Authors: Renee Miller
Someone knocked on the door, quiet at first and then thundering, rattling the walls. Kristina opened her eyes, immobile on the couch, and waited for them to go away. The knocking stopped and she relaxed, snuggling back into her blanket. She’d showered until the hot water ran cold and emerged shivering, her skin pink except for the bruises covering her body. Then she lay on the couch and stared at the blackened television until she drifted into a dreamless sleep.
“Kristina!” the pounding on the window and the sound of her name forced her upright. She stared an instant. Michelle. She’d called Michelle.
“Shit.” Kristina ran to the door and opened it. Michelle came around the side of the house, her mouth set in a thin line. “I know I took a while, but come on.” She smiled and Kristina tried to return it, though it felt weak. “Hey, what the hell happened to you?”
Kristina stepped forward, eager for friendly arms around her. She collapsed in Michelle’s embrace, her chest wracked by sobs.
When she calmed down somewhat, Michelle held her at arm’s length to stare at her, eyes wide, and reached out to touch the bruise on her jaw. “Did someone break in?”
“No, Daniel came over.” Kristina’s voice sounded small, she wanted to sound angry, but instead her voice was meek, defeated. She felt defeated.
“Did you call the cops?”
“No, the last time I called the cops they charged him, he cried and the judge ordered him to take some classes and then he put me in the hospital. The time before that, he broke my arm. They never do anything. If I called them over this he’d get a slap on the wrist, maybe some jail time, and then he’d get out and make me suffer for it.”
“Did he—”
“Beat me? Yes and then he almost raped me. I should be used to it by now, I mean it’s not the first time, but I’m too much of a coward to do anything about it.” Kristina walked to the couch and sank down, pulling the blanket over her knees. She stared at her hands, hating the way they trembled.
“He tried to rape you?” Michelle walked over and sat on the coffee table. Her brown eyes wide, she leaned forward and reached for Kristina’s hands.
“But he didn’t in the end. Not this time anyway. I shouldn’t have called you, I just panicked. I called Wade but he didn’t answer and I had to talk to someone.” She shrugged.
“So, you are involved with Wade. You silly thing. Somehow I knew it.”
Kristina lowered her gaze to their piled-up hands.
“Why would you call Wade anyway? You think he’ll do something about Daniel? I doubt it. Guys are guys. I bet the only thing that really matters to Wade is his hide,” Michelle snorted and leaned back.
Her thoughts had been jumbled before but now that she’d gotten some sleep and calmed down, everything was clear. Calling Michelle had been a mistake. She’d panicked because of her fear and longed to unburden herself on her only friend.
“Want to tell me about it?”
Kristina cleared her throat. “I don’t know where to start.”
Michelle’s mouth twitched. “Try at the beginning.”
Over the next two hours, Kristina opened her heart to Michelle, telling her about her trepidations about Wade and the snatches of happiness she’d enjoyed with him. She told Michelle about Wade bringing the box for safekeeping in the basement, but didn’t elaborate about its contents.
Michelle sighed and Kristina looked up, following her gaze to the window. The sun was setting, splashes of lavender and orange filled the sky beyond the green bridge. Light reflected off the water, the colors rippling on its black surface. She used to love watching the way the colors melted into one another but couldn’t remember the last time she took a moment to see it. At least, not since she married Daniel. She made a note to sit with Cadence and enjoy as many sunsets as she could once this shit was over. The three of them, Kristina, Cadence and Wade, would enjoy every single one forever. Her chest tightened as she thought of Wade. She hoped he would be there with them, but nothing seemed certain anymore.
Michelle cleared her throat, bringing Kristina’s thoughts back to the present. “So, did Wade pick up the box?”
“No, it’s still here.”
“Do you want me to take care of it? I could dump it somewhere,” Michelle laid one hand on Kristina’s knee as she spoke. “You can’t trust them, honey. I know what they’re like. Amy pretended to be my friend once, and that got me into some hot water. Wade’s no different.”
