not certain. Mary had her scalp grazed by a shot or a ricochet, and his second or third shot-I'm not sure which-got me in the arm."
"Two checks, either way. Who shot Zeemeister?"
"A cop. They came busting in about then."
"Why were they there? How did they know what wa» going on?"
"I overheard them talking afterwards. They had been following Paul-"
"-who had been following us, perhaps?"
"It seems so."
"But I thought he was dead. It made the news."
"That makes two of us. I still don't know the story. His room is guarded and no one is talking."
"He is still alive then?"
"Last I heard. But that was all I could learn about him. It seems we all made it."
"Too bad-twice anyway. Wait a minute. Doctor Drade said there were seven shootings."
"Yes. It was sort of embarrassing to them: One of the police shot himself in the foot."
"Oh. That's all the checks, then. What else?"
"What else what?"
"Did you learn anything from all this? Like, about the stone?"
"Nope. Nothing. You know everything I do."
"Unfortunate."
I began to yawn uncontrollably. About then the nurse looked in.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said. "We can't tire him."
"Yes, all right," he told her. "I'm going home now, Fred. I'll come back as soon as they say I can see you again. Can I bring you anything?"
"Is there any oxygen equipment in here?"
"No. It's out in the hall."
"Cigarettes, then. And tell them to take that damned sign down. Never mind. I will. Excuse me. I can't stop. Give Mary my sympathy and such. Hope she doesn't have a headache. Did I ever tell you about the flowers that lay wasps?"
"No."
"I'm afraid you will have to go now," the nurse said.
"All right."
"Tell that lady she's no orchid," I said, "even if she does make me feel waspish," and I slipped back down to the still soft center of things where life was simpler by far, and the bed got lowered there.
Drowse. Drowse, drowse.
Glimmer?
Glimmer. Also glitter and shine.
I heard the noises of arrival in my room and opened my eyelids just enough to show me it was still daytime.
Still?
I totted up my times. A day and a night and a piece of another day had passed. I had eaten several meals, talked with Doctor Drade and been auscultated by the interns. Hal had come back, happier, left me cigarettes which Drade had told me I could smoke against his wishes, which I did. Then I had slept some more. Oh yes, there I was . . .
Two figures passed into my slitted field of vision, moving slowly. The throat-clearing sounds which then occurred were Drade's.
Finally: "Mister Cassidy, are you awake?" he seemed to wonder aloud.
I yawned and stretched and pretended to come around while I assessed the situation. Beside Drade stood a tall, somber-looking individual. The dark suit and smoked glasses did that for him. I suppressed a wisecrack about morticians when I saw that the man's right hand was wrapped about a guide harness attached to a scruffy looking dog that tried to sit at attention beside him. In his left hand the man held the handle of a heavy-looking case.
"Yes," I said, reaching for the controls and raising myself to sit facing them. "What's up?"
"How do you feel?"
"All right, I guess. Yes. Rested."
"Good. The police have sent this gentleman along to talk with you about whatever it is they are interested in. He has requested privacy, so we will hang a sign on the door. His name is Nadler, Theodore Nadler. I'll leave you alone now."
He guided Nadler to a visitor's chair, saw him seated and left, closing the door behind him.
I took a drink of water. I looked at Nadler.
"What do you want?" I said.
"You know what we want."
"Try running an ad," I suggested.
He removed his glasses and smiled at me.
"Try reading a few. Like 'Help Wanted.' "
"You ought to be in the diplomatic corps," I said, and his smile went tight and his face reddened.
I smiled then as he sighed.
"We know that you do not have it, Cassidy," he finally said, "and I am not asking you for it."
"Then why push me around the way you have? Just because I'm pushable? You've really shot me down, you know, forcing that degree on me. If I did have anything that you wanted there would be a big price tag on it now."
"How big?" he said, just a little too quickly.
"For what?"
"Your services."
"In what capacity?"
"We were thinking of offering you a job you might find interesting. How would you like to become an alien culture specialist for the U.S. legation to the United Nations? The job description calls for a Ph. D. in anthropology."
"When was the job description written?" I asked.
He smiled again.
"Fairly recently."
"I see. And what would be the duties be?"
"They would commence with a special assignment, of an investigatory nature."
"Investigating what?"
"The disappearance of the star-stone."
"Uh-huh. Well, I have to admit that the matter appeals to my curiosity," I said, "but not so much that I would be willing to work for you."
"You would not actually be working for me."
I got hold of my cigarettes and lit one before I asked, "For whom, then?"
"Give me one of those," said a familiar voice, and the scruffy-looking dog rose and crossed over to my bedside.
"The Lon Chaney of the interstellar set," I observed. "You make a lousy dog, Ragma."
He unsnapped several sections of his disguise and accepted a light. I could not make out what he looked like inside.
"So you went and got yourself shot again," he said. "It is not as if you had not been warned."
"That is correct," I said. "I did it with my eyes open."
"And reversed," he said, pushing aside my blanket and staring downward. "The scars are on the wrong leg for the wounds you sustained in Australia."
He let the blanket fall and went to hunker beside my table.
"Not that I needed to look," he added. "I overheard things about your wonderful reversed heart on the way in. And I sort of felt all along that you had to be the idiot who was fooling around with the inversion unit. Mind telling me why?"
"Yes," I said, "I would mind."
He shrugged.
"All right. It is still a bit early for malnutrition. I'll wait."
I looked back at Nadler.
"You still haven't answered my question," I said. "For whom would I be working?"
This time he grinned.
"Him," he said.
"Are you kidding? When did the State Department start hiring wombat impersonators and guide dogs? Nonresident alien ones, at that?"
"Ragma is not a State Department employee. He is lending his services to the United Nations. On coming to work for us you would immediately go on loan to the special UN task force he heads."
"Sort of like a library book," I said, looking back toward Ragma. "Do you want to tell me about it?"