Devil's Frost, Spellspinners Series #3 (The Spellspinners of Melas County) (10 page)

“It changes
everything
, Mother. Thanks for ruining my life.”

Slamming the book shut, I tossed it as far into the waves as I could.

Shaking, I stared at my hands. All my life I’d been told
they
were the monsters. Then later, that Logan was. When really it was me, always me, made of the devil’s frost.

Who knows how long I sat there alone sobbing, throwing fireballs, generally having a complete meltdown on the beach before I was calm and brave enough to quietly approach my darling Logan. He slept, his chest rising and falling with sleep, glowing with the remainder of the fire’s light—my perfect, beautiful Logan.

I choked back a sob, covering my mouth with my fist.

I should leave. Run away before he found out what I was.

Who I was.

It broke my heart to even look at him. But it shattered my soul to even consider tearing myself away from the only good thing left in my life. My best thing.

I fell to my knees a dozen feet away from him, resigning myself to the only thing that made sense: Logan could never know the truth.

What would happen when those beautiful eyes opened and saw me as I really was—half of the person who killed his parents, half of the man who’d abused him his whole life, half of the man he despised?

If I could, I’d scratch the darkness out of my heart and sift it from my blood. But what good would hurting myself do? The only thing I could do was fight. Fight the darkness. Rein in the good from Iris, from Frank, from Daisy—and push away the evil.

With Logan by my side, maybe I could. Maybe I could fight it.

Cautiously, I approached him. With shaky hands, I bent over and kissed his jawline. He stirred, rolled over. Faced the fire but didn’t waken.

I watched him for a long, long time. When I finally tore myself away, I went to check on Orchid. Her pulse was still strong, but she was out, still sleeping off the trauma. I kissed her cheek and checked her wounds, then whispered into her hair, “Thank you for not dying.” I crawled out of the cave and pressed my body into Logan’s back, curling my arms around his waist.

This time he rolled toward me and gently kissed my forehead, all warmth and melting ice. I moved my lips to his—afraid I might hurt him now that I knew what I was. I was a monster. I was a liar. I promised him with my body, with my lips, with the outpouring of love in my eyes, that I wouldn’t let this ruin me, ruin us—but inside, I begged for his forgiveness for being too selfish to tell him the truth. Too selfish to give him a choice to leave me.

I felt Jacob’s blood pumping through my body. I somehow knew his intentions. I was half devil—with only an inkling of what I was capable of. I tried to push away the anger and the aggression that’d been creeping up all day. That made me capable of killing Chase, of hating Orchid, of being tempted by Jude, manipulated by Jacob—but it was all here now, alive and growing—like I somehow knew it all along.

No wonder Iris told me not to look Jacob in the eye. She thought she could hide me if he couldn’t truly see me. Stupid, foolish Iris. The truth could never be hidden for long. Didn’t she know that by now?

My kiss on Logan’s shoulder was harder than I intended, more bite than kiss, and he groaned and looked at me half surprised, half amused. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “It’s just this day, I guess…energy to spare.”

“I see that,” he moaned into my ear. “Believe me. I’m not complaining.”

I pressed in to him harder, opening my mouth and bringing him inside me.

Logan thought it was his sweet Lily rolling in his arms, kissing him, loving him, when really it was half a devil in disguise—and I didn’t fight it. Couldn’t fight it. The sand under us spun and floated into magical particles, and the whole scene was alive with fire and wanting and dangerous secrets. Logan was finally mine and I wasn’t me. It was the ultimate punishment. “I love you,” he whispered into my ear as he fell, sweaty and spent on my chest. But whom did he love? Who was I now?

“I love you, Logan,” I said. “I love you so much.” And I did. I did.

After, I couldn’t sleep. I clung to him like I’d never let him go, burying my cruel secret deep in my soul like the journal buried deep in the depths of the sea. As my cheek rested on his warm chest, I traced his ink, his beautiful ink, and once he had fallen into a deep sleep, I traced the black tears, my tears, which fell against his skin. Black tears threatening to expose my dark secrets—promising to shatter everything I loved. I swiped them away, praying, hoping, wishing, concealing this part of me I hated from this boy I loved with the magic of a thousand moons, a secret that left me no choice but to wait out the darkness—and hope for the sunrise.