Kristina smiled at her friend’s offer, suddenly feeling less lonely. “No, I’ll wait for him to come and get it. I told him I’d keep it and I will. You could be in trouble too and that’s not fair. You’re the only other person who knows about it anyway,” she bit her lip, thinking of Amy. “It’s fine where it is.”
Michelle leaned forward and ran her fingers through Kristina’s. “You’re being silly and naïve. What if he doesn’t come back? What if Amy finds out about you guys?”
“He’d be here if he could. I know he would. And Amy already knows.”
“I would hate to think he’s feeding you bullshit and you’re eating it right up. Perhaps you should get with reality, Kristina.”
“I think you’re wrong.” Kristina crossed her arms over her chest.
“Did you even look inside the box?”
“No, I didn’t,” she lied, suddenly wondering about Michelle’s interest. Most of her questions had something to do with the damn box. Curiosity?
“There may be important things inside. Maybe illegal things. Doesn’t it bother you he didn’t want it at his home?”
In her friend’s
eyes, she found an ocean of concern. Michelle was worried, and the realization dispelled her fears. Kristina leaned over and hugged her. “No, and I’m not going to look either. I trust him.”
Amy paced the length of the patio doors, ignoring the sunset and its glorious display of color. She pulled on her cigarette and flicked the ash on Wade’s favorite rug. After darting a glance at the silent phone, she crossed over to the built-in bar in the corner of the living room, dropped a few ice cubes into her glass and drowned them in gin.
The telephone rang.
Amy jerked, the cherry of her cigarette grazing the hand holding the glass.
“Fuck!” She jumped back as the heavy cut glass shattered on the floor, liquid splattering her jeans. Giving wide berth to the glass shards, she hurried to catch the phone after its third ring. “Hello?”
“She has the box,” the voice sounded ragged, as if its owner had been running.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I am. She’s just told me.”
“You’ve seen it?” Amy opened a small drawer on the telephone stand and rummaged for cigarettes and a lighter.
“No, but she says Wade left it in her basement.”
Amy watched a catlike smile on the face reflected on the pane of glass. “Thanks. I owe you, Michelle.”
Silence.
“Yes?”
“What about our deal?”
“Ah, that—you’re right, consider your debt settled.” Amy ended the call. Instead of replacing the receiver in its cradle, she took a deep drag of her cigarette, flicked ash on the rug and punched a local number.
***
Sleep proved elusive for Kristina. She spent the night dozing at intervals—but waking with a start as dreams tormented her—and gave up when the sun brightened the living room, teasing her eyelids until the headache that threatened most of the night finally exploded.
She groaned and sat up, rubbing her eyes and then stretching. Good thing she’d agreed to let her parents take Cadence, the thought of having to do all the things her daughter would demand made her cringe. Besides, she didn’t want her daughter around the mess she’d created. She stumbled to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Welcoming the dim light of the small room, her headache subsiding just a little, she padded to the counter and pulled the coffee maker from the wall. As she turned to the sink, something caught her eye. She paused, leaning toward the door she squinted at it. Mud?
Kristina set the coffee pot on the counter and walked across the kitchen for a closer look. Definitely mud, but just a clump of it, no tracks across the room, and dark like the dirt in her backyard. She frowned and checked the door. It swung open. Hadn’t she locked it?
Her gaze went around the room, settling on the blue recycling container next to the door. She laughed at herself. Of course, before Daniel’s visit, she’d brought the box in from the curb yesterday. Heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks as she thought of him. Shaking her
head, she forced the dark memories away. There would be time to deal with them later.
The mud must have fallen from the container when she brought it in. She hadn’t noticed and then she forgot to lock the stupid door. Smiling, Kristina turned back to the sink to finish making the coffee.
Either relax a little or suffer a nervous breakdown.
She also had to mop her floors again.
Puttering around the kitchen, making coffee and wiping off the counter and stove, Kristina hummed to herself. She’d stop this doubting; stop being afraid and move on. If Wade wanted her, he’d come back.
Shuffling to the sink to rinse the dishcloth, Kristina realized the past hours had triggered an epiphany. Her doubts and fears happened because she didn’t believe in herself. It had nothing to do with Daniel or with Wade and whether he’d told her the truth or not, but her ability to let someone love her.
