Deep Blue (The Mermaid Chronicles Book 1) (20 page)

             
Alice was tired. She couldn’t swim anymore and she couldn’t fight the current, so she drifted and soon found herself crashed against a rock. She clung to the surface with all the strength she had in her. It took her a few moments before she realized she was sobbing, and she didn’t even know remotely where she was. She pulled herself higher on the rock, letting the waves shower her with foam. She didn’t even know who she was anymore. There were so many things swimming in her head, images and memories that didn’t have anything to do with her.

The head of a seal poked out of the water. It looked at Alice, clinging to the rock like it was the only thing keeping her alive. As the seal climbed out of the water, the tail was longer than any seal’s. Curious, Alice looked up.

Kari threw the head of the sealskin back. Alice blinked at the redhead in surprise. “What?”

“My tribe often wears sealskins. It is one of the ways we go unnoticed among the North Atlantic waters. It’s why Ashley called me the Selkie.”

“Why are you here?”

“For you.” Alice glared at her. “You mated with Finn.”

“I don’t know what just happened.” Alice said, staring at her unstable reflection in the water.

“You were not born of us; how could you?” Kari brushed a lock of Alice’s hair from her bright green eyes. Alice looked at the girl. Her smile was as disarming as one of Adam’s, if not more so. “It is different for a human,” she looked at Alice’s eyes, “This rock, it can live apart from every other rock for all its life, and never know the difference, yet with another rock it can build an island, a shoreline. To the rock it does not matter what other rock it finds, but together they can build something greater. Alone it is still a rock for you to cling to.”

The tears stopped as Alice looked at the young mer, although at the moment she didn’t seem near as young as she looked.

“That is what life is for a human. They can be alone or together. For us, it is different. We are built in halves.” She smiled, sitting up. “Half land, half sea. Half human, half fish. Half in, half out. And half of each other. If you pull a plant from the dirt, it will die. Only planted in soil with the right nutrients will it grow. If you break a twig in half, it will only fit back together one way. We are each half a twig. Only when we find our other half can we grow.”

Alice opened her mouth to say something, to deny something, to make some argument. How was it possible that his memories swam through her brain? Anything to make sense of this madness. She found Kari’s finger to her lips.

“Alice, you are not human anymore. I once said it had to be hard for you. This is just one way. Had you remained only what you were, maybe you could have found happiness with the doctor, maybe you would have wandered the globe like we do when we cannot find our other half and ended up settling for something. You are of the folk now.”

“Adam…”

“Should have known better than to get emotionally involved.”

“How can you say that? It’s not his fault!”

“It is, Alice. That’s what you don’t understand. He knew full well what we are, even if you didn’t.” Alice looked at Kari again. There were necklaces around her neck, beautiful things engraved with Celtic designs. The skin perched around her shoulders; it seemed so much emptier than it had when she swam up, almost as if when she was in the skin it was a live seal.

“Where are you going?” Alice couldn’t tell how she knew, she just knew. Kari smiled at her.

“There is something I must do at home before I mate. After I kiss him, it will be too difficult to be such a great distance from him.”

Alice looked at the water, “Tommy.” Kari blushed and looked away, shaking her head slightly.

“What about you, what will you do?” Kari said, abruptly shifting the subject away from her.

Alice looked out into the distance, closing her eyes against the spray falling against her face. “We have to go.”

“You sense him.”

“Yes.” She looked at Kari. “It’s so weird.” Kari laughed, the ringing of her voice echoing off the cliff face, making even Alice smile. Kari returned her smile.

“Well what are you waiting for? Go to him!”

“No,” Alice frowned. Kari looked confused.

“There is someone I have to say goodbye to first.”

“Alice, he will get over you. He knew from the start.” Alice smiled a sad little smile at the small mer. She would never call her young again.

“Like you said, I’m half human,” Alice shrugged. Kari nodded as Alice slipped off the lonely rock and into the water.

Alice found Adam sitting on the wall behind the bar. She quietly joined him, but didn't say anything. Adam knew. Alice knew that Adam knew.

             
"I seem to remember a time when you were drunk up here," he said bitterly.

             
“Which time?” He didn’t even look at her. "Perhaps they should post a sign: No drunks on the wall." Alice said.

             
"Or maybe a sign coming into town: 'Beware Sirens Afoot.'" He took a swig of his drink. "You know, when I went back to visit my dad, he chased me out of the house when I mentioned how I felt for you, one of the fish."

             
"I didn't know," she said softly.

             
"You certainly are two of a kind. A pair of the most mentally fucked up people
I've e
ver seen. The worst part," he said, gesturing with his beer, "is that some part of me knew all along."

             
"I could have never been your woman."

             
"Don't give me that ‘you weren't good enough for me’ crap."

             
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

             
"No, it was that dick, Tommy. Manipulated the whole buggered thing."

             
"Tommy?"

             
"You better believe it, asshole," he added as an aside. They sat silent for a few moments; Alice was on the verge of tears. She loved Adam; she didn't want him to hurt like he did. At the same time, she could never be with him, even before everything had happened with Finn. He was right: she was all sorts of fucked up, and the only one who could understand was the one person she had never wanted anything to do with. It wasn’t love as a human saw it; it was something different, something more. Finn was her match, her destiny. Some part of her hated it, hated that the decision was out of her hands. Her love for Finn was born in an instant, though Adam had worked for his place in her heart.

