Denim and Diamonds (14 page)

Letty had no idea where she was going. All she knew was that she had to get away. She considered driving to town and waiting for Cricket, but it was still awhile before the kindergarten class was scheduled to be dismissed. In addition, Cricket was looking forward to riding the bus home; to her, that seemed the height of maturity. Letty didn't want to ruin that experience for her daughter.

As she drove aimlessly down the country road, Letty attempted to put the disturbing events of the morning in perspective. Leaving Chase, if only for a day or two, would be an overreaction, but she didn't know how else to deal with this situation. One moment she had everything a woman could want; the next it had all been taken away from her for reasons she couldn't understand or explain. The safe harbor she'd anchored in—her marriage to Chase—had been unexpectedly invaded by an enemy she couldn't even identify.

Without realizing where she'd driven, Letty noticed that the hillside where she'd so often sat with Chase was just over the next ridge. With an ironic smile, she stopped the truck. Maybe their hillside would give her the serenity and inner guidance she sought now.

With the autumn sun warm on her back, she strolled over to the crest of the hill and sat down on a soft patch of grass. She saw a few head of cattle resting under the shade of trees near the stream below and watched them idly while her thoughts churned. How peaceful the animals seemed, how content! Actually, she was a little surprised to see them grazing there, since she'd heard Chase say that he was moving his herd in the opposite direction. But where he chose to let his cattle graze was the least of her worries.

A slow thirty minutes passed. What Letty found so disheartening about the confrontation with Chase was his conviction that she'd leave him and, worse, his acceptance of it. Why was he so certain she'd pack up and move away? Did he trust her so little?

To give up on their love, their marriage and all the happiness their lives together would bring was traumatic enough. For her and, she was convinced, for him. But the fact that he could do so with no more than a twinge of regret was almost more than Letty could bear. Chase's pride wouldn't let him tell her he loved her and that he wanted her to stay.

Yet he
did
love her and he loved Cricket. Despite his heartless words to the contrary, Letty could never doubt it.

Standing, Letty let her arms hang limply at her sides. She didn't know what she should do. Perhaps getting away for a day or two wasn't such a bad plan.

The idea started to gather momentum. It was as she turned to leave that Letty noticed one steer that had separated itself from the others. She paused, then stared at the brand, surprised it wasn't Chase's. Before she left Spring Valley, she'd let Chase know that old man Wilber's cattle were on his property.

Chase was nowhere to be seen when Letty got back to the house. That was fine, since she'd be in and out within a matter of minutes. She threw a few things in a suitcase for herself and dragged it into the hallway. Then she rushed upstairs to grab some clothes for Cricket. Letty wasn't sure what she'd tell her daughter about this unexpected vacation, but she'd think of something later.

Chase was standing in the kitchen when she reached the bottom of the stairs. His eyes were cold and cruel in a way she hadn't seen since she'd first returned home. He picked up her suitcase and set it by the back door, as if eager for her to leave.

“I see you decided to go now,” he said, leaning indolently against the kitchen counter.

His arms were folded over his chest in a gesture of stubborn indifference. If he'd revealed the least bit of remorse or indecision, Letty might have considered reasoning with him, but it was painfully apparent that he didn't feel anything except the dire satisfaction of being proven right.

“I thought I'd spend a few days with Lonny.”

“Lonny,” Chase repeated with a short, sarcastic laugh. “I bet he'll love that.”

“He won't mind.” A half-truth, but worth it if Chase believed her.

“You're sure of that?”

It was obvious from Chase's lack of concern that he wasn't going to invite her to stay at the ranch so they could resolve their differences—which was what Letty had hoped he'd do.

“If Lonny
does
object, I'll simply find someplace in town.”

“Do you have enough money?”

“Yes…” Letty said, striving to sound casual.

“I'll be happy to provide whatever you need.”

Chase spoke with such a flippant air that it cut her to the quick. “I won't take any money from you.”

Chase shrugged. “Fine.”

Everything in Letty wanted to shout at him to give her some sign, anything, that would show her he wanted her to stay. It was the whole reason she was staging this. His nonchalant response was so painful that not breaking down, not weeping, was all Letty could manage.

“Is this what you really want?” she asked in a small voice.

“Like I said before, if you're set on leaving, I'm not going to stop you.”

Letty reached down for her suitcase, tightening her fingers around the handle. “I'll get Cricket at school. I'll think up some excuse to tell her.” She made it all the way to the back door before Chase stopped her.

“Letty…”

She whirled around, her heart ringing with excitement until she saw the look in his eyes.

“Before you go, there's something I need to ask you,” he said, his face drawn. “Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?”

His question seemed to echo against the walls.

“Letty?”

She met his gaze. Some of his arrogance was gone, replaced with a tenderness that had been far too rare these past few hours. “No,” she whispered, her voice hardly audible.

Chase's eyes closed, but she didn't know if he felt regret or relief. The way things had been going, she didn't want to know.

“I…went to the hillside,” she said in a low voice that wavered slightly despite her effort to control it. She squared her shoulders, then continued. “There were several head of cattle there. The brand is Wilber's.”

Chase clenched his jaw so tightly that the sides of his face went pale under his tan. “So you know,” he said, his voice husky and filled with dread. His gaze skirted hers, fists at his sides.

Letty was baffled. Chase's first response to the fact that she'd seen his neighbor's cattle on his property made no sense. She had no idea why he'd react like that.

Then it struck her. “You sold those acres to Mr. Wilber, didn't you? Why?” That land had been in Chase's family for over three generations. Letty couldn't figure out what would be important enough for him to relinquish those acres. Not once in all the weeks they'd been married or before had he given her any indication that he was financially strapped.

“I don't understand,” she said—and suddenly she did. “There wasn't any insurance money for my surgery, was there, Chase?”