A warlock funeral is a desperate thing.

We don’t bury our own right away. Instead, we lay them flat on a stone tablet deep in the woods, like an offering. Except it isn’t an offering. Because there isn’t anything left to offer.

Dead magic.

Dead flesh.

We hover in the forest, watching.

And then we wait.

Perfumed smoke, ringing bells, a low chant awoke me slowly from a nightmare where, the Gleaning was over, where Lily had attacked me. In a cold sweat, I struggled to sit up, willing the dream away, but my hands were bound to a hospital bed with thick leather straps. I yanked on them. Hard. What in the world? Where was I?

Low voices mumbled in the hall outside the steel door. My head pounded, my muscles sore as I yanked on the restraints. I wasn’t getting out of here anytime soon, so I focused on their muffled words. “He doesn’t know anything.” That was Jacob’s voice. “I don’t think he even saw the doppelganger morph into Orchid. And in regards to Chance, he’ll think Lily did this on her own accord. He’ll hate her for it, and this will finally be done. We’ll go back to the way things were. The witches aren’t going to win this round, my old friend. You can count on that.”

So Orchid had shifted into Lily and taken her place at the Gleaning? She’d done that once, in the meadow with me, and now again in the Stones? Why would she do that?

“It won’t be that easy. From all reports, Logan loves Lily.” I didn’t recognize this second voice.

“What does he know about love? He’s a kid. Chance is the only family he’s known. When he finds out she slayed him in cold blood? He won’t forgive her. And we can move on with our plans.”

“And the spell?”

“He fought it, but I think it worked. The memories of his parents should be gone now.”

Jesus. It wasn’t a nightmare.

It was
true.

It all came back in a rush.

The Gleaning.

Fighting Lily. Realizing the witch killing me wasn’t Lily at all, but the lavender-ribbon-wearing doppelganger who’d already tried to screw everything up for us. Fighting her. Then losing. That was the last thing I remembered, her coming at me so hard-core, cheating, jumping levels, that I was powerless to stop her.

But what was this about Chance? Lily killed him? How? Why? She would
never.
I needed to get out of here, find her. Find out what happened.

The door squeaked open. I clamped my eyes shut. Jacob and the second warlock, whose body reeked of incense, entered. I thought they’d keep talking if I feigned sleep, so I held tight, fighting through the choking odor of the second creep.

“That Orchid, she surprised me though,” Jacob continued. “That kind of dark magic isn’t easy to channel. She’s a good one to keep in our corner. A witch to watch, so to speak.”

“Congression won’t stand for a murderer among us. They’re questioning her now. Doubt her outcome will be good.”

“Simpletons,” Jacob said, disgusted. “They are so bogged down by ancient Spellspinner rules, they wouldn’t accept a new idea if it banged them in the bazonga. Besides, Logan isn’t dead, so it’s only attempted murder.”

“Attempted murder, cheating at the Gleaning, dabbling with dark magic, infiltrating another witch? Congression would leap on even one of those charges, never mind four. The witch is in trouble.”

Orchid had done all that? It made sense. She had to be dabbling with dark magic to literally become Lily. The only other Spellspinner I knew who managed shifting was Jude. The bastard. I bet he was involved, too. Another puff of choking incense. My nose twitched. Shit.

“Shh. He just moved.”

Jacob’s voice went up a note. “Logan? Logan, son? Are you awake?”

Even though I wanted to sit up, yank on Jacob’s collar, and strangle him until I got some answers, I feigned a slow, confused awakening. “Where am I? What happened?”

Jacob’s eyes hooded with mock sadness as he patted my restrained hand and filled me up with a shitload of lies.

“After the Gleaning, after we brought you here to be cared for by our specialist, Lily murdered your brother Chance in cold blood. I’m sorry.”

I almost laughed. Who blurted out sentences like that? Really?

I wasn’t faking my shattered heart at the notion that my best friend might be dead, however. Jacob was likely lying about Lily’s involvement, but he looked like he was being truthful about Chance.

Jacob continued. “He’s been laid to rest on the slab on stones in the forest. We are waiting to see.”

“Can I go to him?” Before I could believe a word he said, I had to see for myself.

