Desperately Seeking Heaven (12 page)

She put one foot out in the road, one arm up in the air and a thumb and forefinger in her mouth, her whistle ricocheting off down the road. I smiled, grateful for having such a multi-talented sister. As the black cab pulled over a little way ahead, we broke into a run, eager to get out of the cold and into the warmth of the waiting car.

‘Sorry, girls.’ Two guys stepped out of the shadows and just ahead of us, one of them placed a proprietary hand on the cab door. ‘This one’s ours.’

‘I think not,’ snapped Lexie, barging the larger of the two men out of the way. I winced, wishing Lexie would learn how to pick her fights. The guy must have been at least 6’2”, was as broad as he was tall and had a ‘I’m seriously disgruntled, don’t mess with me’ look upon his face.

‘Alice?’ The other guy’s voice was incredulous, but unmistakably familiar. I swung round to see Damon standing there, noting the look of disbelief on his face as his eyes surveyed my exposed arms and legs. ‘Good grief. It is you! What are you…?’ He paused, shaking his head. ‘Never mind. You’ll catch your death dressed like that. Here,’ he said, slipping off his jacket and handing it over, ‘put this on.’

Oh no, he was the last person I’d wanted to bump into, especially when he was looking so suave and sensibly dressed and I wasn’t.

‘Damon!’ I said, tugging on my skirt to see if there was any way it would stretch to cover more of my bare legs, desperate to regain some decency. No such luck. I was about to reject his offer, but common sense got the better of me. ‘Thanks so much.’ I sighed, burying myself into the warmth of his wool coat, grateful that it swamped me a dozen times over.

‘You know these people?’ Lexie said with barely concealed disgust. She was still squared up to Damon’s friend, but had managed to manoeuvre herself into prime position for claiming the cab.

‘Um, yes.’ I laughed brightly, trying to defuse the tension. ‘This is Damon. We used to work together at Merron.’

‘Pleased to meet you,’ said Damon, smiling, offering his hand out to Lexie.

She attempted a smile, but failed, instead managing a friendly grimace.

‘Oh, and this is Phil, a good friend of mine,’ added Damon. ‘I must apologise, he’s not usually so competitive when it comes to hailing cabs, it’s just that we’ve already lost out on a couple of taxis to other party-goers this evening. We were getting a bit desperate.’

I smiled inwardly. He didn’t need to talk to me about desperation. This evening, it could have been my middle name.

‘Talking of which?’ Phil was eyeing the cab warily, looking like a man who wasn’t about to lose out on another ride.

‘Well, we’re going your way,’ said Damon, ‘shall we share this one? If that’s OK?’

We all climbed into the back of the cab and thankfully within minutes Lexie and Phil had forgotten about their earlier contretemps and were chatting away like old friends.

‘So, have you had a good evening?’ asked Damon, as we settled down next to each other in our seats.

‘Honestly? Dreadful. Really dreadful. We went to Planet 21.’

‘I didn’t have you down as a party animal, Alice.’

‘I’m not! That’s the point. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a nightclub and after tonight I hope it will be a long time before I have to go to another one.’

‘That bad, eh? So why go then?’

‘It’s a long story. We were hoping to meet up with someone, but things didn’t turn out quite the way we planned.’

‘Ah I see.’ He paused, looking at me through narrowed eyes. ‘No, scrap that. I don’t see at all. It all sounds very mysterious.’

We fell silent and my gaze drifted out of the cab window, transfixed by the hypnotic pull of the city’s lights. I was grateful for Lexie and Phil’s incessant chattering because I couldn’t find anything to say to Damon. My mind was too full of the events of the evening, the memory of being locked in Jimmy’s embrace was uppermost in my mind and then meeting Donna, seeing for myself the evidence of her pregnancy, had unsettled me more than I could have imagined.

If I’d had any doubts that Jimmy wasn’t telling the truth about his relationship with Donna then meeting her in the flesh had completely quashed that doubt. I could see in her eyes she was lying. And the look we’d shared told me she knew I had her sussed, but it didn’t get over the fact that Donna was still very much pregnant and everyone believed that Jimmy Mack was the celebrity daddy.

‘Yeah, it’s going really well, thanks for asking.’

Damon’s voice interrupted my musings. I turned to look at him, his face coming into startling focus as an awful dawning realisation hit me hard in the chest.

