“I liked it with the lights out,” he whispered against her ear. “It was a nice way to begin. You were right.”
She snuggled closer. “I always feel more comfortable in the dark. Well, usually.”
Usually. Something in her voice made the magical sheen of their encounter ebb away. The phantom ex-partner. What had he done to her in the dark? Dave had completely forgotten about her traumatic past in the heat of the moment, until he heard that note in her voice.
Well, Dave would take it all away. He would love her and nurture her, play with her until the laughter outpaced the fears. He kissed her forehead and nibbled her lips before he finally parted from her. He removed the condom and tossed it in the can under the nightstand, by feel, not sight. He still didn’t want to turn on the light. It was as if the darkness held the intimacy they’d just shared like a secret. The light would dispel it, break the moment. The light would come soon enough, in the morning, and then they’d have to talk, negotiate, make plans to move forward.
But not tonight. Tonight he only kissed her again and again in the enveloping blackness they shared. He didn’t say anything, because there were no words to express how strongly he felt. Only the kisses, the endless, adoring kisses, and the hands that refused to let her go.
* * * * *
Sophie came awake with a start just before dawn. Holy hell, what had she done? She’d fallen asleep right there in his arms and slept for hours. The last thing she remembered, he had been kissing her, dropping soft kisses across her shoulder and over her breasts. She had felt so warm, so drowsy. So satiated. She had intended to make her excuses, get dressed and head home. But she must have fallen asleep instead.
She had a feeling he would have put up a fight anyway. Even now, his arm was slung possessively across her waist. She really didn’t want to go home. She wanted to stay there in his bed, in his arms, forever. But he would see…he would see in the light of day how messed up she was. She had to go. She
had
to go. She didn’t want the scene.
She tried to inch from under his arm. Her dress was still over by the door. If she could just get dressed before he woke up… She heard Dave’s dog scratching at the door and whining.
“Mmrh. Sophie. Don’t mind Cerb. I’ll let him out in a bit.”
He pulled her closer again. God, he smelled so wonderful, like aftershave and sex and sleepy man. His face was relaxed and his eyes didn’t even open. His lashes lay thick and black against his tan skin. His lips were so beautifully formed, and his cheeks had a smattering of dark stubble, a texture she wanted to explore.
No. Get dressed. Go home.
“I can let him out, Dave. I have to get up anyway.”
Suddenly he came awake. She pulled the sheets closer around her as he looked at her.
“Are you trying to steal away from me?”
“I just had to… I mean… I wanted to—”
“You wanted to sneak away while I was half asleep so you never had to see me again,” he accused, teasing her. His eyes crinkled into beautiful laugh lines. She thought he must smile all the time. He was so handsome, sleep-rumpled and easy.
Sophie laughed too, a more mournful note. “No. Not at all.”
“Stay here in bed with me then. Let’s snuggle.”
She rubbed her eyes. The temptation proved too much and she sank back down beside him.
“So, Sophie,” he whispered against her ear. “How about breakfast?”
She sighed. “I—”
“I know The UPS Store is not open on Sunday, so don’t even try it.”
“No, I don’t have to work. But I have some things to do—”
“What kind of things?”
His hands were roving over her under the covers, making it very difficult for her to think up excuses.
“I just—”
“You just what, baby?”
He pulled back the covers and lowered his head to kiss her neck and then down her chest.
Shit.
She felt it, the instant he froze. She tried to pull the sheets back up but he pulled them down. They tugged them back and forth. It would have been funny if she didn’t feel close to tears.
“Sophie?”
“I just want to get dressed. Just please let me up.”
“What happened to you? What are these scars?”
His fingertips traced over the ugly burns on the side of her breasts, then down to the faint stripes of scars on her stomach. She wanted to turn away, to turn her back on him, but the ones on her back were worse. She hunched over instead, then took flight. She pushed his hands away and ran for her clothes in the half-light. She had her dress half up and her arms in the sleeves before he got to her.
“Sophie. Hey.” His arms came around her. He hugged her close from behind, his stubbly cheek rubbing against her neck. “Please don’t run away. Talk to me.”
She pulled away from him. “I don’t want to talk. There’s nothing I can do now to change it. I can’t make the scars go away. And as for the rest of it, I have a therapist. I do enough talking about it with her.”
She turned away, pulling her zipper up and reaching for her tights, hating the fiery blush that spread across her face. The way he was looking at her.
Ugh.
Why hadn’t she left during the night? It had been such a wonderful experience being with him. Now it was all ugly and ruined. Just like her, just like everything she touched, fallen to complete and utter ruin—
“Sophie, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk. If you don’t want to talk about it, we won’t. But please don’t push me away…last night…look, I have some pretty strong feelings about you. Please don’t just run away from me now. That’s not fair.”
The kindness in his voice undid her. Her throat grew tight and the tears that threatened to overwhelm her began to fall. “It’s just… I didn’t want you to see the way I look. Those scars, they’re so ugly. I hate them. I wish I could make them go away.”
“Oh, baby.” He turned her around and held her to his chest. His fingers caressed her nape, slow and soothing. “You’re a beautiful girl, Sophie. Nothing that someone else did to you is ever going to change that.”
She shook her head against his chest. It wasn’t true. Barry had changed her. He had made her horrible and ugly both inside and out. She realized that she wasn’t ready to begin another relationship at all. That she could never be in another relationship. It was way too hard. She wanted to break away from him and run away, run to her car, drive home and be alone again. But at the same time, his warm hands were soothing her and she wanted to stay in his arms. He made her feel so treasured, so safe. She couldn’t decide what she wanted more, so in the end, she just stayed still and rested her cheek against the soft hair on his chest. His heart beat against her ear, slow and steady.
