Doctor Of My Dreams (BWWM Romance) (6 page)

Chapter  9 - Nadine

I wore a white dress with red roses on it that came halfway down my thigh. I slipped on cork wedges and I let my hair loose. I’d bought this outfit for the opening of my salon next weekend, but it was about as classy as I had for a day function.

I put on a light red glossy lip with it. Dianne had picked Trevor up from our house ten minutes ago. Thank goodness she had nothing to do with her time.

Five minutes later, I heard Richard pull up, and I grabbed a weaved handbag that was the same color as the wedges. I stuffed my phone, wallet, lip gloss and deodorant into it, and left the house.

Richard got out of the car and kissed me before he walked around to the passenger side and opened the door for me. He wore khaki-colored pants and a sky blue shirt that made his eyes stand out. He wore a golden watch on his wrist that I hadn’t seen before. He looked like he’d stepped out from the cover of a magazine.

“Is this alright?” I asked, looking down at my dress. I felt frumpy and underdressed.

“Perfect, you look great,” Richard said. I still doubted it.

We drove to a neighborhood where streets were lined with nine foot walls and electric fencing, gates that only showed glimpses of the mansions behind them. Security guards were in boots every couple of yards, and they waved at Richard like they knew him.

“How can you stand living in a fishbowl like this?” I asked him. Richard had never taken me to his place. I’d thought it was because he was shy. Now I realized it was because he hadn’t wanted me to feel out of place.

Because right now, I did.

“You get used to being under scrutiny,” he said. We stopped at a large cast iron gate with intricate designs, and he rang the intercom, looking into the camera. The gates groaned and then swung open slowly, letting us through.

Richard parked in a line of other expensive cars. I spotted a Lamborghini two cars down and there were two Ferraris. Something told me this wasn’t just a regular garden function.

Richard took my hand and nodded at me. I was supposed to be reassuring, but when we walked through the giant double doors that led into the house, I felt like I wanted to run away and hide.

A small orchestra in one corner of the garden played light classical music, and everywhere people stood around with glasses of champagne. They all wore clothes that were a lot more extravagant and expensive than mine. When Richard and I walked onto the grass among them, they all stopped talking and stared.

The music didn’t stop playing, but I half expected it to.

“Richard, darling, I’m so glad you could make it,” a woman cried out and hurried across the lawn to us. Her hair was a honey blond and arranged in intricate curls around her head before it was knotted on the back of her neck. She wore a grass-green dress that hung to the ground and flowed around her curves. Her neckline plunged down almost to her belly button, and her skin was glossy and salon-cultivated.

“And you must be…?”

“Nadine,” I said, holding out my hand.

“Astrid,” the woman said, looking down her nose at my hand. I dropped it to my side again.

“She’s absolutely adorable, Richie,” Astrid said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Do help yourself to some champagne.”

When we turned toward the champagne table, my cheeks burned. Everywhere eyes were on me, and I felt like I was being judged for everything, from my shoes and my dress to my offer of a handshake.

“You’re doing great,” Richard whispered to me.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. They don’t matter. Just you and me, okay?”

“How long do we have to stay?” I asked, but someone started speaking to Richard before he answered me. He still held my hand, but his attention was on other things, and I felt like I was just being dragged along. I dropped his hand.

He looked comfortable among these people. He knew what to talk about, and what to say. He had the same glossiness to him, the same extravagance as all of them. I was the only one that stood out, because I was bland and dull comparatively.

I stood to the side and watched Richard as he circled through the crowds, smiling and laughing in all the right places, knowing everyone by their first name and knowing things about their lives like their jobs or that their mother was ill or that a bad business deal had gone down.

I stood wilting to the side like a wallflower for about an hour when Astrid came to me.

“How are you enjoying yourself so far?” she asked.

“It’s a little different than I expected,” I admitted. She smiled at me, and it was genuine, different than when we met.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. We’ll be doing the speeches soon, and then a toast. After that, every man really just decides for himself what he wants to do.”

I nodded without saying anything. Next to Astrid, a wild desert flower, I felt like a drab little daisy.

“I just love your shoes,” she said and I doubted she was telling me the truth. I’d spied Christian Louboutons under her dress.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I’m a hairdresser. I’m starting...“

“Oh, that’s quaint. I have little hobbies like that too. It’s very endearing to give back to the community, isn’t it?”

I took a deep breath.

“Very,” I said softly.

I watched Richard. He was talking to a man with a keg for a belly. He was clutching a plate stacked with finger foods, and he had crumbs on his lips that moved as he talked.

