Delia's Heart (24 page)

Jesse did return to college and to Edward. He did whatever he had to do to win the concession from his parents. I felt certain one of the things was to promise never to have anything to do with me again.

These days seemed to take longer. Weeks were more like months. I drudged along, taking little care of my appearance. My hair looked straggly and dirty most of the time. I didn’t even wear lipstick. If any boy at school even glanced my way, I turned my back on him quickly. Vaguely, in the back of my mind, I looked forward to the day Tía Isabela described, the day I turned eighteen and she sent me packing. I had no idea whether I would return to Mexico or not, but just the idea of being on my own, being released from this new prison, was enough to keep me going.

Of course, I couldn’t stop thinking about Ignacio. It took awhile for me to learn what prison he had been sent to, but when I did, I wrote him a letter and prayed he would write back. He didn’t, but I wrote him again and again. I waited for a response in vain. Nothing I told him seemed to please him or get him to forgive me. I decided to stop writing to him. Even if I could show him that none of this was my deliberate doing, I was sure that he saw me as the cause of all the pain and trouble his family was suffering.

I began to believe and accept this way of thinking, too, and therefore quietly accepted all of the abuse, the extra hard work, and the drudgery of my life as proper punishment. I almost welcomed whatever mean thing Sophia could say or do. I saw that this diminished her satisfaction. She was gradually getting bored with me, anyway, and returned to her own pleasures with her friends. She had something to hold over her mother now. She had been the one to expose it all and save her mother from even greater embarrassment. If Tía Isabela tried to discipline or restrict her in any way, she was quick to throw it back in her face, and her mother retreated. Sophia was as wild as ever, and reckless. I knew her schoolwork suffered, but the only thing that mattered was keeping herself from being bored or unhappy.

It had been so long since I had been happy myself that I actually began to envy her. I’d watch her parade by with her friends, laughing and talking excitedly, or see her being picked up to go places on weekends night and day. I was truly once again the Cinderella who had gone too far beyond her midnight curfew and had been returned to her lowly status.

And then, one day, without any warning or preparation, I was summoned by
mi tía
just as I began washing the kitchen floor.

“Leave it. Inez will finish that. Señora Dallas wants you right now,” Señora Rosario told me.

When I started out, she stopped me to fix my hair and straighten my clothes. Confused by her attention, I walked into the living room to find Adan Bovio sitting with
mi tía
Isabela. He stood up immediately, looking as handsome as ever in his tight, hip-hugging jeans and silk turquoise short-sleeve shirt. He looked tanned and rested and wore a beautiful thick gold chain around his neck.

“Hello, Delia,” he said. “
Cómo estás
?”

I looked at
mi tía
Isabela. She nodded slightly, as if to give me permission to speak.

“I am okay, Adan, and you?”

“As busy as ever. My father let me take a short holiday in Hawaii, however, and I’ve just recently returned.”

Again, I looked to Tía Isabela.

“Unless you have something on your clothes that will stain the furniture, you may sit, Delia.”

Surprised at the invitation, I did sit quickly. Adan sat as well.

“Would you like something cold to drink, Adan?” Tía Isabela asked him.

“No, I’m fine, Mrs. Dallas.”

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you at least a dozen times to call me Isabela, Adan. Don’t make me sound old.”

He laughed.

I looked from one to the other, amazed at how they
both were acting as if nothing terrible had occurred. What was going on? Why was Adan here, and why was
mi tía
being so pleasant to me?

“Adan has asked for permission to take you on his boat again, Delia. He would like you to accompany him this coming Saturday. I told him I would give it serious consideration, since you have been behaving and could use the fresh air.”

I was speechless.

“You still have the bathing suit and boat clothing I bought for you,” she added.

I looked at her. I didn’t have them. She had taken it all back, but I could see she didn’t want me to say that.

“
Sí
, Tía Isabela.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then, Adan. You’re coming by when tomorrow morning?”

“I thought about nine, if that’s all right, Delia.”

“It’s all right,” Tía Isabela quickly answered for me. “Is this a party, Adan, some of your friends?”

“No, Isabela. For now, I thought it would be better if there was just the two of us.” He looked at me. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Yes, I imagine you do,” Tía Isabela said.

Adan nodded. “Well, then, I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he said, standing. “It’s nice seeing you, Isabela.”

“And nice seeing you, Adan,” she said. She followed him to the doorway and said good-bye. Then she turned quickly and walked back to the living room.

