Desired: Loving An Alpha Male (19 page)

“What?!” he exclaimed and I quickly moved into the bathroom seeing he was about to explode. “Georgia?!” he called after me.

“Sorry, Drake. I have to pee.”

“Fuck!” I heard him exclaim just as I closed the door.

I did what I needed to and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I then decided, just to keep him waiting, to take a shower.  What I forgot to do is lock the door. Anyways, a few seconds under the stream and I heard him come inside.  He walked into the shower with this pissed off look on his face.

“If you weren’t pregnant, so help me, I would bend you over my knee and spank your ass!” he told me. 

Um… what was that?

“Turn around let me wash you.” I obeyed and all but passed out from how tender he was with me.  This brut of a man had a sensitive side. Who knew? Probably no one alive.

I started to chuckle.

“What’s funny?” he asked me.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

“Yeah right. Turn around,” he demanded, and, yup, I obeyed.

Once we got out of the shower, he held my hand and guided me into the bedroom, put lotion on my body and helped me get dressed before he dressed himself.  I did tell him I could get dressed myself, and he just grunted and ignored me.

Drake made me breakfast, and as I ate,  he was sitting next to me on his laptop.  He then made a call and actually found me a doctor.  I didn’t think he would get an appointment that day, but it seems I know nothing.  He hung up telling me we had an appointment that afternoon.

“Drake,” I called to him, got up and took his hand.  I led him over to the couch and sat down.  When he sat next to me, I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby. I was waiting for the right moment and quite honestly telling someone that you’re having his baby isn’t an easy thing. But I should have told you.”

He just nodded but didn’t say anything.  I took another deep breath and said, “The moment I found out, I panicked. I didn’t know what you would think of me, but I was more afraid of losing your trust in me.  I didn’t want you to feel like I trapped you…” He started to protest my last sentence, but I stopped him. “Just hear me out… I felt like I let you down. I don’t know much about you, and you don’t know much about me.  I didn’t want to stick you with this, with me.  I wanted you to be free to live your life.  That’s what I want to tell you.  You don’t have to…” I stopped talking because put his fingers against my lips.

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t you finish that thought.  I’m getting more pissed with each second that’s going by. First, Georgia, yes, you don’t know everything about me, but I hope you know enough.  I hope that you know I will not do anything I don’t want to.  And I mean anything. I can’t get tricked because I don’t give a shit.  I do what I want when I want. Secondly, I know more about you than you think.  I understand you were afraid, but I don’t want you to be, not with me.  I wouldn’t think negatively about you because I know you, I know your heart.  I know what you’re capable of and what you’re not. I’m as much responsible for getting you pregnant, if not more, as you. But baby, I’m a grown ass man.  I will take care of you and the baby. It’s not about obligation. I told you before I don’t do obligations. Whatever you need, you need to know that I have you.”

I should be thrilled. I should be excited, but I’m not.

Drake kissed my cheek and stood.  “Come on. I have some errands to run before we get to the doctor.”

A few days passed and Drake had kept his promise.  We found out I was just sixteen weeks, but we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby.  We got lots of pictures and heard the baby’s heartbeat.  I thought Drake would be shocked at that sound of the baby’s heart beating but he wasn’t.  He just told me he used to take his cousin to her appointments, so he’d heard Nya’s heartbeat before. 

Anyway, he’d been a saint to me. He catered to me, cooked me meals whenever I was hungry, and I have to say that’s a turn on in itself. This man can burn. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing; he’ll leave from wherever he is or stop what he’s doing, and cook for me, if time allows.  I tell him he doesn’t have to do any of this but one day he saw me struggling with boiling eggs and he banned me from the stove.  I can reheat in the microwave, but that’s it.

He rubs my feet if they’re sore, he runs my bath water for me and the sex… Oh my God.

We hang out all the time. Just talking about the baby and who he/she would look like. I mean things were great. But I had noticed something different with Drake that still had me on edge. So what’s changed you ask? It was in his eyes.  It was the way he looked at me that had me paranoid.  He continued to tell me that I was his, but I didn’t feel it.  I felt like he was faking. I feel like I trapped him with something that he wasn’t prepared for.

