Discovering Sophie (3 page)

Sophie groaned and put her hands over her face. “Oh, what is wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You’re not engaged to—” Camille pulled Sophie’s hands away from her face. “You’re not engaged, right?”

Sophie thought about the diamond ring sitting in her jewelry box. Before leaving on his business trip, Peter had insisted on her taking the ring, asking her to hold on to it until she found out what happened to her father. Poor Peter believed that was the only thing holding her back and probably thought having the ring in her possession would sway her. She felt even worse for not being completely honest with him.

“No. You know I would never get engaged and not tell you.”

“That’s what I thought.” Camille spun Sophie’s barstool around so they were facing each other. “Now, let’s talk about your trip. What’s going to happen when you show up and Jack finds out Dr. Kendrick is a woman?”

Sophie bit her bottom lip. “I hope he’ll consider my situation and help me find my father.”

Unable to look Camille in the eye, Sophie dropped her chin. It’s not like she had lied to Mr. Mathison. She just hadn’t made it clear she was a woman. Besides, according to Tyson, it wasn’t an enforced regulation but rather an off-hand comment Jack had made that he would never again take another woman into the jungle.

Tyson hadn’t given her many details about Jack’s broken engagement, but explained it had left Jack a little bitter and untrusting of women. More recently, a woman Jack had met while guiding a team of doctors and nurses into the jungle had betrayed him. They had only gone out a few times, but Jack had caught her cheating with a married doctor. Then she had threatened to sue Jack for sexual harassment if he said anything to the doctor’s wife, who had usually accompanied her husband on other expeditions.

Legally, Jack couldn’t expressly forbid women on his tours, but he could personally decline his services to anyone. Tyson had hinted that it might be a good idea for Sophie to not disclose her gender to Mr. Mathison until she was in Costa Rica. Once she was there, Tyson didn’t think Jack would refuse her.

Sophie had agreed and justified her deception by telling herself her mission was to find her missing father. And of course she wasn’t romantically interested in Jack Mathison. Even after seeing his picture, Sophie knew she wouldn’t develop any kind of feelings for her guide. She already had her hands full with Peter and her father’s disappearance. So when Sophie had exchanged emails with the man, she had always signed them simply as Dr. S. Kendrick.

“I’m sure it won’t be a big deal, Sophie.” Camille laughed. “In fact, after Tyson talked to Jack, he thinks you’ll be good for the guy and can help him overcome the low opinion he has of women right now.”

“How can I help?” Sophie asked in bewilderment.

“Well, according to Tyson, you’re one of the nicest people he has ever met.”

“He just thinks that since I stitched the cut on his hand for free and gave him pain pills.”

Camille smiled. “Tyson also said Jack isn’t involved with church anymore. He’s hoping you can light a fire in Jack’s faith.” One of her eyebrows rose. “Personally, I hope he lights a fire in you.”

“Stop it. He’s going to be my guide. Nothing more.”

“Oh, I wish I could go with you,” Camille said, letting out a squeal that sounded like some of the teenage girls in the youth group Sophie mentored each week when they were talking about boys. “Once you meet Jack, you have to promise to text or email me what happens.” Camille reached out and snagged a brownie for herself. “While I’m home chasing four kids under ten years old, you’ll be roughing it with some tortured hot guy in the Costa Rica jungle.”

“Hopefully I’ll also find my father.”

Camille’s enthusiasm tapered off and her eyes sobered. “I’m sorry, Sophie. I shouldn’t be making light of this trip. I pray you will find your dad alive and well.”

“Me too,” Sophie whispered. “Me too.”

* * *

The timer on the oven buzzed and Sophie glanced nervously at the clock. Peter would arrive any minute now. Opening the oven door, she grabbed a couple of hot pads and pulled out the homemade chicken pot pie, placing it on top of the stove. It was his favorite meal, and she hoped it would help soften the news of her departure for Costa Rica tomorrow.