“That’s a man for you,” she said. “See how stupid they are? After the way you treated him, he’s still infatuated with you. If you’re smart, have any brains at all, you’ll take advantage of it. This is absolutely the very last opportunity I’ll provide for you. When you drive him away this time, you drive it all away,” she concluded. “Come to my room, and I’ll give you the clothing and the bathing suit.”

I rose and followed her. When she handed the clothes to me, she looked more closely at my hair and face.

“You can stop your working today. Go do something about your appearance, your hair, your nails, everything. It will probably take you until tomorrow to get yourself presentable again. How he didn’t see that just now is beyond me. Well, maybe not so beyond me. Men are blind when it comes to women. Look at your father. Go on, get to it,” she ordered, and waved at the door.

I hurried out, feeling very confused. What had brought Adan Bovio back? Was I happy about it or not? What definitely did make me happy was the reaction Sophia had when she heard. She came running up the stairs to my room. I had just washed my hair, using the hair softeners and treatment Tía Isabela had given me and not taken back. I was sitting at my table brushing out my hair and drying it when Sophia burst in.

“Is it true?”

I shut off the dryer and turned to her. “What?” I asked, pretending ignorance.

“You know what. Don’t play dumb with me, Delia. Did Adan Bovio come here and ask you on his boat again? Well?”

“I think it’s true,” I said.

She stared, fuming. I saw her mind spinning. “My lying mother had something to do with this. She’s still after his father. I can’t believe it,” she said, and then smiled. “You’ll do something to mess it up, I’m sure. On the other hand, maybe he’s taking you out to sea to drown you. Or maybe my mother asked him to do her a favor.” She left with a smile on her face.

As foolish as that sounded, the image frightened me. Was Adan angry enough to do something that drastic and horrible? Certainly, I could believe
mi tía
Isabela would. Then I shook my head at myself in the mirror, laughing at how paranoid I had become.

That evening, Tía Isabela did another surprising thing. She had Inez set out a place setting for me to have dinner with her and Sophia. I could see how displeased Sophia was, but Tía Isabela was acting as if nothing much had happened since I had sat with them at this table before I went to Mexico. In fact, her topics of conversation were centered all around social events and the upcoming political events that were being held for Señor Bovio. When she talked about my boat trip, Sophia was so infuriated she interrupted her mother to say she was finished eating and wanted to go up to prepare for going out. She jumped out of her seat before Tía Isabela could respond, but at the doorway, she turned, her eyes blazing with rage, and said, “You’re still the laughingstock of Palm Springs, Mother, because of what you did for her, and this isn’t going to change it.”

She ran to the stairway before Tía Isabela replied. She didn’t seem to want to reply, anyway. She simply smiled, shook her head, and continued talking about
people and events that were filling the social calendar. I listened, nodded, and smiled whenever I thought I should, but to me, it was as if I were humoring someone who had gone mad.

By the time I went up to my room, Sophia was already gone. She came home very late and made enough noise to be sure she would waken me. I heard her open my door, but I kept my eyes closed to pretend I was asleep. She laughed and came to my bed.

“I know you’re awake,” she said. “You’re probably having a hard time staying asleep because you’re so excited about tomorrow on the boat with Adan.”

I groaned and turned over to look at her. “What do you want, Sophia?”

“Nothing.”

She wobbled a bit, and I could smell the alcohol on her breath. There was a rum drink they were all into now.

“Then go to sleep,” I said, turning back, “and give the rest of the world a rest.”

“Very funny. Ha-ha. For your information, I have some information for you.”

She waited, but I didn’t ask what, and I kept my back to her, hoping to discourage her.

“It’s about Adan Bovio.”

“Right.”

“It just so happens he’s been seeing someone else very seriously all this time. In fact, he took her to Hawaii with him. Her name is Dana Del Ray, and her father is the CEO of Atlantic Air. They live in Beverly Hills, and everyone says they’re minutes away from becoming engaged.”

I didn’t reply or look at her.

“So, I wouldn’t put too much hope in this date tomorrow. It sounds like he’s toying with you.”

I pressed my lips together to smother a cry. She’s lying, I thought. She’s simply trying to do anything she can to hurt me. I heard her giggle and then turn and start away, but at the door to my bedroom, she turned back.

“If you want, I’ll lend you my spermicidal foam. I’ll even show you how to use it. Just knock on my door in the morning. I don’t mind.”

She laughed again and left.