That smile that he used to always give me, I hadn’t seen in a few days.  He’d been in and out of the condo doing what, I haven’t a clue.  He worked at the club and came home smelling like smoke and alcohol and perfume. But I couldn’t say anything, right? I mean, he didn’t say that we were together, in a committed relationship.  He just said I belonged to him. That’s it.

I felt like there was a lot he wasn’t telling me. It wouldn’t matter if I asked him or not, he wasn’t going to tell me.  So I had come to the conclusion that I was going to find me a place to live. My father’s lawyer called me and told me he had money for me from my shares of my father’s company. He told me he would have a check waiting for me, but I asked him to wire me the funds and gave him the banking information.  I also told him to sell my shares of the stock to my siblings.  I now knew how much the stocks were worth so he need not bother with trying to cheat me.  He said he would.

So I had money.  I didn’t need Drake and his fabulous condo.  I could go buy my own car if I wanted to, so I didn’t have to drive his “monster.” Hell, I could buy my own monster. I didn’t need him and his glorious love stick either. I didn’t… Really… I didn’t.

I decided to pick the following day to tell him just him how much I didn’t need him.  I figured I’d tell him that night after we got back from dinner at his uncle’s place.

I loved being around his uncle and family.  I know it’s weird to say, but I did.  Angel was amazing, though every time he saw me, he hit on me. Drake always turned red with anger. Angel loved to rattle him.  Uncle Bruno always told me to sit next to him, no matter where we were. It’s not like he talked to me a lot so it was weird.  All the females of the family looked at me when he did this as if I’m royalty. I asked Drake about this, and he just said to me, “When you’re with me, you’re with me.”

Hell, I don’t know what the hell that means

Another thing is; he hadn’t told them that I was pregnant. Why? I hadn’t a clue.

I can’t cook as I stated, but I can organize the heck out of a table.  I can fold the hell out of some napkins too. And don’t get me started on centerpieces. I was organizing a flower centerpiece in the kitchen with Drake’s aunts and a few of his cousins who were actually cooking dinner for the night.  Drake’s family sometimes just gets together and eats.  Even though Thanksgiving was around the corner, they still gathered all the time to a smorgasbord of food to chow down and fellowship. It’s another reason why I loved being around them. It’s something that I never had and thought I finally did with my siblings.

One of his cousins, Maria asked me how Drake and I met. I didn’t want to tell her that I seduced him, so I just said, “He was actually my knight in shining armor when some creep wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s our Lincoln.” I turned to see Eddie come in the room.

He kissed his mother, aunts and cousins and looked at me, not very friendly, I might add. I should have been used to it, but sadly I was not.

“Not cooking Georgia?” he asked me.

“Not really my strong suit.”

“Wow, that has to be strange; an Italian man to cook for himself.”

I didn’t reply.

Suddenly a beautiful woman floated into the room, and I mean she floated. The whole room erupted in smiles, laughs, hugs and kisses. I sat back and looked at this woman that seemed to be a goddess.  Her black hair was glossy and flowed around her face. She wore a long sleeve sweater that hugged her curves and accentuated everything about her.  Her lips were pouty, and she had flawless skin as if the sun kissed her at birth.

Eddie introduced me as a friend of Lincoln’s. She didn’t acknowledge me. Instead, she said excited, “Where is Lincoln? I’ve missed him.”

Eddie smiled. “He’s in the den with Pops. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you.” The woman that I learned was Dominque, smacked her lips and shook her hips.

“Oh good,” she replied and left the kitchen.

Can I say I was starting to feel really sick?

I was quiet at dinner.  I barely ate what was in front of me.  I was too busy trying to keep my food from coming up and splattering all over the table, hopefully on Drake and this Dominque woman that kept touching him and fussing over him.

I swear I had never felt so out of place in my life.  I tried to play it off, but her laugh, or shall I say hackle, was abominable. She was overkill. Maria, who looked to have felt my discomfort, asked me, “So how do you like Philly, Georgia?”

I smiled at her. “It’s great. I miss the ocean and the sun, but other than that, it’s great. I may even plant some roots here and get my own apartment.”

I heard someone’s fork clatter to a plate.  Not sure if it was Uncle Bruno’s or Drake’s or even Angel.  He was sitting directly across from me, and I could feel his eyes on me.