Peter had been very busy the past couple of weeks, going on several business trips. Sophie probably could have found an opportunity to tell him during that time, but she honestly didn’t want to have to defend her reasons for going to Costa Rica and then have Peter use his attorney skills to try and talk her out of it. The trip had miraculously come together quickly and she couldn’t afford to lose the window of opportunity.

She had also decided to give Peter back his ring. It wasn’t fair to make him believe she would accept his proposal anytime soon, not when she didn’t love him the way she wanted to. Besides, she couldn’t make such a serious decision until she had resolved her father’s whereabouts.

The doorbell chimed, and Sophie’s stomach twisted with apprehension. She drew in a deep breath and crossed the living room floor. Praying Peter would understand, she opened the door. He looked impeccable, wearing a pair of tan chinos and a fitted polo. He held out a dozen red, long-stem roses.

“Oh,” she said, accepting the flowers. “They’re lovely. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.” He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. “Mmm, you’re wearing the strawberry stuff, right?”

On occasion, Peter would try to guess what lip gloss flavor she had on, but he had never once gotten it right. “It’s actually watermelon,” Sophie said, unable to look him in the eye. She held up the roses and took a step back. “Let me get a vase for these.”

She went into the kitchen to look for a vase. There were quite a few to choose from since Peter frequently gifted her with flowers.

“Boy, something sure smells good,” Peter said, coming in behind her.

“I made chicken pot pie.” She filled the vase with water and arranged the flowers in it.

After she placed the roses in the center of the dining room table, Peter pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you for making me dinner.” Then he kissed her again.

Sophie tried to lose herself in the kiss, but all she could think about was getting dinner on the table and giving him her news. No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t feel that stop-your-heart-can’t-breathe kind of love.

She had planned on telling him after dinner, but the way Peter gazed at her, she had to tell him now. Sophie didn’t like hurting people. As a doctor, she’d tapped into her natural tendency to nurture and heal. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do. Yet, continuing to date him, knowing how she felt for him, was anything but nurturing.

Anxiety looped a knot in her stomach as they sat down at the table. “Before we eat… there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

His eyes dipped down as he reached for her left hand, running his thumb over her bare finger. “What is it?” he asked, bringing his gaze back to hers.

“I need to find out what happened to my father. I can’t sit around any longer, hoping to hear something.”

His eyebrows drew together with concern. “What do you have in mind?”

“I want to visit the village he was last living in.”

“Wow.” He let go of her hand and sat back. “Sophie, I don’t think that would be wise. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I told you I would find a private investigator.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m sorry I didn’t get right on it, but I’ll text my assistant to start looking for someone right now.”

His objection was something she had expected, but whether or not Peter agreed with her, she was going to Costa Rica. She also knew it was the right thing to do.

“I can’t wait that long. I know I should’ve talked with you earlier, and I’m sorry that I didn’t, but I’ve already made arrangements, and I’m leaving…” She paused. “I’m leaving in the morning.”

Shock registered on his face. His eyes flashed with anger as he abruptly scraped his chair back and stood up. “You’re leaving tomorrow and this is the first time you’ve bothered to mention it?”

While his anger was understandable, it still made her feel defensive. Rising from her seat, she moved behind the chair and gripped the top of it. “I said I’m sorry, Peter, but I don’t need your permission to go.”

He pressed his mouth into a tight line and took a couple of deep breaths. “I know you don’t need my permission.” His voice was clipped, as if he could barely contain his ire. “I do, however, think you could’ve been more considerate of my feelings and talked it over with me.”

She winced, knowing he had a point. “I’m sorry. I agree that I should’ve talked to you.”

“Yes, and if you had, I could’ve told how futile your trip will be.”

Ah
. There was the Peter she knew and tried to love.

“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I don’t need to hear how hopeless you think it might be. It’s not your father who’s missing.” Her bottom lip quivered and tears stung her eyes. “Mine is, and he’s all the family I’ve got. I’m all alone.”

Peter’s jaw tightened. “You’re not alone. You have me.”

“But I don’t have my dad.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She and her father had been at odds as far back as she could remember. They had clashed over everything from what language she was learning in school to what kind of doctor she had wanted to become. Still, despite their differences, she loved him.