After a few minutes, she heard the scratching of his dog at the door again and a more insistent whine. He pulled back from her, turning to step into a pair of sweats. “I have to let Cerberus out. Come with me.”
She might have begged off and left for home if he hadn’t used his Dom voice on her. As it was, she fell into step behind him as he went to the patio door to let Cerberus out into the backyard. The house wasn’t very big, but the yard was large and wooded. Cerby bounded after a chipmunk before stopping to lift his leg against a massive pine.
“Come on. Come outside with me.” He held the door open. Again, she hesitated. If he had asked, “Come outside with me?” she would have said, “No, I have to go”. But he didn’t ask. He told. He told her to come outside, so she did. She followed him out onto his deck and blinked in the sunlight. It was a beautiful morning, cool and not too muggy. A light breeze ruffled her hair against her cheek and over her eyes. She glanced up to find him watching her, and she looked away. There were a couple padded lounge chairs that looked quite comfortable but neither of them sat. They just faced each other, her in her stark black dress and him in his rumpled sweats. She tried not to notice how the pants sat low on his hips, revealing a light trail of hair flanked by tight, defined muscles at either side of his hips. What were those called, those muscles men had there? She was having trouble thinking. He was staring at her, and she didn’t know him well enough yet to untangle the emotions in his gaze.
“I’m sorry,” she began. “I should have told you. I would have eventually, I just didn’t know—”
“Sophie.”
“I didn’t really plan—I mean, I didn’t expect to be here. I didn’t know I was going to spend the night—”
“Sophie—”
“I mean, I just met you yesterday afternoon. If I had known, I would have thought about how to handle it. But it was wrong of me to just hide in the dark like that. But I…I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again after tonight, so, anyway, I’m sorry—”
He scowled at her, then drew her close and kissed her hard. She pulled away but he persevered, parting her lips, thrusting his tongue inside. He kissed her until she responded to him, until she went pliable in his arms. Soon afterward, he broke the kiss and scowled down at her again.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
“To shut you up. You apologizing for what he did to you really drags my nerves. Don’t do it again or I might go crazy.”
“I’m— I’m sorry—” Sophie blushed and swallowed the rest of the sentence. “That wasn’t apologizing for him that time. Just for me.”
Dave was nodding with a dire look. “Mm-hm. How about no more apologizing right now?”
“Okay.” She looked down at her feet, wanting to sink into the ground. He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes.
“Repeat after me.
I’m beautiful.
”
“You’re beautiful,” she agreed with a nod.
He shook his head, fighting a smile. “Don’t test me. I’m dying to spank you. Dying to. But now probably isn’t the time. So try again.
I’m beautiful.
”
“I’m…” She stopped. “I don’t believe that. Just saying so doesn’t make it true.”
“No. My saying so makes it true. I’m waiting.”
She swallowed and pursed her lips. “Okay. You find me beautiful.”
She couldn’t have sounded more unconvinced, but he accepted her attempt anyway. “That’s right, because you are beautiful. Those scars don’t bother me. I’ve seen things, I’ve photographed things you really wouldn’t believe. Really ugly things. But those marks on you, they’re not ugly. Do you know why?”
She shook her head.
“Because you’re not with him anymore. You’re here with me. You left him and you’re with me now, and if I get my way, you’re going to be with me for a while. What do you think about that?”
Neither one of them noticed Cerberus watching this time, his luminous dark eyes intent on his owner as Dave kissed the pretty new stray he intended to adopt as his own.
Chapter Four
“Mmmmrrrrrhhhhh…ahhhh…”
Sophie stretched awake to the feeling of Dave’s lips on her nape, licking slowly up to her hairline. “Ohhhhh…” She shuddered and pressed her hips back against him.
“Oh, yourself.” Dave pulled her sheer panties up between her cheeks until she squirmed, then peeled them down over her arched hips. “Good morning, Sophie,” he breathed in her ear as he poked his cock against the back of her thigh.
“Mmmmm…” The wordless plea was the only sound her sleepy brain could come up with. She was relieved to feel him turn and open the bedside drawer. He was back in an instant, although it was too long for Sophie when she was in this mood. Something about waking up beside him in the warmth of his cozy bed, cradled in the strong, capable arms that kept the nightmares at bay…
“Dave, please.”
“Correct address, Sophie.” Dom voice.
Sophie tried to push the fog away and behave appropriately. It had been nearly two months since they’d met, and two weeks since she’d moved into his comfortable home. For the first few weeks, Dave had insisted they interact as equals except in the bedroom. For the getting-to-know-you phase, he’d explained. Sophie had felt lost at that, but Dave insisted, based on her history, that she know him well before she gave up significant power to him.
It was only in the last week he’d begun to lay down some basic rules and protocols, which both relieved and thrilled her.
So Sophie changed “Dave, please” to “Sir, please” and burned even hotter for him when she heard his approving “Good girl”. He took her hips in his hands, guiding himself to her pussy. Without thinking, she reached back as if to control the depth of his thrust, but his grunt of disapproval froze her.
“Hands over your head. Grip the headboard.”
“Yes Sir.” Her palms closed around the cold iron and she tried to open herself to him without reservation.
He won’t hurt you. He hasn’t hurt you yet.
She still flinched from him sometimes, still cringed in self-protective moments, but they were growing fewer and farther between. At first Dave had been beside himself each time she ducked from him, and she hated to see the guilt in his eyes, but she was doing better now. He was better too. She had finally convinced him that it was merely habit, that she did trust him. So far, he had given her no cause to withdraw her trust.
But she would if she had to. She repeated it to herself every day.
Careful, careful. Beware.
The closer she got to him, the more he required of her, the more she steeled herself against giving herself away completely. She kept one small part of herself apart, one small corner of her psyche to monitor if the relationship was still okay. Even times like this it didn’t go away.