But I think it was Drake’s because he asked, “What did you say about getting an apartment?”

Maria, oblivious to what was going on said, “She said she was going to get her own place, which I think is cool. I live in the city. I can show you a lot of great places to live.”

I smiled in her direction. I felt she really was sincere about that too. I smiled. “Thank you so much, I will take you up on your offer.”

“No, she won’t,” Drake said to his cousin.

I frowned. “Um, excuse me?”

“You heard me; you’re not going anywhere.”

“Oh, you think so, Drake?” I felt my face growing hot, and my ears started ringing. 

“Baby, we’ll talk about this later.” He went to touch me, and I moved my arm.

“Don’t touch me, and don’t call me baby. You know I hate that...” I caught myself and said, “I’m going to be sick.” I looked at Uncle Bruno. “Will you excuse me?”

He stood and pulled out my chair, “Of course.”

I stood quickly and instantly felt like I was going to faint. I gripped Uncle Bruno’s arm, and he steadied me. I smiled weakly.

“Georgia,” Drake called my name. Concern etched his face, but I wasn’t falling for his handsome face. 

“I’m fine, Lincoln.” Then I turned and left the room.

As I watched her walk away, I couldn’t snap out of the shock I felt. It was a complete slap in the face, something that I’d never felt from Georgia. First of all, she had never called me Lincoln in front of my family. 

The shock, however, soon faded. I stood and excused myself as well.

“Drake,” I heard. Knowing the voice didn’t sound like my aunt or grandmother’s pissed me off as hell.

“What did you just call me?” I said to Dominque.

She looked at me, then at my Uncle and Angel.

I helped her. “Is there something wrong with you?”

Defensive, she pointed to the direction Georgia went and said, “She just called you Drake. So I thought…”

I moved closer to her and said, “You’re not her. Don’t forget your place.”

“Lincoln.”

I looked at Angel. He nodded in the direction of Georgia, saying, “Go get your woman.”

I ran my hand over my head and walked out the room.

I tried the bathroom on the main floor first, but it was empty. When I moved to check upstairs, I found her with her coat on heading for the front door.

“Where are you going?” I asked her.  She didn’t turn around. “Georgia.” She got to the door, so I had to actually jog to get to her. “Baby?”

She turned around, and I saw tears in her eyes. “Stop. Don’t touch me. Do you call her that too?”

“Call who what?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me; it doesn’t suit you. You know who I mean. The perfect goddess with the perfect breasts and hair. You know the one that couldn’t keep her hands off you, the one with the most hideous laugh I have ever heard. I mean, goodness, I must have been stupid to stay here as long as I have.  God, if you two needed some privacy then you should have said something.” She moved close to me. “Is she why you are always out late at night? Coming home smelling like perfume? God, I’m such an idiot!”

“Wait. Hold on a second. You think there is something going on with Dominque and me?” I tried not to laugh. “Baby, please…”

“Stop calling me that. You call everyone that, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t. I’ve never called anyone baby but you. ‘Darlin’, yes. ‘Sweetheart,’ all the time, but ‘baby’… You’re the only one that’s ever been that to me.”

I thought that would satisfy her, but she just turned and headed for the door again.

Frustrated beyond belief now, I reached for her again. “What the fuck is going on with you?”

“Everything is going on with me. But you are the main problem.”

I stepped back from her, fucking floored. “What’s the problem then?”

“I want my own place.”

“Why?”

“Why?  Are you serious? Because I don’t belong with you, that’s why… There’s no reason why I should be with you.”

I moved on her. “I can think of one reason.”

She folded her arms. “Oh yeah? And what’s that reason? Because according to me, I can’t think of one.”

I frowned and slashed my hand across my neck. “It doesn’t matter you’re not going anywhere.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Lincoln. We’re not together.”

There it is…

“Is that what this is about?” I said to her.

She didn’t reply right away.  She just met my stare with hers. “Give me a good reason why I should stay with you?” she finally said.

I put my hands up in frustration. “Come on, Georgia. This is ridiculous. What do you want me to say?”

