Dismantling Evan (33 page)

I didn’t want to appear that way to him or Gavin. “No, I figured I would spare you the interrogation from both of them,” I say with a painted on sarcastic grin.

“I get it, Evan, but I think I can handle parents pretty well,” Brody comments.

Both he and Gavin have stopped walking. Brody keeps his eyes on me as he asks, “Gav, do you think I handle parents pretty well?”

I almost ask for forgiveness, when Gavin looks from me to Brody, then lets out an odd sounding cackle, and snorts. “No. You don’t handle parents well Brody.”

Brody’s jaw drops, obviously expecting Gav to have his back, but then he grins. “Thanks, brother.”

Gavin walks toward me, grinning proudly from ear to ear. “You are welcome, brother.” He lets out one more cackle before opening the door to the work shed and calls back to Brody and I, “Hurry up, it is cold out there!”

Brody files in behind me and I flip on the light switch.

“Wow, this place is awesome, Evan!” Gavin says stiffly, but in obvious amazement.

“Thanks Gavin. I thought you would like it,” I say.

I show Gavin around the small space, pointing out where I keep the containers of developer and fixer and I point to the enlarger.

Gavin adds excitedly, “Whoa! That is a Beseler-23CII-XL condenser enlarger!”

I look over at Brody just as he grins at me. I’m surprised at how well-versed he is on all the terms. “How does he know that?” I ask, then look at Gavin as he touches the enlarger, “How do you know that, Gavin?”

Gavin seems to ignore me, but Brody picks up for him, “I’m sure Gavin has looked at every single type of photography gadget you could dream of on the internet by now.”

“Yes, I have,” Gavin confirms as he continues to inspect the enlarger. “Can we use it?”

I giggle at his excitement and notice Brody smile as he watches his brother’s amazement. “Yes, that is why I wanted you to come over.”

The process of setting up the negative film strip is easy to me, but I make sure to walk Gavin through the entire process after I tell him what Brody and I did to get the film ready for today.

As I set up the focus and aperture of the image of Hamilton pool’s waterfall, he hits me with precise and detailed, even educated questions about the process. I am eager to answer all of them for him because it is the most I have ever heard him say at one time. I’m also happy to see that the incident at school with Mr. Thompson wasn’t weighing too heavily on him anymore. When I have the image just as I want it on the canvas, I turn off the enlarger and maneuver around Brody to turn off the light. He doesn’t attempt to move away, which I’m kind of happy about.

“What are you doing?” Gavin asks, nervously.

“I have to turn off the light for the process.” I take a sheet of five by seven inch photo paper and remove the canvas and slip the paper onto the easel.

“You know, it would be really cool if you got a camera,” I say as I turn on the enlarger.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Gavin says nervously as he leans down over the counter and watches the photo paper light up with the image of the Hamilton Pool waterfall.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I ask with exaggerated surprise. “If you ask me, I think you have found your passion Gavin Ferguson!”

He looks up at me, guardedly, then at Brody next to me before looking back down at the image again. “I’m not too sure,” he says shyly.

“I think Evan is on to something, Gav. I have never seen you as excited about something as you have been with this stuff,” adds Brody. His shoulder brushes up against mine then he adds, “You know, Christmas is just over a month away, Gav.”

Seeing Brody’s eyes light up as he talks to Gavin, with such selflessness, makes my heart skip a little. Just then, Brody looks over at me and I realize I have stared longer than I should have. I turn off the enlarger after twenty seconds, remove the photo paper and place the canvas back onto the easel to prepare for the next image. I hold the negative carrier and pull the negatives through until I find the one image I am really excited about developing for Gavin. I place the negative carrier back into the enlarger, close it, then turn on the enlarger. The brightness from it sets Gavin’s narrow face aglow as his smile stretches wider, seeing the image of him and Brody splashing each other in the pool.