‘Oh God, Damon, of course, how’s it going? I missed your leaving do, didn’t I?’ I scrunched up my shoulders wishing I could disappear into the depths of his coat and not come out again. ‘I’m so sorry. Things have been a bit manic for me these last few weeks.’

‘Men problems,’ Lexie piped up helpfully, before she returned her attentions to Phil.

‘I meant to text you and tell you I wouldn’t be able to make it, but it completely slipped my mind.’ I felt dreadful, absolutely awful that I hadn’t even bothered to send him a good luck text. What sort of person had I become? Since Jimmy’s all-consuming presence had taken up residence in my life there’d been little time for anything or anyone else.

‘Hey, don’t worry about it. I knew you’d come up with some lame excuse.’ The twinkle in his eye told me he was joking, but still it made me feel like the most despicable person sitting in the cab. My cheeks tingled with shame. ‘There’s a lot to do, starting up a new business,’ he went on, ‘but it’s very exciting. I’m working much longer hours, if that’s possible, but I’m really enjoying it. It’s a challenge and I love a challenge.’ He paused, a smile hovering on his lips as his gaze flittered across my face. ‘Anyway, I’m glad I’ve bumped into you because there was something I wanted to ask you.’

‘OK,’ I said curiously. Last time a man asked me that, it involved going to his own funeral and tracking down a pregnant celebrity glamour girl. What could I possibly have to fear from Damon?

‘I need some help in putting in some systems for the new business. I hate admin, it’s the bane of my life, but I reckoned if I got organised early on even I might be able to keep track of the finances etc. I wondered if you might be able to give me your expert opinion? A few tips. What do you reckon?’

‘Of course. I’d be delighted to.’ At least it would go a small way to making it up to Damon. And compared to all those other problems I had on my plate, a bit of admin would be child’s play.

‘Great. Perhaps we can meet for a coffee or something and talk through a few ideas. I’ll give you a call in the next week or so and get something arranged, if that’s OK with you?’

‘Sure.’

‘Hey, that’s a great idea,’ I heard Lexie saying, her voice barging into our conversation. I glanced over at her.

‘What’s that?’ I asked, shifting in my seat.

‘Phil suggested we go to the Irish Bar off the High Street for a nightcap. We’ll be able to walk back to your place from there.’

‘Oh, well I’m a bit tired. Maybe we could…’ I caught Lexie’s practised death stare as my voice trailed away. My heart sank. The only place I wanted to go was home to tell Jimmy all the news and then into the depths of my big double bed.

‘Hey, if you’d prefer not to, then don’t worry about it,’ added Damon.

‘Oh God, Alice. I’m not going out with you again on a Saturday night. You’re such a lightweight. It’s only 12.30, the night’s young.’

I gulped. The night felt positively ancient to me.

‘Of course she’ll come,’ Lexie said, making up my mind for me.

The way she was fluttering her eyelashes at Phil, I knew she’d never speak to me again if I backed out and after everything she’d done for me this evening, I felt I didn’t really have a choice.

Thankfully the bar was small, intimate and welcoming with big squashy leather sofas and subdued lighting. A much nicer atmosphere to the cattle market feel inside Planet 21. They even managed to come up with the mug of steaming hot chocolate that I’d been hankering after all night.

‘Oh, do I need this!’ I said sipping the creamy frothy layer from the top of the mug.

Damon pointed discreetly to my lip and I wiped away my foaming moustache with a smile.

It was after 2.30 am by the time we got back to my flat. While Phil and Lexie were busy exchanging numbers outside the entrance to my block, Damon and I stood there shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot in the cold.

‘Right, well, I’ll give you a call. Soon.’

‘Sure,’ I said, wishing Lexie would get a move on. This evening had gone on far too long already. I needed to get home to Jimmy.

Chapter Thirteen

‘Well,’ said Lexie, filling up a tumbler with water from the tap, ‘that wasn’t such a wasted evening after all. What did you make of Phil?’ She swooned exaggeratedly, flapping her hand in front of her face like an 18
^th-
century heroine. ‘I thought he was really cute.’

‘Yes, he seemed very charming.’ Well, he had from the little I’d had to do with him because to be honest Lexie had monopolised his attention. ‘Mind you, I suppose he was on his best behaviour having escaped a decking from you.’

‘Oh, that was just a misunderstanding,’ she giggled. ‘And I did apologise. Lots of times!’ She sat down on the sofa which would be doubling as her bed for the night, a dreamy look upon her face. ‘What about you and Damon, though? You seemed to be getting on pretty well.’