“He’s quite comfortable in public, isn’t he?” Astrid said, and I realized she’d been watching Richard too.

“He is. He seems to be quite at home here,” I said. Unlike me, who felt like I had to crawl back to the wrong side of the tracks.

“I have to say that’s what drew me to him in the first place. He’s just a natural in a crowd.”

“Have you known him long?”

“Oh, yes, darling. And I have to tell you he’s the most solid person you’ll ever know. He hasn’t changed once through our entire relationship. You see, I was the one that failed him.”

My ears started ringing.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Oh, you know how Richie is. Always gallant and steadfast. He can make any girl feel like she’s the only girl in the world. When he asked me to marry him, well, that was it for me. I can imagine you know what that feels like.”

My blood drained from my face and I felt like I was going to fall off my wedges.

“Married?” I asked and my voice sounded thin, even to me. Astrid looked at me, her face riddled with concern and confusion. I didn’t know if it was for real. I didn’t know what was what anymore.

“Oh, I thought you knew, darling. Richard and I are married. Just over three years now. I thought this was something he would have mentioned to you.”

I shook my head slightly. I didn’t trust myself to make any bigger movements than that.

“Lord, you look pale. Well, as much as you can with your complexion. Can I get you something? Let me ask Richard to bring you a chair.”

She lifted her hand and started calling Richard, but I grabbed her arm. She looked at me, her eyes suddenly shooting fire.

“Unhand me,” she said in a cold voice.

“Don’t call him,” I said, pulling back my hand. Astrid shivered like I had been dirty and she’d been disgusted. “I’m just about to leave, anyway.”

“Pity, we’re just about to do the speeches.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine without me,” I said and turned.

“Yes, well we always have, haven’t we?” Astrid said behind me. Her words burned my skin like hot oil, and when I turned to look at her, she was already making her way through the crowd to a little podium that had been erected close to the orchestra.

I turned, my eyes blinded with tears, and walked away. The driveway was longer and further in my wedges, but when I got to the gate it opened for me by itself, as if someone inside had wanted me to leave.

I walked down the winding road, my shoes hurting my feet. The guards I passed ignored me. It seemed even they were too high and mighty for me. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I didn’t bother wiping them away.

***

I’d been walking for half an hour when a car honked behind me, and Richard’s R8 stopped next to me.

“Nadine, where are you going?” he asked, and saw tears. “What’s wrong?”

“Married, Richard?”

“Just get in, please. I can explain it to you.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t going anywhere with him. The car switched off and a door slammed. He grabbed my wrist but I yanked free.

“What is all of this to you?” I yelled. “You bring me here and parade me like some kind of show. You leave me on the side to fend for myself. And then I have to hear that you’re married to the queen bee herself? Married, Richard.”

I cried harder, my tears stopping more words from coming out.

“This isn’t what you think, Nadine,” he said. “Just let me explain it to you. Astrid and I… well, it’s all over the news. I thought you might… well, I hoped...“

“Don’t,” I said. Did he think I had time to look on the news for answers he should have given me himself? I turned and spotted a guard booth just a couple of feet away.

“Help me, please!” I called out. The guard stuck his head out the window. Richard grabbed my wrist again to stop me from walking away, but I tugged against him.

“Please,” I called to the guard again. He came out of the booth.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to unhand her,” he said, putting his hand on the baton hanging by his side.

“Stay out of this,” Richard said. “I’m trying to...“

“Please leave me alone,” I said, and the guard stepped closer to Richard, threatening.

“You heard what the lady said. Back away.”

Richard realized there wasn’t anything he could do without causing a scene that would earn him a concussion. He took a deep breath and looked at me with eyes that were so hurt I wanted to break in two. He could be hurt, I told myself. He was the one that had been playing me for a fool. And like an idiot I’d believed him when he’d told me that he wanted to be with me.

Richard walked to his car and got in, started it and made a U-turn to go back to his party. To his wife.

“Thank you,” I said to the guard. One that hadn’t ignored me. Thank God.

“Anytime, ma’am,” he said. “Can I call you a car?”

I nodded and followed him back to the booth.

Chapter 10 - Richard

“She’s not answering her phone. She hasn’t been to the salon once. You’ve really messed it up for me.”

Astrid laughed. “You can’t tell me you’re serious about this girl?”

“Actually, I am.”

“But why?” Astrid asked. “You had everything right in front of you. Now you’re claiming that you want to slum it for the rest of your life? What can you possible see in her?”

“I am serious about her, Astrid, because she’s nothing like you. She has heart, soul and doesn't play games with my head.”