For a long time, I lay there, unable to move. Her words circled my head like wasps.

I finally fell asleep but nearly overslept. I rose, showered, and dressed quickly. When I opened my door to go downstairs, a box of Sophia’s birth-control foam was there on the floor.

I scooped it up, and then, as if it was a hot potato, I quickly dropped it in front of her door before I hurried downstairs to have some coffee and a piece of toast and wait for Adan. My stomach was in too much turmoil for me to be very hungry. I couldn’t even eat the toast.

Maybe because of the little sleep I had gotten or the confusion and excitement I was feeling, I felt dizzy. I sat at the table with my eyes closed most of the time. Tía Isabela did not come out to join me, which surprised me. By the time I heard the door buzzer, I was ready to go back upstairs to bed. I started toward the entrance, but Tía Isabela was there before me and before Señora Rosario.

“Why, Adan,” she declared, “you’re right on time.”

He stepped in, and she turned toward me.

“And so is our dear Delia. The two of you, so anxious to be together. How nice.”

Her smile put ice in my veins.

It was as if the devil had crawled into her and was urging me on through the gates of hell.

“A
re you all right with this?” Adan asked as soon as we closed the door behind us. “You’re not upset about my coming to ask you on the boat?”

“I’m not upset, but I am surprised.”

He nodded and opened the car door for me. I glanced at him and slipped into the seat. After he closed the door, he stood there for a moment, looking back at the house as if he were deciding whether or not to go through with this date. Then he hurried around and got into the car.

I waited for him to say more, but he drove away with just a smile flashed in my direction. Finally, after we had driven off
mi tía
Isabela’s property, he turned to me and asked, “How are things going for you, Delia?”

I remembered an expression my father would use whenever someone asked him that, especially after a hard day’s work in the fields.

“I’m doing well, if I count tips,” I said, and he laughed.

“I missed your sense of humor.”

I could see that he was thinking carefully before he spoke, combing through the words he was going to use. It made me uncomfortable. It was as if we were both in court, taking great care not to say anything offensive or anything that would bring up unpleasant things. How could we spend hours with each other this way, not to mention being alone so much on a boat?

“I’m sorry I haven’t come around sooner,” he began, “but I’m sure you can understand that it’s taken me time to work through everything.”

He paused so long I thought that was all he was going to say, but then he asked, “Have you been in touch with your friend Ignacio Davila?”

“I tried writing him, but he does not reply.”

“If you feel like it, you can tell me what happened. It’s all right if you don’t want to talk about it,” he quickly added.

At first, I thought I wouldn’t, but so many times I had gone over it all myself to try to understand what had brought us all to this place, this situation. One more time didn’t seem to matter and might get me to see something I had missed. Perhaps he would say something wise as well.

I began by going as far back as the first day I had come to America to live with my aunt and described what it was like then and going to the ESL class and being so alone in a foreign country. I explained how Ignacio and I had become friends and how I had enjoyed being with his family, how it had helped me get over my homesickness.

Adan listened attentively, obviously afraid to utter a sound that might stop me from continuing. When I described crossing the desert in flight, he did shake his head and said, “It’s impossible to appreciate how desperate people can get.”

“I am sorry for how I have hurt my cousin Edward and his friend Jesse,” I added.

Adan nodded. “I’m sure you are, but I’m also sure they’ll be all right,” he said, smiling. “And so will you.”

When we reached the dock, I thought about all the mean things Sophia had said to me and the warnings she had delighted in giving me. I hesitated in the car. Adan, who had gotten out, leaned in to ask if I was all right. I gazed at the boat.

“I have been honest and open with you, Adan. Please be the same with me.”

“What?” he asked, surprised, sitting back in the car.

“Tell me why after so long you decided to call on me.”

He stared a moment and then shrugged. “I wanted to come to see you earlier, but…”

“Yes?”

“My father was very upset with it all. He told me your aunt was near a nervous breakdown.”

“I don’t think so,” I said, smiling. “She could win what is called the Academy Award.”

“Whatever, it made it very difficult for me.”

“And this other girl you have been seeing? She, too, made it difficult?”

“What other girl?”

“Dana Del Ray.”

He turned so quickly toward me that I thought he had snapped his neck. “Who told you about her?”

“Who tells me anything she can to make me unhappy?”

“Oh. I thought it might have been Fani.”

“No, I haven’t spoken to Fani since I left with my cousin to go to Mexico.”

