Divine Design (12 page)

“I just kept hoping that if I didn’t move, time would stand still and this wouldn’t end,” she said, as she molded her body closer to his.

“I know,” he murmured, squirming to get even closer to her. “But this isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning.”

“Lord, what a cuddly person you are.” She cheerfully and affectionately changed the subject. “You’re like a big, lovable teddy bear.”

“Then I’m glad to see you like teddy bears,” he said.

“What makes you think I do?” She chuckled as he shifted positions again.

“Is that or is that not a teddy bear?” he asked, as he rolled over and pointed to the soft, brown toy on Meghan’s dresser.

She had forgotten about it completely. The teddy bear with its big red ribbon had been too tempting when she’d seen it in the store window yesterday. She’d gone in and picked it up, testing its softness. She had known instantly that her baby had to have it. When she’d gotten home, she’d propped him lovingly on her dresser. He was there to help her wait for the arrival of their baby.

“That’s for a friend of mine,” she said hastily.

“A young one, I hope,” he said, grinning.

“Oh, I expect when I meet him, he’ll be very, very young,” she whispered whimsically, almost to herself.

“A friend of yours is having a baby?” he inquired offhandedly, as he smoothed his hand over her barely rounded abdomen. He pictured her carrying his baby and warmed to the idea immediately.

“Yes, she’s very close to me,” Meghan replied as honestly as she thought she could without causing him heart failure.

“That’s wonderful,” he murmured against her neck, aware of the reawakening desire inside him. “I like children.”

“So do I,” she whispered, as his lips came up to press tenderly on hers.

M
EGHAN COULD VAGUELY
remember her mother’s funeral. She had cried without really knowing why, but was aware that part of her life was missing and nothing would ever be the same. She wanted to cry this morning for the same reasons, plus the added grief of knowing why.

“Lord, I hate that look on your face, darlin’, but it makes me so happy,” Michael said, planting another kiss on her mouth as they said their good-byes in front of her apartment building. “Cheer up, Meghan, love, the month will fly by, and we’ll be together again.” He kissed her long and hard once more, then raced off to his cab, calling, “I’ll phone you tonight.”

Meghan only nodded, not trusting herself to open her mouth. He called her from the airport, not waiting until he’d reached Dallas, and caught her at the office on her way out to have lunch with a client.

“Hi.” His voice came cheerfully over the line. Meghan had just accustomed herself to the sluggish, depressed feeling that had prevailed throughout her morning, only to have her heart skip a beat and begin a rapid tapping at the mere sound of his voice.

“Hi,” she returned breathlessly. “Where are you?”

“I’m still at Kennedy. My plane was delayed so I thought I’d give you a second chance to try and entice me into staying in New York. I’m feeling very susceptible to emotional blackmail right now,” he hinted.

“I thought this was an important trip,” she returned thoughtfully, as a satisfied smile played unconsciously at her lips.

“It is, or I wouldn’t be going right now, but I still wouldn’t object to you making a fuss and maybe whining and crying a little,” he said.

“That’s not exactly my style,” she returned, unable to suppress the giggle at the back of her throat.

“So I’ve noticed,” he informed her bluntly. “Would you consider packing a bag and going with me if I took a later flight out of here?”

“Well,” she said, “that is more my style, but the timing is all wrong.”

Playful banter could be addictive with Michael around. She loved his wit and intelligence, but they were only one part of what she was going to miss about him. On that thought her spirits came crashing back to earth and, more resolute than ever, she sat up straighter in her chair.

“We both have busy professional lives,” she reminded him. “That makes … other things a little complicated, doesn’t it?”

“In this case, the … other things are well worth making time for, Meghan. And I may as well warn you, darlin’, if I feel you slipping away from me again, there won’t be anything in Texas important enough to keep me from coming back,” he told her firmly. And she believed him.

He called that night, and every morning and night after that, right up until the time Meghan had to leave town. As he had predicted, the time had flown by.

Instead of the usual slow work period at the office during the holidays, things picked up after Thanksgiving. Two of Meghan’s cases came to trial earlier than expected, and her appointments in the office were arranged back-to-back.