“A camera would be a pretty sweet Christmas gift, Gav,” I add as I adjust the focus and the aperture of the image on the canvas. Once it is set, I turn the enlarger off again to ready the photo paper.

“Yeah, I really have my mind on something else though,” Gavin comments.

I slip a new sheet of photo paper on the easel, then switch on the enlarger again. Gavin’s smile softens, he is resting his elbow on the counter and his head against his open hand, seemingly mesmerized by the image being transferred to the photo paper.

Just as curious as I am, Brody asks, “Really? What did you have in mind bro?”

Gavin’s eyes meet mine, then move to Brody, “It would be amazing if Dad found his way home for Christmas, wouldn’t it Brody?” His voice sounds so small, whimsical, as if he is imagining at this very moment his father coming home on Christmas morning.

My mind is blank and I don’t have a response ready. I don’t think Brody does either, because he is just staring at Gavin, emotionless.

As quiet as I can, I maneuver around Brody to place each sheet of photo paper in the developer, fixer, and rinse trays systematically. He moves away from me and backs into the furthest corner of the small space as Gavin says, “He has been gone so long. I’m starting to forget the way his voice sounded when he said my name.”

The emotions rise into my throat and my own tears threaten to fall as I listen to Gavin’s quirky, stiff, but sad voice lament about his father.

The images of the waterfall and two Ferguson brothers splashing in Hamilton Pool appear before Gavin and me as we both hover over the trays. “Wow,” Gavin says in an astounded yet very faint voice. Even though the knot in my throat threatens to release a shaky voice, I try and keep it steady. “There they are. They turned out perfect.”

A tear breaks away from my eye and I quickly turn my face from Gavin just in case he’s looking. I lift the waterfall image and lay it on the wire drying tray. Brody looks at me, arms crossed and sullen faced. I collect the image of Brody and Gavin splashing in the pool from the rinse. Again, I turn and place it on the drying rack next to the first.

All of a sudden, unnatural light fills the shed and Brody clears his throat, “Ah, man, I just remembered. I have to go into work early today. I have to work on a car that came in late last night.”

Brody is looking down and fidgeting strangely, but I take it as him trying to shake the emotions Gavin’s Christmas wish has stirred.

He moves to the door swiftly. “Gav, we’ve got to go. I’m taking you over to Ash’s house.”

“But I wanted to see Evan develop some more.”

Brody is doing everything to not look directly at me or Gavin. “Can’t buddy. I’ve got to get to work and you have finals to study for. Ash’s mom said she wanted to help you with it today.”

Gavin looks back at me and I quickly shift my concern for Brody to a happy face for Gavin. “It’s all right Gav. We can do this again.”

“Promise?” he asks in all seriousness.

I nod and fold my arms over my chest, suddenly the chill in the room has increased. “Yes, I promise.”

“Thanks, California. See you later,” is all Brody says before opening the shed door to leave with Gavin following closely behind him.

“Bye, Evan,” Gavin calls to me from the yard.

“Bye,” I whisper as I stare fixedly at the leaves, dancing into the open doorway, bearing colder air in with them.

“So, Brody seems like a nice guy,” Dad says making conversation over leftovers dinner - beef stew.

I look up at him, checking if he really thinks so.

“He works to help out his mom is the way I take it,” he adds then looks over at Mom. “That is something you don’t see a bad kid do.” He scoops another spoonful of beef onto his spoon. “I like him,” Dad adds before he places his spoonful of stew in his mouth.

Dad’s words make me want to smile, but I hold my grin at bay and glance over at Mom.

She chews her food slowly, eyeing me for any reaction to Dad’s compliment. “No, bad kids don’t do that kind of thing, you are right.” She takes a sip of water and I expect the conversation to stop with that, but then she adds, “It makes me wonder if Brody has had a chance to think of his future. With him so busy working, taking care of Gavin, juggling school, he can’t be expected to keep everything afloat. And, with this mysterious disappearance of his father and Sarah Ferguson being awfully close mouthed about what happened...anyway, it is a lot of pressure and pressure can make people do things you wouldn’t expect.”