“She has never called you?”

“Never. You told her you were coming to see me?”

“No,” he said.

“And you haven’t told your father, either, have you?”

He played with the steering wheel a moment and then shook his head.

“Why did you come? Why did you ask me out on your boat, Adan?”

“It’s true I’ve been seeing other girls, and even one in particular, all this time, Dana Del Ray,” he began. “Her father’s very wealthy and powerful. My father is very good friends with him.” He laughed. “It’s almost like one of those arranged marriages in Mexico you once described. She’s nice, attractive, but an airhead. You know what this is?”

“I’ve heard about it.”

“After what happened with you, I felt I had to do things to please my father, but I came to the conclusion recently that if I’m not happy, in the end, I won’t be pleasing him. I didn’t know if you would want to see me again. I wasn’t sure what your relationship was with this Mexican boy, whether it was some family thing or what. You know, one of those arranged relationships.

“When I phoned your aunt, she was very encourag
ing, enthusiastic. She told me you weren’t seeing anyone. I thought, maybe if she approves again, my father would come around, but none of it would matter if you didn’t want to be with me.

“So,” he continued, “this was a way to find out. That’s it, as honestly as I can tell it.”

“
Gracias
,” I said.

“Let’s just go for a nice boat ride, have a wonderful lunch, swim, and enjoy the day. If it makes you happy, good. If not, I’ll bring you home and wish you good luck. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said.

The man who looked after the boat appeared on the dock, looking our way and wondering, I felt sure, why we were taking so long. When he saw us get out of the car, he headed our way.

“Might be a little rough out there today, Adan,” he said. “Winds are up. The front is very unpredictable.”

“Maybe we’ll just go south, then, to Coronado. It’s not far,” he told me. “Good places for lunch.”

“Everything’s set.”

“Thank you, Bill,” Adan told him. He nodded at me and walked off.

Adan helped me onto the boat. Nothing much had changed on it. I went up onto the bridge with him and sat while he got us under way. As soon as we left the dock, we felt the swell and the wind. The boat bounced. Adan kept the speed down to keep us from bouncing too hard, but it was obviously not going to be as soft and gentle a trip as it had been the first time.

“I’m sorry,” Adan said, as if the changes in weather were his fault. “Are you all right with this? We could go back.”

“I don’t mind, as long as it’s safe,” I said.

He nodded, but I could see he was unhappy about having to pay so much more attention to navigating. At one point, there was a small inlet, and he headed us into it just to get some rest. It wasn’t as bad, and he was able to shut the engine and drop anchor. We had some cold plain soda and then sprawled out on the cushioned matting on the deck. I stripped down to my bathing suit, and he did the same.

“My father’s campaign got off to a great start,” he said after we had both put on some sunscreen. “But the polling statewide is not promising. We’ve actually lost some ground. It’s made him more irritable.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Which is another reason I didn’t bring you up in a conversation,” he admitted. “Everything in this world is timing. Something good today will sound bad tomorrow or did earlier. I’ll tell you what I have learned these months without seeing you, Delia. I’ve learned to go slower, think longer before acting. Maybe I’m getting older,” he concluded, and turned on his back again. “I sound like a man who wants to be settled down.”

“Is that bad?”

“Part of me says no, but sometimes I think I’m not willing to give up being young and foolish just yet. Like most people my age, I’m more afraid of missing something than I am about anything else. Stupid, I know.”

We were both quiet. The boat bobbed and swung, and the sun found cover behind a stream of clouds that looked like spilled milk. Birds circling seemed curious enough about us to draw closer and a seagull did land
on the railing and strut for a few seconds before lifting back into the wind, perhaps to report to his brothers and sisters that we were boring. There was no food set out. The clouds looked as if they were racing across the sky, some appearing like soft but smeared marshmallow.

“What are you looking for now, Delia? Surely, all that’s happened has had an effect on you.”

“I want to graduate from high school, of course.”

“And then?”

“I’ve decided I might go to nursing school,” I said.

“Really? Nursing?”

“Yes. I’m doing well in science classes, and medicine has always been intriguing to me. I think I’d like to care for other people and help them get well. Back in my village, there were no sophisticated medical facilities. Every family used old remedies for minor ailments, and they often worked. I know real doctors here would laugh, but sometimes the cure is right in front of us. I suppose you have to have some faith. Or maybe, as you said, it’s all just the right timing.”

Adan turned on his side and looked at me with a deeply quiet, studious expression.