Astrid had come to tell me in person that the divorce was through. The lawyers had processed all the paperwork we signed earlier, I was officially a single man. And I was miserable. I hadn’t been able to get a hold of Nadine in two weeks. I’d even gone by her house but she wasn’t there. Dianne had told me she’d gone to visit her mother.

Astrid’s face closed.

“You’ll be sorry, one day, when you realize you can’t get into the parties you used to, and the gossip is about you.”

I closed the door in her face. I wasn’t sorry I’d lost her at all. I was sorry I’d lost Nadine. I didn't care about the parties, or the gossip. I knew I’d done wrong. I should have told her about Astrid, about my past life. But I’d been scared she would compare herself to Astrid and decide she wasn’t good enough. Ironically, she was so much better, and all of Astrid's value was superficial, while Nadine's was priceless. Something money could never buy. I was scared she would turn me away.

Well, I’d really gone and done it now.

I sat down on one of the white leather couches in the lounge, and pulled the square black box out of my pocket. I’d bought this ring a month ago. I’d wanted to propose to her as soon as the divorce was through. I’d realized I was doing the six months thing again. I was going to marry the girl that had stolen my heart.

But that was just it. It hadn’t been about anything other than the fact that she’d stolen my heart.

The diamond in the center threw off tiny bits of light that danced across the wall. It was set among a line of smaller stones. The ring was gold, Nadine’s signature jewelry color. I clipped the box shut and leaned back. There was no way I was going to be able to figure this out now.

My phone woke me up.

“Hello?” I asked sleepily. Who the hell called at this time? When I looked at the clock I realized I’d slept past ten. I did a quick count on my fingers. It was my day off.

“Can we meet up?” Nadine’s voice rang clear through the speaker, and I was wide awake immediately.

“Of course,” I said. “Where?”

She directed me to the park. I jumped in the shower and got dressed in record time, pulling the same pants on as the day before and finding a shirt on the floor. I was at the park not even half an hour later.

Nadine’s green car was already in the parking lot overlooking the lake. I got out and walked to it. When she saw me she got out, too.

She looked tired, like years had passed, not just two weeks.

“I got your money. I can pay you back but you have to come to the bank with me because I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t want the money back,” I said. Just you, I added silently.

“We agreed it was a loan. I got your money so I don’t owe you anything, and we can part without anything between us.”

I shook my head, jamming my hands into my pockets. The little box with the ring in it was still in my pocket.

“Can we talk about what happened?” I asked. Nadine looked away. I hated how guarded and switched off she was. “Just to explain my side?”

“Fine, Richard,” she said in a tired voice.

“We were in the process of getting a divorce. We’d been separated for months by the time we met. It was just a question of getting the papers through.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked.

I took a deep breath. “Because I was scared I was going to lose you. I didn’t want to burst the bubble we were in.”

“So you think this is better?” she asked, and when she looked at me her eyes were shimmering, tears welling up on her lower lid.

“It’s not,” I said softly. “It’s a living hell. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. If I could go back and fix it all, I would.”

Nadine hung her head, and I risked touching her. When I put my hand on her shoulder, she leaned against me. Only her head touched my chest, but it was more than I’d hoped for, and the warmth and familiarity of having her close to me again was like coming home.

“I miss you,” she said so softly I wasn’t sure I even heard it.

“Please can we try again?” I asked. She looked up at me, her eyes full of uncertainty and fear.

“I don’t know how I can believe everything is just alright now. How do I know I’m the only one? How do I know I won’t be setting myself up for another heartbreak?”

I clenched the ring in my hand, squeezing the little box hard. It was now or never. Do or die.

I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut, and pulled it out.

Nadine frowned and took it from me, opening it. Her eyes widened when she saw the ring, and she looked up at me.

“What…?”

“I want to marry you. Because you're the only one for me.”

She looked at the ring, running her finger over the diamonds. She shook her head slowly.

“I don’t know…”

“I’m not just going to leave again, Nadine. I want to be there through everything for you. I want to be the man you and Trevor both need. I don’t want to lose you, ever again.”

“But what about all the other people… your circles? Your friends? I don’t fit in there. I can’t be an Astrid.”

“Which is why I want you. I don’t want them. I hate them and how fake they are, how much everything they say and feel for me is a lie. They are the type of people that only befriend you when they need something. Trust me I know I've known many of them for years, and I could do without them. I love you, Nadine. Marry me.”

I took the ring out of the box, and took her left hand in mine. She looked up at me and smiled, and I slid it on.

“I love you too,” she said softly, and I wrapped my arms around her. I was never going to let go again.