Her busy schedule, the fatigue of her pregnancy, and the anguish she felt over Michael began to show. She lost weight, which Lucy chastised her for severely and called Mrs. Belinski with a special high protein, high calorie diet and charged her with the duty of making sure Meghan ate it.

She didn’t look much better a week later when she entered Henry Alderman’s office.

“I’ve finished the Ramsey case. Do you want it? All we need is his signature and his check. The papers to incorporate Dobsons’ into Texacal are in the file too. He just has to sign them,” she finished.

“Sure. It’ll be a good excuse to see him again,” he said. Henry gave her a speculative look, then asked, “What did you think of him?”

Meghan shrugged noncommittally. “He’s okay. Why?”

“When I met him, I was very curious about the effect he would have on a red-blooded woman … such as yourself,” he explained, as his lips twitched to keep himself from grinning. Henry’s grin became hard to conceal as he watched her squirm in her chair, a slight rosiness flushing her cheeks.

Discussing Michael Ramsey as a client was part of her job and he was a topic that she had to handle professionally, but discussing him as a man was disturbing to her. She cleared her throat gently, then replied, “He’s just another client, Henry, and you know I don’t get involved with clients.”

“I see,” he said with a straight face, as he looked down at the paperwork before him. “So, when is this client supposed to come sign these papers?”

“I’m not sure. I have to call him about a couple of small matters, so I’ll let him know that he is to contact you when he gets back,” she said, preparing to go. “I’ll leave my files and summaries with your secretary before I go, and you can dole them out. And Greta knows how to reach me if the need arises.”

“We’ll muddle through somehow, Meghan,” Henry told her, letting her know that no one was indispensable. “You look like hell. Every time I see you I’m afraid you’ll drop dead at my feet,” he said unmercifully. “Enjoy yourself, Meghan. I’ll miss you. Even anemic and exhausted, you’re one of the best attorneys, not to mention people, I know.”

“All right Henry. Thank you,” she said with mixed emotions. She hated leaving her partners in a bind, but she was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained … and her precious secret would be showing soon. Besides, maybe if she had some time alone and some rest, she could sort out her feelings about Michael.

“Henry, if I don’t see you, Merry Christmas.” She smiled at him fondly and let herself out of his office.

That night Meghan sat alone in her darkened apartment, the phone settled in her lap and clutched tightly in both hands. It was her last night in town, her last chance to talk to Michael, the time to tell him about the baby.

It hadn’t been an easy decision to make, but her love for Michael and her guilt had won out over her shame and selfishness. She would tell him about the baby. Either way, she’d never be able to have Michael himself. They just weren’t ever meant to be. She at least could try her best to do what was right in regard to visitation and …

“Oh. Michael. I wish that you could know how much I love you, how much I wish things were different,” she cried, her lungs tight, every beat of her heart causing an excruciating pain. But he couldn’t, and they weren’t, and she owed him the truth.

Michael was a good, honest man. A man of strong character, he would be hurt and outraged beyond belief if he ever discovered the truth from anyone but her. Because she loved him, she was willing to allow him to hate her. She’d tell him about their baby.

Her sobs abating, she prepared herself to sound calm and endure an inferno as she dialed the phone.

“Everything is all set. All you need to do is bring your money and sign your name,” she told him after the routine “How are you’s.” Then she cheerfully added, “However … the Dobson brothers have decided they would like to put out a Fortieth Anniversary issue late this summer. They said we could go ahead with the deal, and you could move in anytime, but they would like complete control and ownership until after the anniversary issue.” She paused briefly. “Knowing how you feel about those two, I said I couldn’t see any problem, but that I’d have to check with you first to make sure. However,” she added again hastily, “I went ahead and drew up the final papers with that stipulation included. I’m too busy to rewrite them, so don’t disappoint me and suddenly turn greedy,” she teased.

“I would have been disappointed in you if you had thought I wouldn’t okay it,” he said. Actually, it was wonderful, he thought. With everything tied up in the west and with light getting-to-know-the-ropes duties at Dobson, he’d have plenty of time to spend with Meghan.

