Distracted by her Virtue (11 page)

She crossed her arms over her chest to contain the icy shudder that ran through her. ‘It didn’t even seem to cross his mind that I was Charlie’s mother and would fight him tooth and nail on that. He believed that his son had married beneath him, so consequently he had very little regard for me. Tom’s behaviour didn’t change. He warned me he would take Charlie away from me himself if I told his father that his drinking, drug-taking and womanising had got worse. He was spending every penny we had on his destructive habits. He was pinning all his hopes on his inheritance. He said if I jeopardised his birthright by trying to leave then he would find me, come hell or high water. And then I would
really
see what he was capable of.’

Shaking her head in despair, Sophia lifted her now brimming eyes to Jarrett, incapable of holding back the emotional tide that swamped her. ‘Both my husband and his father made it impossible for me to turn to anyone for help—even my brother. They blocked every avenue I could take. They didn’t want me to talk to
anyone
. My father-in-law feared losing his reputation if anyone found out the truth about what was going on, and my husband was terrified he’d lose his inheritance. His debts escalated wildly—as I found out when he died. Because of their threats, because of my terrible fear that somehow they would snatch Charlie away from me if I
did
manage to escape—that was why I stayed in the marriage longer than I should have …
Not
because I wanted to, or because I had no self-respect, but because I honestly believed I had no choice.’

‘You should have gone to the police … told them everything.’

‘If I’d filed a report then they would have conducted an investigation. If Tom hadn’t hurt me even more because I’d dared to do such a thing, then I’ve no doubt that his father would have done everything in his power to take Charlie away from me and make me pay for disgracing him and his son. Can you see why I couldn’t do that? My son means everything to me …
everything
!’

‘Don’t cry, sweetheart … please don’t cry.’

On his feet, Jarrett was by her side in an instant. Enfolding her in his arms, he pulled her head down onto his broad muscular chest. In the midst of her distress, a jolt of surprise ricocheted through Sophia. The wonderful sensation of being held so tenderly instantly made her feel warm and protected. She hadn’t experienced such a feeling since she’d lived at home with her dad—before she’d met and married Tom Abingdon. But what surprised her most of all was the realisation that Jarrett’s heart was beating as wild and as fast as her own beneath the soft wool of his luxurious cashmere sweater.

She lifted her face up towards him. ‘Before my husband died I vowed to myself that I
would
find a way to get Charlie and me out of that horrendous situation. I’d even started making discreet enquiries about going abroad … somewhere far-flung where Tom’s father’s influence carried no weight. But then Tom died in his sleep … just like that. When I found him he looked almost peaceful. It doesn’t seem right somehow, does it? That a man can put his family through such hell and then abdicate all responsibility by simply dying?’

‘I don’t want to make you feel even more upset—but why did you marry such a man in the first place?’

Jarrett’s big warm hand cupped her cheek as he glanced intently down into her eyes. The guilt she still suffered made Sophia struggle to find adequate words to explain. ‘I was young and naive and flattered by his attention. He was good-looking, funny and clever, and because he’d been given everything on a silver spoon he was supremely confident too. When it came to getting what he wanted he knew exactly how to go about it, and when he decided that he wanted
me
I was too young and stupid to see that I might be walking into a trap. I was so dazzled by him that I relinquished every ounce of common sense I may have had. When he asked me to marry him I didn’t even hesitate. Even when I started to hear rumours about his drinking and chasing women I told myself not to worry … that he would soon learn he’d made the right choice in making
me
his lifelong partner. I thought I could reform him, make him change some of his less attractive qualities when he saw what a good life we could have together.’

‘How did you meet him?’

‘I went to school with his younger cousin, and I met him at a party at her house.’ Feeling suddenly uncomfortable beneath Jarrett’s intense scrutiny, she removed his hand from her cheek and glanced away. ‘No doubt I was easy prey. I was only eighteen—hardly a woman of the world. I’d just got into studying photography, and I wanted to go on to university. Meeting Tom put a stop to all that. It wasn’t as though nobody warned me. My dad told me early on to cool things off and not rush into anything. But I was deaf to his advice. My husband-to-be even managed to fool
him
into thinking
his intentions were good … that he loved me and wanted to take care of me. In the beginning I believed it, too. But it didn’t take long for my fiancé’s true nature to surface. I thank God that my dad didn’t live to see what he put me through.’

