Dearest Clementine (5 page)

After a moment, I shake my head. “That’s not your name.”

He holds out his hand.

“That would be Gavin Murphy. It’s lovely to formally meet you, Clementine.”

As I return the gesture, it comes to me.

“You’re an RA at Warren Towers.”

He grins, and it’s adorable. Dimples peek out, and I force myself not to stare. I’m starting to think that maybe coming out tonight wasn’t such a bad idea, but then he opens his mouth again.

“And you buy extra-large condoms.”

As the blood drains from my face, I yank back my hand. “What?”

He’s laughing, and I’m ten kinds of mortified. It takes me a second to place him.

“You were with that dickhead at CVS,” I croak.

He laughs. “I was actually just standing in line. I have no idea who he was except to say you have probably put him in therapy for having small junk.”

I don’t know if I’m feeling vulnerable because it’s my birthday and this is the most alcohol I’ve consumed in years, but the window of possibility I initially felt toward him instantly slams shut. I narrow my eyes at him and smirk.

“Well, spare yourself the effort because I doubt you’d make the cut either,” I say, downing my shot and walking off.
Asshole.

Twenty minutes later, I’m talking to my brother on the back porch when Harper grabs me. “I need to warn you. Jenna plans to do some karaoke before we go to the club.”

“Okay,” I say slowly. “Jenna can’t sing, so this should be fun.”

“She’s not the one who’s going to sing. She plans to make you take the stage.”

“Shit. I don’t think I’m drunk enough for that.”

Harper laughs as she looks around the back yard, which is littered with random partygoers. “You have a great voice, so pretend you’re in the shower, and imagine everyone is naked. I mean, except for your brother ‘cause that’s gross.”

Jax raises his eyebrows.

I laugh. “That
is
gross.”

“There is nothing gross about me being naked,” he says.

Harper rolls her eyes at my brother and then nudges me as she whispers, “Pretend like I didn’t tell you anything because Jenna has been working really hard to make all of this a surprise. I just didn’t want you to get overwhelmed.”

“Thanks. This should be memorable.”

Jenna must be psychic because she beelines it to us, grinning like a guilty cat.

“One more little thing up my sleeve, birthday girl!” She loops her arm through mine, dragging me back to the living room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gavin talking to his friends. A tall redhead is leaning against him, laughing provocatively. She whispers in his ear as she places her hands on his sternum, and something hot churns in my chest.

He seems so at ease and confident. I bet he’s the kind of guy who has it all planned out—his career, the perfect wife, a two-story Cape Cod and a Golden Retriever. He’ll probably end up with someone like that girl who’s all curvy and flirtatious and leggy.

When he tried to talk to me, I was my usual sweet, charming self. He made a joke, and I bit his head off.
Typical
.

Screw it. Why the fuck should I care who he talks to?

He looks up, and my eyes dart away.

“My girl Clem is going to kick off the karaoke,” Jenna yells, shaking me out of my haze as she shoves a microphone into my hand. “What do you want to sing?” 

I shrug and tell her to pick.
You Know I’m No Good
by Amy Winehouse starts up. I grin. She knows me so well.

As I sing, I feel his eyes on me, and when I hit the chorus, I have a fleeting surge of bravery and look his way.

That’s right, Mr. Perfect. I’m talking to you. Because I’d never fit in your perfect little world.

I don’t know what I expected his reaction to be, but the corner of his mouth pulls up into a crooked grin just before I look away. Suddenly, I think I’m more nervous from that one little interaction than singing for a room full of people.

When I’m done, everyone is so quiet I can hear the clock on the wall, and I’m starting to wonder if I sounded like ass when everyone starts yelling and clapping.

Damn. Maybe I should do this more often.

-
4 -

Being jostled around does not feel good. Not. At. All.

I remember leaving Ryan’s and heading to the club… and then dancing under the swirly lights… and doing more shots…

“She’s hammered. Shit.”

I hear people talking about me like I’m not standing here right in front of them. Okay, I’m leaning on someone, but it’s pretty close to standing.

Jenna is talking, but she sounds muffled. “… I was planning to go home with Ryan, and Harper already left for her boyfriend’s place. Crap. I didn’t think she’d get wasted. I’ve never seen her drink this much.”

“I can take her home,” a familiar male voice says.

“Really?” It’s quiet except for the ringing in my ears from the club. I’m jostled again, and then I hear the jingle of keys. “I’m trusting you not to violate my best friend or run off with her. She’d better not show up on a damn milk carton.”

“Don’t worry. Drunk girls aren’t my thing.”

The world shifts as my arm is lifted off one person’s shoulders. Then I’m in the air.

“You’re pretty light. Hold on, darlin’.”

* * *

He smells so good
. My nose is up against his neck, which is warm and smooth, and I want to snuggle.

“I never drink,” I murmur against his skin. When I open my eyes, I realize we’re in my living room, and I’m in Gavin’s arms.

“Yeah, I can tell. Clementine, which room is yours?”

I point in what I hope is the right direction. A door opens, and then he’s setting me down on the bed, and my arms are empty. The room tilts, and through my alcohol-induced fog, I realize I liked being held by him.

“Don’t go. I’m cold. You’re warm, and you smell good.”

He chuckles as his eyes pass over me. “You sure you want me here? You gave me a serious fuck-off vibe tonight.”

“I just do that. I’m broken.” I fall back into my bed. He reaches over and pulls off my shoes, and I curl up as he drapes a blanket over me. The room starts to spin.

“Why do you think you’re broken?”

I like his voice. It’s so, so sexy.

“Because I have pieces missing.”

