Desired and Dominated (45 page)

Five Months Later

I never thought I would say this, but I really am the luckiest guy on the planet. I have the girl of my dreams, a job that I love, good friends, and a future ahead of me that I never thought possible. Flaming Embers are topping the charts, taking America by storm; Simon and I are talking, after months of fighting, and misunderstandings. In the end, it wasn’t me, but Sofia, who bridged the gap, and explained our lifestyle to him in a way that he could understand and accept. She’s a force to be reckoned with when she puts her mind to it, and when she decided that she’d had enough of his bullshit and ignorance, she let him know it! I am so goddamn proud of her.

Looking back now, I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out sooner. Maybe the timing had to be right, but the moment it all fell into place, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Dance.

Dancing saved the love of my life, so many years ago, long before I knew her. Then, when I finally found her, dancing broke her. The logical conclusion should always have been that dance would bring her back to me. And it did.

In the months following our breakthrough in the playroom, our relationship has gone from strength to strength. I’m not going to lie and say it was all moonlight and roses, whips and nipple clamps. That night was a new beginning for us, but we still had to fight, every single day, for what we have, and it was and is totally worth it.

Sofia has been clean for nine months, which is an amazing milestone for her. She started seeing a therapist, and has finally let herself feel all of the pain and sadness in her life, grieving the loss of her childhood innocence, the loss of ballet, and her attempt to kill herself. It’s been rough on her, but together, we’re working through it. After every session with her therapist, we sit down to dinner and discuss what she was talking about; sometimes there are tears, but mostly these days, there is joy. Joy in rediscovering who she is, what she loves, and where she’s heading.

It’s been such a privilege for me to witness her transformation these past months. She hasn’t self-harmed again, although I know the temptation is still there on the bad days. The difference now, is that she comes and talks to me when she feels the urge to hurt herself, and we work through it together. She’s been wrapped up in a cocoon of self-loathing and fear for so long. It’s hard to break free of that, but, seeing her emerge as a happy, healthy, strong woman, has been such an honor.

As a submissive, she’s wonderful. Knowing her better, knowing what fuels her, what has shaped her into the person I fell in love with, has really deepened our relationship. I’m better able to anticipate her needs, knowing what her triggers are. She’s more trusting of my decisions, and I’m learning to trust her again. There had been so many lies between us, so much deception. It’s taken me a long time to get over that, and take her at her word. Trust is a gift, and when it’s lost, it’s difficult to regain. I have to give her credit where it’s due though; she’s never questioned me, or been bitter when I’ve struggled to trust her. I think she understands what she put me through, and she knows that it took a lot for me, as a Master, to move past some of the things she’s done.

The incident with Marco, which still makes me feel sick to my stomach, should have been the end of our relationship. I don’t know another Master that would forgive such a transgression, but, in the end, it was my decision to stay and fight for her, for us. I can’t hold her mistake against her for the rest of her life, so I guess, it’s not just her that’s been on a journey of self-discovery.

I’ve spent so much of my relationship with Sofia, questioning myself, my decisions, and my place as her Master. Control has always defined me, and the loss of it threw me into a spiral of doubt. It’s taken me a while to realize that loving her isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength. She challenges me in ways that no one else ever has, forcing me outside of my comfort zone - which is exactly where I’m going to be this time next week.

Next Saturday is Sofia’s birthday, and I have a few surprises up my sleeve for her. We’ve been living together at my apartment since she got out of rehab, but it was never a conscious decision, it was more necessity than anything else, and that’s not really the way I wanted to begin our life together. I’ve been looking at apartments with my realtor over the past few weeks, and I’ve narrowed it down to three that I think Sofia will love. I’m going to take her to see them when we get back from L.A. and whichever one she chooses, will be our first real home together. It’s been hard keeping it a secret, but it’s a huge step for us, and I want it to be perfect.

I’ve been talking to Brandon about one of my plans for the last few weeks, and he’s been a huge help getting it all set up. I’ve been looking for a space for Sofia. Somewhere to call her own, somewhere to find her passion for dance again. I don’t know what she wants to do, but she would make an amazing teacher, or choreographer. I wanted a blank canvas for her to explore her options, and Brandon had just the place. He recently bought a building on the Upper East Side, which has a great space on the first floor. Perfect for a dance studio. Hardwood floors, wide open and spacious. I’ve had mirrors installed along one wall, and ballet barres fitted. I got Simon to organize a top of the line sound system through his club contacts, and I hooked it up with a new iPod fully loaded with music from every ballet I’ve ever heard of, and all of the contemporary bands and artists she likes. I even added in a sneak peek of the new Flaming Embers album, which I know she’ll get a kick out of.

My last surprise for her will be asking her to wear my collar. For a Master to collar his submissive, is tantamount to marriage. It’s a big deal, and I know Sofia will appreciate the significance of it for us. I didn’t want to go with the cliché of an actual collar. She has the most stunning neck, and I like it naked, and open to the caress of my lips. Plus, I don’t need for everyone to see it. It’s for Sofia and I. No one else. I decided on understated elegance; a perfect match for my stunning submissive. I had a set of custom made platinum bracelets made for her. Each is padlocked, and they can be connected to restrain her at any time. She won’t be able to take them off without the key, which I will keep possession of. To anyone else, they will look like delicate, beautiful, intricately designed bracelets. Only we will know their true meaning. I’m having the inside of each bracelet engraved. The first one will read:

To my darling Nyx, You are mine

The second bracelet reading:

And I am yours. Always, Master Callaghan

They should be ready when we get back to New York next week, and I’m planning to give them to her on her birthday. I think she’ll love them, and I can’t wait to see what they look like on her dainty little wrists. I also plan on testing them out at her birthday party, seeing how well they work when they’re joined together, restraining her. It makes me hard just thinking about it.