‘Yes, he’s a nice guy,’ I sighed, looking round, feeling strangely bereft that Jimmy hadn’t bothered to wait up. I was certain he’d be in his usual place on the sofa, wanting to hear all the details of our meeting with Donna.

‘Nice! Really, Alice, I worry about you at times. Damon is really hot and a great catch by the sound of things. You could do a lot worse you know. You could have given the guy a bit of encouragement.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ I laughed. ‘Damon and I are just mates.’ As if I had the time or the inclination for anything else at the moment. Jimmy was way too much of a distraction.

‘Sorry, Lexie.’ I stood up stretching my arms above my head. ‘I have to go to bed. I’m so tired. Are you sure you’ll be OK on the sofa?’ Normally she’d stay in the spare room, but I couldn’t turf Jimmy out when he’d taken it over as his own these last weeks. ‘There are extra blankets in the airing cupboard if you need them.’

‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. There’s every possibility I’ll be having very sweet dreams tonight,’ she joked. ‘Sleep well, darling.’

I tiptoed down the hall, mindful of not waking Jimmy, just pausing to peer round the slightly ajar door of the guest room. Seeing his familiar outline beneath the covers was always reassuring so discovering his bed was as pristine as it had been this morning, and more worryingly, still empty, I let out an involuntary cry.

‘Alice? What is it? Are you OK?’ Lexie was quickly beside me in the hallway.

‘It’s Jimmy. He’s not here. I thought he’d gone to bed, but…’

‘Oh, is that all?’ She ran her hands through her hair, which tonight was a fetching lilac colour, looking every bit as fresh as I was feeling weary. ‘He probably went on somewhere after you ran into him. Maybe he met up with some of his own type, you know,’ she giggled, ‘and they’re all down at the local ghoulies and ghost rave.’

‘It’s not funny. Jimmy hasn’t got anyone, but me. Where would he go?’ Admittedly, he had a habit of flitting in and out, making himself scarce when I had work or something else to see to, but he was always at home in the mornings and waiting for me again when I got in of a night. It was our little routine. Besides, it was the middle of the night. What on earth could he be doing?

‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ushering me into my bedroom. ‘He can’t come to any harm. It’s not as though anything terrible can happen to him because it already has. Ha ha! Think about it that way.’

I shot her a disapproving glance.

‘You’re not helping, Lexie. You’re really not helping. What if he’s gone?’ I sank onto the bed, my head buzzing from the enormity of that thought. My heart thumped loudly inside my chest, the back of my neck feeling hot and sweaty. ‘What if they came to get him while we were out?

‘You’re not making any sense, Alice. What if who came for him?’

‘The people up there. The heavenly authorities. Angels. I don’t know what you call them, but whoever it is who’s going to take him across to the other side. Perhaps now we’ve made contact with Donna and she knows we know the truth about what happened, Jimmy’s spirit has been released. Oh God! I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.’

I sank down onto Jimmy’s vacant bed, tears rushing to my eyes.

‘Well,’ she said, sitting down next to me and putting an arm around my shoulder, ‘that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Saves you a job.’

‘Lexie!’

‘No, I don’t mean it in a bad way, but you knew he had to go sometime and you were wondering how it would happen. Perhaps this way, it’s the problem sorted for you.’

‘Oh God, no,’ I cried, sobbing. ‘But I don’t want him to go. Not yet. There were things I needed to say.’ How would I ever manage without Jimmy? In such a short space of time he’d come to fill a huge hole in my life.

‘Stop it now.’ Lexie handed me a tissue from the box on the side. ‘We don’t know that he has gone, do we? I still reckon he’s gone out partying. Probably found some hot little ghostly chick to make out with. You mark my words, he’ll be back any minute now up to his normal antics. Freaking the friggin’ life out of me.’

I forced a smile. The flat, his room, felt strangely empty without his all-pervasive presence.

‘You’re tired and emotional. It’s been a taxing evening. Get to sleep and when you wake up, I’m sure he’ll be back.’

‘Do you really think so?’

‘I know so,’ said Lexie, kissing me on the forehead. ‘Now get to sleep.’

Exhausted, I took Lexie at her word and fell asleep there and then without any thought as to what Jimmy would do if and when he got home and wanted his bed back. When I did finally wake up I thought I must have only been asleep for a matter of minutes, but the alarm clock on the bedside table confirmed it was past ten the next morning. I shot up out bed with a start.