“God, you are the biggest idiot I have ever met and you are so blind.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them she moved closer to me until we were a foot apart. “I’m in love with you, Drake Lincoln. I love you with every part of me. It’s crazy, I know, and I don’t know how it happened but it has.  I love you… and it pains me because I don’t have a clue if you feel the same way. Do you? Can you tell me the same thing?”

Shit.

She watched me battle through a multitude of emotions, and not one of them was what she wanted.

“Georgia…” I started to say when I saw the tears fall. She closed her eyes and stepped back from me.

I moved forward. “Georgia, it’s not that simple for me… I… I care for you deeply. You know I do.  I’d do anything for you… but what you want me to say, I don’t know if I can.”

“I know…,” she whispered. “That’s why I need to go.  I can’t be with you and be in love with you if you don’t belong to me.”

“Damn it, I do belong to you, Georgia. I don’t want anyone else.  You’re who I want. You’re who I want to come home to, no one else but you. I don’t understand what more you want.”

She gripped her fists tight and held them up. “God, Drake, I want you to love me. It’s that simple. I want you to tell me that you are in love with me too. That’s what I want to hear. That’s what I need from you. I need to feel it.  I need to see it. I need to know.”

“I don’t know what that is… Do you understand that?” I replied to her, trying not to let my voice rise, but I couldn’t help it. “It’s easy for you but me… I don’t think I can give you that, Georgia.”

She started to cry and, shit, for the first time I couldn’t soothe her.

“I wish I never met you… I wish you had just said no, and, God, I wish I stayed my Black ass in Miami so I would never have known what this kind of heartbreak felt like.” She then turned from me and mumbled before she left, “I so need a timeout right now.”

I let her leave, feeling like the biggest asshole alive. I walked to my uncle’s study and grabbed his bottle of Scotch. I then walked out to the patio that sits off the study, turned on the outdoor tower heaters and sat down. I heard my “monster’s” motor rev up and skid off. Only Angel drives like that in my car, so that made me feel better, only slightly.

I was on my sixth glass and smoking my cigar when I felt my Uncle’s presence behind me. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes.

I needed a time out.

“Sorry about earlier,” I told him without opening my eyes.

“Your aunt saw the cupcakes you bought.  Everyone wants to congratulate you,” my Uncle told me.

I nodded but didn’t reply. 

I concentrated on the sound of my heartbeat and the flow of the smoke filling my lungs. I pulled a few times and held it for a few minutes before I slowly let the smoke flow. I hoped doing my favorite past time would soothe me, but it didn’t. I still felt like shit.

“What’s on your mind, son?”

I opened my eyes and took another sip of scotch. “I’m going to be a father.”

“Yeah, you are,” he replied. “It’s a beautiful thing.”

“Yeah, well, what if I told you I didn’t know if I’m built to be a good father? I don’t know if I can protect them.” I looked at my uncle. “I’ve been thinking about that ever since she told me about the baby.  I’ve been wondering if I could protect her and protect the baby. The shit I’ve done could come back to me at any point in my life, and I don’t want to bring that to them.”

“What have you been doing these past few days?”

I shrugged. “I’ve been meeting with the Russians, trying to get them off Georgia and her family if I can.”

“It sounds to me that you’re already protecting them.” I sighed, and he added, “Look, son, no one has an instruction book on fatherhood. It’s a ‘learn as you go’ kind of thing.  But one thing I know about you is how driven, dedicated, and fiercely loyal you are.  I know you can do this.  But it’s going to take the both of you.”

I sat up and looked down at my shoes. I didn’t know how this shit went south.  Two days ago, she and I were laughing on the couch, watching some dumb ass movie. She was laying on me, head up against my chest. I had my hand on her belly, rubbing it and thinking about how good this felt having her there, having her with me.  It didn’t matter that she was pregnant. It just felt right.

Yeah, well, why couldn’t I say that shit to her?

I shook my head and looked over at my uncle. “I fucked up.”

My uncle, leaning back against his own chair, feet up, said to me. “Yeah, no shit.”

I sighed, sat back and closed my eyes. My uncle asked me, “Do you love her?”