“Where’d they go?”

That’s easy. “To BC.”

He laughs again and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “They ate all the candy off your necklace,” he says softly.

“That was gross. One guy licked me. Asshole.”

He’s quiet, and then I hear him groan. “Clem, don’t tell me about guys licking your neck.” It’s funny that he would care. I just met him.

“You didn’t have any candy.”

“I wanted some.”

“Really?” I’m so tired, I can’t help but yawn.

“Yeah.”

After a few heartbeats, I realize what I want to tell him. “You know, they weren’t for me.” He’s quiet. He probably hasn’t a clue what I’m talking about. “The condoms were for the fishbowl.”

“The fishbowl?”

I want to explain how we have a communal fishbowl of condoms, and Jenna was having a penis emergency, but the words don’t come. All I can do is shiver.

“I’m cold and the spinning won’t stop,” I say. There’s silence again, and I wonder if he’s left, this beautiful man whom I watched all night, pretending to ignore. But the mattress sinks as he scoots into my narrow bed behind me, pressing his muscular body against my back. He reaches around my waist, and I relax into his warmth and close my eyes.

“I’m sorry I was an ass earlier,” he whispers into my ear.

“What do you mean?” He’s right here, but it’s like we’re talking in a dream. Maybe I’m asleep, and I’m dreaming, and for once in my life I can say what I feel.

“The condoms. I knew they weren’t for you. Every guy on campus knows you don’t date. I was, uh, trying to be funny. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

I don’t know why, but I giggle. “No, I have one gear. It’s bitch mode.”

“I’ve never heard that before.”

“That I’m a bitch?”

“No, your giggle. I like it.”

The spinning starts to subside. In the darkness, Gavin’s deep breaths are hypnotizing, and the rhythm steadies me.

“I remember you too.” His mouth is still against my ear, and the heat from his breath makes me shiver again.

“From Warren Towers?”

“No.” He fits against me, his broad shoulders pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around mine. This is nice. “Proseminar in Literature, freshman year.”

I’m still really buzzed, so it takes a while to jog my memory. “That was a long time ago and that class was huge. How do you remember me?”

He laughs, and his body moves against me. “You probably don’t realize this, but you’re hard to forget.”

My heart flutters and my breathing hitches, and I hope he doesn’t notice, but based on his small laugh, I’m guessing he does.

“Clem, don’t worry. You had a lot to drink tonight. You probably won’t remember this conversation tomorrow.”

I somehow doubt that. But the spinning starts again.

“Gavin?”

“Yeah.”

“If I do, if I do forget, will you remind me?”

The only answer I get is his arm pulling me closer to him.

* * *

When I wake up, my bed is empty, and a pang of disappointment hits me before a wave of nausea. I scramble out to the bathroom, ducking my head into the bowl just in time.

My head is pounding, and I want to crawl back into bed, but the thought of that disgusting guy at the club licking my neck last night makes me want to bathe with Lysol. I opt instead to take a shower, but I can’t find shit in my room because half of my stuff is still in boxes, so I end up with a towel and a black pair of boy shorts, which will have to do until my hangover subsides long enough to sift through my things.

The shower is painful. Although it feels good to get clean, I think I might hurl again. I lean against the shower wall, shaking and weak, and let the hot water pelt me until the nausea subsides.

Did I imagine Gavin staying with me last night?

Fighting the urge to freak out, I take deep breaths. All the details I know about Gavin tumble around in my head. He’s a great musician and an RA. He helps all those clueless freshmen through their first year in college. He spoons. He smells fucking amazing.

I roll my eyes at myself.

I shouldn’t let myself think about him. I can’t get shattered like that again.

Stepping out of the shower, I pull on my undies and dry my long hair before I wrap the towel around my chest. I wipe off the condensation and stare at my reflection. I look like shit. My eyes are bloodshot, and my skin looks sallow. I take a minute to remove the makeup that’s turned me into a raccoon before I open the door to go back to my room.

Suddenly, I’m tripping over something hard. I wince at the sharp pain in my foot. That’s when I look up to see three guys sitting on the couch, staring at me, in time for my towel to fall. But I’m frozen, my heart pounding in my chest as my head acknowledges that I’m okay. Just half naked.

I growl. “Who the hell put a fucking skateboard in front of a door? Are you trying to kill someone?” They’re still staring at me as I grab my towel and throw it over my shoulder. Storming off back to my room, I yell, “What? It’s not like you’ve never seen boobs before. Get over it.”

I slam my door, escalating the pounding in my head.

It’s almost noon. Good God, I can’t believe I have to go to work today. What was I thinking? Shuffling boxes around my small room, I finally find some clothes, so I grab jeans and a t-shirt.

I hear Ryan through the walls. “Baby, don’t get mad, but we saw Clem naked.”

“She wasn’t naked,” another voice says. “Well, not entirely.”

Who was out there?
Ryan, Kade, and… Gavin.
Fuck.

A few minutes later, someone taps on my bedroom door.

“Clem, honey, it’s me. Can I come in?” Jenna asks, her Southern drawl lengthening around the vowels. The door creeks open, and she pokes her head in. I’m half dressed as she surveys the mess of boxes and steps closer. “Are you okay?”

I press my palm to my forehead. “Sorry I flashed your boyfriend.”

She laughs softly, shutting the door behind her. “That’s okay. I’m sure you fulfilled one of his fantasies just now.” Jenna is so used to the groupies at his shows, nothing fazes her anymore. The only thing she cares about is that he goes home with her. “Can I get you some Advil or something?”

I nod, choking on what I want to say.