             
"I just..." her voice choked.

             
"You're part of the ocean. I never really could have asked you to give up the ocean. If I had taken it from you, I would have been kicking myself all my life. It never would have worked," he said, smiling faintly, grabbing her hand and squeezing. "It's not your fault. I just could never understand it like you do." The tears were streaming from her eyes now as the sun set behind them. He put his arm around her and held her close while she cried. It meant nothing anymore. She was beyond his reach. He could only hope she'd retain a piece of him. "I would have hated myself for taking you from the water." Alice couldn't answer. It hurt; it hurt in a wholly different way than her pain from before. Adam knew he would heal, he knew it was coming; he knew he couldn't have her.

             
"It's okay, Alice, I understand," he said, pulling her hair from the tears on her face. She composed herself, cried a little less. He wondered how hard it really was to suddenly have feelings for someone where there weren't any before, to know things about someone that they didn't understand themselves. He wondered if he could survive the process, had it been reversed. Then again, Adam always knew that Alice was stronger than she thought she was. It seemed to him he had always been the only one who knew, but he wasn’t after all.

             
"You think anyone will notice Ashley's gone?" she asked as he stared at the ocean and the last bit of disappearing sun.

             
"Ha," he said, "People disappear and appear here so often, no one will think anything of it." He gave her a sidelong glance. "People will notice when you're gone."

             
She nodded. "Everything's just so fresh. I have to get away." She didn't bother asking how he knew. Adam had always been perceptive; he wasn't an idiot, that was for sure. She didn't have to say she was leaving; she didn't have to admit it was with Finn. He knew. Finn and Alice were cut from the same cloth. Tommy would be in charge for a while, but now he knew Finn would find his way back eventually. Then everything would be different. Perhaps it was time that Adam thought about leaving himself.

             
"What are you going to tell your parents?"

             
She smiled softly. "You think Mom will complain if I say I eloped with the local millionaire?"

             
He smiled back. "She'll be heartbroken that she doesn't get to fuss over you in a wedding dress." They laughed a small, awkward laugh. "You know, at some point I would have put money on the mermaid side of your family being you mom's side. Your Dad, the dentist...he just doesn't strike me as very fishy." She laughed a real laugh, and he relished in the sound. There was something magical about the folk, even when they broke your heart. They sat for a while longer; Adam's beer was half-finished. She took it from him and took a huge swig.

             
"I have to go write my parents an important note." Alice said. He smiled at her; a strong, winning smile, the same one she had seen when she first met him. She had been much more broken then. Now she knew she had a home, and she was needed. She was climbing off the wall, on her way away. Adam was going to just let her go when a thought struck his mind.

             
"Hey, Alice."

She turned her green eyes back on him. "Yes?"

             
"Promise me something."

             
"Anything."

             
"Don't come back without a little fish." She smiled back at him, the sweet broken one. He knew it would brighten up soon enough. When Alice came back, she would be completely different. Would he even recognize her? He had to shrug it off; he couldn't dwell on anything. "Any kid the two of you have is bound to be adorable," he continued. Alice’s smile grew stronger.

             
"I promise."

             
David and Alice stood on the private beach, early the next morning.

             
"Do you have to go?" he asked.

             
"I do. I couldn't describe half of it to you, little brother." She paused, staring at the ocean, the ocean that meant so much to her.

“You’d be surprised what I understand,” he muttered, thinking of a bright pair of blue eyes. Alice turned on him.

“Really?” He nodded and she punched him in the shoulder. They laughed together for a moment, brother and sister. "You think mom and dad will ever forgive me?" Alice wondered.

             
"About a minute after you come back. You are coming back, aren't you?"

She grabbed him and gave him a hug. "I promise I'll come back. You gonna be alright?"

             
"Hey, me and Tommy are great pals, dick that he is. We'll be fine without you. Now, are we going for a romp through the kelp or what?" She smiled at him and leapt into the water.

             
They swam together for a while, singing to each other songs of play, songs of childhood. There were no words; it was all emotion. Then another song joined them. It was distant, but Alice recognized it immediately. Brother and sister stopped in the water. Alice looked to David.

             
"Well, go after him, then."

She could see him in the distance. He was there, waiting for her, singing her song, happy with an ever fainter tint of sadness.

             
She raced toward him, leaving David behind. Finn raced forward. They raced each other to
their
island. He leapt from the water to the small beach. She was behind him. Alice was staring at the mark on his back, stitched up so neatly. Gently, ever-so-lightly, she traced it. He looked at her; there was fear in his eyes. It was a strange feeling, knowing a person that well. Both had moments in their past they didn't want to share, yet knowing that the other knew was a relief, a burden that was no longer on their shoulders.

             
He grabbed her wrist. She looked up at him with terrified eyes as he placed her hand against his cheek. He was over her now. He touched the scar the mugger’s knife had made in her side. She flinched, but didn't stop him. Their tails were out of the water, the sun was high in the sky. His strong hand traveled up her side as he leaned in to tenderly kiss her lips. A soft current ran through both of them. Their tails were gone, and her legs wrapped around him. His slight frame was wound in her arms. His strength was with her. Her strength was with him. He was with her. The ocean was inside her as they danced together. Her inner scars disappeared with his. The world was okay, and brightening by the moment.