The silence that pervaded the room after she’d finished speaking felt like a smothering blanket, and Sophia wanted to escape into the open air. Moving out of the intimate circle of Jarrett’s protection, she lifted her glance to stare forlornly out of the window at the still pounding rain. She shivered.

‘I’d better go. I’m trying to convert one of the downstairs rooms into a darkroom, and there’s a lot to do. I have to get on. Thanks for the tea … and for listening.’

‘Don’t go. It can’t have been easy to share what you’ve just told me. It was very brave. It’s only natural that you might be feeling vulnerable and exposed. I made you a promise that I wouldn’t share your confidences with anyone, remember? I want you to know that you can trust me, Sophia. I would never harm you or Charlie.’ Catching her hand, Jarrett gently impelled her towards him. ‘You’ve been through a terrible ordeal,’ he acknowledged huskily, ‘but given time things will slowly but surely get better—believe me. This is a new start for you and your son. Your husband is dead, Sophia … he can’t hurt you or Charlie any more.’

‘What about his father? Why do you think I reacted the way I did when you came up to me that day by the stream? After Tom died I had to sell the house to pay off his debts, and his father suggested that Charlie and I move in with him instead of finding somewhere else to live. Can you imagine it? The thought filled me with absolute horror. I had to run away so that he wouldn’t
try and force me. That day, when you first saw me, I thought you were someone he’d hired to come and find me and snatch Charlie. If he ever finds out where I am he could—he might—’

‘Hey …’

Jarrett drew the pad of his thumb down over her cheek, and the look in his intense blue eyes along with the enticing flare of heat that his touch instigated inside her made Sophia sway a little closer towards him.

‘Stop scaring yourself. You and Charlie are safe now,’ he told her. ‘I’ll do everything in my power to make sure of that.’

‘Why? Why would you do that for me?’ The lid she’d tried so hard to keep firmly shut down on her emotions when she was with other people suddenly flew open, and she couldn’t stop the slow track of scalding tears that started to spill down her face.

‘You don’t really need to ask me that … do you?’

His carved masculine mouth formed a knee-trembling smile that could melt a heart of stone, and although bruised and battered Sophia’s heart was neither stony
nor
hard. She was ripe for a little tenderness, even though she’d sought to arm herself against it.

No further reflection was necessary as Jarrett laid his lips over hers in a kiss that started off on a slow-burning simmer and then quickly turned into a conflagration of passion and need. Again and again she gasped breathlessly into his mouth, needing to taste him, needing to feel the ravenous demand of his warm lips and hot tongue, meeting it with her own helpless craving, almost swooning with pleasure as his big hands dived into her hair and freed her still damp plaits.
In response, her arms wound themselves round his lean hard middle to keep her steady.

The realisation that hit her like a tidal wave was that her sexual need hadn’t been completely deadened by her husband’s cruel behaviour, as she’d believed. His cutting taunts and profligate behaviour had killed her desire very quickly once they were married. By the time she’d learned she was pregnant with Charlie the mere idea of her husband’s hands coming anywhere
near
her body had been like agreeing to imbibe poison. Now, with Jarrett, she felt like a neglected flower in a shaded part of the garden that had unexpectedly caught a shower of glorious summer rain just in the nick of time. If he had wanted to become more intimate with her there and then Sophia would have let him. Her usually highly maintained defences had been demolished by that first exquisite contact with his lips and the sensation of his body pressing hungrily against hers. He made her feel like a real woman again.

It was Jarrett who poured the first drops of ice-cool water on the fire they’d made. Breaking off their passionate kiss with a rueful smile, he held her gently at arm’s length, and she knew that the sound of his fast and heavy breathing and the look of stunned pleasure on his face easily matched her own.

‘As much as I desire you—and it must be obvious to you by now that I do—I won’t take advantage of you when you’re clearly feeling vulnerable,’ he asserted, his glance flicking concernedly over her face. ‘When you’re feeling calmer, and know what you want without your thoughts and feelings being clouded by emotion … then—if you decide that’s what you want—we can have a more intimate relationship.’