“When you are strong enough, son. For now you should rest.”

I cried out a guttural, angry sound. Adrenaline flooded me and maybe a little magic, too, and Jacob looked legitimately worried for his safety as my restraints unbuckled and I broke free. “I’m going.” Yanking out the IV that was pumping who-knows-what into my veins, I stood up, leaning against the bed for a minute so I wouldn’t pass out from the head rush. I was still wearing my torn pants from the Gleaning. Blood dripped from the spot on my forearm where the needle had just been, but I didn’t care. There were also strange circular burn marks on my chest, the results of whatever the witch doctor had done to heal me.

I had to get out of here. I needed to see Chance for myself. Find out if Jacob was full of shit or telling me the truth. If it was true—if Chance was dead—Jacob was dead. It was only a matter of when.

Jacob seemed to understand that I wouldn’t be stopped. He and the second warlock caught me as my knees began to buckle, but instead of putting me back into the bed, they assisted me out of the infirmary. Their help annoyed me to no end, but what choice did I have?

I watched from under peeling eucalyptus trees in the back of the clearing as, one by one, warlocks approached our fallen brother. I was still so weak from what happened in the Gleaning and warbled from whatever that witch doctor did to me afterward that everything was muddy—a blur of nightmarish details. My head pounded, my mouth was dry, and my body trembled under the thick wool blanket hanging over my shoulders.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Chance was fine not a few hours ago.

How could he be
dead
?

I’d been to several warlock funerals; all the deaths I’d been witness to had been from natural causes. The way the Gleaning worked, or was supposed to, no one ever died. Just depleted of energy and magic, enough to recover from later. I never in a million years thought I’d be at this slab of stone for one of my warlock brothers, never mind for Chance.

When it was my turn to kneel by the body, I’d see for myself if this were some trick of Jacob’s or if the unthinkable had happened.

“She did this. Slew your brother in cold blood.” Jacob stood behind me, his gnarled fingers curled around my shoulder like wet vipers holding me in place.

I flinched out of his grasp and tugged my hands through my hair. It was all I could do not to wring his neck. “Must’ve been a reason. Lily wouldn’t hurt Chance unless she had to.” I prodded a little. See what he’d tell me. What else could I do? I had to bide my time.

“Revenge? Cruelty? What reason could she have, Logan?”

I stared at my friend, his large body, once so full of life, now so still on the slab.

I hated myself. It should be me up there, not him. I was the one who’d started things up with Lily. This was all my fault. My responsibility. I buried my face in my hands, scratching at my temples while Jacob rambled on. “The witches…they seem so innocent and lovely, but on the inside they are cruel, Logan. I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way. There is a reason we are kept apart. And this is the main one. Who needs this kind of pain?”

You. In order to keep our covens from being reunited.

I couldn’t see him, but his fingers on my shoulder twitched.

Of course he’d had a hand in masterminding whatever had gone down.

“One day, son, you will understand that everything I do is for the greater good of the Sons of Darkness. The greater good for you.”

I bit my tongue to keep from responding. If I ignored him long enough and didn’t engage, eventually he’d wander off. It wasn’t as much fun for him to kick a dog once he was down.

Sure enough, after a bit, his hand left my shoulder and he wandered off to join the other warlocks at the edge of the clearing. But first he stopped to pay his respects to Chance, kneeling on his left knee and kissing the top of his swordfinger. I cringed, wanting to pounce on him and kick his ass onto that same slab for doing this.

I couldn’t believe the things Jacob had said about Lily—I wouldn’t believe them until I heard it from her. Even if she had done this, there had to have been a reason. Lily wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially not someone close to us—and she knew how much Chance meant to me. More than a best friend, he was the brother I never had. The only person in my life who was always there for me. Whom I could talk to, confide in about my struggles with Jacob, and most recently about Lily. He trusted me. Loved me. Loved us all. And his potential as a Spellspinner was limitless. We all loved him. Even the assholes like Jude loved Chance. So why did it have to be him who paid the ultimate price?

The unfairness of it all consumed me as I watched his still body on the slab of stone. I unsuccessfully tried to swallow the lump of pain and sorrow in my tightening throat and swiped at a tear in the corner of my eye, digging at it with my knuckles.