Amy could rant and rave all she wanted; Kristina wouldn’t give her anything else. She had enough worries without adding someone who was simply bitter and angry to add to them. Wade would come and get the box when he could. Amy couldn’t touch them
The satisfying aroma of coffee brewing filled the room. She turned to the cupboard, and reached for a cup when the phone rang. Closing her
eyes, she set the mug next to the coffee pot, and ran to answer the phone.
The brightness of the living room—after spending so much time in the dull kitchen—startled her. She blinked. The ache in her head returned. Brilliant morning sunshine blazed through the window next to the couch. She made a note to get some blinds.
She picked up the phone. Wade’s voice barked in her ear before he had the chance to say hello. “Go and make sure the decorations I gave you are where you left them.”
“What?”
“The decorations. Make sure they’re still there.”
“Okay, just a minute.” Kristina set the phone on the stand and turned to the basement door.
The latch was still in place and she wondered why he suddenly thought it might not be there. If he cared so much, maybe he should come and get it. She opened the door, reached to switch on the light and her gaze fastened to a clump of dark mud on the second stair from the top.
“No,” she whimpered and hurried down the stairs. It wasn’t possible. I barely slept last night. Surely she would have heard if someone came in, especially if they’d gone down here.
The stairs creaked and groaned. The box should be…right on top. Shit. Stepping slowly, afraid of what she would discover, but not wanting to prove it, she walked down the stairs. He would hate her. He would hate her and then his friends would kill her.
Kristina reached the bottom and glanced to where she’d left the box. It wasn’t there. Hoping she’d remembered wrong, that she’d buried it, she moved boxes and bags tossing them across the dirt floor uncaring of where they landed or what was inside.
Her heart pounded against her chest and an ache ate away at her stomach. She turned, her eyes searching the cramped space, praying she overlooked it somehow. Her breath came in short gasps, suddenly she couldn’t get enough air and sweat trickled down her back despite the damp chill of the room.
Stilling her raging mind, she tried to think the situation through. She’d blurted about the box to Amy but didn’t give up its location. No, the idea was ridiculous. She wouldn’t have known where to look anyway. The dirt on the stairs could have come from her own feet she may not have noticed it before because she tended to clean in a haze. Who else could have taken it?
Daniel hadn’t come down to the basement, not since he’d lived with her, and she would have heard someone come into the house last night. So where the hell did it go?
A light went on in Kristina’s head. She forgot the trip to Toronto, when she took Cadence to Wonderland. She’d been gone overnight. Did she look down here after she returned? No, she didn’t. She’d come home and everything had gone ballistic on her. Daniel went nuts, the man…the man.
Would he have come back? She’d been certain he and Wade were friends or at least ‘associates’ after he left. He wouldn’t take it without telling Wade. Would he? A thought hit Kristina suddenly, one that angered and relieved her at once. What if it was all a setup? Did Wade come and get it or send the stranger here to pick it up? He must have. He was testing her.
Furious at him for stressing her out, but relieved to have figured out where the box was, Kristina ran upstairs and picked up the phone.
“When did you come get it?”
“I didn’t. Are you telling me it’s not there?” Wade growled and the menace in his tone irritated her.
“Wade, this isn’t funny.”
“Christ, I did not pick it up. I’m not joking. I told you to lock the damn doors. What is it with women? Do you have an allergy to fucking deadbolts?”
Kristina’s throat burned, her eyes moistened with tears. He had to have picked it up. It was the only thing that made sense, the only thing that didn’t imply she was a fool. The room spun, the walls bending and shifting toward her, and Kristina stared at the basement door, still ajar and the light blaring at her. She didn’t want to admit she forgot to lock the back door. He’d be furious, although he was pretty pissed already.
“I…uh, shit.” Kristina paused struggling to find a way to tell him about the door without sounding like an idiot. Wade said nothing, but she heard his breathing, heavy and angry. “I forgot to lock the door yesterday, and usually I’m so careful, but Daniel came over and he was angry and then I didn’t know what to do, so I called you, but you didn’t answer and I panicked.”