Sofia appears in the doorway looking breath-taking in a simple fitted white t-shirt and jeans. The picture of subtle sophistication. “What are you thinking about? You have that look in your eye.”

“And what look would that be?”

She slinks towards me, mischief in her eyes. “The one that says you’re thinking very naughty…very dirty things about me.”

“You know me too well, Nyx. Clearly, I need a better poker face.”

She makes herself comfortable in my lap, wriggling around, well aware of what she’s doing to me. “I like that I know when your filthy mind is at work. It’ll make it all the sweeter on our flight today. Especially as I’m not wearing any underwear. Something to think about.”

She moves to stand up, but I pull her back down against me. “You realize that I didn’t give you permission to go out in public without any panties on? That means I’ll have to punish you.” Her breath hitches and I know she’s aroused at the idea. “So, now I have a dilemma. Do I bend you over my desk right now, and spank your naked little ass until it’s a pretty shade of pink, and enjoy the fact that you won’t be sitting comfortably on our flight.
Or
, do I leave you sans panties, and let you travel with the anticipation of how I’m going to tie you up and punish you in our hotel room in L.A? Decisions, decisions.” She’s squirming now, and I know exactly what she wants, and I’m more than happy to oblige. “L.A. it is. Just know, that whatever your dirty little mind can come up with today, it’s going to pale in comparison to what I’m actually going to do to you tonight. Now go and grab your bag. We need to get going.”

She has a smug grin on her face, getting exactly what she wants. She loves the anticipation; the sweet torture of it all. It makes the final release all the more intense. She stands to leave, but I hold her in place. “Stand still.” I dip my hand down the front of her jeans, feeling her smooth, soft, warm skin; pushing my fingers against her folds. “You’re wet, Nyx. Why are you so wet?”

I remove my hand, leaving her wanting more, when she pulls my fingers up and into her mouth, tasting her own arousal. “Mmmm. Because everything about you turns me on, Master Callaghan. Your body, your face, your voice, the way you smell, the way you make me come, and the way you punish me in such…delicious ways.”

I slap her on the ass and send her on her way, looking forward to five days of sun, sex and sounds. If everything goes well with the band we’re going to see, they’ll be the support act for Flaming Embers’ next tour.

Before we leave, I make a point of going to the playroom, and packing a little something extra for our trip. After all, I have a punishment to administer tonight. This is going to be an unforgettable trip!

“They totally killed it! That was amazing. You
have
to sign them.”

“They were pretty great, and they’re keen to work with me, so it could be a good fit all round. But, before I do anything, I want to go and hang out backstage with them, get a feel for their dynamic, and their lead singer, Josh. They’ll be going on tour with Campbell and the boys next year if this works out, and I want to make sure that there won’t be a clash of personalities.”

“Then let’s go and meet them!” She’s almost giddy with excitement tonight, her earlier exhaustion from our afternoon…activities, a distant memory.

As soon as Josh sees us, he excuses himself from the throng of women that surround him, wannabe groupies of a potential rock star in the making. He extends his hand to me. “You must be Nate Callaghan. We’re psyched that you’re here. Thanks for giving us a chance. And who is your beautiful guest?” I squeeze his hand a little harder than necessary, letting him know that she’s off limits.

“This is my girlfriend, Sofia. I’m well aware that she’s beautiful; I don’t need or want your comments on the subject.” I can see she’s amused by me; trying not to all out laugh at me right now, but she knows that I would most definitely punish her for it, and not in a fun way.

She holds out her hand, and when he takes it, she diffuses the tension in seconds. “Hi Josh. I’m Sofia. Nate’s girlfriend, possession and sex slave. Pleased to meet you. You guys were awesome tonight, really amazing.” He starts laughing, and misses her nudging me in the ribs. She was dangerously close to the truth and if anyone else had said it, it would have made the situation awkward, but not her. She has this way about her that people respond to. An air of innocence and a warmth of personality that is so endearing, and impossible to ignore. Everyone loves her, and it pisses me off, and it makes me so damn proud. I want her all to myself, and I can’t fault people for finding her as magnetic as I do, but I still want to throat punch any man that looks at her.

“Thanks. I was feeling the pressure with this guy in crowd, possibly deciding my future.”

I bring his focus back to me, and away from Sofia. “Well, let’s go and talk somewhere a little quieter. Dinner?”

“Sounds perfect. Can you give us half an hour to pack up and get our stuff back to my apartment? I don’t want to leave it here.”

“Sure. We can wait.”

“Cool.”

He disappears to find the rest of the band and I take the opportunity to sneak us into a quiet room backstage. There’s a few couches and a guitar in the corner, which she spies immediately. “Will you play something for me?” She picks up the guitar and brings it over to me, thrusting it into my hand. “Please? Campbell told me you have the best voice he’s ever heard, and that you’re a great player too.”

“I’m not the player I used to be. My hand doesn’t move the same way on the strings anymore.”

“I’m not going to be judging you on technique, Nate. I just find it weird that I’ve never heard you play or sing a single note. It’s been such a huge part of your life, of your story. I want to hear you.”