She'd been so unsuspecting, so confident when he'd told her everything had been taken care of. She should have known—in fact, did know—that an insurance company wouldn't cover a preexisting condition without a lengthy waiting period.

“Chase?” She held his eyes with her own. Incredulous, shocked, she set the suitcase down and took one small step toward her husband. “Why did you lie to me about the insurance?”

He tunneled his fingers through his hair.

“Why would you do something like that? It doesn't make any sense.” Very little of this day had. “Didn't you realize the state had already agreed to cover all the expenses?”

“You hated being a charity case. I saw the look in your eyes when I found your welfare check. It was killing you to accept that money.”

“Of course I hated it, but I managed to swallow my pride. It was necessary. But what you did wasn't. Why would you sell your land? I just can't believe it.” Chase loved every square inch of Spring Valley. Parting with a single acre would be painful, let alone the prime land near the creek. It would be akin to his cutting off one of his fingers.

Chase turned away from her and walked over to the sink. His shoulders jerked in a hard shrug as he braced his hands on the edge. “All right, if you must know. I did it because I wanted you to marry me.”

“But you said the marriage was for Cricket's sake…in case anything happened to me….Then you could raise her.”

“That was an excuse.” The words seemed to be wrenched from him. After a long pause, he added, “I love you, Letty.” It was all the explanation he gave her.

“I love you, too….I always have,” she whispered, awed by what he'd done and, more important, the reason behind it. “I told you only three hours ago how I felt about you, but you practically threw it back in my face. If you love me so much,” she murmured, “why couldn't you let me know it? Would that have been so wrong?”

“I didn't want you to feel trapped.”

“Trapped?” How could Chase possibly view their marriage in such a light? He made it sound as if he'd taken her hostage!

“I realized that sooner or later you'd want to return to California. I knew that when I asked you to marry me. I accepted it.”

“That's ridiculous!” Letty cried. “I don't ever want to go back. There's nothing for me there. Everything that's ever been good in my life is right here with you.”

Chase turned to face her. “What about the fight you and Lonny had about your mother? You said—”

“I realized how wrong I was about Mom,” she interrupted, gesturing with her hands. “My mother was a wonderful woman, but more significant than that, she was fulfilled as a person. I'm not going to say she had an easy life—we both know differently. But she loved the challenge here. She loved her art, too, and found ways to express her talent. I was just too blind to recognize it. I was so caught up in striving toward my dreams, I failed to see that my happiness was right here in Red Springs with you. The biggest mistake I ever made was leaving you. Do you honestly believe I'd do it again?”

A look of hope crept into Chase's eyes.

“Telling me I'm free to walk away from you is one thing,” Letty said softly. “But you made it sound as if you wanted me gone—as if you couldn't wait to get me out of your life. You weren't even willing to give us a chance. That hurt more than anything.”

“I was afraid to,” he admitted, his voice low.

“Over and over again, you kept saying that you wouldn't stop me from leaving. It was almost as if you'd been waiting for it to happen because I'd been such a disappointment to you.”

“Letty, no, I swear that isn't true.”

“Then why are you standing way over there—and I'm way over here?”

“Oh, Letty.” He covered the space between them in three giant strides, wrapping his arms around her. When he lifted his head, their eyes melted together. “I love you, Letty, more than I thought it was possible to care about anyone. I haven't told you that, and I was wrong. You deserve to hear the words.”

“Chase, you didn't need to say them for me to know how you feel. That's what was so confusing. I couldn't doubt you loved me, yet you made my leaving sound like some long-anticipated event.”

“I couldn't let you know how much I was hurting.”

“But I was hurting, too.”

“I know, my love, I know.”

He rained hot, urgent kisses down upon her face. She directed his mouth to hers, and his kiss intensified. Letty threaded her fingers through his hair, glorying in the closeness they shared. She was humbled by the sacrifice he'd made for her. He could have given her no greater proof of his love.

“Chase.” His name was a broken cry on her lips. “The land…you sold…I can't bear to think of you losing it.”

He caressed her face. “It's not as bad as it sounds. I have the option of buying it back at a future date, and I will.”

“But—”

He silenced her with his mouth, kissing away her objections and concerns. Then he tore his mouth from hers and brought it to the hollow of her throat, kissing her there. “I would gladly have sold all of Spring Valley if it had been necessary.”

Letty felt tears gather in her eyes. Tears of gratitude and joy and need.

“You've given me so much,” he whispered. “My life was so empty until you came back and brought Cricket with you. I love her, Letty, as if she were our own. I want to adopt her and give her my name.”

Letty nodded through her tears, knowing that Cricket would want that, too.

Chase inhaled deeply, then exhaled a long, slow breath. “As much as I wanted you to stay, I couldn't let you know that. When I asked if you might be pregnant, it was a desperate attempt by a desperate man to find a way to keep you here, despite all my claims to the contrary. I think my heart dropped to my feet when you told me you weren't.”

Letty wasn't sure she understood.

He stared down at her with a tender warmth. “I don't know if I can explain this, but when I mentioned the possibility of you being pregnant, I had a vision of two little boys.”

Letty smiled. “Twins?”

“No,” Chase said softly. “They were a year or so apart. I saw them clearly, standing beside each other, and somehow I knew that those two were going to be our sons. The day you had the surgery—I saw them then, too. I wanted those children so badly….Today, when you were about to walk out the door, I didn't know if you'd ever come back. I knew if you left me, the emptiness would return, and I didn't think I could bear it. I tried to prepare myself for your going, but it didn't work.”

“I couldn't have stayed away for long. My heart's here with you. You taught me to forgive myself for the past and cherish whatever the future holds.”

His eyes drifted shut. “We have so much, Letty.” He was about to say more when the kitchen door burst open and Cricket came rushing into the room.