“I know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So, what
is
your plan?” He shook his head and gave a short derisive laugh. “How are you even going to find him?”

“The university gave me the GPS coordinates for the last village he was known to be living at.”

“Sophie, this is crazy! How are you even going to do this? The jungle is a dangerous place.”

“I’ve hired a guide.”

He looked down at her through narrowed eyes. “Like the man you paid to find your dad? What if this guy takes the money and leaves you stranded somewhere in the jungle?”

“He won’t. He’s a…”
Believer?
She couldn’t truthfully say that, not after what Tyson had said. “…good guy, and Camille’s brother knows him from college when they both served a youth service mission in Costa Rica.”

“Surely,” he said in a condescending tone, “you aren’t naïve enough to believe that will make him an upstanding citizen.”

His sarcasm was uncaring and belittling. “Peter, I’m tired, and I have to get up very early in the morning. I’ve made my decision, and any argument you have won’t change my mind.”

For several seconds, he stood there watching her, his chest rising and falling with slow, deep breaths. Finally he said, “I’m not happy about this, and I still think you’d be better off hiring more investigators, but, like you said, anything I say won’t change your mind.”

Sophie briefly closed her eyes, relieved their argument was over, and glad she was leaving in the morning so Peter wouldn’t have a chance to start the dispute all over again.

Knowing she had one more thing to address—his marriage proposal—Sophie met his gaze. She had wrestled with her decision all week, but knew that marrying Peter primarily to inherit his incredible family wasn’t fair to him, or to her, for that matter. Peter deserved to have a wife who was passionately in love with him. Likewise, Sophie wanted to be passionately in love with her husband. Besides, now that she was going to church again, wouldn’t her chances of finding a faithful man with the same type of close-knit family Peter had go up considerably?

“Peter, there’s one more thing we need to talk about.” She swallowed, and forced the words out. “I care for you, but I don’t love you—at least not in the way you want me to.” She ignored the shocked look on his face and withdrew the black velvet ring pouch from her pocket. “And not in the way that I can accept this. I’m sorry I waited so long, but with everything that has been going on with my father, I haven’t been able to think clearly.”

His eyes flickered down to the velvet pouch, then back up to her. “That’s just it, Sophie. You haven’t been able to think clearly, and I should’ve realized that before asking you to marry me."

Before she could say anything, he came around the table, pulled her to him and hugged her tight. He edged back just enough to lower his head and kiss her.

“I love you,” he said, pulling back to gaze into her eyes. “And I think you love me too. We’re good together, but I understand why you can’t give me an answer right now.” He took the velvet pouch from her. “I’ll hang onto this for now. When you come home and you’ve had a chance to sort everything out, let’s see where we stand. Christmas is coming soon, and I’d like to announce our engagement.”

Her head was spinning with confusion. This was not at all the response she had been expecting. Sophie nodded her head, not even sure what she was agreeing to. When she returned from her trip, she hoped to have answers about her father’s whereabouts and, in turn, an answer for Peter. Time away from him would give her an opportunity to analyze her feelings more thoroughly.

The rest of the evening was subdued, and she hardly slept that night. By the time the sun crested the eastern mountains, Sophie had boarded the plane for Costa Rica.

Chapter Three

The
air, thick with humidity, dampened Jack Mathison’s shirt as he carried a large duffle bag and placed it with the rest of the gear that was waiting to be loaded into his Jeep. “Hey, Hector. I need to take a shower. Would you please go to the airport and pick up Dr. Kendrick?” Jack tossed his friend the keys.

Hector Garcia, dressed in camouflage pants and an army green tee, caught the keys. “
Sí
, but how will I know what this gringo looks like?”

While the excursion into the jungle had come together quickly, Jack wasn’t sure how he’d failed to find out what the man looked like or how to identify him. He shrugged. “I have no idea. Just look for an American that’s about my age.”

Hector glared at him. “Are you
loco?
The airport will be crawling with Americans.”