Her heart was thudding so hard inside her chest that Sophia couldn’t get an immediate grip on her emotions. Humiliation and shame slammed into her that she’d so stupidly exposed her need and vulnerability to Jarrett. Would he think it was no wonder that she’d ended up with a brute like her husband when she was clearly so desperate for love and affection … for
sex
?

Twisting out of his arms, she shakily rubbed her face dry of tears. ‘Thanks for keeping a level head when I was clearly losing mine. I appreciate it. Now I’d better go. I have things to do at home. Like I said—I’ve started to convert a room into a darkroom to print my pictures and I really need to get on with it.’

‘Sophia?’

‘Yes?’ The command in Jarrett’s tone ensured her feet stayed firmly rooted to the spot when her preference was to escape as quickly as she could, so that she could go home and lick her wounds in private and examine why she had so eagerly let down her guard around him.

‘I
want
you … Make no mistake about that. But it’s not just sex that I want. What I want most of all is a relationship with you. I’d like to start by taking you out to dinner tonight.’

‘I don’t think that I—’

‘Don’t turn away from me. It’s time you returned to the land of the living and started to enjoy life again.’

‘The concept of enjoying my life feels like a million miles away right now,’ she confessed quietly as she ventured to meet his piercing gaze.

‘Well, maybe you can start by at least entertaining the thought. And by agreeing to go out to dinner with me tonight.’

The tumult inside Sophia started to subside a little, so that she was at last able to think more clearly. After Tom she’d been certain that she would steer clear of men—particularly
handsome
men—for the rest of her life.

With a trembling hand she brushed back the long waving hair that clung damply to the sides of her face. ‘All right. I’ll go out to dinner with you tonight. Satisfied?’ she added with a touch of feistiness. Because although she wanted more than anything to go out to dinner with Jarrett she had to be careful not to seem too eager.

‘After
that
kiss?’ His face assumed an exaggeratedly pained expression. ‘Not by a long chalk, sweetheart. Not when I think I’ve just discovered the true meaning of the word frustration!’

‘You were the one who put a stop to it.’

‘Very true.’ A muscle hitched in the side of his sculpted cheekbone, and this time his expression was deadly serious. ‘But I’m glad that I did. I want to get to know you, Sophia. I want you to get to know
me
. Isn’t that how all good relationships are meant to start out? With friendship?’

She stared. The concept was alien to her … that a man and a woman could be
friends
before they were lovers.

I
N THE
softly lit restaurant, with candlelight flickering between them, at the beautifully laid corner table that he had specifically reserved, Jarrett formed his hands into a steeple and rested his chin on it to study his companion more closely.

It wasn’t just the muted lighting and candlelight that rendered her features beautiful. It was a face that he could never imagine growing tired of looking at. Just one glance into eyes the colour of new-mown summer grass with sweeping chestnut lashes was enough to kindle a lifelong fascination. But it didn’t hurt that Sophia’s other features were equally compelling—from the small, elegant nose, the strongly defined pretty mouth, right down to the gentle cleft in a firm chin that denoted an uncommon strength of character and resolve. And, by God, she must have had to employ both of those attributes in spades during a marriage that had surely been made in hell.

He was still reeling at what she had told him. The truth had turned out to be much worse than he’d anticipated. The thought of her suffering at the hands of the sort of man her husband had been was enough to make a peaceable man like himself commit violence. In
his opinion Tom had done her and Charlie a favour by dying suddenly like that. Still, it bothered Jarrett that Sophia would probably carry the psychological wounds of that terrible experience for the rest of her life.

That was why he had gently held her off in the midst of that incredible kiss they’d shared. He didn’t want her to feel as if he was taking advantage of her in any way, even if his decision to cool things down a bit had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Now he planned to woo her properly … to let her know that he would put respect for her feelings, needs and wants above his own desires. He’d waited a long time for the right woman to come into his life, and Sophia was already too important to him to scare her off with any kind of rash move. You didn’t rescue a bird with a broken wing and expect it to fly again without tending to it first, without allowing it time to heal.