“What happened?” Wade’s voice sounded calm, but she knew better.
“I panicked. I’m so sorry, Wade.”
“What happened when Daniel came over?”
“N-nothing, he just got mad and—”
“Damn it Kristina! Stop covering for him. Did he fucking rape you again? I suppose you didn’t call the cops either. Jesus Christ, I go away for a couple of days and everything falls apart.”
“He didn’t—I’m sorry,” she murmured, not knowing what else to say. Guilt pressed hard against her heart. If she’d just trusted him, Daniel would have been gone long ago.
“Don’t apologize for that prick. I’ll take care of him. What about after I didn’t answer? Did you call the cops at all?”
“I—I called my friend.”
“Which friend,” ice crept into Wade’s voice.
“Michelle.”
“And?”
“I needed to talk to someone, you didn’t answer and—”
“Did you tell her about the box?”
A blinding light exploded in Kristina’s mind and she had to lean against the wall to stop crumpling down. “Well, yes but—”
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” The line sounded muffled.
Kristina held her breath as the silence lengthened.
“Go and check again. Maybe you panicked and overlooked it.”
“No, it’s not there. I’m sorry. I haven’t even gone down there since I put it there.”
“Okay, we need to think about this logically. It’s not your fault, honey. I’m sorry I got mad. I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. It was unfair.”
“No, I should have trusted you,” Kristina murmured. Wade was silent for a moment and she wondered if he heard her.
“The decorations are clean, do you understand? No one knows who they belonged to and they won’t be able to find out. Of course if you’re careful, you can deny ever having them. Unless you looked, and then it’s likely your prints are all over the bags. No, don’t deny you had them. Maybe you could say Amy brought it over or something and it said decorations so you opened it and... Shit, I don’t know. If this is Amy’s work, you can claim she’s lying and shift the blame to her but you have to make sure you don’t trip up. If it’s your word against hers, they have to prove otherwise.”
“Why Amy?” She clung to her last shred of hope, praying the name screaming in her head was only a figment of her imagination. It couldn’t be. “She didn’t know where to look.”
“Didn’t she? Don’t be so fucking naïve. You told Michelle. They’ve been friends, more than friends now that I think of it, for years.”
Kristina cringed at his words.
Michelle…
She really was naïve. Until now it hadn’t seemed like such a terrible thing.
“You don’t have to talk to anyone, got it? Just lay low while I figure out how to fix this.”
“Okay.” Kristina gripped the phone and closed her eyes. This had spiraled out of control and fast. She’d betrayed Wade, one tiny little doubt could send them both to jail and it was all her fault. And Michelle had betrayed her. Why? Tears burned her eyes and she sniffed.
“I love you. You know I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you, right?”
Her hands trembled and she nodded. “Yes, I know.”
Wade sighed and she felt his frustration in every muscle of her body. He still loved her despite this huge fuck up. Guilt gnawed at her belly for ever thinking he didn’t care.
Wade cursed again.
She flinched.
“This is Amy’s doing. She must have bribed Michelle to do it. Stupid bitch. Look, don’t worry. Who am I kidding? You’re freaking out. Just let me handle it. Everything will work out in the end. Okay? I’ll be in touch. I love you.” The line went dead.
Kristina stood, the phone to her ear and Wade’s words running through her head.
I love you.
It was time she earned his love.
***
“Bitch.” Wade cursed, running a trembling hand through his hair. He paced the small office and considered his options.
Sheila was due to open the bar any minute and he wanted to be out of there as soon as he handed her the keys. The Brothers had told him to lay low, to disappear until they’d solved their
little
problem. That had been his intention—after he picked up the box. Now what? He couldn’t disappear but how did he tell them? They had no clue how far out of control this thing had gotten. If Thomas knew how badly he’d fucked things up, he’d be in a landfill before next sunup.
Amy had stepped up her game; it had to be her. No doubt she had something big planned. Somehow she’d fooled Kristina and he’d bet money she had the box, but he couldn’t be sure what she’d do with it. Going to the police meant exposing her role in the Brotherhood over the years. Would she risk it?