Doggone It! (3 page)

How weird is that?
Katie wondered to herself.

“I love gardening!” Mrs. Derkman told Katie. “I spend every hour I can out here with my little babies.” Mrs. Derkman ran her hand lovingly over one of her pansies.

“It seems like a lot of work,” Katie said.

Mrs. Derkman nodded. “It is. But I don’t mind. My plants are worth it. I water them and fertilize them. They especially love when I sing to them.”

For a minute, Katie thought her teacher was going to burst into song once again. Luckily, at just that second, Mr. Derkman came out onto the porch. He was wearing a red flannel bathrobe. His long, hairy legs stuck out from under the robe.

“Hi, Katie,” Mr. Derkman said, waving. He looked down at Pepper. “Cute dog. He’s a cocker spaniel right?”

Katie nodded.

“I had a beagle when I was growing up,” Mr. Derkman recalled. “Barbara, isn’t it wonderful to have a cute dog living right next door?”

Mrs. Derkman rolled her eyes. “Wonderful,” she said sarcastically.

Mr. Derkman held out a big mug. “Snookums, your coffee is ready,” he told his wife.

Mrs. Derkman stood and wiped some dirt from her overalls. “Okay, Freddy Bear,” she said. “I’ll be right in.”

Snookums? Freddy Bear?
Katie couldn’t wait to tell the kids at school about this!

On second thought, they’d probably never believe her.

The moment Katie walked onto the playground on Monday morning, she was surrounded by the other kids from class 3A.

“Suzanne told us Mrs. Derkman moved in next door to you,” Zoe Canter said. “Is it true?”

Katie nodded.

“I told you so,” Suzanne told the kids. “I was right there with her when Mrs. Derkman drove up.”

“Hey, I was there, too,” Jeremy announced. “I was there
first.”

“Jeremy you’re such a good friend,” Becky Stern said. She smiled brightly at him.

Jeremy blushed.

“Oh, Katie!” Miriam Chan exclaimed. “I’m so sorry.

“What’s it like living next door to a teacher?” Becky asked.

“It’s awful,” Suzanne butted in. “Isn’t it, Katie?”

“It’s definitely horrible,” Katie agreed. “I mean, last night, Mrs. Derkman and her husband came over for a barbecue. How embarrassing is that?”

“Mrs. Derkman came to your house?” Kevin Camilleri asked with surprise.

Katie nodded. “Mr. Derkman brought his ukulele. He played songs, and Mrs. Derkman danced.”

Jeremy’s eyes opened wide. “Mrs. Derkman
danced?”

Katie nodded. “You should have seen her. She was doing a Hawaiian hula.”

The kids all tried to picture their teacher wiggling her hips in Katie’s backyard. But they couldn’t. It was too weird to even imagine.

“You had to be there,” Katie told them. “It was gross. But not as gross as the strawberry pie she baked. That was all burnt.”

“I can’t eat strawberries,” Mandy Banks said. “I’m allergic to them.”

“I’m allergic to
Mrs. Derkman.
I feel so bad for you, Katie Kazoo,” George Brennan said, using the special nickname he’d made up for Katie.

George and Mrs. Derkman did not get along well at all. George told a lot of jokes. Mrs. Derkman didn’t like any kidding around in her classroom. “I knew you would understand how I feel,” Katie said. “You’d definitely hate living next door to Mrs. Derkman.”

“I hate living on the same
planet
as Mrs. Derkman,” George agreed.

Katie looked at Kevin. “It wouldn’t be so bad for you, though, Kevin,” Katie told him. “She’s got tomato plants in her garden.”

Kevin couldn’t believe it. His teacher was growing his favorite food in her garden. “Do you think she’ll bring tomatoes to school?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t eat them, Kev,” George said. “What if she’s like that witch in
Snow White?
One bite of a Derkman tomato and you’ll sleep until a girl kisses you.” George pretended to faint.