I shrugged. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“I read somewhere that if you feel that your world will end without her; if you can’t stop thinking about her whether she’s with you or she’s not; if you ache so deeply in your soul just thinking about her leaving you or being with someone else; if you would lose your mind over her, prevent anything and anyone from hurting her; if she makes you feel like you could change the world with just her smile, then, son, you know what love feels like.”

I looked at my uncle. “Reading up on your sonnets, Uncle?” I smiled.

He chuckled. “You find yourself doing crazy things when you’re in love.”

We sat there for a little while longer just smoking and drinking until I heard my car coming back. I stood, feeling the effects of every single drink and puff I inhaled.

“Make sure Angel takes you home.”

“Yes sir,” I told him.

I went in the house and said my goodbyes. I got a few hugs, but for the most part I got cussed out in, English and Italian, for not telling them Georgia was pregnant sooner, for being an ass and running her off.

Angel and I started for the car when my cell rang.  I thought it might be Georgia, but it wasn’t. It was my old contact from Langley.

“Do you have something for me, Mark?” I said into my phone.

“I sure do.  I have the information you wanted on Gregory Sayers Jr.  There’s nothing exciting going on that you don’t know about, except he called Gavin Diego a few months ago and again about three weeks ago.”

I stopped and stared at Angel. “Say that again.”

“Yeah, they called each other a few times and spoke for a long period of time.”

I moved my head side to side cracking my neck.

“Also, which I know you really want to know this… Gavin isn’t his real name.  He’s actually DeGavin Santiago.” Mark added.

I frowned. “Why does that name ring a bell?”

He berated me, “You are losing your touch, Lincoln.”

“Yeah, yeah… Just tell me.”

“DeGavin Santiago is a member of the Santiago crime family out of Miami, Florida.  He is actually the son of Don Luis Santiago, the family you asked me to look into for you because Eddie wants to do business with them. ”

“Fuck!”

“Yeah… he is also the cousin of the one you had me looking for in Cabo… Juan Vegas.” Mark replied.

I closed my eyes and sighed, “First thing I need you to do is get me the location of Greg Sayers.  Then find me the Santiagos and Vegas… I need all of those motherfuckers.”

“Will do… I want to let you know that Eddie, your cousin, has also spoken to Gavin Santiago. They actually just talked on the phone about an hour ago. But as it seems, they’ve been talking quite frequently.  Not on his phone but on some burner.  We’ve been taping some of the conversations they’ve had on Gavin’s end.  As it seems your cousin is trying to sponsor a coo.”

“Wait hold on.”  I signaled for Angel to get in the car with me. When we got inside, I turned on the car and put my contact on speaker. “Okay, what did you get on Eddie.”

Mark said, “Eddie has already been supplying the Santiago family with weapons.  He’s completed two deliveries so far.  The problem is the Santiago family is being looked at by the DEA.  Eddie isn’t trading under his own name, but he’s working under yours.  The DEA is building a case against you for multiple counts of gun trafficking and trafficking of women.  That’s what the cousin’s into, by the way.  He likes them exotic looking, sweet, and young.”

“Do you have proof about my brother?” Angel asked. I looked at him, and I could see the skepticism in his eyes; Déjà vu rearing its ugly head.

There was a pause in my car, and I said, “Tell him.”

I got a huge sigh, then we heard, “I have a lot of proof.  I have phone records, taped conversations about how much he hates Lincoln and can’t wait to shame him in front of his father.  I have pictures of meetings and everything.  I can email them all to you tonight.”

Angel gripped the steering wheel tight, but looking at his face, I saw that he was calm as the air before a storm.

“Yeah, send that info with the usual encryption,” I told Mark.

“What do you want to do about your brother?” Mark asked me.

“My brother?” I asked, eyebrows risen.

“Yeah, he has his hands in trying to shut down Vegas and the Santiago family, the trafficking side anyway.  You know he has a hard on about that.”

“Keep an eye on him and let me know if he makes his way down to Miami or any other place he shouldn’t.”

“Will do. Later.”

Everything fell silent. I could feel the rage coming off Angel, but I didn’t say a word.  We sat in my car for twenty minutes before my phone dinged. I looked at it, and my contact sent me Greg’s whereabouts.  He was at his office downtown.

“I have some place to be. You want to come?”

He looked at me, asking. “You okay to drive?”