“I know I’ve said this before, Delia, but I like being with you because you’re so much older than the girls your age here. That is why I have no difficulty thinking of you in more serious terms.”

“Serious terms? What does that mean, Adan?” I asked, turning toward him.

“I’d like to give you a special gift on your graduation day.”

“What is this special gift?”

“An engagement ring,” he said. “Don’t look so shocked and frightened,” he added, laughing.

“But I am,” I confessed.

“What would you do if I gave you such a gift that day? Would you accept it?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I know I want to do what I said. I want to become a nurse.”

“There’s no problem with that.”

“I don’t know.”

“You still have strong feelings for Ignacio?”

“I’m going to sound like—what you call it—a broken record.”

“You mean you don’t know?”

I nodded. “I am very confused,” I said.

He smiled and reached for my hand. “You have every right to be, but maybe I can help you get rid of the confusion.”

“How?”

“Like this,” he said.

He leaned in to kiss me and then kept his face close to mine so we could do nothing more than look into each other’s eyes.

“I can’t get your eyes out of mine,” he whispered. “Even when I look into the eyes of other girls, I see your eyes, Delia. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve set your anchor in me.”

He kissed me again, longer this time. The taste of his lips made my head spin.

“Delia,” he said, his lips grazing my cheek and my earlobe, “I need you and want you to need me. Nothing that’s happened has changed that or ever will.”

All my days of pain and turmoil had cut the legs out from beneath my sense of caution. I brought my lips back to his, I felt his level of excitement. His hands moved up and around to slip under the top of my
bathing suit and easily lift it away from my breasts. The cool air felt good on my hardened nipples, which eagerly accepted his lips and the tip of his tongue. I moaned as he kissed his way down to my belly button and below, gracefully undoing the bottom of my suit. In the distance, I heard the birds cawing as if they were trying to warn me against myself, as if the voices of my ancestors were being transmitted from beyond.

But I was unable to deny that I had fantasized about this moment many times, that I had struggled, mostly in vain, to put it out of my mind. He was mounting me and chanting my name as if not saying it would shut some door and destroy the magic bubble around us. I didn’t surrender to him as much as I drew him into me, demanding that he surrender all of his essence, uncover his soul, be completely naked and honest. When I realized there was no turning back, I surged forward. The ocean lifted and dropped us gently, as if it were trying to mimic our love rhythms. The wind eagerly scooped up my cries and carried them over the water. We held each other so tightly it was as if we were literally trying to absorb each other.

I heard my cries of pleasure as they echoed down the corridors of ecstasy leading to my very soul. “Delia,” he whispered. “Delia, I love you.”

We did not let go of each other when it ended, either. We lay there entwined until both of us began to breathe normally and both our hearts stopped thrashing inside our chests. Then he turned over, quickly put his bathing suit on, and tossed a towel over me. I closed my eyes and turned on my side.

“Just relax,” he said. “I’ll get us under way. I know this great restaurant that has its own dock. It’s not far.”

I didn’t reply, and I didn’t open my eyes until I felt the boat moving quickly and bouncing harder on the water. I had been lying there anticipating my inner voice start to reprimand me, stir regrets, bring me to tears, but I heard nothing but the echo of my own pleasure. I’m still smiling, I thought. This must be right.

I dressed and took a cold drink. Adan beckoned for me to climb up to the bridge. He held out his hand, and I stood beside him looking out at the water while he put his arm around my shoulders to draw me closer to him.

“You okay?” he asked, and kissed my cheek.

I nodded, but I wondered if he could feel me trembling inside.

“I’m really hungry,” he said. “You?”

“Yes.”

“I really do love you, Delia.”

“
Sí, yo lo creo
.”

I did believe him, and I didn’t think I was gullible or just vulnerable because of all that had happened. I had confidence in my own feelings and what I could see in his eyes.

I knew that he was waiting for me to say I loved him as well, but those words were still forming. He would have to be patient.

I went down to put on the rest of my clothing as we drew closer to the restaurant he had described. Then I helped him get the boat tied to the dock, and we went off to eat. Adan was even more animated, excited, and happy at the restaurant. I regained an appetite as I calmed down and really enjoyed the lunch. Afterward, the winds seemed to calm as well, and the ocean was not as rough. He felt it was safe enough for him to
show me how to navigate to keep the course steady. When he was confident that I knew what to do, he had me drive the boat while he took a nap.