I don’t know what direction she is taking with this conversation, but it doesn’t settle well. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Here we go again,” Dad mumbles.

“Wait, you asked Mrs. Ferguson about Mr. Ferguson’s disappearance?”

“Yes, the night of the Bar-b-Que, when Mr and Mrs. Bell, Dad and I walked her home.” Mom looks to Dad for confirmation.

Dad nods. “I can understand her still being emotional about it and we didn’t interrogate her or anything. It was more like us just showing concern, because we are. I mean, her husband disappeared in a foreign country for God’s sake. We told her if there was anything we could do to help we would.”

“She seemed really stand offish, unsure of saying much of anything. Nikki’s mom said that she has been that way since it all happened, not wanting to talk about it at all. It’s no wonder everybody is reaching for straws to figure out what could have happened to him.” Mom takes another spoonful of stew.

I want to say that no one has any right to be reaching for straws. It is none of their business. But, I realize that I have been guilty of this too over the past few weeks. I have wondered if the military has tried searching for him. If their searches have turned up nothing and that is why Brody is hurt when Gavin brings him up in conversation, like today.

“I don’t think anyone has the right to pass judgment on what they think has happened to Mr. Ferguson,” I say, just as the doorbell rings.

Mom looks from Dad to me. “Busy doorbell, today.”

Nikki is at the door. I feel nervous when she smiles at Mom and asks to come in to speak with me. I was a total bitch in the hallway. Is she coming over to tell me what she really thinks of me now that she has had time to calm down?

I think again on what Brody said about Nikki taking up for Gavin and how doing that had repercussions for them. She had been a co-captain of the varsity cheerleading squad. She was a friggin’ Samantha Johnson.... but not really because she wasn’t an asshole. Brody and Asher were jocks, but not the douchebag kind of jocks. Lia, she was an ingénue cheerleader, up and coming. They were part of the top tier of the caste system until they showed their humanity for one of the untouchables: Gavin. In that moment the wall of stereotypes, social caste systems, and the untouchables was completely obliterated. Nikki Bell mightn’t be here at this very moment to rip me to shreds. She just might be here to be a friend.

“Hey,” she says as she inches toward the table behind Mom.

“Hey,” I say softly.

I help clear the table before Nikki and I head up to my room.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you, like ever again,” I say as I flop down on my desk chair.

Nikki climbs onto my partially made bed and sits cross legged in front of me. “Yeah, well. Forever is too long for me.” She smirks. “Plus, I had to know how the car ride home with Brody went.”

Just like that, everything that was said between us in the hallway at school seems to disappear and I think to myself that this must be what real friendship is like.

“So, did he kiss you?” Her question takes me by surprise; typical Nikki.

“What?” I squeEl.

“Hey, I’m pulling for ya Evan Phillips,” she laughs.

I realized I haven’t told her. After a small silence, I decide to tell her. “It kind of already happened.”

“What? And you didn’t tell me! You bitch!” Her squeal trumps mine and I hush her the best I can while trying to silence my own laughter.

I tell her all the details from the memory of Brody kissing me in the shed even though there isn’t much.

“Wow, that is kind of beautiful,” she says, laying propped up on her elbow. “But Brody has always been a romantic kind of guy. Just glad he is giving it to someone who deserves it.”

I think of Celine and an image of him kissing her pops into my head. I quickly snuff out the raunchy image and try and downplay what happened between Brody and I. “It was just a kiss. It probably won’t happen ever again.”

Nikki’s head perks up. “Are you shitting me? Let me tell you something sister-friend...”

Sister-friend? Is that some kind of southern thing?

“...Brody Ferguson doesn’t just kiss anyone. I have known him my entire life and I can count on one hand the number of girls he has kissed... including you. I can tell you that none of those girls have anything on you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Evan. He is really into you.”