These last two weeks had been frustrating and miserable for him. He thought about her constantly. He relived every moment he’d spent with her, remembering every word she had said and the way she had laughed. He pictured her tossing that mane of hair over her shoulders and their last night together.

She still harbored a secret she couldn’t bring herself to tell him, but he knew she would trust him in time. She was warm, intelligent, witty, and exceptionally beautiful, and he loved her. He needed and wanted her in his life. He planned to find a way to make her trust and love and need him in return. He had to find a way. He was falling hard and he knew it, and, while the last two weeks had been frustrating and miserable, he had never been happier or more optimistic in his life.

He asked about work and she told him of two cases coming to court earlier than predicted, her heavy work load, and how she was so exhausted, she practically crawled off to bed every night. She said she’d been going into the office early and staying late, just to get everything done before the holidays. As she was planning to visit her family in Boston, she didn’t want a ton of work hanging over her head the whole time.

“I probably won’t be able to get back until after the first of the year. This little problem shouldn’t take too much time, but as long as I’m here, I’ll finish up a few other things. Then I won’t need to come back to Texas until the end of the summer,” he explained, obviously expecting her to be in New York when he got back.

Now was the time. She couldn’t put off telling him her secret any longer.

“Michael,” she started tentatively, then drew a long breath and released it. “Michael, I …” She sighed deeply again, unable to get enough air. “I have something I need to tell you … something important.” She paused, again gulping for air.

“Everything you say to me is important,” he said intimately. “By the way, have I told you yet how crazy I am about you?”

Meghan’s response was silence. Her nerve was gone. His words had destroyed her good intentions and at the same time had torn her heart into a million tortured pieces.

“Meghan? Are you there?” a worried Michael broke in.

“Yes.”

“I’m listening. What was it you wanted to tell me?” he asked, his voice still conveying his concern.

“I …” She couldn’t do it. “I left your file with Henry. So if you get back to town before I do and want to wrap things up, he can help you.”

“Okay. Was that all?” he questioned, sensing there was more she wanted to say.

“Yes … no … I miss you, Michael,” fell from her mouth before she could stop it.

“Oh, Meghan, darlin’. I miss you too. More than I can say,” he almost purred with happiness. “I’d give anything to be there with you, to hold you again.” He paused thoughtfully, then added, “Look, I’m going to try and hustle things along here. Maybe I can get back before you leave town for the holidays.”

“No, Michael,” she said in a rush, “I mean, go ahead and finish it all up. Spend the holidays with your own family and … well, there’s no sense in having to go back right away if you can take care of it all now while you’re there,” she said, hoping she sounded logical.

“I guess,” Michael conceded reluctantly. “But I’m dying to be with you again.”

“I know,” she said softly, empathizing with him.

A week later Meghan was in New Bedford at her Aunt Kate’s, where she planned to stay until after she had the baby. The lovely old woman had welcomed her with open arms, congratulating her on her pregnancy, and told her how wonderful it was that Meghan was going to pass on the Shay red hair.

Aunt Kate was Meghan’s father’s aunt and nearly eighty—but most of the time it was hard to tell. She was definitely a pixy, a sweet, kind soul who rode a bicycle everywhere she went and dyed her once “Shay red hair” red, which managed to turn it a peculiar shade of orange.

In Meghan’s desolate frame of mind, Aunt Kate was a true godsend. She made Meghan feel welcome and loved, and best of all, she made her laugh.

“Meghan, dear, where are you?” Kate greeted from the kitchen door. It was late afternoon on the day before Christmas Eve.

Meghan had lain down for a short nap that had extended to two hours. Groggy, she called out to her aunt.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Kate exclaimed as she bustled into the room. “I’ve just received the most terrible news. Freddy Preston fell on his front stoop and broke his hip a week ago, and I simply must go. You’ll be fine here alone, won’t you? I mean, we do have a little time before your baby comes, don’t we?” she asked anxiously.

“Yes. Of course. Plenty of time. Four more months, but …”

“Well, it shouldn’t take me that long to get Freddy back on his hip,” interrupted Aunt Kate. “He’s such a marvelous dancer. This is such a shame, but he really is one of my favorites, and I feel I ought to be with him. You understand, don’t you, dear?”