“You guys should see this garden,” Katie continued. “It’s huge. And in the middle, she has this ugly troll statue—that she
talks
to! It’s the creepiest thing I ever saw.”

“Mrs. Derkman is the creepiest thing
I
ever saw,” George joked.

“Do you think Mrs. Derkman will treat you special now that she’s your neighbor?” Zoe asked Katie. “Maybe she’ll give you less homework or let you go to the bathroom whenever you want.”

“I don’t know,” Katie said. “Do you think she’d do that?”

“It would be the
least
she could do,” Suzanne assured her.

Hmmm.
Katie smiled. Maybe there was a bright side to this whole mess after all.

“What good is it having a teacher live next door if she’s still mean?” Katie exclaimed that night, as she and her parents sat together in the living room. “I think she was stricter with me today than she was with anyone else.”

Mrs. Carew put her arm around her daughter. “I know it’s kind of strange having her as your neighbor. But I’m sure she isn’t treating you any worse because of it.”

“Yes, she is,” Katie insisted. “Today she called on me when she was sure I didn’t know the answer. And she wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom until Suzanne came back.”

“But Mrs. Derkman always does things like that,” Mrs. Carew said. “She hasn’t changed at all.”

Katie frowned.

Mr. Carew reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, white envelope. “Speaking of Mrs. Derkman, I found this in the mailbox today. It’s from her.”

Katie gulped. A note from her teacher! This could be really bad.

“What does it say?” Katie’s mom asked.

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Carew,” Katie’s dad read out loud. “I am writing to tell you that your dog ate all the strawberries from my plants. From now on, please keep your dog on a leash. If you insist on letting him run wild, I will have to call the authorities. Sincerely, Barbara Derkman.”

Now Katie was really mad. “Pepper would never eat her strawberries,” she insisted.

“I know,” Katie’s dad agreed. “But some dog must have.”

“Then put
that
dog on a leash,” Katie said.

Mrs. Carew put her arm around Katie. “We’ll put Pepper on a leash for a few days. Then, when Mrs. Derkman finds out who’s really eating her strawberries, things can go back to normal.”

“But Pepper’s lived here for years. He’s hardly ever been on a leash, and he’s never caused any trouble.” Katie thought for a minute. “In fact, there weren’t any problems in this neighborhood before Mrs. Derkman moved here. Maybe
she’s
the one who needs to be walked on a leash!”

“Katie, I’m sorry, but Pepper’s going to have to be on a leash for a while. Just until we can clear his good name,” Mrs. Carew said.

“It won’t be so bad,” Katie’s dad added. “We’ll get Pepper one of those leashes with plastic jewels on it. He’ll feel like a movie star.”

Katie looked lovingly at Pepper. He was a good dog. All the kids liked him. That was more than she could say about Mrs. Derkman.

It just wasn’t fair.

The next day, Suzanne, Jeremy, Becky, and George walked Katie home from school. They were trying to cheer her up. But nothing they said or did could make Katie feel better.

She would never feel better again. At least, not as long as Mrs. Derkman was around.

Luckily, when the kids reached Katie’s house, Mrs. Derkman
wasn’t
around. Her car wasn’t in the driveway, and the lights were all off inside the house.

“Hey, she’s not here!” Katie exclaimed. “You guys want to stay for a while? Maybe play tag or something?”

“Well, as long as Mrs.
Jerk
man’s not around . . . ” George began.

That was all Jeremy needed to hear. “Tag! You’re it!” he shouted, as he tapped George on the shoulder.

George didn’t try racing back after Jeremy. It would be easier to tag Katie.

“Watch out, Katie Kazoo!” George shouted across the lawn. “Here I come!”

Katie took off like a rocket, trying to dodge George’s outstretched arm. She smiled as she soared across her front lawn. Tag was Katie’s favorite game.

But as she looked up toward her house, Katie’s smile turned to a frown. She could see Pepper sitting in the front hall. His little brown-and-white face was pressed up against the screen door.